How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine

Latest Episodes:

How To Survive a Street Fight with Jesse Thorn Feb 14, 2023

Show notes

This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a street fight, and our friend Jesse Thorn joins us to talk about growing up in San Francisco and how he survived a street fight of his own.

Do you carry junk on you, like Garon? If so, here's some advice for avoiding getting jumped.

However, if nothing works and the street fight is going down, here are some tips for defending yourself in an extreme street fight.

Storytime: Kristine shared the epic survival tale of Susan Kuhnhausen and her insane battle with a hitman.

Kristine and Danielle were thrilled to welcome radio and podcast legend, Jesse Thorn. You know him from Bullseye, Jodan Jesse Go, and so much more on Maximum Fun.

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How to Survive Deadly Mosquito Bites & Biting It on Stage (w/ Patton Oswalt) Feb 07, 2023

Show notes

This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the world’s deadliest creature: Mosquitoes! — bites, diseases, and all the dastardly ways they ruin your life. Then, the incredible Patton Oswalt joins to share a hilarious story about the night he truly bit it on stage. Yes, it even happened to Patton.

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Don't get West Nile Virus. Are you in California and want to know more about those mosquitoes that assault your ankles nonstop yet somehow remain invisible? Read this.

Here's some information on the best mosquito control for your body and yard.

Then it was on to one of our favorite segments: Story Time. Here's the full text.

Kristine and Danielle were so excited to welcome Patton Oswalt. Patton is touring right now! You can see him this Sunday at Largo, and more dates too. Buy Patton's comic series Minor Threats here.

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How To Survive Sex & an Orgasm Stroke with Lizzy Cooperman Jan 31, 2023

Show notes

This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive sex, and our guest Lizzy Cooperman joins us to talk about her own harrowing experiences dealing with sex and an undiagnosed illness.

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How To Survive Childbirth & Child Travel with Matt Braunger Jan 24, 2023

Show notes

Danielle and Kristine discuss childbirth dangers, and comedian Matt Braunger shares his adventures of driving across the country during a pandemic with his newborn daughter.

Then it was time to birth this week's topic, How to Survive Childbirth.

Here are some typical worries many first-time moms experience.

Are you worried about a C-Section, or have one scheduled? The Mayo Clinic is a good resource for specifics.

Are you pregnant with twins like Kristine was? You probably know it's different.

Are you itching like crazy? Call your OBGYN. This could be cholestasis. Kristine had it (it's more common in women over 35 and twin births).

Are you concerned about placenta previa? Here are some signs and symptoms.

You do not have to get an epidural, but according to the American Academy of Anesthesiologists, it's safe. Here are some myths about epidurals from UT Southwestern Medical Center.

Kristine met two of her closest friends in her Bradley Method class, so she has no regrets, but she thinks the method puts a lot of pressure on women to give birth naturally and touts many false claims. Birth shaming is real. It's ruining this woman's marriage!

For storytime, Danielle shared the story of a woman who had a surprising VBAC. Just goes to show we know our bodies!

Kristine and Danielle welcomed Matt Braunger and his cozy flannel as their guest. The funny and talented comedian is touring this spring and summer, so get tickets here. Watch Doug!

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How To Survive A Dangerous Animal & A Dangerous Machine with Emily Maya Mills Jan 17, 2023

Show notes

Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive one of the world's most dangerous animals this week, and Valley Heat's own Emily Maya Mills joins us with a story about surviving one of the world's most dangerous machines!

Because of the atmospheric river, Danielle and Kristine touched briefly on flood safety, and if your home was damaged, it could be confusing to know what's covered. Perhaps this article is helpful. One thing is certain: Danielle will never drink a gallon of water daily.

After that brief sidebar on flooding, it was time to get into the main event- hippos.

Want to see a baby hippo snuggling with her mamma?

Are hippos dangerous to humans? Read here!

Want the A-Z on hippos?

Do you like academic texts? Who doesn't? Here's A LOT of information on hippos if you like to do deep dives on a subject.

How to Deal With a Hippo Encounter

And how about those Cocaine Hippos? And if you can't get enough of cocaine hippos, there is never enough Cocaine Hippos!

After covering the world's most dangerous animal (after the two Big M's- Mosquitos, Men), it was our favorite time, STORYTIME! The link also allows you to watch Paul share the story, and he also wrote a book about it.

Here's another hippo attack story.

Kristine and Danielle were thrilled to welcome Emily Maya Mills as their guest. The multi-talented Mills recently directed the short horror thriller Boohag or Shadowman (36:14), hosts the Frogtown Show, plays Faye on Valley Heat, and much more.

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How To Survive Being Out Of A Job & Out Of Control (w/Andy Richter) Jan 10, 2023

Show notes

This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a worker strike, and the wonderful Andy Richter joins us to talk about a time he and his buddy got a little out of control at a party.

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New Year Break Bonus - True Crime & Cocktails with Lauren Ash and Christy Oxborrow Jan 03, 2023

Show notes

Here's a new year treat while Danielle, Kristine and Garon are enjoying the holidays: one of our favorite guests Lauren Ash's own podcast True Crime & Cocktails featuring her cohost Christy Oxborrow discussing the Glee Curse!

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How To Survive No Guest with Danielle, Kristine & Garden Squirrel Dec 27, 2022

Show notes

Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive an unexpected guest cancelation this week by sharing gifts and discussing whatever comes up.

Garon has The Talented Mr. Ripley, so it's an official HTS book club book! Read it if you like well-written books about psychopaths and murder! Here is a fun story about Patricia Highsmith.

A Few Resources on Grief...

Our lovely friend Rob Delaney wrote this book, "A Heart That Works," about the loss of his son, Henry.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion is a beautiful book.

The Strategist has a list of books that includes children's books and how to help children through loss.

Our friend, who also recently lost their mother, recommended this podcast episode on grief.

Here's an article on how to help someone who is grieving.

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How To Survive Grief with Danielle and Kristine Dec 20, 2022

Show notes

Danielle and Kristine talk about surviving their recent experiences with grief, and we also take some time to deal with the finale of White Lotus. Spoilers!

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How To Survive Parasites & Failure in Hollywood with Laura Mannino Dec 13, 2022

Show notes

Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive parasites, and the wonderful Laura Mannino joins us to share her experiences with failure in Hollywood.

In this week's episode, we got into appetite-suppressing territory with a deep dive into How to Survive Parasites.

Kristine got some fun information from medicalnewstoday.com.

For more details on toxoplasmosis, the mayo clinic's got you covered.

Got Pinworms? This is the medicine you need. I recommend mixing it with a few spoonfuls of orange juice to make it less disgusting. Get ready to wash everything in your house and cry a little.

Here's some information on Ascaris.

Elephantiasis (aka lymphatic filariasis) is dark stuff. You can look at images if you want to see how devastating this disease truly is.

Dracunculiasis,also called Guinea-worm disease, is sure to haunt our nightmares for years to come. You can read about the efforts to eradicate this disease here.

For our heartwarming parasite story, we shared the story of a man who survived a tapeworm in his brain.

Young Garon never imagined he'd have so many shirts dedicated to him. But he's more than just an inspiration for podcast merch. He's also a published author. Check out his work and support!

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