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    Comedy

    How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine

    A comedy survival podcast about the disasters you fear, the chaos you don’t expect, and the daily hassles that make you wish you were dead. Hosts Danielle Koenig and Kristine Kimmel break down everything from natural disasters to unnatural medical scares to wild animals you don’t want to encounter- plus guest stories you truly won’t believe. If it can endanger your life—or simply ruin your day—they’ll tell you how to survive it, with plenty of laughs along the way.

    Featuring guests like Rainn Wilson, Jon Hamm, Tig Notaro, Patton Oswalt, Oscar Nunez, Lauren Ash, Paul F. Tompkins & Andy Richter.

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    Copyright: © 2021

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    Latest Episodes:
    How To Survive Carjacking & Pizza Jacking with Martha Kelly Dec 06, 2022
    Show notes

    Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a carjacking this week, and Euphoria's own Martha Kelly joins us to share her experience of being robbed while delivering a pizza.

    Danielle returned to an old favorite, The Art of Manliness, for crucial advice on how to avoid being carjacked.


    Kristine had been uselessly trying to figure out how to call 9-11 with her iPhone while keeping it hidden. Guess what? The geniuses at Apple already solved this problem for her. Here's how to use Apple SOS.


    If you or your child ever have giant swollen lymph nodes in your neck, here is some practical information.

    The bump-and-run technique is real. Here's how to protect yourself.


    Pepper Spray vs. Pepper Gel- Find out which is right for you.

    For our story, Danielle shared the harrowing tale of Rebecca Matous, who was carjacked and shot in Daytona Beach after an early morning Walmart run.


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    The NEW Merchandise is here

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    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    How To Survive Isolation & Horrible Neighbors with Sharon Houston Nov 29, 2022
    Show notes

    Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive extreme isolation, and the delightful Sharon Houston discusses her nightmare neighbors.

    Danielle was aided in her research by this article from the BBC, How Extreme Isolation Warps Minds.

    And she also got into some of the Covid tips for the Lockdown.

    Here's a fun article about how the lockdown affected introverts & extroverts differently.

    Danielle shared the harrowing story of Sarah Shourd, an American imprisoned in Iran in extreme isolation for 410 days. If you'd like to learn more about Sarah's experience, watch the documentary here, CNN also covered the story, and you can learn more about Sarah Shourd at her website.

    Then it was time for our most excellent guest Sharon Houston. She shared an insane neighbor story for the ages. Have your own nightmare neighbor story you want to share? Email us at podcasthowtosurvive@gmail.com and tell us all about it.

    The NEW Merchandise is here!

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    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    How To Survive Thanksgiving with Danielle Fishel Nov 22, 2022
    Show notes

    Danielle and Kristine learn how to Thanksgiving with family, and it's a Dish reunion as the wonderful Danielle Fishel joins us to talk about surviving Thanksgiving with young kids!

    Since most of us don’t live inside a Nancy Meyers movie, Thanksgiving isn’t that treasured holiday full of warm cozy feelings and LL Bean Sweaters.

    Maybe you have a toxic family member or members? Well on this episode of HTS, we are going to give you some tips on how to not only Survive this holiday season BUT ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT.

    HTS shared some tips Courtesy of an Article From Bustle

    In a Guardian piece by Christina Wyman, she postulates that the obligation to be with family is built into the fabric of American culture. You’ll see it in every Holiday advertisement, movie, and holiday-themed show that fetishizes this idea of the loving nuclear family as opposed to hanging out with friends or going to a movie alone.

    How to Survive Thanksgiving with a QAnon Family Member

    Thank you to Vice & Slate for so much fascinating information

    The number of people sitting down to dinner with family and friends who are believers in QAnon is pretty nuts. The current reports put it at 1 in 5 Americans (41 million)

    Here is the fascinating story of the woman who was radicalized overnight.


