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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 541: Nicole Herway, Domestic Violence Survivor and Therapist Jul 07, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Nicole Herway (LCSW, Mother of Two, Divorced Survivor of Intimate Partner Abuse, Active LDS) bravely shares her own story to help others. She is not doing this to speak poorly of her former spouse, but to increase knowledge and awareness of abusive patterns and debunk myths. In the podcast Nicole debunks 8 myths using her own story, academic knowledge, and front-line clinical experience. If you feel you might be in an abusive relationship, please listen to this podcast. It will help you. If you suspect someone you love is in an abuse relationship, please listen to this podcast. And if you are a local church leader, please listen as it will give you better tools to help others. Thank you, Nicole, for being on the podcast. I learned so much. I encourage everyone to listen to this powerful episode. Links mentioned in the podcast: Nicole’s web site: https://www.herwaycounseling.com/ Power and Control Wheel and Equality Wheel: https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheel-gallery/ Sister Aileen H. Clyde Quote (starting with “If charity is not ….): https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1991/11/charity-suffereth-long Elder Kearon April 2022: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/24kearon Elder Hollard April 2021: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/04/23holland ** Please Check Out My New Book (Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; link below)** Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566

    Episode 540: Lauren Harrigian, New Convert, Transgender Latter-day Saint Jul 04, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Lauren Harrigian (early 30s, living in AZ, Mental Health Therapist) share her journey to transition and then later connect with and join the Church. Lauren talks about why transitioning helped her be her ‘full-self’ leading to more happiness and peace. Lauren then talks about why she joined the Church to find more peace and feel God’s love. She also talks about the love and support she is receiving as a member of the Church in her Ward and Relief Society. This is a great podcast to understanding our transgender friends and how to love/support a transgender Latter-day. It also gives us insights on how we are stronger with our transgender members and how they too a part of the “Gathering of Israel” and help us create Zion. Thank you, Lauren for being on the podcast. You are awesome. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 539: Troy Gagon, Lost son Terik to Suicide, Solving Pornography Jul 01, 2022
    Show notes

    **Trigger Warning: Podcast talks about Suicide. If you are suicidal please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255** My friend Troy Gagon (age 52, Married Father of 7, Active LDS) bravely shares his long journey to understand and solve pornography—including the effectiveness of the ACT (Acceptance, Commitment, Therapy) approach. Troy also talks about his 17-year-old son Terik who died by suicide in Feb 2015 (you can read more about Terik at www.terikgagon.com). Troy talks about how his family is healing and finding hope, things we can do to better support families who have lost on to suicide, and hopeful thoughts to those who are suicidal. If you are working to solve pornography, please listen to this podcast. Troy’s insights will help you. And if you have lost a family member to suicide, Troy’s perspective and gospel insights will help you. You can reach Troy at T.s.gagon@gmail.com or 801-836-5733. Thank you, Troy for your courage to share your story. Respect. ** Please Check Out My New Book (Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; link below) that discusses solving pornography—and helping those with scrupulosity and mental health challenges ** Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566

    Episode 538: Michael Finch, Age 27, Suicide Survivor, RM, BYU Student, Gay Jun 28, 2022
    Show notes

    **Trigger Warning: Podcast talks about Suicide. If you are suicidal please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255** My friend Michael Finch bravely shares his story. Michael talks about realizing at BYU that he is gay before his mission, resulting in feelings of “my life is over”. At that time, Michael ignored this realization, and he served a successful mission in New York City speaking Mandarin Chinese. Michael talks about returning home and trying to move forward with his life including coming out as gay (positive experience). However, suicidal ideation (which has been part of Michael’s story since before his mission) continued until Michael’s suicide attempt in March 2021. Michael bravely shares more about that experience, what he has learned and why he decided to openly share about his suicide attempt to help others. A year after his suicide attempt, Michael made this Instagram post in March 2022 (www.instagram.com/p/CbgRYONvJMEG2Y9pKxDA2u7r272D-WqoTy-EZk0/). If you are feeling suicidal or what to help others, please listen to Michael’s podcast. He helps us understand why someone considers suicide and how best to help them. I learned so much listening to Michael. If you are suicidal, please call 800-273-8255 Thank you, Michael, for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. Respect. You are a great man with a wonderful future. Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤️ https://www.listenlearnandlove.org/gay-lesbian-same-sex-podcasts https://listenlearnandlove.org/suicide-podcasts ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 537: Taylor Niebergall, Building Bridges Podcast Jun 25, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Taylor Niebergall (active LDS, Married Mother of Two) joins us to talk about her podcast focus on building bridges between those in the Church and those who have left the Church. Taylor talks about why she started the podcast, the purpose and her hopes to build more understanding between these two groups of people. You can check out Taylor’s podcast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/building-bridges/id1585596531. The article she wrote can be found here, http://the-after-eden-project.com/ and you can follow the Building bridges Facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/Building-Bridges-podcast-101942785569497/ or Taylor’s personal account here https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008387117636 You can also check out my brother David Ostler’s book referenced in the podcast at: https://bridgeslds.com/about-author/ Thank you Taylor for being on the your good work to bring us together as the same human family. ** Check out my book on improving Latter-day Saint Culutre ** Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566 Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love

