It’s Not About the Alcohol

Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by about 80 percent? Become the version of you who can just “take it or leave it” so that you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you’re by yourself?

Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower–or worse, the incurable disease of “alcoholism.” So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control.

Whether you’re a daily drinker who can’t break the habit, or you’re still going to sobriety meetings even though you don’t drink anymore, the real problem is that you don’t trust yourself.

Which means it’s not about the alcohol. It’s about your relationship with yourself.

Colleen Freeland is a a mindful drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible.

The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease!

Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body.

Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don’t drink themselves into a stupor.

Latest Episodes:

EP177 Minisode: Becoming the master of your own attention and focus Feb 22, 2025

Show notes

In today's episode, Colleen shares a real-life moment of emotional sobriety in action—how a simple email first thing in the morning nearly hijacked her day and how she stopped the stress spiral before it took over. She explains the power of noticing sensations in your body before they trigger habitual reactions and how shifting your focus can change how you experience stress, time, and even your relationship with alcohol.

Key Takeaways: Your Body Feels Before Your Mind Reacts

Stress is often triggered by habits and thought loops, not real urgency.
Your body sends signals (tightness, urgency, restlessness), but they don't mean you have to act on them.
Learning to pause and assess before reacting gives you control over how you respond.

Not Every Thought Deserves Your Attention

Just because a thought feels urgent doesn't mean it is.
Your mind follows patterns—it sees stress, assumes a problem, and wants to fix it.
But your body doesn't have an agenda—it's just experiencing sensations.

How Emotional Sobriety Breaks the Stress-React Cycle

Catch yourself before stress takes over by tuning into your body.
Ask: "Is this actually urgent, or am I just reacting?"
The more you notice and interrupt old patterns, the less control stress (and alcohol) has over you.

Actionable Steps: Step 1: Notice When Your Body Feels Tense or Rushed

Pay attention to tightness, stress, or urgency in your body before reacting.
Instead of jumping to fix the "problem," pause and check if it actually needs attention.

Step 2: Separate Sensation from Thought

When you feel triggered, ask yourself: "What is my body actually telling me?"
Recognize that not every emotion requires an immediate action.

Step 3: Shift Your Focus to What Really Matters

Before reacting, ask: "Is this how I want to start my day?"
Direct your attention toward what's actually important, not just what feels urgent.

Homework:

Next time you feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed, pause and check in with your body before reacting. Ask yourself:

"Is this actually urgent, or just my body reacting?"

"What would happen if I waited before responding?"

Start noticing how much more peaceful and in control you feel when you don't immediately react to stress.

Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. If you're ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober (side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking),You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP176 Minisode: You are the creator of time Feb 20, 2025

Show notes

In today's episode, Colleen reveals a surprising connection between your perception of time and your drinking habits. If you constantly feel rushed, overwhelmed, or like there's never enough time, your brain is likely using alcohol as an off-switch. But here's the real shift—your relationship with time, not alcohol, is the problem.

Discover how changing the way you think about time can reduce your stress, eliminate the urge to overdrink, and help you feel more in control of your life. Colleen shares powerful mindset shifts and actionable steps to reclaim your time (and your peace) so that drinking naturally becomes a choice instead of a coping mechanism.

Key Takeaways: Your Relationship with Time is a Habit, Not a Reality

The belief that you "never have enough time" is just that—a belief.
Your thoughts about time create the stress, not the actual amount of time you have.
Learning to feel in control of your time changes how you feel about yourself, your schedule, and even your drinking habits.

The Rush-Stress-Drink Cycle

Feeling rushed and overwhelmed activates your nervous system's stress response.
When your brain is in constant "go, go, go" mode, it craves a way to turn off.
If alcohol is your only off-switch, your drinking will always feel out of control.

The Hidden Ways Time Perception Affects Drinking

You swing between feeling rushed (not enough time) and feeling bored (too much time).
The thought "I don't have time for myself" keeps you in a stress loop.
Alcohol temporarily gives you the relief you're not giving yourself throughout the day.

