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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 450: Liv Mendoza Haynes, Queer Latter-day Saint Sep 12, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Liv Mendoza Haynes, who spoke with the Relief Society General Presidency at BYU Women’s Conference, shares her story. Liv (who is a convert, RM, Lawyer, Young Woman’s President and expectant mother), shares her journey which included coming out as queer church-wide at Women’s Conference in April 2021 as part of the Relief Society goal to help everyone belong (see https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry/2021-04-29/byu-womens-conference-relief-society-a-safe-place-belonging-211785 and https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2021/04/29/help-all-women-including/). Liv talks about being queer and why they label works for her, advice to other queer/LGBTQ women, advice to parents of LGBTQ children, supporting all types of marriages, better sitting with people in their pain, how to better mourn, develop compassion on not judge. Liv also explains why being queer is not a problem. She believes this is how her Heavenly Parents intended for her to be created. It is a beautiful part of her identity. The problem is the reaction of others and how we can improve and better create Zion following the invitation of the Relief Society General Presidency. Thank you Liv for being on the podcast. You and your husband Matthew are awesome. Your story is helping so many. Keep being you! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 449: Colette Dalton, Gay Latter-day Saint, LCSW Sep 10, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Colette Dalton (Masters of Social Work from BYU, worked for the Church, now therapist at Symmentry Solutions) share her journey as a gay/queer Latter-day Saints. Colette shares her journey to understand her sexual orientation, navigating being queer and a Church employee and her work as a therapist. If you are a queer women or parent of a queer daughter, Colette’s insights will help you. And if you are someone who wants to better understand queer Latter-day Saints to help them move forward, or someone working though suicidal ideation, or wanting to strengthen your relationships, Colette’s insights will help you. Thank you Colette for being on the podcast. Your good heart, story and clinical experience helps so many

    Episode 448: Kendall Harward, Gay Latter-day Saint Sep 07, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Kendall Harward (Ghana, West Africa RM) bravely shares his story. Kendall talks about life before his mission pushing down this aspect of his essence, talking to his Bishop, and going on his mission believing feelings of being gay was a phase that ended. Kendall bravely talks about realizing being gay was still part of him during his mission and how he navigated the complexity of his situation including overwhelming shame for his feelings. Kendall talks about returning home hoping he would marry a woman and fulfill his hope for a family and life within the Church. Kendall talks about dating women and how he feels that is not going to be his path. He talks about dating men, going through the church repentance process, and his recent positive of loving experience with his Bishop and Stake President and his desire to stay connected to his local ward. Kendall also talks about the need for self-care and how seeing a therapist and taking care of himself is needed and not selfish and invites everyone to talk care of themselves. Thank you Kendall for being on the podcast. You are brave and courageous. Talking about this tender subject removes shame and helps others walking a similar road to feel hope and better connect with our Heavenly Parents and the Savior. You are a great man. This world is a better place with you here. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 447: Stuart Barrett, RM, Church Discipline, Active Latter-day Saints Sep 04, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Stuart Barrett (RM from Nebraska, age 26) bravely shared his experience being disfellowshipped in a Facebook post (see https://www.facebook.com/1344601875/posts/10225731849786709/) and returned to full Church activity. Stuart talks about why he is open about this chapter of his life, why he is a better person for going through the process, efforts to reduce shame and desire to give hope to others. If you want to go through the repentance process or help others, please listen to Stuart’s podcast. He is brave, honest, vulnerable and authentic. His story will help you. Also, if you are suicidal, Stuart has insights that will give you more hope and desire to stay. Thank you Stuart for being on the podcast. Respect. Your facebook post and doing the podcast helps 100s and 100s.

    Episode 446: Devan Jensen, Latter-day Saint Media and Publishing Association Sep 01, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Devan Jensen, president of the Latter-day Saint Publishing and Media Association (ldspma.org), joins us to introduce the organization and invite listeners to their upcoming conference at BYU October 7-9, 2021. The association is for Latter-day Saints in publishing or media or independently sharing content through blogs, podcasts, or social media (membership is free). Those who join can network or find resources to help efforts to reach a wider audience (such as writing a book, developing a podcast, better using social media, etc). On the podcast, Devan talks about the organization’s purpose and the upcoming conference (student discount code of Student2021 and all others code of Friend2021; good through September 30). Devan also shares principles and insights to find common ground. If you are a Latter-day Saint developing content, please listen to this podcast and check out this organization. They are providing a needed resource. Thank you, Devan, for being on the podcast and for all your great work!