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    How To Survive North Korea and The Wrong Village in Northern Germany with J. Keith van Straaten Nov 15, 2022
    Show notes

    Danielle and Kristine learned how to survive North Korea this week, and our friend J. Keith van Straaten joins us to talk about when he found himself in the wrong village in Northern Germany.


    For some history of the world's most repressive regime and the last closed totalitarian state, Human Rights Watch is a great place to start.

    To understand more about the Cult of Personality and Juche, Vox has a great explainer.

    Here's an NPR piece that you can listen to or read.

    A Chilling Look Inside North Korean Prison Camps

    And if you can't get enough, some more about the gulags.


    First Story of Escape: Shin Dong-hyuk

    His story is famously told in the book Escape From Camp 14

    If you want to read about the admitted inaccuracies in his report, this Washington Post piece is excellent.


    Next Up: The Lover & The Despot

    This is a crazy documentary (watch the trailer here) that you can stream on Amazon Prime. This KPCC review has some fun pics, including the one below.


    There wasn't time to get into this, but Assassins looks insane. You can also hear the incredible story in podcast form.

    Check out J. Keith van Straaten's podcast!


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    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    How To Survive A Car on Fire & "Dude Where's My Car," with Phil Stark Nov 08, 2022
    Show notes

    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a burning car, and comedy writer Phil Stark joins us to talk about his journey from writing "Dude, Where's My Car?" to his career as a therapist.

    Here's some helpful general information on car explosions, so you know what to watch out for.

    What about rising temperatures? Does that affect the danger? Read this!

    Was this Tesla possessed by the Devil?

    Here is a brief re-telling of the Pinto's deadly history and the original Mother Jones expose that brought the Pinto down.

    Remember back in 2016 when those Samsung phones kept exploding? Here's an article that reveals the cause; surprisingly, it wasn't our combined stress hormones. However, it looks like Samsung continues to be plagued by phones catching fire, and batteries being too swole.

    We were thrilled to be joined by the therapist and film and television screenwriter Philip Stark for the second half, who shared his story of finding a second career after massive success in Hollywood. Buy his book!

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    Leave us a review, and consider dropping your Twitter or IG handle so we can personally thank you!

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    How To Survive Everest & Falling Off A Cliff with Amanda Deibert Nov 01, 2022
    Show notes

    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive climbing Mount Everest, and our new friend Amanda Deibert joins us to talk about the time she fell off a cliff at the absolute worst time possible.

    Kristine dug into the topic without any supplemental oxygen and got a wealth of information from National Geographic,

    What makes Everest so Deadly from Livescience

    How Climbers Are Ruining Everest from Reader's Digest

    Some Tips on Climbing Everest from CNN

    Want to take a tour of Everest Base Camp?


    According to Wikipedia, Ken and Kevin are the two contenders for male Karen.


    Doesn't the Khumbu Ice Fall sound relaxing? Sign up for our newsletter to see the video of someone falling! (don't worry, they don't die.)

    In case you want more information about deaths on Everest.


    A short video on the first two men to summit Everest, although some speculate it could've been George Mallory


    Your odds of dying if you try to climb Everest are 1 in 100 (less than 1%). Here are some comparison numbers of other ways to go.

    There are tons of survival tales to be found regarding Everest. But Lincoln Hall's captivated us. You can also watch an entire documentary on his rescue on youtube.

    Want more movies on Everest? Here is a list!

    We were thrilled to be joined by comic book writer, screenwriter, and graphic novelist Amanda Deibert for the second half, who shared a fantastic story of falling off the Appalachians in a very awkward situation.


    Sign up for our newsletter and get entered into fun contests! https://www.podhowtosurvive.com/

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    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    How To Survive Blood Loss & Losing Your Place In School with Dave Holmes Oct 25, 2022
    Show notes

    Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive massive blood loss, and at last, our friend Dave Holmes makes his debut to tell us about the time he got kicked out of college.

    There's a big shake-up in the Real Housewives universe, and Danielle & Kristine are positively giddy that style icon Jenna Lyons is joining the RHONY cast. In another Bravo news, something called BravoCon exists, and Garon watches it. Next year, we plan to have press passes.

