LOVERS by Shan

Latest Episodes:

Your F*ck Buddy Might be The One ft. Siffat Haider and Nish Samantray Jun 28, 2023

Show notes

According to the Singles in America study 55% of people reported that they’ve had a friends with benefits, which is a relationship where two people agree to have a sexual relationship based on convenience and a social relationship without a romantic commitment.
And of the people in the study who said they’d had a friend with benefits, about 40% them said that their casual connection eventually turned into a longterm love affair.
So is that number along with the guests of this episode and my personal experience enough to convince you that frequent fucking first and figuring the rest out later is the way to go?
In this episode, we are joined by Siffat Haider and Nish Samantray the founders of Arrae- a natural supplement company, who’s passion is to help people optimize their health and wellness.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
HoneyLove
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Go to https://www.betterhelp.com/lovers
Follow the guests on this episode:
Follow Shan
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loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Siffat: https://www.instagram.com/siffhaider
Nish: https://www.instagram.com/plentyofnish_
Check out Arrae: https://www.arrae.com
Krista: https://www.instagram.com/itskrista
Krizia: https://www.instagram.com/kriziacruz_

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The Hidden Cost of Ungratefulness in Relationships feat. Dante Jones Jun 21, 2023

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In 2021, Harvard Health did a giant gratitude study and found that couple who show gratitude for their partner, and who express that gratitude regularly, are more satisfied with their relationship. University of California Berkeley's research team referred to gratitude as the quiet difference maker in relationship formation. The journal of social and personal relationships reported that individuals who feel appreciated by their partners have better-functioning relationships that are less likely to be impacted by ineffective arguing and even financial stress.
All that to say, a little gratitude goes a long way.
In this episode, I talk to Dante Jones, (one half of the duo THEY) all about gratitude.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
Zocdoc
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Hello Fresh:
https://www.hellofresh.com/lovers16

Blissy
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Article sited:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
Follow Shan
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loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Dante
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https://www.unofficialthey.com/tour
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More Sex Does Not Make You Better in Bed, but THIS Will feat. Emily Morse Jun 14, 2023

Show notes

Dr. Emily Morse is the host of the hit podcast Sex with Emily. Emily has been dubbed “the Dr. Ruth of a new generation” and has helped millions of people navigate the world of sex and relationships. In her new book Smart Sex, she condenses all she’s learned as a doctor of human sexuality and offers a groundbreaking framework that will change the way you think about sex and pleasure. In her new book you’ll uncover.
· A new sexual intelligence that will allow you to connect deeply with your body, your desires, and the psychological and physical blocks that are keeping you from experiencing the pleasure that is your birthright.
· Communication hacks to talk to your partner about topics ranging from oral sex to open relationships and everything in between.
· The truth about orgasms and how to start having more plentiful, powerful, and satisfying orgasms.
· Everything you need to know to be a good lover, from collaboration to technique. (Hint: it's not what you think.)
· And so much more
FIVE PILLARS OF YOUR SEXUALITY:
Pillar #1: Embodiment
Pillar #2: Health
Pillar #3: Collaboration
Pillar #4: Self- knowledge
Pillar #5: Self acceptance
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
Babbel:
www.babbel.com/Lovers for 55% off your subscription.
Betterhelp:
www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month
Hungryroot:
www.hungryroot.com/lovers for 30% off your first delivery and free veggies.
Follow Shan:
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Emily:
https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily
Get Emily's new book:
https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Sex-Boost-Your-Pleasure/dp/0778387100/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1686695143&refinements=p_27%3AEmily+Morse&s=books&sr=1-1

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If You're Not Paying the Bills, What ARE You Doing? Feat. Cocktales Jun 07, 2023

Show notes

If you’re a podcast listener, you already know that there’s a whole lot of discussions about what people don’t do in relationships, what they need to be doing, and insight on what romantic partners want from others.
And I guess it’s all well and good to have standards, but it’s even better to:

Be aware of which standards are based on what we actually need to have a quality romantic partnership vs which standards are based on discriminatory, outdated values that hurt others AND our chances at forming healthy partnerships.

Be clear about what standards people can hold you to. In short, what exactly are you bringing to the romantic relationship table and furthermore what are you admitting that you won’t be carrying?

