Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Latest Episodes:

Eps 89: Noha Alshugairi Shares About Teaching Positive Discipline and Being a Muslim Apr 25, 2017

Show notes

Today’s guest, Noha Alshugairi, is a “citizen of the world,” a licensed marriage and family therapist who practices in Newport Beach, California and positive discipline trainer. We are discussing positive discipline in the Muslim home. Join us!

“I don’t need to be preaching what Islam says to us in order to be teaching Positive Discipline.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Diversity within the Muslim community (80 groups, with differing faith)
How Muslim teachings align with Positive Discipline principles (building social interest, fostering belonging and contribution, understanding the belief behind the behavior, encouragement, mutual respect, kindness and firmness at the same time, short-term vs long-term and focus on solutions)
How does Islam promote mutual respect?
The concept of obedience as it relates to both Islam and Positive Discipline
Doing the best you can with the tools you have – how excellence at 3 or 4 looks difference than excellence in adolescence
The impacts of hanging onto childhood hurt in adulthood
What non-Muslims are most surprised to learn about Muslim families
Concerns of Muslim parents – how to protect children from Islamophobia & how to build a cultural identity they can be proud of?
Finding peace through focus on your circle of influence and stepping away from victimhood
How to broaden your understanding and support for the Muslim community
Connecting with larger groups as minority group members to move past stereotypes

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Having joy while you are facing life. It’s difficult because life is not smooth sailing.

Resources:

Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Where to find Nosha:

Website – Sakina Counselling

Website – Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home

Facebookl Youtube

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Eps 88: Angela Pruess Supports Gentle Parents with Special Needs Kids Apr 18, 2017

Show notes

Today’s guest is Angela Pruess, a child and family therapist and special needs mom of 3 on a mission to support and empower parents of behaviorally challenging and special needs kids. We are discussing parenting without rewards and punishments. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Gentle parenting defined – intentionality, connection
Attachment theory and gentle parenting
Avoiding slipping into extremes with gentle parenting
Optimal attachment parenting – responsive and nurturing while setting limits and boundaries
How to get perspective when you feel “stuck” in parenting patterns that aren’t working
Focussing on the long view of what values you are wanting to raise your child with
Understanding the “why” behind your child’s behavior – physiologically speaking particularly for special needs kids
Interventions that focus on the root of behavior versus the surface level behaviors
Backing up and zooming out as a practice to respond more effectively to challenging behaviors
Intentionality and mindfulness as parenting techniques to reduce overwhelm in parenting special needs kids
Moving from victimhood and blame to becoming influencers of parenting experiences
Grief in special needs parenting and unpacking those complicated feelings
Techniques for working through tough feelings and heavy thoughts to create space for something different
The need for self-care in special needs parenting, and being mindful about what activities are most helpful
The freedom of self-compassion and intentionality of gratitude
Asking for help: not a sign of weakness, an invitation to community
Lagging skills vs undesirable behavior – learning to focus on the right area to improve outcomes

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Through a parenting with confidence lens, having the courage to boldly walk this path that’s challenging and unexpected, to move forward feeling confident and feeling like you’re giving your child your best self. Also, being able to do so with joy and having this genuine acceptance of our story – who our child is and who we are. They were given to us and we were woven together for a reason. Having courage and finding joy through the struggles and unexpected challenges.

Resources:

Aha parenting website

The Explosive Child – Ross Greene

Positive Discipline for Children With Special Needs

Where to find Angela:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

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World Changer Episode: Leanne Kabat, Head Mama of Mamacon Apr 13, 2017

Show notes

Leanne Kabat is on the show today talking about her vision of a world where mamas come together to love, support and CELEBRATE all parts of themselves!!

Leanne is the Head Mama of Mamacon, an annual conference for moms in the Pacific Northwest. She shares her story, her inspiration, and her desire to connect mamas not only to themselves, but also to each other.

Join us at Mamacon, April 29th from 2-10pm.

Get your tickets here!! BOGO sale is happening through midnight, Friday, April 14. GET ON IT - bring a friend, TREAT yourself!!

Where to follow Leanne and Mamacon:

Website l Facebook l Twitter l Instagram

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Eps 87: Lisa Fuller is on Supporting us With Shame Resilience Apr 11, 2017

Show notes

Today’s guest is Lisa Fuller. Lisa Fuller, M.S.W., Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, Certified Professional Coach and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, has been working with parents since 2005 to help them find joy and moment of peace even in the midst of chaos. Lisa’s a compassionate listener whose committed to empowering parents through Positive Discipline’s common sense principles. Having three children ages 21, 17 and 10, Lisa’s steeped in the challenges and joys of parenting. Lisa also offers one on one coaching for parenting and life! She believes the world is a better place when we—adults and children—strive to treat each other with respect and love.

