Larry Miller Show

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Two Wrongs Possibly Make A Right (Rebrodcast) Jul 11, 2012

Show notes

Sanctimonious loudmouths and hamper slackers alike receive Larry's high dudgeon this week. Yes, we get another acrimonious (but not sanctimonious) Hamper Update and a bonus joke of the week -- all at no extra charge!Will Larry read the stage direction in the Shari's Berries ad copy again? Will he slice his face to ribbons again? Smart money is on "Oh, mmmmmaybe."How is safety razor shaving related to the movie Network? How is the Hamper Update related the movie Patton? Tune in to our longest and therefore bestest episode ever where the answer to all of these mysteries will be revealed. All. questions will be answered. All fears will be allayed. Over and out from stately Miller manor.Quote of the week: "With what, a bowie knife?"

The Game's Over and You've Won (Rebroadcast) Jul 04, 2012

Show notes

Larry takes apart his trademark sign off -- just a little bit. After getting grouchy with his family on the way to Fab Dogs, he winds up laughing his way into Ralphs. Or should we say, "Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs."Larry then tells a very funny joke. Plus we get a hamper update, a fivefecta update AND a leg lamp all in one episode! Don't bother pinching yourself. You're not dreaming. Also on this week's This Week, our engineeer, Dr. Chris Laxamana, LMDS is MIA and presumed snoggered.All stories guaranteed true or double your money back!Quote of the week: "Gee, I hope nothing happened to him."

A Message From Larry! Plus One Million Downloads Can't Be Wrong (rebroadcast) Jun 27, 2012

Show notes

The old fivefecter himself checks in with a message for the LMDS at the top of this week's show!Then, in this week's rebroadcast, Larry eats hot Cambodian food with a tunnel rat from Drake's Drum. And so goes the world's most enigmatic episode description. Eh, shift happens.Yes, hear about Larry dining with one of his drinking pals, whose food was so spicy, Larry couldn't even stand to SMELL it!Also, baseball players are funnier than you think. Especially when they're pretending someone stinks. And so goes the world's least amusing rhyme. But hear about Cleveland's Josh Tomlin getting upstaged by a teammate on TV.Then Larry talks about the wonders of nature. You know, the rainbows, the hummingbirds, the copperhead snakes that drop on you from trees, the river-borne parasites that'll make you think twice about getting your swim trunks wet.Finally Larry declares which airport is the greatest in the US. Will it be O'Hare? Newark? Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International? Is the suspense killing you? With boredom? Tune in and find out. The quote of the week is silence.

Musso and Frank and Sween (Rebroadcast) Jun 20, 2012

Show notes

Larry tells tales from the start of the Million Martini March and shares signs of the end of the world. We hear about Larry and the crew's trip our for hot shaves, martinis, chicken and waffles. Then he talks about a commercial he saw while watching the Jets game that upset him to the very core of his soul. By the end of this episode, you'll realize the huge difference between "and...?" and "and by..."Also, Larry waxes nostalgic for the likes of Anita Ekberg and Anne Jeffreys. Then we hear about what you DON'T want to hear at a silent auction.That's right, honey. You're a winner.Quote of the week: "That's the and. AND I'm calling security."

This Episode is Gluten Free! (Rebroadcast) Jun 13, 2012

Show notes

Larry goes to the emergency room with his son after he gets beaned playing baseball. Larry tells us how to enjoy spending time in a hospital and how to hail the world's biggest cab. Not in the same night, though.Then we hear about Larry trying to act like a hot shot while at the hardware store. Other important topics covered include Larry's love of blue Bic pens and yellow legal pads, his battles over the air conditioner in his house.Listen to this show and you'll be happy. And we'll be happy. And the lights will be happy, because they're on. And you'll wake up in manure bark. All stories on This Week With Larry Miller are certified 100% true and MSG free!The quote of the week: "We love the show. Does Larry like our olives?"

