Stay Connected“I am deeply appreciative of everything Michael shares from personal experience. To me, it is the most reassuring and helpful of all.” A listener.
Conversations about love wrapped in stories from my biggest failures. Learn with me the best ways to be kind when your spouse, kids, parents, siblings, and friends are being turds!
Copyright: © Smalley Institute Copyright 2018 All rights reserved.
“No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.” John 14:18 In this statement Jesus is assuring his freaked out disciples during the last supper. For the Jews, they often compared a Rabbi to a father and if a disciple’s Rabbi died they would compare themselves to orphans. “A commitment to an ongoing relationship and to the attitude and behaviour demanded by it. It is evident in human relationships and also in the covenant relationship between God and his people.” (Martin Manser) God keeps his promises, which is the example to follow. “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23 “Praise the LORD who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses.” 1 Kings 8:56 How does Jesus want you to treat others? Ruth 1:16-17 “But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” Never quit. Stay committed. Regardless of their behavior. People don’t have to earn your love and devotion. Boundaries are still ok Being honored is still ok Being friends is different than being committed Be careful not to complain about this, because as a disciple of Jesus you are constantly called to be like him and do what he did. What does it take to never quit Endurance Patience Faith - anything is possible...even a miracle!
“I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!” John 15:11 Remember how we’ve talked about one of the results of abiding in Jesus and obeying his commands is joy? The fruit of the true disciple is joy, and frankly, no matter what. Jesus wants you to treat others just like he treats you. It’s what shows people around you that you’re a true disciple of Jesus. The bible uses the word here for joy in two ways. It can either be in feeling or in action. You are expressing a positive intention about a past or future action/event... Even how we remember can be covered in joy if we remain in Jesus. And most certainly how we plan to act on some offense in the future matters to Jesus. How does Jesus want you to love others… Be filled with JOY, no matter what. Two things stood out to me in trying to understand this statement: Be joy, in your actions, thoughts and attitude. That kind of freedom is the result of loving Jesus. Expect joy, treat others in joy because you know that whatever is happening will change and be redeemed somehow by Jesus. Is 51:11 Those who have been ransomed by the LORD will return. They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting joy. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness. Isaiah 41:28 I will open up rivers for them on the high plateaus. I will give them fountains of water in the valleys. I will fill the desert with pools of water. Rivers fed by springs will flow across the parched ground. Isaiah 55:12 You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! John 7:38 Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’”
"God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth." Matthew 5:3-5 In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus starts with Eight Beatitudes or blessings for a specific type of person/attitude/character. For me, you can summarize Jesus’ promises recorded here as, how joyful are the ones who recognize they only need God! How does Jesus want you to treat others? Recognize your need and total dependence on God to love others well. You can’t do it apart from God...period. Develop a humble and God-dependent heart and you will be more gentle with the ones you love and the ones who are difficult. God-dependent people are simply more gracious and kind and gentle. You can become like the great Saints of the bible: David — “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise” (Psalm 51:17). Everyone agrees that this is the spirit that pleases God after you are taken in adultery and murder. But what about the times when you are doing good? Job — “I had heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees thee; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:5–6). Isaiah — “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” (Isaiah 6:5). So we learn from Job and Isaiah that one source of lowliness is to see God in his power and holiness. (www.desiringgod.org)
Where individuals sat at an ancient Jewish table for a meal mattered. The seating arrangement was highly important. Jesus knew who was going to betray him, Judas, and yet he gave Judas the seat to his left! This was the seat reserved by the host for the person designated as most honored guest! How does Jesus want you to love others? Be a servant, lay down your life. My dad used to ask women in audience around the world, “How many of you ladies would have a problem submitting to a dead man?” Extreme example, but it hits the point! You can submit to and serve each other when you feel like the other person has your best interest in mind and isn’t trying to take advantage of you but rather is trying to serve you. If someone you love is shut down toward you, take the initiative and serve. Serving others is a powerful way to open their spirit back up! And you serve others regardless of how they are treating you. Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him. He knew it! Yet still he gave Judas the seat of most honored guest out of all the disciples for the last supper.