Today we are talking about developing shame resilience.

“Shame is something that we all have. It’s universal. Every human being experiences shame – those who don’t usually have some significant problems. It’s not a bad thing. That’s one good thing about shame – it means you are a caring human being.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

What is shame and why should we talk about it?
How positive discipline relates to shame
Shame and guilt – what’s the difference? How do they connect to humiliation and embarrassment?
The physical sensations of shame
The individual personal nature of shame
Practicing critical awareness – how to reality check the messages that are driving your shame
The value of having someone to talk through shame with
What makes a good person to talk shame with
How to encourage shame resilience in children
Reducing shame by normalizing experiences
Creating opportunities for belonging
What it means to lead with the message with love
How to connect without trying to fix
Empathy and shame – how to support when you can’t relate to the experience
Cultivating relationships that allow us to speak to our shame
How to show up in your relationships that shows you are a safe place to talk shame
Doing vs Being – their roles in building shame resilience
Personal practices for finding joy within instead of looking to our children to complete us

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Taking risks with heart. The courage is taking the risks and moving ahead and doing it but doing it with your full being. The last couple years I’ve had some very significant deaths in my life and I think in so many ways it’s been a gift – it does highlight joy, the simple joy of being alive and how I’m able to be more grateful that I have this gift of life which isn’t going to last forever. Losing people who are close to us that’s the upside is that we go “Wow, this is temporary, this life, it really is.” I think when we get caught in the swirl of parenting we can ‘beam in’ – these other, bigger issues help us beam out. Joy helps with shame and getting perspective.

Resources:

The Daring Way

Daring Greatly

Monthly Support Group (With Marcillie Smith Boyle and Lisa Fuller)

Where to find Lisa:

Website l Twitter l Facebook l LinkedIn

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Eps 86: Cheryl Erwin Discusses the Challenges and Joy of Single Parenting with Positive Discipline Apr 04, 2017

Show notes

Today’s guest is Cheryl Erwin, a therapist and parenting educator who began teaching parenting after her marriage broke down. We are discussing single parenting today. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

The biggest challenges facing single parenting – finances, housing, misconceptions/stereotypes
Asking for help as a single parent
Making time for special time and relationship building when you’re outnumbered
Using connection to build resilience
Self-care and self-compassion after divorce and separation
Finding joy vs creating joy – finding happy after separation
The blessings and gifts of being a single parent
The two kinds of special time
The power of routine in single parenthood
The value of spontaneity and choosing into lightness
Lessons in delayed gratification, hard work and problem solving
Learning to grow from mistakes
Positive discipline as a single parenting tool
Learning to let go after raising kids as a single parent
Strength that comes from adversity – a gift of single parenthood
Choosing to go high when others go low – child-centered co-parenting
Being honest about co-parenting challenge while still being respectful and giving space for relationships to be maintained
Single parenting by numbers – 70% of American kids spend some of their time in a single parent household
Step parents as blessings to your children
The importance of facilitating communication between parents and children during the other parent’s parenting times

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

To take each day as it comes and look for what’s right about it not what’s wrong with it and to not be afraid of risk – I’ve never been a good risk taker but as a single mom I learned I have to take some. As someone who now travels the world teaching positive discipline I’ve gotten comfortable with getting on planes and flying off to Egypt by myself when I don’t know anybody there and some of the greatest joy and blessings of my life have been when I found the joy and courage to take an appropriate risk. You don’t have to fly to China or Egypt to do that. You can do it right in your own backyard. Certainly the single parents who are listening know that life can be risky on a pretty regular basis and being able to embrace that and learn the skills you need to be able to do that well will bring you joy in your kids, joy in your grandparents and joy in your own life. At the end of it, my son goes off into the horizon and I’m left with my life and what I make of it and I’m trying to do something with my life that I can be proud of and that’s what joyful courage means to me. It’s taken me all of these 60 years to figure that out.

Resources:

Positive Discipline for Single Parents

Where to find Cheryl:

Website l Facebook

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0-5 Mini Summit with Julietta Skoog: The Importance of Self Care Mar 31, 2017

Show notes

Yipee - one more day of the 0-5 Mini Summit with Julietta!! Today Julie and I dig into questions from the community surrounding self care. We KNOW it is important, and yet so many of us struggle to get it in! Listen in as Jules and I discuss chores, having the courage to seek out mental health, and how self care tips that help us keep calm during those epic meltdowns.

Julietta is the cofounder of Sproutable, an online learning experience for parents, focused on development and years 0-5. She has a Masters Degree in School Counseling and Ed.S Degree in School Psychology from Seattle University. As a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, she teaches Positive Discipline parenting classes and provides Positive Discipline trainings for teachers and parent educators.

