Heaving Bosoms

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Ep. 59 - Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large by Chuck Tingle Nov 19, 2018

Show notes

It’s the mostly tingly time of the year... That’s right everyone, we read CHUCK TINGLE! In this episode, we recap Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large and Space Raptor Butt Invasion. Can Mark handle his attraction to a mythical creature who’s a lawyer AND a doctor? Will Lance have to spend have to spend his entire time on the planet Zorbus alone, or will he be able to warm up the cold-blooded creature he meets there? Come with us on these journeys to self-discovery, new sexual horizons, and all the semen descriptions you might be able to handle. THEN, if you’re a patron, you get to hear us tell each other about two bonus stories! And, I always feel silly saying this because everything we do is explicit, but this one is EXPLICIT. The text demands and we deliver.

Bonus Content: THE WINNER OF THE BUBBLES AND BOOKS GIVEAWAY is Jennifer Sumner! Congrats, Jennifer! Melody tells everyone about officiating her friend's wedding, dancing her face off, and staying up until 3am like a kid... and the aftermath. We also get into the murky story of national treasure Dr. Chuck Tingle, Banksy of Erotica, why something is exponentially funnier if you aggressively include their professions in the description, the merits and demerits of sex against the window of the 72nd floor, and good goddess we hope all the descriptions of things being gay aren’t meant to be funny in a bad way. It feels too pure to be bad! It brings too much joy! And *Bing Boong Bong* Mythical Creature Safe Sex with Melody and Logistics with Erin.

Lady Love Recs:

Melody: Try a new fun thing called “Breakfast in Bath.” It’s far superior to Breakfast in Bed because you won’t drop crumbs in your sheets, you get all the bathtime relaxation you want, you start the day exfoliated, and it’s generally amazing. Erin is HORRIFIED, but we have very different bathtime strategies and outlooks.

Erin: ERIN NEEDS TO GET SOMETHING OFF HER CHEST. Forever ago, she rec’d a Bare Minerals lipstick that’s made with cocoa powder and NOBODY DID A GODDAMNED THING. Now there’s apparently a “cult lipstick” that Melody rec’d WAY LATER and it’s been quietly “grinding [her] gears.” Wait no, her Lady Love is an episode of Busy Tonight with Busy Philipps. On the episode with Emily Ratajkowski where they do a bit about the weirdest things women have ever found in their bras that had her DYING with laughter.

Patreon Shout-Outs:

Brandon S., you are a rare unicorn-centaur hybrid. Your unicorn lineage gives you the nobility, purity of heart, and sweetness of temperament which makes others crave our presence and respect. And your centaur side gives you wisdom and positivity in pursuits of both the mind and of the flesh. Regardless of your methods, you have an innate ability to make anyone feel wonderful about themselves and life in general

This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!

Website: bubblesandbooks.com

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/

Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance

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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Ep. 58 - The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands (PART 2) Nov 12, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's! This week on Heaving Bosoms we're finishing up our coverage of The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands! Are you on pins and needles about how he stealths her for the second time? Do you want to know who's trying to kill Saidh? Are you super invested in #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, or Melody's new addition #personhoodforMilly? WE HOPE SO. But, spoiler alert: you're only gonna get the first couple. Our hashtags sadly didn't trend in time for poor Fenella or Milly. But mostly Fenella.

Bonus Content: the Pastafarian Ministry and their successes, Melody's feel good vibes about her officiant dress in the cult, *Bing, Boong, Bong* Murder Times with Erin and Capital L Ladies with Melody, and a new turn of phrase, "did you crickets him?" That's right, we present a new verb: "to crickets."

IT'S GIVEAWAY WEEK! Bubbles and Books is offering a free monthly box to the lucky winner of our Heaving Bosoms Giveaway! Visit www.bubblesandbooks.com/bosoms to enter!!

Lady Loves:

Melody - Be okay with your well-reasoned choices, even if there's a lot of societal pressure saying that your decisions are antithetical to some role or status. Mel misses Ember, but she's also RELISHING the extra time she has while he's across the world being immersed in Mandarin and spending quality time with family.

Erin - SOUP. That's right. One word. SOUP. It's soup and stew season and we loves it. We'll post recipes this week!

Patreon Shout Out: Aasha M., you are a Greek Muse, a goddess of literature, science, the arts, and, in your case, so much more. You are the embodiment of inspiration, not just because of your positivity and supportiveness, but also because you lead by example. Whether is a career accomplishment, a creative flair, or the way you overcome hardship, those around you can learn a huge amount if they pay attention. While you're not boastful, you're also not stingy with the details of your process, so anyone can improve themselves just by being a member of your Greek choir, or at the very least, positioning themselves in your close orbit. And it should to without saying that your taste is impeccable, but I'll say it: you have impeccable taste.

This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!

Website: bubblesandbooks.com

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/

Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance

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Ep. 57 - The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands (PART 1) Nov 05, 2018

Show notes

Happy Monday, HB’s! This week we’re heading back in our fiction time machine to HIGHLANDER TIMES with The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands. Melody really loved this reading/listening experience. Erin would describe it as two sociopaths falling in love. If you like a Scottish Brogue combined with red hot sexy times, some murder, some intrigue, a whodunit, and a TRADITIONAL HIGHLANDER FINGERBANGING, then this book is for you!