Live From Larry's House! Redux Jun 06, 2012

Show notes

Another encore presentation! Yes, you remember Roger, Dwayne and Encore Presentation from What's Happening, right?Larry goes into the lioness' den and does a hamper update from his own home! Yes, Larry risks life and limb by doing a hamper update right under his wife's nose. How could that be a problem?Yes, Larry's about to head out for a bunch of dates on the road, so we thought we would rehearse some remote records before he steps out into the world, so this show is brought to you live by remote from less than 10 miles from the ACE Broadcasting studio. Isn't the future amazing, folks?Quote of the week: "You're too suspicious."

Larry Double Downs on Borscht Redux May 30, 2012

Show notes

This episode contains more borscht references than you can shake a soup spoon at. Hear beefy hunk Larry Miller explain the subtle comedic difference between "Ah" and "A-ha." We get a fistful of updates, including the most acrimonious hamper update to date. Then Larry tells a story about battling with other comics with food in a diner back in the day. This episode is over. Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!Quote of the week: "I am 'In-The-Groove Jackson' now."

The Five Levels of Drinking Redux Redux May 23, 2012

Show notes

A rare outtake from the TWWLM archives is unearthed and aired for your enjoyment and Colonel Jeff's shame.Then, an encore presentation of a redux! A redux squared?Larry performs one of his signature comedy routines, "The Five Levels of Drinking." This is the first time Larry has ever done this bit NOT in front of a live audience!He then urges caution on the rules for a proposed Larry Miller drinking game. By the way...Later, Larry placates the stateside listeners who feel like they are not getting as much attention as overseas listeners in "exotic" locations. Also hear about normal people, lunatics and actors and how to tell the difference. (Spoiler alert -- normal people and actors don't carry parrots around.)In Larry Miller Drinking Society news, Larry thanks the listeners for abundant suggestions for Latin mottos. Membership cards are in the works! Thanks for your patience.Learn about the joys of swag. Larry gets free booze from the Carolla studio and a free bathrobe from Arsenio Hall and loves them both.

Larry Update & A Run-In With Keith Richards Redux May 16, 2012

Show notes

Larry gets murdered (on screen) and meets a rock icon all in one episode! Hear Larry describe running into Keith Richards in an airport, after eyeballing his wife. Is Keith Richards the coolest guy ever? Possibly, but you'll have to listen to find out for sure.Then Larry talks about his role in the new Bobcat Goldthwait movie and goes into great detail regarding the craft of being killed onscreen. Wait, are you supposed to say "spolier alert" BEFORE or AFTER you say stuff like that? We'll look into that. At any rate, Larry talks about some of his favorite movie deaths and why he thinks they are so great, mentioning Ghost, Hunt for Red October and what's that James Bond film? Oh, OCTOPUSSY!Are you a (ahem) "friend of the show?" Or do you know Joe? Well, come right in, pal. Meet this week's fictional guests (none of whom actually appear in the studio) Senator Claghorn, Duncan "Sticks" Wimpress and, of course, OCTOPUSSY!

Larry Update & Eating Charlie Sheen For Lunch May 09, 2012

Show notes

If Larry was a hot dog, what would he be? You've heard Larry obsess over pies, booze, soap and pretzels. Could hot dogs be far behind? No.Larry talks about eating a hot dog named after Charlie Sheen. He compares and contrasts his hot dog stand dining experience with that of a big-ticket steak joint in Beverly Hills. You may be surprised which one he thought was "time well spent." (Unless you are a regular listener, in which case, the answer will be quite obvious.)Hear our man Larry go bananas over a Green Lantern pin sent in by a listener. Listen as Larry defends and slightly admires Charlie Sheen, talks about meeting Peter Billingsley, gets nostalgic for Chicago dogs and reads hand-written letters from members of the Larry Miller Drinking Society.Quote of the week:"If that doesn't sound pretty good, I believe you're listening to the wrong show."

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