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How To! with Charles Duhigg — Education
How To! with Charles Duhigg

You’ve got questions. We find answers.

We all need advice, but it’s not always clear who to ask. Each week, we invite a listener on the show to tackle a real problem, like protecting our elderly loved ones from scammers, emigrating as a throuple, and speaking without saying “um” – all with help from world-class experts: attorneys, doctors, entrepreneurs, authors, researchers – who actually know what they’re talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else’s therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.

Copyright: © Slate Magazine 2019

Latest Episodes:

After a Year of Survival, How to Start Living Again Jun 15, 2021

Show notes

For the past year, Brandon has been terrified of leaving his apartment. And so he's settled into an extreme pandemic routine. He cooks all of his own meals, has yet to see his parents, and on the rare occasion he takes the trash out, still wears double masks, rubber gloves and safety goggles. Brandon has been fully vaccinated for weeks now but the very low risk of a breakthrough Covid case seems like a grave danger because a few years ago he suffered another incredibly rare viral infection. On this episode of How To!, we bring on economist Tim Harford, author of The Data Detective and host of the podcast Cautionary Tales, and clinical psychologist and Stanford professor Debra Kaysen to help Brandon work through his anxiety—from a statistical and an emotional perspective. Most of us feel varying levels of anxiety about getting back to "normal," but Tim and Debra's advice can help us reframe risk and find coping strategies to get back out there.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Survive a Shark Attack."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life Jun 08, 2021

Show notes

Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she's lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn't interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she's worried it's hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimate. "Think of like when you were dating...that was date sex," Emily reminds us. She then breaks down the myths that so many of us have internalized about sex, and shares surprising tips to help anyone—no matter their age or relationship status—have better sex.

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Save Your Marriage."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

My Kid's Anxiety Is Giving ME Anxiety! How Do I Fix This? Jun 01, 2021

Show notes

Michaela is worried that her son, Asher, is constantly worried. At 8 years old, Asher is already dealing with some pretty intense anxiety. For example, he cried every day at school last year. Now that he's being home schooled during the pandemic, Michaela has seen how much pressure Asher puts on himself to do well. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. Krystal Lewis, a clinical psychologist at the National Institute of Mental Health who works with kids with anxiety disorders. Krystal knows how hard—and how common—it is when kids struggle with anxiety early on, and she suggests some helpful coping mechanisms. But even more than these techniques, Krystal urges parents to learn how to manage their own anxiety. Instead of trying to hide your struggles, be a model for your kids as you work through difficult emotions.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Stop Being Anxious."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Single Most Important Thing to Know Before Becoming a Single Parent May 25, 2021

Show notes

Stacie is in her early 30s and is ready to have a baby. There's just one problem—she doesn't have a partner. As much as she wants to be a mom, Stacie is worried about being a single parent by choice. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Lori Gottlieb, therapist, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and solo mom herself. Lori opens about her own experience having her son on her own, navigating people's judgment, and finding ways to consider herself "enough" as a single parent. The hardest part? "Every decision you make is ultimately yours. On the one hand, that might seem liberating, but on the other hand, it's very paralzying because there's so much pressure," Lori says. What does Stacie ultimately decide?

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Decide Whether to have a Baby" and "How To Talk to Your Son About Sex."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Stand Up to Your Terrible Manager—Without Getting Fired May 18, 2021

Show notes

Shirley loves her job as a product manager for a startup, but she can't stand her manager. He's inefficient, old-fashioned, and entirely unsupportive of her work. "Just so you know, you don't deserve this," he told Shirley when she recently got promoted. Is there anything Shirley can do to make her work situation better? On this episode of How To, we bring on Patty McCord, former chief talent officer for Netflix and author of Powerful: Building a Culture of Freedom and Responsibility, to give Shirley some tips. Shirley ought to approach the situation the same way she would any product she works on: "Be the person that is the problem fixer, not the problem finder," says Patty. Complaining or staging a coup will go nowhere, but approaching your manager with tangible solutions for improving your relationship could make a difference.

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Get That Promotion You Deserve."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship May 11, 2021

Show notes

Diane feels like she's constantly picking fights with her partner Mohammed—when he forgets to grab tomatoes from the grocery store or drops the ball on planning their son's birthday party. Their conflicts are complicated by layers of cultural differences: Mohammed is a Syrian refugee, Diane is an American, and they live in the Netherlands. "He lived through a war, so I can't win any argument," says Diane, who is increasingly desperate to find a solution. On this episode of How To!, we bring on investigative journalist Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. Amanda reveals that conflict can actually be good—as long as anger, and not contempt, is at its core. Drawing from her research on astronauts, gang members and politicians, Amanda coaches Diane through techniques that can help all of us have better fights.

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Win Arguments Like a Hostage Negotiator."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Now Is the Time To Escape Your Bad Relationship. Here's How. May 04, 2021

Show notes

Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. "I'm incredibly lonely, and it's impossible to meet anybody my age right now," our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn't meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, dating coach, and author of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love, to help Sarah break up with Matthew and move on. And moving on, Logan says, doesn't necessarily mean just dating. What Sarah might really be missing is a community—and so she ought to search for not only a romantic partner but also friends who function as "other significant others."

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Find Your First Kiss at 38."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I'm Great at My Job. So Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud? Apr 27, 2021

Show notes

When Shellye Archambeau walked into her first meeting as a board member of Verizon, she felt a moment of panic. "Do I actually belong at this table?" she remembers thinking. Shellye, one of the first Black women to work as the CEO of a tech company in Silicon Valley, has struggled over the years with what's commonly known as "imposter syndrome"—the feeling that you are a phony, despite all evidence to the contrary. On this episode of How To!, Shellye, the author of Unapologetically Ambitious, gives advice to Hannah, a medical student who is struggling with the same feelings of self-doubt, particularly as she's about to treat patients for the first time. Can Shellye help Hannah tame her imposter syndrome so she can be an effective physician? "I can't tell people how to get over it," Shellye says. "But I can tell you how to deal with it."

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Be a Badass On and Off the Court."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Give a Killer Speech Apr 20, 2021

Show notes

We're all have to give a presentation at some point in our lives — on a stage, in a conference room, and, these days, on Zoom. So what makes a good speech? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Chris Anderson, the head of TED Talks and author of TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking. Chris gives us the inside scoop on the famous speaking series and breaks down some of the greatest speeches of all time. Then we present Chris with an unusual challenge from a 6th-grader named Lucy. She wrote in asking for help with a speech she is planning to give to her school board about improving her school. Can the head of TED help our 6th-grade listener with the biggest speech of her young life?

If you liked this episode, check out our episode featuring Guy Raz, the former host of TED Radio Hour: "How To Become Your Own Boss With Guy Raz."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I Was Lost at Sea for 438 Days. Here's How I Survived. Apr 13, 2021

Show notes

Imagine you're floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a boat the size of an SUV. You have no working electronics, no food or water, and only a styrofoam box to shade you from the sun. Your only companion is a 22-year-old who has little seafaring experience. How would you survive? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jonathan Franklin, author of 438 Days, to tell us the incredible story of José Salvador Alvarenga, a shark fisherman who survived at sea for over 14 months. Jonathan says that Alvarenga was a pro at being resourceful—surviving on bird meat, shark livers, and sea turtle blood—but the real key to his survival was mental. For much of his journey, Alvarenga took care of his younger companion, Jonathan says, and it was this caregiving motivation more than anything else that kept Alvarenga alive.

If you liked this episode, check out the first episode in our two-part series: "How To Survive in the Wild Part 1."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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