    Episode 445: Richard Ostler Update Aug 29, 2021
    Show notes

    In this solo episode following the events at BYU on August 23rd, I share thoughts for my LGBTQ Latter-day Saints friends, thoughts about my friend Matt Easton, thoughts for fellow Latter-day Saints who are LGBTQ allies, thoughts for local leaders wanting to talk about supporting LGBTQ Latter-day Saints in their local areas, and insights for those in a faith crisis who want to stay in the Church. In the podcast I reference a Questions from the Closet episode (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-do-i-do-if-im-hurt-by-something-a-church-leader-says/id1504990147?i=1000532985270), David Archuleta (https://www.instagram.com/p/CTFK5tsDXbD/, Facebook group for active Latter-day Saints working to implement church supported LGBTQ discussions/activities in their area (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143) and a chapter about getting through a faith-crisis from my upcoming book (https://www.dropbox.com/s/rei464khsydwdsb/Chapter%2010%20Ministering%20To%20Those%20With%20Questions.pdf?dl=0) I hope this podcast helps better bring us together as the Body of Christ and create Zion. Love, Richard Ostler

    Episode 444: Mindi Holmgren (husband Corey died), Justin Holmgren (brother Corey died) Aug 28, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Mindi Holmgren and Justin Holmgren join us to share about the sudden death of their husband/brother at age 35. Corey, who drowned in the community swimming pool on January 19th 2019, was a Military Chaplain and LMFT working at Lifestar in Murray, Utah who helped hundreds during his lifetime. Mindi and Corey are the parents of four—with their last child born 6 weeks after Corey’s death. Mindi and Justin share about Corey’s life work (which one of Corey’s clients, Tate LeBaron spoke about in Episode 422), how to help those with a sudden and tragic family death, what to say and not to say, and how they are making their way forward. They also talk about how their testimony has deepened and their thoughts about the plan of salvation to bring hope and the Atonement of Jesus Christ to help bring healing. They also talk about how there is sometimes no answers and how to live with faith during mortality. The Holmgren family has started a non-profit organization in Corey’s name. Check it out at coreyholmgren.org. If you are interested in donating to their cause, you can do so right on their website or through Venmo at @chmemfund. If you are dealing with a sudden and tragic family death, want to help others, or want your faith strengthened, please listen to this podcast. It is powerful and moving. It is sacred ground to listen to and witness this family story. You can reach Mindi on IG at @focusingoneternity and Justin on IG or Twitter at @justinholmgren. Thank you Mindi and Justin for being on the podcast and sharing your story. Great job. It honors Corey and gives us better insights to help others.

    Episode 443: Dr Ryan Anderson, Abusive Relationship Aug 25, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Ryan Anderson (LDS married father of 4, Ph.D. in Medical Family Therapy from East Carolina University) talks about helping those in abusive relationships and also tools to help local Church leaders better meet the needs of those who bravely open up about being victims of abuse. Ryan offers this free webinar https://academy.cedarfort.com/course/religion-and-abuse. Ryan has a book from Cedar Fort on this subject coming out in Q1 2022. If you are in an abusive relationship, want to help others, or are a local Church leader, please listen to this podcast. I found it very helpful with many great principles to help all of us have better tools in our relationships. I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast. Thank you Ryan for being on the podcast and all your great work. You can contact Ryan at: randerson@telos.org

    Episode 442: Noah Hanson, Age 23, RM, Gay Latter-day Saint, Patriots fan Aug 22, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend @noah7hanson on IG shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Noah talks about life in High School, and his successful mission (came out to Heavenly Father at the end of his mission). Noah also talks about dating women, getting engaged, and then receiving strong personal revelation to end that engagement and come out to his now ex-fiancé as gay. That put Noah in a very difficult and dark space. Noah eventually felt his best path forward was to date men and stay in the Church. Noah met Marshall Day (Atlanta, Georgia RM, Graduate from Utah State) about two years ago, and talks about how that relationship has strengthened his faith in his Heavenly Father and the Savior. Noah and Marshall attend Church each week and hope to participate as much as possible in the Church, and raise a family centered on Christ and His gospel. Thank you Noah for being on the podcast and sharing your story. It will help so many. Glad to meet you and Marshall. You two have great lives ahead of you. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 441: Kim Siever, Age 48, Married Father of Six, Active LDS, Queer Aug 19, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Kim Siever zooms us from Lethbridge, Alberta, to share his story. Kim, who is Canadian, served a mission in Utah and is now an independent journalist. He tells us his lifelong journey to understand his sexual orientation after being convinced for over 40 years that he was straight. He also shares how the Spirt helped him understand this part of him, and he came out as queer to his wife, family, and friends only last year. Kim came out to his Latter-day Saint congregation during a Fast and Testimony Meeting in early August and explains why he felt impressed to do that and the reaction of ward members. Kim feels no shame in being both queer and a Latter-day Saint and sees them as two parts of the same identity. Kim’s podcast is very insightful, and I hope it will help us understand there are LGBTQ Latter-day Saints of all ages and how we can better support them as we try to create a feeling of belonging within the church. Thank you for being on the podcast, Kim. Respect for sharing your story that helps all of us better come together as the Body of Christ. Great job! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

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