Actionable Steps: Step 1: Stop Complaining About Time for 24 Hours

Pay attention to how often you say or think, "I don't have enough time."
Instead, introduce the mantra: "I create my own time."
Every time you catch yourself feeling rushed, pause and take a deep breath.

Step 2: Shift Your Identity Around Time

Instead of seeing yourself as a victim of time, become the person who owns their time.
Example: Instead of "I'm too busy," shift to "I prioritize what matters most."
Small changes like sitting down for one mindful meal or taking a full breath before responding to emails can rewire your sense of control.

Step 3: Notice How This Changes Your Drinking

When you feel less rushed, your nervous system doesn't need alcohol to slow down.
When you feel more present, you naturally drink more mindfully.
If drinking has been your escape from feeling overwhelmed, this practice removes the need to escape in the first place.

Homework:

For the next 24 hours, track every time you tell yourself you "don't have enough time." Replace that thought with: "I create my own time." Then, notice if your drinking feels less urgent or impulsive when you feel more in control of your day.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP175 Escape the shame spiral: a new approach to drinking less with Ella Lucas Averett Feb 18, 2025

Show notes

What if the secret to drinking less has nothing to do with willpower?

If you've noticed that you tend to boomerang back into old habits after a successful period of sobriety or moderation, you're not crazy.

But the problem is not the return of an old habit or unwanted behavior. It's how you respond to yourself when you make a mistake.

The change you need to make is to start learning from your setbacks instead of just trying to avoid them. And the only habit you really need to break is relying on shame, guilt and fear to motivate yourself in good behavior.

This episode is an interview I did with Ella Lucas Averette on her show, On Air with Ella. You'll learn:

Addiction and dependency are more mental than physical…caused by the belief that you need alcohol to relax and that you can't stop once you start
How to shift your focus from drinking less to feeling better so that you no longer have any desire to numb or dumb yourself with alcohol
How to feed your brain evidence that reinforces your ability to trust yourself instead of using mistakes to prove something is wrong with you
Why the side effect of committing to your own happiness is a natural and effortless reduction in alcohol consumption.

—Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL if you're ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober. Side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking. You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.

Click here to get my free PRIVATE podcast on How to Reduce Drinking by 80%.

—NEW! Colleen's doing Q&A episodes! Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer and YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@hangoverwhisperer

–Click here to take the QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP174 Minisode: Stop working on yourself- you're not broken Feb 15, 2025

Show notes

In today's episode, Colleen explores a common challenge: the struggle to maintain consistent effort in self-care and personal growth. She uncovers the hidden beliefs that might be driving resistance and shares how shifting your motivation—from fixing yourself to gifting yourself—can transform your relationship with self-care. Learn how to reconnect with your future self, reframe your mindset, and take actions that feel like a gift rather than a chore.

Key Takeaways:

The Truth About Resistance:
- Resistance to self-care often stems from subconscious beliefs that you need to "fix" yourself.
- Shame-driven motivation triggers your brain's habenula, putting the brakes on your energy and motivation.
Reframe Self-Care as a Gift:
- Think of self-care as a way to set your future self up for success, not as a punishment for being "broken."
- Actions taken with the intention to benefit your future self feel more rewarding and are easier to sustain.
Performance vs. Iterative Mindset:
- Shift from a performance-driven mindset (judging yourself by today's productivity) to an iterative mindset (learning from yesterday's results to create better outcomes).
- Celebrate progress and focus on creating strategies that align with your goals and intentions.
Curiosity Over Judgment:
- When you feel resistance, pause and get curious about the story you're telling yourself.
- Resistance may reveal an action that's misaligned with your true needs or a belief rooted in shame.