In this episode, I am discussing this in a hilarious and honest conversation with the ladies of Cocktales.
We also have THE Matchmaking Duo here to share the secret to finding a compatible long term
partner.
Here is your conversation starter pack:
What are you enthusiastically bringing to a romantic relationship today?
What are you interested in getting better at bringing?
What do you know you can’t and probably won’t carry?
How do you want your romantic partner to respond to you when you’re not meeting their standards?
How do you plan to respond when they inevitably, don’t meet all of yours?
Which are your deal breakers and where considering your answers to the top questions can you stand to do a lil bending?
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
Ritual:
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Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow the ladies of Cocktales:
https://www.instagram.com/kikisaidso/
https://www.instagram.com/cocktalespodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/coffeebeandean/
Follow the Matchmaking Duo:
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https://www.instagram.com/kriziacruz_/

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I Want You to Be Obsessed with Me - Raven Ross' Highs & Dangerous Lows Being a Hopeless Romantic May 31, 2023

Show notes

What Is Your Love Story?
Not the one that you’re in per se, but the one that subconsciously, you’ll move mountains or reality, to live inside? Psychologists have identified 26 kinds of stories that people commit to BEFORE committing to their romantic partner so, which one is yours?
Our starring guest Raven Ross who you can recall from Netlfix’s reality series, Love is Blind Season 3. She is also a pilates instructor nearly a 2 million followers on social media. Raven went through one of the messiest Tik Tok cheating scandals last year with her ex-fiancee. Now, she’s ready to love out loud again plus wants to share with you how, why, and maybe even who..
A love story is a frame of reference for how you believe love works or should work. Kind of like how your political beliefs describe how you think a group of people should be governed. Now, as I mentioned off the top, in my fav book, the new psychology of love, there are 26 different common stories that people can subscribe to.
Addiction - we have an intense first connection and from then on we need each other and create a dynamic based around the fear of parting ways
Audition - you gotta win the part and keep proving you love me and if you forget the lines or go too far off script
Art - my partner looks good and they make me look good because I own something beautiful
Business - our union is designed to give us more money, power and respect from others
Cookbook - love has a recipe and instruction list, if we forget ingredients or steps our love won’t be as good
Fantasy - save me, marry me, and happily ever after me.
Game - love is a sport with a winner and a loser or if we’re on the same team there’s still a captain and a bench player
Gardening - love is something that has to grow and it takes time, awareness of the environment, plus continuous tending to in order to flourish. For more on this, see my episode where I explain the difference between a fruit and a fruit tree
History - in our relationship you are who you were, there’s only past you and future you. Think of it like the difference between “I’ll believe it when I see it” and “let’s just see!”
Horror - relationships are scary and the scarier it is, the more real it is
Humor - love is a joke, some people get the joke early, some later, but sooner or later everyone gets humbled
Mystery - you don’t need to know everything about each other because maintaining the mystery is more important than discovering yourselves through uncovering one another
Police - you gotta place rules and boundaries on your partner because people are only as good as you’ll allow them to be
Religion - love is in service of the Lord
Sacrifice - love is just as much about what you give as what you’re willing to give up to demonstrate devotion to the other
Science - love can be studied and explained through scientific theory just like anything else
War - love is a power struggle ruled by
The other ones are: recover, science fiction, sewing, theater, travel, war, student-teacher, and a few more.
Conversation starter pack
What story of love are you currently subscribing to?
Which ones are you aspiring to?
What narratives are you trying to stay clear of and why?
What love story was modeled for you growing up?
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!

www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS for 30% off your first delivery and your free veggies.
http://www.carawayhome.com/lovers for 10% off

www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month

www.zocdoc.com to download the free app
Follow Shan:
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https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Raven:
https://www.instagram.com/pilatesbodyraven
www.pilatesbodyraven.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@pilatesbodyraven

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This is What it Sounds Like When a Man Cries feat. Dom Gabriel May 24, 2023

Show notes

We often talk about how men have an easier life, but I think at this point we can also agree that maintaining the identity of “a real man” is extremely hard. Masculinity is what I would call a wet fish identity - because like catching a fish with your bear hands - It’s hard to do, even harder to hold onto and incredibly easy to lose a grip on. And one of the fastest ways to call your capability of holding onto a wet fish into question, is to add more slick to the situation by crying.
It’s one thing for a man to reveal his hurt, pain and insecurities - which you might recall we already discussed in episod 4 of Lovers and Friends, do we really want vulnerable men starring Aba n Preach.
So what comes up for us when we see a man cry? And how do we deconstruct those feelings without tearing down the man or his masculinity in the process? These are all questions I wanted to pontificate with, with the man himself, Dominic Gabriel- a personality and mental health advocate best known from his appearances on Netflix's Perfect Match and The Mole. You may also recognize him from his viral Tik Toks OR from his brand new podcast Dom Meets World.
Conversation starter pack from this episode:
What is masculinity? Is it something you have? Or something you have to earn and maintain?
Is it a turnoff to see a man cry?
Is it a turnon?
Aren’t both of those responses equally as strange? What’s the healthier alternative?
Is crying a useful expression regardless of gender? Should we all attempt to control it because it can be likened to losing your temper?
How do we create an environment where people tasked with proving their masculinity, don’t feel like they have to keep up the audition in front of us?
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
Storyworth
https://www.storyworth.com/lovers to save $10 on your first purchase!
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Get better sleep now with Blissy and use LOVERS to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/LOVERS
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Use code Lovers16 for 16 free meals
Follow Shan:
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https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
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loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Dom:
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Why Did He Suddenly Lose Interest In Sex? Feat. Drew Love May 17, 2023

