IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

Your Teen WANTS You To Connect with Them

This might come as a shock to you, but your teen WANTS you to connect with them.

I know what you might be thinking, "Not MY teen. They want nothing to do with me."

I know, it probably seems that way, but I promise you, your teen wants connection.

Your teen wants to belong.

They want to be praised and appreciated.

The want the safety that comes with unconditional love, acceptance, and belonging.

Wanting to belong is a fundamental human need and desire.

When this need isn't met, teens will desperately search for it.

Your teen might not be willing to admit it, but secretly they WANT connection with YOU!

Your Teen Wants YOU To Connect with Them

Now, here's the tricky part.

Your teen wants YOU to connect with them.

Stop waiting for them to open up and start connecting with you, they want you to initiate the connection.

This is powerful knowledge.

Knowing that Your teen WANTS connection, and knowing that they want YOU to connect with them gives you incredible power.

Whether or not it's true is less important than simply believing and trusting that it is true.

Think about it.

The thought, "My teen wants nothing to do with me."

How does that feel for you?

It might feel "true," but it probably feels sad and disheartening.

Now think about this instead, "My teen wants ME to connect with them?"

How does that feel?

For me, it's hopeful and empowering.

It helps me know that what I'm doing as a dad, even though it's sometimes hard, is exactly what my teens secretly want.

Build Values Based Connections with Your Teen

One of the things that I am fighting against in the world is over-complication or parenting.

We have a natural tendency to overly complicate things, especially parenting.

So, here are some simple principles to help you build values based connections with your teens.

When you join my membership in 2023, you'll get access to my full values trainings, which are AMAZING!

But for now, I promise you this is enough to get you started.

Know your own values.
- Know what drives you.
- Know what your priorities are.
- Look to your results for evidence as to what your values are.
Know your teen's values.
- Understand what drives your teen.
- What are their priorities?
- Look at their results for evidence of what their values are.
Highlight your common values.
- We all have common values.
- Most people focus on their differences.
- When you focus on others' values, you will appreciate them and have a desire to connect with them.
- When you focus on common values, it builds a solid foundation for connection.
Take interest in what your teen is interested in.
- Observe what your teen in interested in.
- Take interest in things that they are interested in.
Trust the human need for connection.
- Seriously, trust this need.
- Our desire for connection causes people to do crazy things.
- When you seek to connect with your teen it will first change YOU and second change your teen.

Become The Parent of Your Dreams in 2023!

There's only one more week to take advantage of my FREE Podcast-MINI-Series!

This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, until Wednesday December 14, 2022.

Listen Before It's Gone!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

BONUS! Be The Change with Emily Wardrop Dec 02, 2022

Show notes

www.dropthewar.com/believe

This is an unplanned, unscripted, interview!

Make sure you listen to this episode because I won't do it justice here in the show notes.

Emily Wardrop is an awesome friend and amazing life coach for parents. I really enjoyed this conversation with her, and I'm sure you will too.

On the Same Team

On this podcast we talk about being on the same team rather than on the same page.

This helps you as a parent to model the behavior and BEing that you want to see in your teen.

Humans are Herd Animals

We talked about mirroring the behavior that we see in our children.

We talked about the power of modeling the behavior that we want to see instead of mirroring it.

Be the Change You Want to See!

We also talked about BEing the change that you want to see.

Too many parents overly focus on their teens, and instead of BEing the change, they try to change their teens.

Be the change that you want to see!

How to work with Emily!

You can find Drop the War Life Coach on FB, IG, and YouTube!

Check out her amazing FREE trainings by clicking the links below!

www.dropthewar.com/t1d
My Podcast-Mini-Series will be ending soon. Don't miss it!

I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.

If you haven't yet listened to my FREE Podcast-MINI-Series, Parenting from the Inside-Out, do it before it's gone on Dec. 14th, 2022.

benpughcoaching.com/privatepodcast

Also, register to attend one or all of my FREE Parenting from the Inside-Out trainings. Learn More Here

There will be live trainings held on the following dates and times:

Dec 6, 2022 10:00 AM
Dec 7, 2022 02:00 PM
Dec 14, 2022 12:00 PM

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Are You Unhappy In Your Parenting? Dec 01, 2022

Show notes

Your Stories Are Making You Unhappy

One of the things I've noticed recently is that there are a lot of unhappy parents and teens out there.