Actionable Steps:

Notice the Story:
- Pay attention to the thoughts and beliefs that arise when you feel resistance to self-care or personal growth.
- Ask yourself: What story am I telling myself about why I have to do this?
Reframe the Action:
- Shift your mindset to see self-care as a gift to your future self.
- For example, "I'm doing this now to make tomorrow easier and more enjoyable for me."
Practice Intentional Choices:
- Pause before acting and ask, "Does this action align with where I want to be and how I want to feel?"
- If not, adjust your actions or remove them from your to-do list.
Reflect and Realign:
- Take time to evaluate whether your actions are motivated by self-criticism or self-love.
- Reorganize your priorities to focus on actions that genuinely serve you.

Homework: Identify one self-care action that feels difficult or unmotivating and reframe it as a gift to your future self. Practice gratitude toward yourself for taking that action, and notice how it shifts your motivation and energy.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP173 Minisode: What type of person are you? Feb 13, 2025

Show notes

In today's episode, Colleen reveals a powerful strategy for creating lasting change by shifting your identity instead of relying on willpower or discipline. Discover how embracing the mindset of "I'm the type of person who…" can naturally align your behaviors with your goals, without the exhausting cycle of self-criticism or perfectionism. Colleen shares practical steps to practice being the version of yourself you aspire to become, one small, mindful step at a time.

Key Takeaways:

Willpower vs. Identity-Based Change:
- Relying on willpower to change behaviors is unsustainable and creates a yo-yo cycle of self-defeat.
- Instead, focus on becoming the type of person for whom the desired behavior feels natural and effortless.
Upgrade Your Identity:
- Change begins with deciding who you want to be. Use the phrase "I'm the type of person who…" to define and practice embodying your desired identity.
- Motivation is fueled by progress. As you practice small changes aligned with your new identity, you build evidence that reinforces your belief in yourself.
Start Small and Celebrate Progress:
- You don't need to overhaul your life overnight. Move the needle in small, manageable ways.
- Notice and acknowledge every win, no matter how small, to keep your momentum and strengthen your commitment to change.
Anchor Your Motivation in Who You Are:
- Align your choices with the type of person you aspire to be, rather than focusing on the behavior you're trying to eliminate.
- For example, Colleen's motivation to drink less isn't about avoiding alcohol but about staying true to her identity as a confident, clear, and connected person.

Actionable Steps:

Adopt the Phrase:
- Fill in the blank: "I'm the type of person who…"
- Choose a statement that reflects the identity you want to build, such as "I'm the type of person who prioritizes my well-being" or "I'm the type of person who makes time for rest and reflection."
Practice Being Her:
- Take small, consistent actions that align with your desired identity.
- For example, if you're the type of person who values mornings, set a goal to enjoy a mindful morning ritual, like watering your plants or journaling.
Celebrate Your Wins:
- Notice and congratulate yourself on the progress you make.
- When you take an action that aligns with your new identity, pause to acknowledge it: "I'm proud of myself for showing up as the person I want to be."
Make It Fun and Public:
- Share your identity-based goals with others. Casually weave "I'm the type of person who…" into conversations as a playful way to reinforce your new mindset.

Homework: Write down one identity-based goal using the phrase "I'm the type of person who…" Post it somewhere visible and reflect on it daily. Track small wins that align with this identity and notice how your motivation and habits shift over time.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP172 Here's why your drinking habits aren't changing as fast as you want Feb 11, 2025

Show notes

If the reason you want to drink less is because you're afraid of future health problems, you'll likely find it hard to change your habits.

Thinking you "should be" drinking less is what makes alcohol use disorder a thinking problem, not a drinking problem.

Because if it's true that you "should be" drinking less, and yet you're still drinking too much, then something must be wrong. And the more you look for evidence that something is wrong, the more you find, the worse you feel and the harder it gets to keep trying.

In this episode, I'll break down the exact process I teach my clients when they're not seeing measurable improvements in how much or how often they drink.

