Stay Connected“I am deeply appreciative of everything Michael shares from personal experience. To me, it is the most reassuring and helpful of all.” A listener.
Conversations about love wrapped in stories from my biggest failures. Learn with me the best ways to be kind when your spouse, kids, parents, siblings, and friends are being turds!
Copyright: © Smalley Institute Copyright 2018 All rights reserved.
'From then on Jesus began to preach, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.”' Matthew 4:17 A true disciple is not first a learner or reader of his words. You are a doer. In v19 Jesus says, “Come follow me”. The first command of Jesus’ public ministry was, “repent”. Jesus wants an inward change because nothing else will stick if you don’t first address YOUYour actions need to be immediate v20 “Immediately they left their nets and followed him.”A friend’s wife was giving a sermon where she shared this same advice, because it’s what she did. Drugs, alcohol, miserable. Meets a janitor at the church who tells her to repent and go and tell everyone that she now believes in Jesus.Repent is “to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life.”
The transformational power of Jesus’ words John 14:23 "Jesus replied,“All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them.” John 14:23 If you really love Jesus, you’ll do what he says! Get to know his commands All his commands are either about loving God or loving others. “The first thing to notice is that loving Jesus is not the same as keeping his commandments. It precedes and gives rise to keeping the commandments. Keeping his word is the result of loving him, not the same as loving him.” John Piper Love is the root, obedience is the fruit. God responds to our love and loves with a unique, personal, intimate, affectionate, caring, committed love that belongs only to those who love his Son. We get the Holy Spirit We get Jesus. He will give us what orphans need: they need protection and provision and guidance. So how does this transform your marriage? When you feel lost, you’ve got the Holy Spirit “Therefore, love him. Keep his sweet commandments to receive him and abide in him. Overflow with his fullness for others in love. And he will come to you, and the Holy Spirit will come and the Father will come, and they will protect you and provide for you and lead you — you won’t be an orphan. And they will comfort you, and love you in a very personal way the world does not know, and they will manifest Jesus to you, and make you their home.” John Piper
Great relationships have grit: Passion and Perseverance GRIT: firmness of character; indomitable spirit; pluck (dictionary.com) Passion an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. strong and barely controllable emotion. a thing arousing enthusiasm. the suffering and death of Jesus. Perseverance steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. other words for perseverance: persistence, tenacity, determination, staying power, steadfastness, purposefulness… What does this mean for your relationship? Everything!
'Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. Ephesians 5:1-2 MSG What is your dream statement To honor God and others by relentlessly pursuing authentic relationships, valuing hospitality, self-awareness, diversity, adventure, joy and freedom in Christ. Validate each other’s dreams Your official Dream Statement should be a healthy combination of both your desires. Matthew 7:12 “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Ask what we can do to further develop and encourage each other’s dreams. What do you think would be the best way for us to pursue authentic relationships? What kind of adventure would be fun or exciting for you? Decide on a win/win for your statement
Without a clear and defined purpose (which we will from now on refer to as your DREAM) how can you expect your marriage to be all it can be? If you do not know where you are headed together as a couple, or what kind of legacy you want to leave through your children and moments of your marriage, then how can you expect to truly enjoy your marriage. Spending day after day in a bottomless pit of indecision, confusion, and lack of a dream will (or already has) take a huge toll on your marriage happiness and enjoyment. “A man without a vision is a man without a future. A man without a future will always return to his past.” (P.K. Bernard) “With a clear vision of what we can become in Christ, no ocean of difficulty is too great. Without it, we rarely move beyond our current boundaries.” Lynn Anderson, “They Smell Like Sheep: Spiritual Leadership for the 21st Century” Psalms 20:4 “May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.” “Vision is the bridge between the present and the future. Without it we perish or go “unrestrained,” as the New American Standard Bible puts it. Vision gives pain a purpose. Those without vision spend their lives taking the path of least resistance as they try to avoid discomfort. The level of sacrifice that a vision requires will determine the size of people who follow. Sacrifice separates the small from the great.” Kris Vallotton Our DREAM statement To honor God and others by relentlessly pursuing authentic relationships, valuing hospitality, self-awareness, diversity, adventure, joy and freedom in Christ.