Julietta led the Seattle Public Schools Childfind preschool assessment screening team from 2007-2014. She is currently the school counselor at Queen Anne Elementary. She is the proud mother of two daughters ages 7 and 4. She understands the parenting challenges as well as the importance of early intervention and child development.

Find more about Sproutable at:

http://www.besproutable.com/ Facebook l Twitter l Instagram

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0-5 Mini Summit with Julietta Skoog: Questions from the community Mar 30, 2017

Show notes

Julietta is BACK ON to dig into the challenges brought to us by the Joyful Courage community. Julietta is the cofounder of Sproutable, an online learning experience for parents, focused on development and years 0-5.

Find Sproutable at:

http://www.besproutable.com/ Facebook l Twitter l Instagram

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0-5 Mini Summit with Julietta Skoog: Development Mar 29, 2017

Show notes

You all know that I love me some Julietta Skoog! She is a dear friend and a WEALTH of information. Julietta is the cofounder of Sproutable, an online learning experience for parents, focused on development and years 0-5.

Julietta has a Masters Degree in School Counseling and Ed.S Degree in School Psychology from Seattle University. As a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, she teaches Positive Discipline parenting classes and provides Positive Discipline trainings for teachers and parent educators. Julietta led the Seattle Public Schools Childfind preschool assessment screening team from 2007-2014. She is currently the school counselor at Queen Anne Elementary. She is the proud mother of two daughters ages 7 and 4. She understands the parenting challenges as well as the importance of early intervention and child development.

Yup. She's amazing.

Listen in to todays show as we break down Eric Ericksons model of psychosocial development and what WE as parents can do to ensure that our children are developing trust, autonomy, initiative and industry during their early years.

Join us tomorrow as Julie and I dig into challenges sent in from the Joyful Courage community.

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Eps 85: Free Range Parenting with Kim Estes Mar 28, 2017

Show notes

Today’s guest is Kim Estes, a speaker and coach who talks to parents of kids from pre-school to adolescents about safety concerns. We are discussing free-range parenting. Join us!

“Our kids are wanting to explore their world and it’s our job to teach them to do it safely.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Misconceptions about free-range parenting
Boundaries in free-range parenting: subject to change based on individual children and age-level
Assessing age and individual capacity specific boundaries – the value of checking in for safety
Free-range parenting as giving kids space to practice intuition
Fear of judgment and free-range parenting
Risk assessment and safety – likelihood of concerns relating to traffic safety and abduction
Assessing risk tolerance as parents
Stranger safety vs Stranger danger
Free-range parenting as freedom within structure
Finding the happy medium: learning new skills with appropriate boundaries
Being consistent about expectations and boundaries
Mistakes as learning experiences – handling situations where things don’t go as planned
Being available and non-judgmental when negotiating boundaries – dropping into curiosity to keep communication lines open
No questions asked, do-overs on both sides and owning failure
Exercising self-compassion and forgiveness when you don’t realize you’re being called to “the big show”

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful courage means to me to be able to parent courageously even if it’s uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, having something that feels good for everybody even if it’s the smallest success.

Where to find Kim:

Website l Facebook l Twitter

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Eps 84: Oh Crap Potty Trainer, Jamie Glowacki Mar 21, 2017

Show notes

Today’s guest is Jamie Glowacki, a social worker who worked with dual diagnosis moms, transitioned to owning a children’s store and then became a potty trainer. We are discussing potty training. Join us!

“I don’t really have a method. You have to take off the diapers.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

The elimination communication movement
Timing of potty training readiness
“Pull-ups” and potty training – mixing old and new behaviors.
Potty training and instant gratification – the role of patience in the process
The myths of potty training
Gender and potty training
The role of social learning and praise
Potty location and using the tool for the task
The influence of Dr. Spock and the history of potty training
Developmental milestones – should they be child-led?
The myth of “readiness” - potty training as a skill that needs to be attended to rather than something that happens naturally in time without intervention
The “magic window” of potty training – prior to individuation
Potty training as a power struggle
“Fear of release” – how to overcome it
Managing expectations around developmental milestones and the danger of comparison
How potty training challenges vary based on the age of the child
Performance anxiety and potty training
The best potty and ergonomic angle for potty training specifically for encouraging poop
How to modify your potty or reposition your child to improve poop likelihood
Rewards and consequences – their role in potty training
Potty training power struggles as relationship challenges
Potty training regressions – change in routines, the honeymoon period
Using blocks of learning to solve regressions
“Baby love” as a tool to help kids adjust to new siblings
Location specific potty training challenges – how to unpack them
Night time training strategies
Developmental phases of bladder development