This is something that I've been coaching on regularly for the past several months.

And, to be honest, this is something that I've been struggling with in my own life recently.

Then recently I heard my coach say, . . .

"Unhappiness comes from the gap between where your current life
is (story) and where you think it should be (story). That gap in between is the
'unhappiness gap'.”

~ Jim Fortin

The truth is, EVERYTHING is a story.

Be The Hero Of Your Stories

Another thing that causes unhappiness, and one that I am a master at, is positioning yourself as the victim in your story.

I do this all the time.

I blame the guy who cut me off, or my wife or business partner for a disagreement.

The problem is, anytime you blame someone else, you position yourself as the victim in your story.

If you or your teen are unhappy, check your stories. Are you blaming someone or something outside of your control?

If the answer is "Yes," that's awesome news because YOU have the power to be the hero of your stories.

Start Developing New Stories

There's a trend in life coaching to really focus on what you are thinking.

This isn't bad, and I love thought awareness, but I think there's also power in focusing on HOW you are thinking.

Blaming is a way of thinking.

Catastrophizing is a way of thinking.

On the other hand, being accountable or taking responsibility are ways of thinking.

As you change how you think, you will start practicing new stories.

You can do this both on the individual level of WHAT you are thinking and on the bigger picture of HOW you are thinking.

Want to Be Happier? Tell Better Stories.

There was a time when my business was new, we weren't making much money, and we had to get help from our church to provide food for my family.

I remember thinking things like:

I'm a failure.
My business isn't working.
I should quit.
This isn't working.
It's the market's fault.

As I did some self coaching, I started replacing my old stories with more helpful stories like:

This is an opportunity for me to grow from desperation.
This will be a good story to help inspire future clients.
If I can get through this, I can get through anything.

Making sense of your past or current trials and struggles is kind of like connecting the dots between where you were and are and where you want to be.

Making sense of your life is simply choosing the stories that you will tell and the interpretations you will make.

Merry Christmas!

I want to give YOU a FREE GIFT, my podcast-mini-series to help YOU grow as a parent.

This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, until Wednesday December 14, 2022.

This is a gift that will impact not only you, but your whole entire family as well.

As you grow and develop your parenting skills, things will change in your whole home.

Make this year's Christmas magical, by BEING the parent of your dreams.

Check out my FREE new podcast-mini-series Parenting From the Inside Out and learn how you can give your family the gift of your own personal growth.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Ben's Birthday Interview with Arthur C. Woods Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

This is an unplanned, unscripted, interview!

Make sure you listen to this episode because I won't do it justice here in the show notes.

Arthur C. Woods is an awesome friend and amazing life coach for teens. I really enjoyed this conversation with him.

Stages of Growth!

Discovery: Discovering who you are and who you want to be.

Defining: Defining and deciding who you are and who you want to be.

These are both important steps in growth.

And, growth is often uncomfortable.

In addition to being uncomfortable, growth is also a process that takes time and repeated effort over and over.

The Importance of Identity

Most people overly focus on DOing things rather than BEing.

Rather than reading a book, be a reader.

Rather than focusing on running a marathon, focus on BEing a marathon runner.

Trust who you are!

Lean to your strengths.

Let your weaknesses be areas of growth.

How to get your teen to work with Arthur!

(1) Free Parent (of Teen) Training: Helping Your Teen Escape The Prison of Anxiety (December 08, Thursday @ 6:30 pm - Eastern Standard Time). Parents can register here: https://bit.ly/helpingyourteensescape

(2) Free Facebook Group, Exclusively For Parents of Teenagers: www.facebook.com/groups/parentingteensintodaysworld

(3) Connect with Arthur: www.facebook.com/arthurcwoods

My Podcast-Mini-Series will be ending soon. Don't miss it!

I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.

This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, until December 14th, 2022.

This is a gift that will impact not only you, but your whole entire family as well.

Check out my FREE new podcast-mini-series Parenting From the Inside Out and learn how you can give your family the gift of your own personal growth.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Gratitude is a Superpower Nov 17, 2022

Show notes

I'm Grateful for YOU!

I wanted to take a minute and express my gratitude for you!

