Intimate Interactions

Latest Episodes:

A Mom Talks Metamours and Raising Siblings without Rivalry (Robin Beatch) Aug 30, 2022

Show notes

Today, Robin Beach from sexwithrobin.com talks metamours. She’s a sex educator, radio host, former stripper, former dominatrix, and current mom. How do you relate to the partners of your partners? Is it like sibling rivalry? What does it mean if love is unlimited but time isn’t?

ADHD Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Hacks (Rage Hell) Aug 13, 2022

Show notes

As a twice diagnosed ADHD person, I adopt the social model of disability where rather than see a person as disabled for having a different human experience, I view the centering of certain types of people in society and the construction of society around that supposedly ideal person to be the thing that is disabling. ADHD can cause horrific executive dysfunction and can absolutely be a detriment, especially when you consider Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, a deeply upsetting experience similar to social anxiety. This is to say nothing of the actual social stigma. So there’s the social piece: there’s social stigma around having ADHD. According to WebMD, children with ADHD receive about 20,000 additional negative messages about themselves, something sure to impact self esteem. It’s no surprise then that embarrassment and rejection sensitive dysphoria happen.

Today we’ll be talking with someone who does not have ADHD as I figured it would be a better introduction on the topic than two people with ADHD though that episode is surely coming. Thanks for seeing me and being with me along for my journey of self discovery here on Intimate Interactions.

Why Non Sexual Consent Matters (Sar Surmick) Aug 06, 2022

Show notes

When you’re not talking about sex, how do you negotiate consent? Why is talking about how we make agreements a useful thing to do? Former director of the Consent Academy in Seattle and current marriage and family counsellor Sar Surmick joins us today to chat about this and more. If consent is important to you, let’s talk about it. If it isn’t important to you, it might be worth reflecting on why. Do you feel like you’ve mastered consent for your purposes? You totally might have the skills you need to get by or even thrive. I would encourage you to ask what a deeper understanding might gift you or your relationships. Content warning for brief mention of the damage nonconsent can do.

Reinventing Yourself (Rage Hell) Jul 23, 2022

Show notes

Reinventing oneself is no simple process. Ragehell has done it a few times. Today we chat about self deprecation and self sabotage but also self reassurance, cuddling, group massage, and the supports that often help with reinvention. Ragehell also was highly motivated to reinvent herself each time, and finding a deep sense of why you’re doing it can help a lot.

While there are episodes coming up about psychedelics and the use of them to encourage reinvention, I wanted to record some drug free episodes to talk about doing it manually, a very possible and in my experience very rewarding way to go about it.

Let’s let Ragehell tell us herself here on Intimate Interactions.

How Rollerderby Saved My Soul (Rage Hell) Jul 09, 2022

Show notes

Rage Hell is here to talk to us about facing fears, living your life, practicing comfort with discomfort, embracing awkwardness, supporting each other, and playing roller derby. Lots about roller derby. I’ve been peripherally familiar with roller derby as I have a friend on a national team, but do my best to let Ragehell tell the story here on Intimate Interactions.

Survival Mode Man and Trauma Bonding (William) Jun 25, 2022

Show notes

Emotional labour and blindness are two important topics when discussing how men find themselves after lifetimes of being subjected to toxic masculinity. Whether we owe our fathers, mothers, or societies isn’t really the point. Given how high suicide rates are among men, the need for more of a nurturance culture for men and breaking the silence around mental illness is great. Today I chat with my cishet friend William who discusses emotional labour and how it is gendered in heterosexual relationships. We talk about shame, defensiveness, and cultivating a language of emotions. We talk about gratitude and the debt we owe to women who have done emotional labour for us in our lives.
Content warning for parental abuse, especially fearing a parent, and people socialized as women putting up with people socialized as men as we slowly learn basic lessons we probably should have learned in childhood. If you’ve ever dated a person socialized as a man and that person felt like you were more of a parent than an equal… well I can’t apologize for anyone other than myself, but to the folks I dated from 17 through…maybe 34? Through the rest of my life as I continue to recover? To the folks I’ve dated who have done disproportionate emotional labour for me, I will do better. I’m sorry. And thank you so much.

Revelations and Silence (William) Jun 11, 2022

Show notes

William chats today about sleep-walking through life. We discuss his separation from his wife, the need of purpose or meaning in life, confronting fear, how we spend the time of our lives, mindfulness, and ptsd. Content warning for near death experiences, and if relevant to you, two assigned-male-at-birth people talking about toxic masculinity.

Getting Back on Track after COVID with Lisa Tamati Jun 04, 2022

Show notes

What does health and wellness look like if you’re trying to just get your body moving again after a long period of being sedentary? Many of us post COVID-19 vaccination are grappling with the cost of life-saving inactivity? Well, we’re fortunate to have Lisa Tamati back, our Maori ultramarathoner extraordinaire. You don’t have to run the equivalent of the circumference of the Earth more than once through over 140 ultramarathons like she has to understand that human fight between wanting to give up and practicing a small victory of resilience. Today Lisa discusses protecting your mindset while recounting a mountain pass marathon that awed me.

If you haven’t checked out her book Relentless yet, you can find it on her website at lisatamati.com. She also has a great podcast out, Pushing The Limits, where you can listen to experts discuss tips and strategies from elite performers to you.

Remember to resource yourself for this conversation. Pandemics, depression, and sedentary lifestyles are intermingled for a lot of us right now. It may seem insurmountable to start back into caring for your body, but I promise you it’s very possible. Little victories, friends. I feel like a long time ago, Lisa made the world decide to either get on board with her vision of herself or to get out of her way; but that kind of victory doesn’t happen overnight. I encourage you to frame it more as “if Lisa can make it through that mountain pass, I can get 5000 steps today,” even if it feels impossible. No matter how you use the content, I’m proud to present Lisa Tamati, here on Intimate Interactions.

Dysfunctional Coping, Reframing, and Self Support (William) May 28, 2022

Show notes

Today, I continue my conversation with William. If you recall, he’s the cishet man who had a near death experience forcing him to confront addiction and other dysfunctional coping. We chat about intellectualizing feelings as a form of avoiding feeling them, inner child therapy, reconciling with parents, our stories we tell ourselves about our lives, reframing, and the role family plays for us now.

An Ultramarathoner Discusses Lessons in Life and Mindset (Lisa Tamati) May 21, 2022

Show notes

Lisa Tamati, our Maori ultramarathoner friend who has competed in somewhere around 140 marathons, is back to chat with us about doing the impossible. A mistress of mindset, Lisa chats with us about belief - belief ourselves, but also in people who believe in us. With the feats of stamina and endurance she’s achieved in her life, I can think of few better qualified to speak on the topic. Also plenty of companies and elite athletes pay her for coaching so she probably knows what she’s talking about.

Lisa’s book Relentless goes into more detail if one session leaves you wanting more. You can pick it up on her website at lisatamati.com. You can also get her podcast for free, Pushing The Limits, everywhere podcasts are found. Have a listen! She’s quite good! Wait - let me channel my inner LeVar Burton: but don’t take my word for it - decide for yourself here on Intimate Interactions.

Pushing The Limits (Podcast)
https://lisatamati.com (“Relentless” book)

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