Larry Miller Show

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Larry Update and Keep Pulling That Ripcord Redux May 02, 2012

Show notes

A Larry update from producer Colonel Jeff -- Larry is doing really, really well, but is going to need more time to recuperate before he gets back into the studio. Thanks for all of your kind comments, support and patience! Rest assured, he IS on the mend!--Larry takes a break from his full-time job of turing off lights in his house to sit down for this week's podcast. We hear about how Larry's alleged coffee pot of death that tries to kill him in the middle of the night. Then Larry talks about almost rear-ending a cop car while trying to read its bumper sticker.Later, a baffling trip to buy a new razor leaves Larry waxing nostalgic for his long, lost safety razor and someone in the studio inadvertently does an impression of Dr. Strangelove. Quote of the week: "To this day, I can't eat plums."

Larry Update and Does Level Six Exist? Apr 25, 2012

Show notes

Another encore presentation as we wait for Larry to heal up! Feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.com.Larry muses hypothetical about the possible existence of a level of drinking above level five! Does it have something to do with fractals or worm holes? Or just a hole in your head? String theorists, take a powder, chumps!We also get a brief history of boy tenors and other vaudeville schtick, a safety razor update and of course, the joke of the week. Stay tuned past the end of the show for a little bonus and visit our show's Facebook page to see a picture of what made Larry react like that -- www.facebook.com/LarryMillerPodcast

Larry Update II (Electric Boogaloo) And Leslie Nielsen, Fart Virtuoso Apr 18, 2012

Show notes

An update on Larry's recouperation and an encore presentation of one of our most beloved episodes! Feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.com.Leslie Nielsen performs a trouser cough symphony for Larry's parents backstage at Letterman.Also, Larry preaches sympathy for a knife salesman who has lost his focus. Spoiler alert -- it's not pretty. Then Larry admits to stepping out on his steady supermarket. And not just to broaden his kids' horizons. All stories guaranteed to be true.This episode is sponsored in part by Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. No, Rowfs.Quote of the week: "If I don't know where things are, I'd be a terrible idiot."

A Larry Update & The Clumsy Coffee Cavalcade Redux Apr 11, 2012

Show notes

A Larry update -- as some of you have already heard our man Larry, stacker of soap, our fearless (and hairless) leader, defender of Pluto and the great updater took a spill last week. He conked the old noggin pretty good and wound up in the hospital. We're giving you a Larry Update at the top of this show. Also, feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.comWe're presenting an (ahem) encore presentation of one of Colonel Jeff Fox's personal favorite episodes, the Clumsy Coffee Cavalcade.Larry spills an impossible number of cups of coffee in an absurdly short period of time. And then almost spills some more. Then he talks about letting his kids grow up and why it's not just OK, it's the right thing to do.And we have yet another... HAMPER UPDATE! Yes, the hamper update was off last week, so hop off your pins and needles and get updated. You won't believe this one! Or you might.Quote of the week: "Don't tip like a gangster."

How To Juggle Hot Wings Apr 04, 2012

Show notes

Larry Miller -- tool maker, stacker of wheat -- opens with a tribute to actor Warren Stevens, then segues into memories of Ricardo Montalban and The Naked Gun. Then he talks about how he's not a hero with hot food, yet he does manage to rescue some hot wings from peril.Is this episode better than pork? You make the call!Quote of the week: "I'm usually unabashed."

Litterbug Larry, Scourge of Springfield Mar 28, 2012

Show notes

Pardon our internet hiccups, Larry does a remote show from the luxury of room 824 of the Sheraton Monarch hotel in Springfield, MA. This week, Larry's beloved macintosh apples get him the hairy eyeball from onlookers who think he's littering when he's actually recycling, or composting, or sharing the core with squirrels. Listen, don't YOU judge, too!Quote of the week: "We're gonna get cabinets made of meat."

Nude Not Descending A Staircase Mar 21, 2012

Show notes

Powered by pickles (delicious McClure's pickles to be exact) Larry launches another poetry-packed, joke-jammed podcast. This week, we hear about what Larry finds so disappointing about "Nude Descending A Staircase." Then he tells us how many times his car keys can be lost in 20 square feet of space, in the span of an hour. (Spolier alert: Marcel Duchamp is blamed for both.) Set your phasers on "mirthful" and tune in to this week's This Week With Larry Miller!Quote of the week: "It's not quite like leafing through a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue."

Larry Gets a Smell Tattoo Mar 14, 2012

Show notes

Larry lifts a line from Leno to explain getting sprayed by a cologne skunk at Macy's -- a smell tattoo. Neither silkwood showers not Irish Spring can liberate Larry from this odious odiferousness.We also hear about Larry watching "Wrath of Khan" with his family and we have a new segment -- the poetry corner! Beatniks and highbrows, rejoice! Plus, Uncle Arnie, from the "Does He Drink Coffee" story sits in the control room during the record!Quote of the week: "I have gone through an Indiana Jones warehouse full of Old Spice."

The Geopolitics of Socks Mar 07, 2012

Show notes

Larry needs a U.N. resolution just to keep his feet warm. Yes, Larry gets into a mental logjam trying to buy some socks. Then he wonders what something is worth if you get it at a discount. Give Larry some credit. No, literally, give him some credit. The battle of the safety razor blade continues. Then Larry pines for macintosh apples (the fruit, not the computer) and waxes nostalgic about Venus Paradise (the coloring set, not the strip joint near the airport).Later, we hear about Washington coming BACK across the Delaware, the little-known (by us) history of the Amazons, why the founding fathers were so high and how much Larry missed Mars. Hint -- completely.And remember, don't trust anyone who watches an odometer.Quote of the week: "They were giving credit cards to terrorists, but I couldn't get one."

Larry's Little White Lie Feb 29, 2012

Show notes

Larry genuinely loves to be wrong. But this week, he loves to be right! That's the truth. Not a little white lie. That comes later, if we can figure out what a white lie exactly is.Three new updates this week! Now with semi-relevant sound effects! Larry goes overboard with the "Burial At Sea Update." Then we get a charge out of the "Dead Battery Update." Finally, he puts the "mental" in "Environmental Update." Curly lightbulbs, watch your back.Quote of the week: "Prisoners get better toilet paper than that."

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