    Episode 536: Sadi Rogers, Same-Sex Marriage, Believes in Church Jun 18, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Sadi Rogers (age 32, EMT, mother of 3) shares her story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Sadi talks about growing up in Arizona, realizing she has romantic feelings for women, being honest with her Bishop and eventually marrying a man. Sadi talks about the goodness of that marriage (lasted 11 years) which eventually ended. Sadi then talks about her desire to be single and fully participate in the Church. That changed when Sadi met and then fell in love with her now wife Quinn Kelly—including personal revelation this was her path. While I invite everyone to follow Church teachings, I share stories of LGBTQ Latter-day Saints on their own unique paths to help us better support others. Neither Sadi or I are inviting others to follow Sadi’s path—but we are inviting us to come together as the same human family to love and support each other and leave judgement to our Savior and His perfect understanding. Thank you for your courage to be on the podcast Sadi and share your story. You are a wonderful person doing much good in this world. I’m glad you have Quinn in your life. You both have my love and support. For more stories of LGBTQ Latter-day Saint women, please check out Meghan Decker’s book (referenced in the podcast) at https://meghandecker.com/tender-leaves-of-hope ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 535: Ashley Smith, LDS Mother of a Gay Son, LDS Living Article Jun 15, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Ashely Smith (Married Mother of Six, Active LDS, Mayor of Cañon City, Colorado) shares the story of raising and supporting their gay son Kyle. This podcast is based on the excellent article that Ashley wrote for LDS Living in June 2022 (https://www.ldsliving.com/what-can-you-say-when-a-family-member-comes-out-as-gay-7-ideas-from-a-latter-day-saint-mom/s/10712). This is a powerful podcast. I encourage everyone to read the LDS Living article and listen to the podcast and then consider what you can do in your circle of influence to improve our understanding of and support for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Thank you, Ashley for being on the podcast and writing this LDS Living article. You are doing wonderful work in many areas to bless and help others. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 534: Marie Ellis Cook, Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Jun 12, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Marie Cook (Active LDS, Age 28, Married Mother, Temple Square RM) bravely shares her story growing up in a home with a narcissistic mother. Marie discusses how she gradually realized her unhealthy upbringing and how these behaviors were becoming part of how she treated others. Following a painful breakup, Marie (with the help of friends) walked into BYU-Idaho counseling center to begin her road to healing and to break the cycle in her future family. It is a remarkable story of courage to change her trajectory and now help others. Marie, who is a certified recovery coach, shares helpful tips on her Instagram account @marieelliscook If you are in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic, this podcast will help you. If you want insights to help others in a narcissistic relationship, this podcast will help you. And if you have narcissistic tendencies, this podcast will help you. Thank you, Marie, for your courage to share your story.

    Episode 533: Isabelle Wheeler, Nonbinary Latter-day Saint Jun 09, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Isabelle Wheeler (age 23, UVU student, RM) bravely shares their journey as a nonbinary Latter-day Saint. Isabelle talks about their early life, college, serving a mission (Fort Lauderdale, FL), and their experiences following their mission. If you are nonbinary or transgender, Isabelle’s insights and experience will help you. If you are a parent or local leader trying to better support nonbinary or transgender Latter-day Saints, Isabelle’s story will help you. Thank you, Isabelle for your courage to be on the podcast. I was deeply moved hearing your experiences and gospel insights. You are remarkable and our Church is better with you as a member. Links mentioned in the podcast: Deseret News Article: https://www.deseret.com/u-s-world/2022/6/7/23157031/1-in-20-young-adults-identify-as-transgender-or-nonbinary-pew-survey-finds-pew-research-lgbtq LGBTQ Workshop Panel with Trans and Nonbinary Students: June 15th, Utah Valley University Institute, 7 pm, 785 College Dr, Orem, UT 84058 Chapter 8 from Richard Ostler’s Book: https://www.dropbox.com/s/uz9qjy1dq5fox7c/Chapter%208%2C%20Transgender%20Latter-day%20Saints.pdf?dl=0 Great podcast from Questions for the Closet on Gender Dysphoria: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-is-gender-dysphoria/id1504990147?i=1000565502494 ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 532: Teresa Myers, Age 24, Bisexual Latter-day Saint Jun 06, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Teresa Myers (BYU grad, RM, Recently Married, Active LDS) shares her story as a bisexual Latter-day Saint. Teresa starts with difficult years (including suicidal ideation) that has a component in her sexual orientation. Teresa talks about her decision come out to others, importance of therapy and her decision to share her story to help others. Teresa talks about exploring all possible roads and then feeling personal revelation that her path forward was to marry a man and fully participating in the Church. Teresa talks about opening up to her husband Corbin during the dating process and how that ended up strengthening their relationship and developed a better foundation for honestly, vulnerability and community. Their story is a wonderful love story. If you are a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint, please listen to Teresa’s story. It will help you. If you are a parent of someone wanting to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints, Teresa’s insights will help you. Thank you, Teresa for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. You are strong and brave and you being honest gives hope to others. Links mentioned in the podcast: LDS Living Article: https://www.ldsliving.com/what-can-you-say-when-a-family-member-comes-out-as-gay-7-ideas-from-a-latter-day-saint-mom/s/10712 Meghan Decker Book: https://meghandecker.com/tender-leaves-of-hope Richard Ostler Faith Matters Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/114-are-we-listening-learning-and-loving-a/id1307757928?i=1000561389883 ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

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