You'll walk away with a clear understanding as to why it is so important to respond to your own drinking habits with self-encouragement and curiosity instead of disappointment and frustration.

Because the only way to stop repeating your drinking mistakes is to start learning from them.

Click here to get my free PRIVATE podcast on How to Reduce Drinking by 80%.

—NEW! Colleen's doing Q&A episodes! Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer and YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@hangoverwhisperer

–Click here to take the QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP171 Minisode: Uncovering deeply rooted limiting beliefs Feb 08, 2025

Show notes

In today's episode, Colleen introduces a transformative exercise to uncover the deeply rooted beliefs that might be holding you back from achieving your goals around alcohol. Learn how to identify these limiting thoughts, challenge their validity, and replace them with empowering beliefs that align with the identity you want to build. This episode is a must-listen for high-achieving women who are ready to break free from shame-based narratives and create lasting, identity-based change.

Key Takeaways:

Beliefs Are Thoughts You No Longer Question:
- Many limiting beliefs feel true simply because they are habitual thoughts you've practiced over time.
- These beliefs often stem from subconscious narratives about who you think you are.
Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs:
- Think of someone you admire for their relationship with alcohol and ask yourself: What do you believe about them that makes them capable?
- Use this reflection to identify the gap between their identity and your current beliefs about yourself.
- Instead of asking "Why am I like this?"—which reinforces the limiting belief—shift to asking, "In what context is this belief not true about me?"
Rewriting the Narrative:
- Find a context where the limiting belief doesn't apply, or borrow empowering beliefs from your role model.
- Create a replacement belief that feels true for you and practice thinking it consistently.
- Remember: Your feelings are a direct result of your thoughts. By changing your thoughts, you change how you feel and behave.

Actionable Steps:

Reflect on a Role Model:
- Identify someone whose relationship with alcohol you admire. Write down the beliefs you think they hold about themselves.
Uncover Your Story:
- List the limiting beliefs you have about yourself that might be creating a gap. Identify one belief that feels the most true and painful.
Challenge and Replace:
- Find an instance where this belief doesn't hold true or borrow a belief from your role model. Create a new belief that feels authentic and achievable.
- Practice replacing the limiting belief with this new thought every time it arises.
Monitor Your Progress:
- Track moments when you successfully challenge old beliefs and celebrate small wins. This builds motivation and reinforces the new identity you're cultivating.

Homework: Identify one limiting belief about yourself related to alcohol and replace it with a new, empowering thought. Write it down, and each time the old belief surfaces, consciously replace it with the new one. Over time, watch as your mindset and behavior begin to shift.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP170 Minisode: Try some crazy talk today Feb 06, 2025

Show notes

In today's episode, Colleen challenges you to radically shift how you dialogue with yourself by treating yourself as a trusted friend and cherished companion. Discover how identity-based change starts with the way you talk to yourself and how this simple practice can crowd out negative self-talk, foster self-respect, and lead to lasting transformation.

Key Takeaways:

Thoughts and Identity:
- Your thoughts are powerful and habitual, shaping your identity and influencing your ability to change.
- Behavior-based change—trying to prove your worth through actions—often fails because it conflicts with how you see yourself.
- Identity-based change is rooted in deciding who you want to be and practicing that identity through small, consistent actions.
The Power of Self-Talk:
- People with a growth mindset tell themselves better stories and respect the main character of their story—themselves.
- By consciously shifting your inner dialogue to focus on trust, gratitude, and encouragement, you can build a positive relationship with yourself.
Creating a New Habit of Supportive Self-Talk:
- Speak to yourself as though you are your best friend or most important responsibility.
- Acknowledge and thank yourself for small acts of care throughout the day, like making your bed, preparing a meal, or taking a break.
- Reframe challenges as opportunities to support yourself and build trust in your ability to handle life's obstacles.