I'm grateful for you and your efforts as a parent.

I'm grateful for your time, for your attention, and for your desire to grow.

Thank you for your support!

The Power Of Gratitude

Recently I've been doing a lot of coaching on emotions.

Here's what I've learned.

Gratitude as a Feeling

Gratitude is a feeling, an emotion.

It is created by our thoughts.

It is created when we choose to appreciate our circumstances.

Gratitude is when you intentionally choose to be grateful and appreciative for your circumstances.

Gratitude is a powerful driving emotion.

We know from the model that our feelings drive our actions.

When I’m grateful I take actions like serving others, appreciating others, treating others (and myself) with kindness and patience.

Gratitude drives actions that create results that I love in my life.

Gratitude as a Way of BEing

Gratitude can be more than a simple feeling.

Gratitude can be a way of BEing. It’s a choice.

I love BEing grateful. It is one of my favorite ways to BE as a dad.

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably caught yourself being ungrateful.

If you’re like most people, when you’re ungrateful, you probably parent with less kindness and compassion.

It’s okay to catch yourself being ungrateful. It’s part of being human and being a parent.

BUT, you also have the power to BE grateful!

AND, I promise . . .

Gratitude WILL change EVERYTHING!

How to Develop the Superpower, GRATITUDE!

Set your Intention Early and Every day!

This has been powerful in my life!
When I get up, I set my intention for the day.
I guide my mind as to where I want it to go to work.
This takes practice, but it’s totally worth it.

2. Practice BEing Grateful Daily.

This one goes right along with #1, once you’ve set you intention, simply practice!
Don’t expect yourself to be perfect.
Just commit to practicing BEing grateful every day.
It will become more and more natural.

3. See The Power of Gratitude In Your Life.

As you set your intention and practice gratitude, see the power in your life.
See how BEing grateful impacts your life.
Look for new and more things to be grateful for.
Find new ways to be grateful.

4. Keep a Gratitude Journal.

Seriously, there are some many things to be grateful for, and when you start to look for them, you’ll be overwhelmed with all the gifts in your life.
Keep a gratitude journal so you can remember and fully appreciate your life.
This journal will help you look back and see your own growth.
It’s fun to look back on things you were grateful for.

5. Share Your Gratitude with Others.

You can’t make others feel gratitude, but you can lead by example.
Help other people feel loved and appreciated by sharing your gratitude for them with them.
This may help others see things that they are grateful for.

The Gift Of Growth

I want to give you the gift of growth.

I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.

This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, from Monday November 14, 2022 through

This is a gift that will impact not only you, but your whole entire family as well.

Check out my FREE new podcast-mini-series Parenting From the Inside Out and learn how you can give your family the gift of your own personal growth.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

The Gift of YOUR Growth Nov 10, 2022

Show notes

Why Do Parents Stop Growing?

Recently I was talking to a dad and he said something to the effect of, "Why do we quit growing as parents and adults?"

He went on to say that as a parent, he feels like he's supposed to know everything and be perfect and that working on his own personal growth would make him look silly, like he doesn't know everything and he's not perfect.

☝️ This is why parents stop growing. ☝️

They think that they're supposed to know everything and be perfect, so they avoid imperfection and the unknown.

There's a concept that I taught my little league football team this year.

One day, while I was trying to coach up one of my players, he kept interrupting me telling me, "I know. I already know!"

The problem was, when I watched him I could tell that he did not know what I wanted him to know.

And, because he thought he already knew, he didn't have room to learn anything new.

I call this the full cup problem.

Imagine trying to pour water into a cup that's already full of water.

What's going to happen?

It's going to over-fill and run over the side.

The cup has no room for anything more.

This happens to us when we think we have no room for growth.

Why Do People Avoid Growth?

Recently I've been watching my kids as they've been growing in different areas of their lives.

My 16 year old, even though he's on the football team and wants to be a good football player, he has been resistant to growth.

He tells me things like, "I don't want to mess up", or "I don't want a coach to yell at me", or "I don't want to look dumb."

My 13 teen year old on the other hand, has never played football before this year and he knew almost nothing.

Because he knew nothing, he positioned himself as an empty cup and was very coachable, and he grew very quickly.

Most people avoid growth for just a few reasons.

#1 They don't want to look bad.