    Breaking news, The Watcher is also a 2000 film starring James Spader, Marisa Tomei, and Keanu Reeves. If the dialogue from the trailer is any indication, this looks like the best kind of "so bad it's good" movie to watch as a comedy after ingesting a weed gummy.

    Since we are approaching Halloween weekend, there is one more Watcher, if you can believe it. This is a 2022 film, rated 88% on Rotten Tomatoes. Kristine watched it with a pal, and they thought it was okay. Here's the trailer.

    Because it's SPOOKY SEASON (why is this a thing now?), we are keeping things creepy, and our topic was blood loss.

    Danielle had many cool facts on how much blood a person can lose and still live. Kristine and Danielle thought bloodletting could be a good option for Danielle, but it turns out it is not that safe! Speaking of bloodletting, do you know this story about George Washington?

    We are nothing, if not current, with our pop culture references. Check out this classic SNL sketch Danielle mentioned, and not for those who feel faint at the sight of blood.

    Once we all learned how much blood we should not lose (more than 40%), it was storytime! Danielle told the story of Ashley Byrnes, who nearly died from PPH (Post Partum Hemmorage) in 2017. Here is her harrowing story.

    Then it was time for the guest that needed no introduction, the multitalented and hilarious Dave Holmes! He told a fantastic story about his experience flailing at his small Catholic university in the 90s. You can enjoy Dave in various ways, and we encourage you to do so. His book, Party of One, is an NPR’s Great Reads and an Esquire‘s Best Books.

    Subscribe to our podcast: https://www.podhowtosurvive.com/

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    Website for even more detailed Show Notes! https://www.podhowtosurvive.com/

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    Leave us a review, and consider dropping your Twitter or IG handle so we can personally thank you!



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    How To Survive Vampire Bats & Ghost Twins with Alisha Gaddis Oct 18, 2022
    Show notes

    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive blood sucking vampire bats and our guest, the wonderful Alisha Gaddis, shares her experience staying in a haunted Cape Cod mansion.

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    How To Survive Hail Storms & A Blizzard with Andy Daly Oct 11, 2022
    Show notes

    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive hail storms and our guest, the hilarious Andy Daly, joins us to talk about the dramatic events of traveling through a blizzard!

    Everyone at HTS enjoyed the SNL season opening sketch with Miles Teller as Peyton Manning but don't expect us to pay for Peacock.

    Garon shared his feeling of ennui after seeing Bros, which Danielle and Kristine explain is the right feeling to have and is backed by research. Therefore, K&D are scientists.

    BIG NEWS! Tornadic is already a band, and you need to check them out. Trust us on this.

    Why isn't OH HAIL NO a movie? Hail can be very destructive, as Danielle shares in this episode. She also discusses the worst U.S. hail storm in history.

    Then it was time for our fabulous and hilarious guest, Andy Daly. Check out his podcast Bonanas For Bonanza



    Subscribe to our podcast: https://www.podhowtosurvive.com/

    Follow us:

    Website for even more detailed Show Notes! https://www.podhowtosurvive.com/

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/podhowtosurvive/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/podhowtosurvive

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podhowtosurvive

    Check out our merch!

    https://my-store-c409df-2.creator-spring.com/

    Leave us a review, and consider dropping your Twitter or IG handle so we can personally thank you!


    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    How To Survive Ghosts & Your Letters! Oct 04, 2022
    Show notes

    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive ghosts plus we're at last reading your letters!

    Subscribe to our podcast: https://www.podhowtosurvive.com/

    Follow us:

    Website for even more detailed Show Notes! https://www.podhowtosurvive.com/

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/podhowtosurvive/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/podhowtosurvive

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podhowtosurvive

    Check out our merch!

    https://my-store-c409df-2.creator-spring.com/

    Leave us a review, and consider dropping your Twitter or IG handle so we can personally thank you!

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


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