LOVERS by Shan

Latest Episodes:

Family Discussion: Sex, Aging and Our Relationship Dynamics feat. My Mom Apr 05, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I sit down with my mom and sister to talk about our sex ed growing up and now as parents ourselves, what we believe is the most important lesson to teach our kids when it comes to sex and love...
You'll also hear a good bit of a past episode that you can listen to in its entirety here.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovers-and-friends-with-shan-boodram/id1586679298
I also explain how I plan to bring up conversations about sex to my daughters and what I hope they take away from those.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
Lume
New customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code LOVERS at http://www.LumeDeodorant.com

Intimissimi

Go to http://www.intimissimi.com/jlo
ZocDoc:
http://www.ZOCDOC.com/LOVERS
Betterhelp!
Go to betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month!
http://www.betterhelp.com/lovers
Follow Lauren:
https://www.maketheshiftcoach.com/
https://www.instagram.com/maketheshiftwithlauren/
Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

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Losing Our Baby Broke Me, BUT I Never Told Her That feat. Mike Johnson Mar 29, 2023

Show notes

Up to 1 in 4 known pregnancies may end in miscarriage. For many of us, this stat is old news - but as we continue to have this conversation aloud after generations of keeping this pain private - what I do think is new is considering how the father feels about the loss. It seems like a no-brainer, but speaking from personal experience, it hadn’t really crossed my mind until recently. So, let’s talk about it with our special guest Mike Johnson on this episode of Lovers and Friends.
According to a study conducted by School of Sciences fathers displayed less “active grief” than their female partners, BUT they were more vulnerable to feelings of despair and difficulty in coping 8 weeks following the loss.
The National Library of Medicine found that of 40 men who’s partner had a miscarriage, 59% said they had a deepened awareness of the fragility of life, 45% mourned the loss of their family’s hopes and dreams, 40% reported a strong sense of vulnerability and powerlessness to help their wife and half did not share feelings with their partner at all.
These are numbers that I believe our starring guest can bring a face too, and this is a face you might recognize. Mike Johnson has already been a guest on Lovers and Friends in one of our biggest episodes “Tall, Dark, Handsome and Sexually Insecure.”
Follow Mike Johnson
http://instagram.com/mike_johnson
https://www.feelingseen.com/
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
Hungryroot!
Just go to Hungryroot.com/LOVERS, to get 30% off your first delivery and get your free veggies.
Intimissimi
Go to intimissimi.com/jlo again thats intimissimi.com/jlo
Betterhelp!
Go to betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month!
Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Sources:
https://time.com/3982471/men-are-the-forgotten-grievers-in-miscarriage/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8064426/
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02646839908404587#.Vb9xQc4qefQ

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Saving Our Relationship By Having an Open One feat. Bayleigh and Swaggy C Mar 22, 2023

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Open relationships. Now, you can clutch them pearls and raise those eyebrows all you want to, but this conversation is not going away - especially not in America.
Using two separate samples based on the U.S. Census, researchers found that one-fifth of the population in the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives and if the trend continues, the only place this number is going is up. So… are open relationships the bandaid, the cure or the curse of our generation? And furthermore, how do you actually start one? Like for real? Let’s talk about it on this episode of Lovers and Friends.
We have a loaded conversation between our starring guests on this episode, Swaggy C and Bayleigh. A married couple with a new baby, but an old, inactive desire to explore consensual non-monogamy within their marriage. There are a lot of themes to pull from this interview like: what happens when non-monogamy is one person’s yum and the other’s yea I guess if that will make you happy… OR the dangers of using non-monogamy as a punishment for unfulfillment… OR the joys/ struggles of having a partner who is supportive of your desires, but not all the way cooperative. However what stood out to me in this episode is how to go from being curious to actually being actively open...for real.
FOLLOW THE GUESTS ON THIS EPISODE
Follow Bayleigh:
https://www.instagram.com/bayydayy
https://www.youtube.com/c/SwayleighGang
https://www.tiktok.com/@bayydayyy
Follow Chris “Swaggy C”:
https://www.instagram.com/swaggyctv
https://www.youtube.com/@KingSwaggy
Follow Dr. Monica:
https://www.therapyforqpoc.com
therapyforqpoc@gmail.com
THANKS TO THE SPONSOR OF THIS EPISODE
BET
Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at
http://www.bet.plus
Better Help
Discover your potential with BetterHelp.
http://www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month.
Hello Fresh
Try America’s #1 Meal Kit for yourself. Get 60% off plus free shipping.
Http://www.hellofresh.com/lovers60
Dipsea
Explore your fantasies or get inspired with a 30 day free trial now.
http://www.dipsea.com/lovers
Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Open relationship reading list From Dr. Monica:
IG Educational Pages
· Evita Sawyers | @lavitaloca34
· Chanee Jackson Kendall | @chaneespeaks
· Jhen | @monogamishpod
· Kevin Patterson | @polyrolemodels
· @polyamouraousblackgirl
· Leanne Yau | @polyphiliablog
Books
· Pre-Order | A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Non-monogamous | Evita Sawyers
· Love is Not Colorblind | Kevin Patterson
· Polysecure | Jessica Fern
· The Ethical Slut | Hardy & Easton
· More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory | Ricket & Veaux
· Polyamory & Jealousy | Ricket & Veaux