#2 It can be hard and uncomfortable to grow.

#3 They don't believe they can/need to grow.

Growth is What Stands Between You and Your Dreams

One of the things that I've found as I've coached tons of parents and teens is that growth is what's standing between you and your dreams.

Want to become the parent of your dreams?

Grow as a parent.

Want a better relationship with your teen?

Grow YOUR relationship with yourself and then your teen.

Want to stop yelling, arguing, or simply avoiding all potential conflict with your teen?

Grow yourself as a parent.

The Gift Of Growth

I want to give you the gift of growth.

I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.

This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, from Monday November 14, 2022 through

This is a gift that will impact not only you, but your whole entire family as well.

Check out my FREE new podcast-mini-series Parenting From the Inside Out and learn how you can give your family the gift of your own personal growth.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Increasing Your Emotional Awareness Nov 03, 2022

Show notes

When we bring awareness to our emotions we can better understand them.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Slow Progress is Still Progress Oct 27, 2022

Show notes

YES! I WANT TO JOIN THE CHALLENGE!

Slow Progress is Still Progress

Progress is a Process
Progress is Personal/Individual
Progress Has a Purpose

Join My BE The Change Challenge!

Let's go back to the basics!

Join my BE The Change Challenge on Facebook.

Listen to my first 5 episodes and share your progress on Facebook.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Are You Craving Simplicity? Oct 20, 2022

Show notes

Get the Course for $125 OFF!

Humans Overcomplicate Things

If you're like most people, you're probably guilty of overcomplicating things.

This is in our human nature.

Your Subconscious Mind Loves Simplicity

Your subconscious is craving simplicity.

We think we want complicated, and all the bells and whistles, but what we really want is simplicity.

Over-Complication Leads to Overwhelm

Lately in my 1:1 coaching and in the Firmly Founded Family membership, I've been coaching a lot on OVERWHELM.

It seems like everyone is overwhelmed these days, especially me.

Moms and dads are overwhelmed because it's the holiday season, and their houses aren't clean enough or decorated well enough, and they need to do all this stuff, and help their kids do all this stuff, and they need to pay the bills and work, but then they're not home, and they just feel like they are failing at everything because they can't do everything, and they feel overwhelmed and stressed.

Teens are overwhelmed because their grades aren't good enough, and they have so many things that they don't want to miss out on, and school, and church, and youth groups, and coaching calls, and sports, and, and, and, . . .

And I'm overwhelmed because I have so many things I want to do. I want to have the best family membership, the best coaching content, the best courses, and I want to start an entrepreneurial alternative to high school for teens who hate school, and I want the most clients, and I want to coach football and win the most games and have the trickiest plays, plus I just want to hangout with my family all the time, all of which leaves me feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

If you're like everyone I've ever coached on overwhelm, you probably don't like it.

Overwhelm will hold you back.

Overwhelm will suck all the joy and confidence from your life.

Simplicity Leads to BEing

If you want more peace, joy, and confidence in your life, start turning to simplicity.

Seriously, it will change EVERYTHING.

One of the things keeping you from BEing the parent of your dreams is overwhelm.

Trying to be everything, and do everything, and have everything is keeping you from BEing who you want to be.

Get Access to My Next Course at 50% OFF! (You just have to help me with some feedback).

I'm implementing some new teachings in my next course, and I'm redoing tons of components with the goal of simplification.

Help me hone in this trainings and make the course as simple, yet impactful, as possible, while saving a bunch of money.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

10 Things Keeping You From Changing Oct 13, 2022

Show notes

Taming Your Emotional Monsters Replay

Why Don't People Change?

Everyone wants to change!

But, very few people actually create the change that they are looking for.

Why is that?

Why don't people change; or, why don't people create the change that they are looking for?

Today we're going to explore 2 things.

What keeps people from change, in general?

. . . And, . . .

What's keeping YOU from changing?

What Keeps People From Changing?

The Firmly Founded Family theme for October is:
Facing Your Fears!

On Monday, we hosted a FREE training on Taming Your Emotional Monsters.

We're doing a fun challenge for the month to help you and your family overcome your fears.

By participating in this training (watching the replay) and doing things to overcome your fears, you and your family can win a $100 Amazon Gift Card.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.