Action Steps:

Decide Who You Want to Be:
- Choose the thoughts and identity you want to cultivate.
Practice Supportive Self-Talk:
- Talk to yourself in the third person or second person (e.g., "Colleen needs a walk right now to reset her day").
- Acknowledge and thank yourself for the small ways you show up for yourself every day.
Build the Habit Gradually:
- Celebrate your wins, even partial ones, and let positive self-talk become a natural part of your inner narrative.
- Notice and interrupt negative self-talk when it arises, and replace it with trust-building affirmations.

Homework: Throughout the day, speak to yourself in the third person and notice how it feels. For every action you take, remind yourself of how you're working hard on your own behalf, and follow it up with gratitude and encouragement. Reflect on how this shift in self-talk impacts your mood, motivation, and sense of self.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP169 How to change your all-or-nothing relationship with alcohol with Kathi Rueter of Do Life Big Feb 04, 2025

Show notes

Does your all-or-nothing attitude towards alcohol make you feel like you have multiple personality disorder?

Thinking you have to choose between partying like a rockstar and staying completely sober triggers a battle between your inner rebel and inner responsible grown up.

You're stuck in hostage negotiations listening to your inner lawyers debate topics like, "is my drinking really that bad?" and "stupid reasons why I can't stop once I start."

The idea of changing feels complicated and hard because it seems to require huge, life altering commitments and epic levels of motivation.

Which means, you are way overthinking this, my friend.

This episode is an interview I did on the Do Life Big podcast with my friend Kathi Reuter. You'll hear the simple mindset shifts that I teach (and use myself) to challenge the all-or-nothing thinking that causes overdrinking so that you can feel happy, healthy and balanced in your brain.

Listen to the Do Life Big podcast with Kathi Reuter. Find her find @katherinereuter on Instagram and checkout her website at https://kathireuter.com/

—NEW! Colleen's doing Q&A episodes! Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer and YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@hangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

EP168 Minisode: Why haven't I been reading? Feb 01, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, Colleen shares how our habitual thoughts are often attempts to solve emotional problems and regulate our nervous systems. She dives into her own experience of stress-induced burnout, driven by hyper-focus on business analytics, and the creative stagnation it caused. By recognizing these patterns, Colleen highlights how to reset with small, intentional habits that prioritize self-care and help you regain balance and creativity.

Key Takeaways:

Thoughts as Habits:
- Most of our thoughts are habitual patterns developed to solve emotional discomfort.
- Your brain is constantly seeking control and certainty, often at the expense of creativity and emotional balance.
The Brain's Narrative:
- Thought processes aim to regulate your nervous system by telling a story that makes you feel safe.
- These narratives, while comforting, can sometimes keep you in a stress loop.
Burnout and Creativity:
- Chronic stress, often self-inflicted by overworking or overthinking, depletes creativity and leaves you feeling stuck.
- Small habits like reading, exercise, or mindfulness breaks can help shift you into a more relaxed and creative state.
Breaking the Cycle:
- Identify the problem your brain is trying to solve and examine the emotion driving it.
- Ask yourself, "Is this thought process leading to a regulated nervous system, or is it just a hamster wheel?"
- Reintroduce simple, grounding habits that support balance and mental clarity.

Action Steps:

Pause and Reflect: Notice your thought patterns and ask, "What emotional need is my brain trying to solve?"
Interrupt the Hamster Wheel:
- Step outside the loop of habitual thinking and assess whether your current actions are helping or hindering your emotional well-being.
Start Small:
- Set a micro-goal to reintroduce a habit that supports creativity and calm, like reading for 10 minutes, taking a phone-free break, or practicing deep breathing.
Be Patient:
- Building new habits takes time. Celebrate small wins and trust that your efforts will compound over time.

Homework: Notice a habitual thought process or pattern that keeps you stuck or stressed. Reflect on the emotion driving it and ask yourself if there's a better way to meet that need. Experiment with a small, intentional habit that redirects your focus and supports a more regulated nervous system.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

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