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 “Jesus teaches Nicodemus that God’s only motive is love. Jesus hasn’t been sent into the world to judge, punish and sentence to death. He has come to reveal the light and show the love of God. He longs that people should stop preferring darkness and clinging to shame.” (Knowles, A. (2001). The Bible guide (1st Augsburg books ed., p. 510). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg.) So how are you supposed to love others? Like God loves you “A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same. Brief enough to write on a napkin or memorize in a moment, yet solid enough to weather two thousand years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here.” Max Lucado
“So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.” Luke 12:32 “Little flock” refers to believers who belong to God’s kingdom and live under God’s loving care (vv. 22–31). This image recalls the Old Testament's depiction of God as a caring shepherd of His people (e.g., Psa 77:20; Jer 13:17; Mic 4:8). The true disciple is not afraid because of a sincere trust in God. The true disciple doesn’t draw their security from things, or people, or places but from God. This makes you free to give to others when called upon. If their treasure (or security) is money, then that will be their consuming passion. Making money one’s treasure is the path to insecurity… (Schreiner, T. R. (1995). Luke. In Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (Vol. 3, p. 823). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.) Why did Jesus make this statement? “We stop focusing our quest on things, and we start selling what we don’t need and turning our stockpiled resources into ministries of kingdom-bringing love.” John Piper How does this help your relationship? "The Romans had a proverb which said that money was like sea water; the more you drink the thirstier you become. Similarly, as long as our attitude is that of the rich fool our desire will always be to get more—and that is the reverse of the Christian way."(Barclay, W. (2001). The Gospel of Luke (p. 195). Louisville, KY; London: Westminster John Knox Press.) “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Corrie ten Boom
“If you love me, obey my commandments.” When he makes this statement, it was a big evening for Jesus. It’s his formal farewell to his disciples, his friends. And his friends are freaking out! They are scared. How does Jesus decide to comfort them? He promises the Holy Spirit - the great comforter. The one who would guide, teach, encourage, empower, and mediate on behalf of the believer. Ultimately he was giving them the comforting presence of himself - Jesus. The provision of Jesus that will bring about this relationship is declared to be the indwelling Spirit (vv. 15–17) Holy Spirit has two new names: the Paraclete (NIV Counselor, v. 16) the Spirit of truth Paraclete (Gk. parakletos) is unique to John (elsewhere 14:26; 15:26; 16:7; 1 John 2:1) and expresses the Spirit’s strengthening, equipping role. A parakletos was a judicial advocate (cf. Matt. 10:16–20) and here Jesus says that Christians alone can enjoy his aid (John 14:17). How does this help your relationship? When you obey and love Jesus, you (and only the one who believes and acts) gets the Holy Spirit! What does your relationship need… Strength for tough times...you get thatTruth...you get thatEncouragement...you get thatGuidance...you get thatEmpowerment to treat others like Jesus...you get thatThe comforting presence of Jesus...you get that “The Christian’s life in all its aspects—intellectual and ethical, devotional and relational, upsurging in worship and outgoing in witness—is supernatural; only the Spirit can initiate and sustain it. So apart from him, not only will there be no lively believers and no lively congregations, there will be no believers and no congregations at all.” – J. I. Packer
Let His promises protect your relationship John 15:5 (Part 1 - the critical importance of intimacy with Jesus) “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” “What prompts Jesus to use this image? His figures (shepherd, bread, water, light) all came from ancient Jewish traditions. If Jesus left the Upper Room in 14:30, he may have stopped at the temple to teach and to pray. At the entrance of the Holy Place (west of the altar), steps led to a linen curtain covered with purple, scarlet, and blue flowers. Solid gold chains hung alongside the curtain from the door beam. Above the curtain (beneath the roof line) grew a gigantic grapevine of pure gold, representing Israel. Wealthy citizens could bring gifts to add to the vine (gold tendrils, grapes, or leaves), and these would be added by metal workers to the ever-growing vine. Josephus claims that some of the grape clusters were the “height of a man.” The vine/vineyard metaphor is used frequently in the Old Testament. Israel is often depicted as a vine transplanted from Egypt (Ps. 80:8–11) and brought to fertile soil (Ezek. 17:1–6). Enemies may trample the vineyard (Jer. 12:10–11) but God tends it carefully and looks for fruit (Isa. 5:1–7). The vineyard may be the preeminent biblical symbol of the locus of God’s activity, his nurture, and his expectations (cf. Matt. 21:33–41). (Burge, G. M. (1995). John. In Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (Vol. 3, pp. 869–870). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.) Jesus emphasizes two things: Abide Proof How does this help your relationships?
'Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”' John 8:31-32 The NT stresses the need for believers to remain in Christ. The reality of this close personal relationship with Jesus Christ is expressed in obedience to his word and is essential to effective discipleship. How do you abide in Jesus? Hold to his teaching (1 John 2:24) Obedience to him (John 15:10) Live like Jesus (1 John 2:6) But this is not accomplished without Communion (John 6:56) The Spirit’s anointing (1 John 2:27) By faith (Ephesians 3:17-19) How does this help your relationship? Fruitfulness (John 15:4-5) The picture of “bearing fruit” may cover many aspects of Christian life but it includes that of developing Christian character, effective Christian service and mission. These result, not from human effort, but from abiding in Christ. Answered Prayer (John 15:16) Freedom from persistent sin (1 John 3:6-9) Relationship with God (John 14:23) Confidence in the last day (1 John 2:28) “It is only into the thirst of an empty soul that the streams of living waters flow. Ever thirsting is the secret of never thirsting.” Andrew Murray
Follow Him John 1:43 (Part 1 - the critical importance of intimacy with Jesus) “The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, ‘Come, follow me.’” Our theme so far has been to not just believe, but obey. To respond and don’t waste time doing what Jesus desires most. That is where we find freedom. Today is about the cost of following Jesus Your family (Matthew 10:37-38) Your own life (Luke 14:26-27) Your pride (Mark 8:34) In essence, it will cost you anything you value more than Jesus. We must accept and follow Jesus’ leadership, command and guidance. How does this help your relationship? Freedom. When Jesus is #1, you can’t help but react to that person who matters most to you in a fruit of the spirit! “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23 “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain
Our TOPPODCAST Picks 