Show notes

Did you know that every 7 seconds, a man thinks about sex?
That's more than 500 times an hour and more than 12,000 times a day… And even though that sounds crazy, I’m sure it sounds familiar because this stat has circulated for decades. Now, myth-buster there is no scientific evidence to back this up, and studies that HAVE been done site that men think about sex an average of 19 times a day with the highest number of the study being around 380 thoughts a day and the lowest being once per day (which of course if you’re told to record how much you think about sex you’re gonna think about sex more and at the very least ONCE to note that your only thought about having sex that day was that you never thought about having sex…
Point being, in a society that’s conditioned us to believe that all day men dream about sex, what do we do when the man we’re with doesn’t want to have sex with us? That’s where we’re going on this episode featuring Drew Love. the lead singer of the popular R&B group THEY who just released their album Nu Moon, which is streaming everywhere now.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
Hello Fresh:
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Follow Shan:
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loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow THEY:
https://www.instagram.com/they
Follow Drew Love:
https://www.instagram.com/drewlove

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Love At First Sight Almost Sabotaged My Marriage Apr 26, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I want to break down what I know about “knowing” someone is the one, before you know their true character. This isn’t meant to knock anyone who chooses to mate this way, because culturally a lot of us subscribe to the importance of instant attraction even if we don’t think we do - but instead to provide you with some knowledge that I wish I had before letting love at first sight lead me astray. Love at first sight is a global phenomenon - meaning no matter where you go, there it is in different languages, stories and beliefs.
In this episode I define what love at first sight is, explain why the brain likes to do it, provide insight into how love at first sight might just be another brand of discrimination, explain how it can be used wisely and also share the dangers of placing a lot of emphasis on how couples met.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!

BLISSY
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When a Man Submits to Her Success feat. Jade Novah and Devin Johnson Apr 19, 2023

Show notes

Let’s talk about submission! My fav definition of this comes from Hafeez who simply said to submit is to sub (be underneath) another person’s mission. Now, one of the main purposes of romantic relationships is to be stronger together - a concept we’ve gone into before when we discussed self expansion theory on episode 4 featuring Jeannie Mai. The Self expansion theory states that the best way to expand, together, is to take stock of each other’s strengths, then create a dynamic that aligns with that reality.
But what happens when in the end of this audit, you realize that your strengths fall outside of traditional gender roles? And furthermore you realize that the man’s strengths are perfectly suited to aid in the woman’s success? How does it work and furthermore CAN it work when a man realizes his partner’s potential and then makes her mission, his main mission? That’s what we are going to be talking about on this episode featuring Jade Novah and Devin Johnson.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
Hungryroot
Go to http://www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS
Use code LOVERS for 30% off your first order!
That’s Hungryroot.com/LOVERS. Don’t forget to use our link, so they know we sent you.
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Follow Jade:
https://www.instagram.com/jadenovah/
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https://www.instagram.com/mrdevinaire/?hl=en
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Everything You Pray You Won't Have to Know About Infertility feat. Deja Riley's story Apr 12, 2023

Show notes

For women in their 30s, 1 in 5 will experience problems conceiving their first child. Deja Riley, our starring guest gives firsthand advice of what it's like to go through over two years of fertility treatments. A grueling experience that's cost her over $20,000 and almost her marriage.
In this episode Deja tells all: her experience with IUI, IVF, miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy, eastern medicine, and finally surrender. To keep up with Deja's journey follow her
Deja:
http://instagram.com/Dejariley
@Doseofduality- her podcast
http://Dejariley.com
Follow our other special guests
Krizia:
http://instagram.com/kriziacruz_
Krystal
http://instagram.com/krystalfranklintv
Thanks so much to the sponsors of this episode.
SKIMS
Fits Everybody Collection
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LOMI
Get $50 off your electric countertop composter by visiting
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Then using promocode LOVERS
RITUAL and Synbiotic+
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Follow Shan:
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loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

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