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Becky G Opens Up About Being Sick and Sick and Tired of Hating Herself Mar 15, 2023

Show notes

Becky G is an award-winning, chart topping, international superstar who has always been grateful for her life, but at one point, hated herself and the experience of being alive.
In order to get out of that dark place and to get the clarity she needed to heal she knew she needed a superhero, but what she didn’t know is “that hero” would ultimately need to be herself. In this episode Becky G candidly shares how learning to love herself, advocate for her needs and set boundaries has opened up a world of abundance, power, and arguably most importantly, self compassion.
Follow Becky G
https://www.instagram.com/iambeckyg/
https://www.tiktok.com/@iambeckyg
https://www.youtube.com/@beckyg
You can still watch old episodes of Becky’s Facebook Watch Show: Face to Face with Becky G
https://www.facebook.com/watch/iambeckyg/1684197931784162/
AND OF COURSE WATCH THESE INTERNETS FOR BECKY’S COACHELLA PERFORMANCES THIS APRIL!
And if you came here looking for quick links to the incredible sponsors of this episode, we got you!
EveryPlate
http://www.everyplate.com/podcast
Use Code: Lovers149
Lomi:
http://www.lomi.com/lovers
Use Code: Lovers
BET
Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at
http://www.bet.plus
Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

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I'm a Grown Ass Woman Woman Without Any Friends... feat. Krista from Almost 30 Mar 08, 2023

Show notes

Does making friends get harder as you get older? How the hell do I make friends?
According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021, a lot of people are not satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have.
If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.
So how long does it take to make a new friend?
-50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend
- 90 hours before becoming real friends
- 200hours- before becoming close friends
- source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'
As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments.
In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work.
A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
ZocDoc:
https://www.zocdoc.com/
Ritual
https://ritual.com/lovers for 10% off your first 3 months
Follow the guests on this episode:
Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Krista:
https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/
https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/
https://www.instagram.com/morningmicrodose/
https://www.instagram.com/moderntarot/
Follow Tabia:
https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/
Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson
https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/
https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/
Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT
https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/

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Sex: Your Steamy Questions with My Husband Mar 01, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I am answering 10 questions submitted by YOU, allll about sex!
I am looking forward to making more Q+A episodes, so feel free to submit your questions around sex, love and dating.
Huge thank you to the sponsors of this episode Ritual
Use code Lovers for 10% your order for 3 months.
Http://ritual.com/lovers
Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Jared:
Http://instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady

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It Could've Worked Out But... ft. Lauren Jauregui on Breaking Up with Ty Dolla $ign Feb 22, 2023

Show notes

Lauren Jauregui talks about breaking things off with Ty Dolla Sign, writing Always Love, holistically healing and then finding real love again with another woman.
Lauren Jauregui rose to prominence as a member of the girl group Fifth Harmony, which became one of the best- selling girl groups of all time.
Since then, she has gone on to release her solo projects “Expectations” and “Prelude.” Lauren has also collaborated with Steve Aoiki, Halsey, Tainy (Tiny), and Ty-Dolla Sign whom she publicly dated for about 2 years.
Her hit, Always Love, pays homage to the end of her relationship with Ty and in this episode we get under the covers of that song to discuss the reason for the split, the lessons from that love lost and the discoveries she's made about who she is and what she needs since.
Follow @Laurenjauregui on all social media platforms
If you are an international listener, catch her on tour starting in March https://www.laurenjauregui.com/
Listen to “Always Love” the single and her project “Prelude” which are out now
Thank you to the sponsors of this episode
MAGIC SPOON
Go to http://magicspoon.com/lovers to grab a variety pack and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code LOVERS at checkout to save five dollars off your order!
DIPSEA
For listeners of Lovers and Friends, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to http://DipseaStories.com/lovers
BETTER HELP
Visit http://BetterHelp.com/lovers to get 10% off your first month
BUMBLE
Download Bumble in your App Store and put yourself first when you look for love. Also, learn how Bumble can help make your search simpler and more satisfying at http://Bumble.com by clicking on "The Buzz"
Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Lauren:
https://www.instagram.com/laurenjauregui/