Tim and Nancy's story should inspire anyone about what it takes to stay committed to each other through "sickness and in health"! Tim wrote: Since 1979 I have lived with the consequences of a brain-based mental health challenge called bipolar disorder. Through these years I have experienced episodes of extreme mania, protracted periods of dark depression, as well as eruptions of psychosis. Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, a leading authority and herself a diagnosed bipolar, clearly expresses the effects of this brain disorder in her book, “Touched with Fire.” She wrote that bipolar illness “encompasses the extremes of human experience. Thinking can range from florid psychosis, or ‘madness,’ to patterns of unusually clear, fast, and creative associations, to retardation [slowing down] so profound that no meaningful activity can occur.”* This very succinctly and accurately describes how I have often experienced bipolar disorder. Hear their story through this special interview and learn how to "reflect the compassion of Jesus Christ to those with mental health concerns".
Relentless Community Hebrews 10:23-25 “23 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. 24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Live your life each day with a purpose, to stir one another to acts of love and good works. Why do you wake up each day? If you don’t ask yourself this question, you are purposeless which is like lifelessness. Community isn’t a story, it’s an experience and filled with story after story after story. It’s why I came here for my surgery. I knew I would be Loved Not judged Encouraged Filled with hope God’s plan for your life is to wake up each day and… Choose hope (v23) Because he is a promise keeper, and there is nothing we need to fear But this isn’t the kind of hope you sit on, your hope should stir you up to act, and guess what God wants you to do with this hope? Stir up each other to love and good worksConsider each other
Relentless Grace No matter how far you run away or how disobedient you are, God still loves you and bathes you with His unending grace Phillip Holmes wrote, “He’s not ignorant of all the ways we’ve sinned against him. He knows everything we’ve ever done and is able to stomach it. His knowledge of who we really are will never hinder his love for us. He’s even aware of the evil behind our righteous deeds. The intimacy by which the Lord knows us but is able to lovingly embrace us as his children is supernatural. God’s grace is mind-blowing. Every time I think of this reality, I’m brought to tears because I serve a God whose love and grace baffle me.” https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/gods-grace-is-mind-blowing I blatantly rejected the voice of the Holy Spirit Heaviest - 138 kilograms I’ve lost 18 kilograms in three weeks No pain, no recovery, no problems of any kind! Joel 2:12-14 'But there’s also this, it’s not too late— God ’s personal Message!— “Come back to me and really mean it! Come fasting and weeping, sorry for your sins!” Change your life, not just your clothes. Come back to God, your God. And here’s why: God is kind and merciful.He takes a deep breath, puts up with a lot, This most patient God, extravagant in love, always ready to cancel catastrophe. Who knows? Maybe he’ll do it now, maybe he’ll turn around and show pity. Maybe, when all’s said and done, there’ll be blessings full and robust for your God! God’s pleasure is to give you the Kingdom!
Today we are talking about sex, possibly one of the greatest gifts outside of eternal life God ever gave humankind! To help us with this conversation, Dave Willis of strongermarriages.com, is going to lend his expertise...and trust me, this guy has millions of readers, likes, and more. Coming up next we talk about the 4 things every couple needs to know about sex. About Dave and Ashley Willis (www.strongermarriages.com) Almost 1 million likes on their Facebook page!https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriages/Millions of readers on their blogPastor at Stevens Creek Church near Augusta, GeorgiaAuthors of The 7 Day Marriage Challenge (Husband edition and Wife edition)4 things every couple needs to know about sex Where do you come up with all this great content? Who was your inspiration to get into marriage ministry? What’s the worst fight you and Ashley have had? Most MEN see sex as a form of stress relief while most WOMEN need stress relief BEFORE they can be in mindset to make love.Deeper TRANSPARENCY outside the bedroom leads to deeper INTIMACY inside the bedroom.Keep your FANTASIES focused on each other. Don’t just be PHYSICALLY monogamous; be MENTALLY monogamous too.Don’t forget to have FUN!
The health of your emotional relationship If you don’t feel loved, you don’t want to show love The specific things you are doing to kill your sexual intimacy Invalidation How you respond to your spouse matters. Lack of affirmation Negative beliefs Here’s how you eliminate them Invalidation Start to validate each other Empathize Lack of affirmation Make a list of what you appreciate about your spouse (you can do this on our app) Don’t wait till you feel like affirming your spouse, do it because it is the right thing to do. Your spouse isn’t pure evil! Negative beliefs Ask questions Assume the best instead of the worst all the time Each one of these fixes takes important choices. Stop acting like a victim and do the right thing regardless of whether your spouse deserves it.
Our TOPPODCAST Picks 