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When Your Soulmate Becomes Your Ex Feb 18, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I talk about the 10 soulmates we may encounter over the span of our lives. Thanks for being patient with me this week on this episode. Promise to do better!
Here are the 10 types of soulmates.
The Stranger Soul Mate - unrequited love is still love. We needed them, we loved them, we were certain we were destined to marry them and they barely remember our last name.
The black hole Soul Mate - the person that we lost ourselves and our sensibilities to (usually our first requited soul mate experience)
The Almost doesn’t count Soul Mate - the person who checked all the boxes but couldn’t light your fire (or vice versa)
The Only If They… Soul Mate
The Stay with you Forever but Stay Away From Me Forever Soul Mate - the person you’ll never truly be over even though it’s definitely over
The one that got away - the good guy/ girl who you blew it with and now they’re happy with someone else
The Rip Tide Soulmate - the relationship that preys on your needs, insecurities, weakness’ and fears.
The prototype Soulmate - the person you are so sure is your one but upon further inspection you realize is just a beautiful imposter who taught you what you really needed to know about what you need out of love
The Muse Soulmate - the person who’s meant to teach you about love/ connection, but not give it to you (usually a crush you never get a shot with)
The Love of my Life soulmate- the relationship that allows you to be your best self and love at a higher frequency. A love marked by self insight, happiness, individual growth and true mutuality.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
Babbel!
Http://www.babbel.com/lovers
Bumble: Download the Bumble app today for free!
Hello Fresh!
Http://www.hellofresh.com/lovers
Follow Shan:
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

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I Thought I Was Straight Until I Met You Feat Kiana Lede Feb 08, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex? How do you navigate re-orienting or re-navigating your sexual orientation after a queer experience?
That is exactly what we are breaking down in this episode. Our starring guest is singer, songwriter Kiana Lede.
Kiana is an Arizona born actress, singer and songwriter who burst into the scene with her Youtube series dubbed “Soulfood Sessions”. Her cover of Hotline bling went viral in 2016.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77MenaZJrNw
Since then Kiana has released 2 Studio EPs, over a dozen singles, and a 17 track debut album which debuted at #30 on the Billboard 200 in 2020. Her music has featured artists like Offset, Ari Lennox and BLACK.
Her music has a way of laying out sexual exploration and liberation,
Her latest project, a mixtape titled “unfinished” pays tribute to her late friend Azuma.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
http://www.Bumble.com or Download the Bumble App
Http://www.BetterHelp.com/Lovers
Http://www.zocdoc.com
Follow Shan:
http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Kiana:
https://www.youtube.com/@KianaLede
https://www.instagram.com/kianalede/?hl=en

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Celibutt...Good Lord It's Hard Ft Stephan Speaks Feb 01, 2023

Show notes

Celibacy, abstinence, sex strike, sexlessness, dry spell ….call it what you may but we can all agree is challenging.
This week we are joined by Stephan Speaks- one of the most popular voices in the relationship education space. Stephan has devoted himself to a life of celibacy on more than one occasion: first run with the intention to connect with God, second to connect with his God-given purpose and now he finds himself conflicted between looking for the clarity that celibacy seemed to give him before and longing for the intimacy he desires as a healthy, single, eligible bachelor.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. Dipsea!
Whether you want to energize your sex life for yourself, a lover or so you can channel that energy elsewhere, try tuning into Dipsea because listeners of Lovers and Friends, get a 30 day free trial!
Go to http://DipseaStories.com/LOVERS
Links to episode clips that were featured in this episode.
Glo Atanmo:
https://youtu.be/lbIaM09t0ZU
Tanarelle:
https://youtu.be/FcKrnF2OpS4
Rachel Lindsay:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnEORZJD2pQ&t=354s
Sex Strike:
http://youtu.be/71ZgcVtMq84
Follow Shan:
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http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Stephan Speaks:
http://instagram.com/stephanspeaks
https://www.stephanspeaks.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPBO9gLGy8ujsJ7xjARI7ow

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