Bonus Content: #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, *Bing Boong Bong* Murder Times with Erin, our thoughts on communication within relationships and/or life, many talks about “duckies,” and Mel speaking about her first time with the phrase “I knew a lot about sex, but I didn’t know how to enact the mechanics.”

Lady Love Recs:

Erin: People in the cult have started a weekly AMA thread called Ask A Badass because there are SO MANY BADASSES with cool jobs and interests in the cult! It’s amazing. Join and ask questions!

Melody: Follow the artists Karen Hallion and Brett Weldele on all the socials. They’re awesome!

Patreon Shout-Outs:

Jennifer S., you are the Hermes of Smut and Embracing your weird. Your particular wheelhouse is when something seems questionable on the surface, but will bring hours of joy, self-reflection, and giggles. You are clever, mischievous, and, most of all, heartfelt in your pursuits and relationships. Just like Hermes was a god with varying and vast responsibilities under his umbrella, your beneficence knows few bounds. What more can I say about the person who brought Grace Goodwin into our lives? You’re truly a treasure.

Alie S., you are a modern day acolyte of Artemis. You appreciate the forests and hills she governed and you’re a lover of animals, but you also apply her principles to your modern-day interests. You come to your pursuits with an excitement akin to wild abandon, and you’re always on the hunt for your next passion project. Meanwhile, the purity of focus you apply to your loved ones and the protective instincts you cultivate with children and those less fortunate than you would make your virginal, bow-carrying goddess proud. And just like the moon that Artemis loved, you have the ability to cast a soft, comforting glow on even the darkest situation.

This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!

Website: bubblesandbooks.com

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/

Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance

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Love the show? Leave a review!

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Ep. 56 - Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert Oct 29, 2018

Show notes

Happy Halloween Week, HB's! This week we're coming at you with a sexy, spooky special: Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. We've got a devoted Werewolf who just wants to impress his mate, and a bloodthirsty Huntress who's determined to prove her ability to slice and dice... her aforementioned mate. It's DELICIOUS!

Also, Talia, we're serious: did they, or did they not, eyeball that fingerbang?

Bonus Content:

*Bing Boong Bong* Culture Time with Erin and Melody, our thoughts on where you should and shouldn't commit a murder (psssst! Not at your house!), Erin's Blueberry Muffin Missile, the merits of going into a fight without underwear, more of Erin's thoughts on food in the bedroom, werewolf erections, tricksie witches, an Ember cameo, Dana Scully is Erin's Halloween Minion, and so much more!

Lady Love: Melody - When you can, communicate via video instead of just print or audio. It's WONDERFUL.

Patreon Shout Out:

Megan, you are a Selkie, a shape-shifting protector who can seamlessly transition from culture to culture, place to place, with a quick shedding or redonning of your seal skin. Your gentle, protective instincts make you a natural mentor and valued friend, and your beauty shines from the inside out. Though you may be naturally introverted, your strong sense of loyalty allows you to thrive in large groups, just like a regular seal. And your bark, when employed, can change even the most recalcitrant among us.

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Ep. 55 - 1 Year Anniversary Episode!! Oct 22, 2018

Show notes

IT'S BEEN A YEAR!!!!!!! We're so excited! In this episode we go through some listener emails, do a couple of Melody's Kryptonite: Top 5 Lists, and generally talk romance, the podcast, the cult, and YOU! Thank you so much to all you listeners, all you patrons, and everyone who has made this past year so amazing for us!

Bonus Content: Top 5 Heroes of books read on the podcast, Top 5 fictional characters overall, romance as escape, therapy, and a reminder that your feelings and emotional landscape are valid and important, why Melody would be the worst (best?) Bachelorette ever, How the podcast has helped us this year, Funny listener stories, TONKU revisited, our top snacks, How Erin met David, advice for people who are scared of starting or releasing a new creative project, and SO MUCH MORE!

Patreon Shout Out:

Christine D. you are a centaur from Chiron's line. While most centaurs are known for being ruled purely by their animal nature, Chiron the wise, teacher of Achilles, is where you get your lineage. Thus, you possess the best of both. You have the intuition of a healer and scholar, yet you're not afraid to partake in the pleasures this world has to offer. Your robust physiology makes you magnetic and your empathetic, quick-witted, herd-loving mind makes you a treasure your friends and family cherish.

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Ep. 54 - The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata (PART 2) Oct 16, 2018

Show notes

Hey y'all! Thanks for your patience and understanding! Here's the wrap-up of our convo about The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. As Erin puts it, its the tale of two never-nudes who enter into a marriage of convenience, or, a slow burn with... very little burning?

Bonus content: Comic Con NYC, essential oils, Erin's engagement photos, our thoughts on who a guy is REALLY assaulting another dude for in "your name" (hint: it's never actually about you), the downside to Michael always thinking Melody is pretty, and new segments *BING BOONG BONG* Minions with Erin and Running Long Distances with Erin and Melody.

Self-Love Recommendations:

Erin: SPANX MADE JEANS. If you like hugs for your butt, spend the money. Also, Lifetime movies. If you've forgotten their glory, treat yourself!

Melody: Maybelline Super Stay Matte Lip. It's so good!

Patreon Shout Out: Mirandia, you are a maenad who has grown bored of Dionysus and has set off for the altar of Athena. While you have little care for the war strategy she governs, you bring the same amount of mirth and frivolity to the worship of wisdom and art that you did while dancing naked with your maenad sisters under falls of wine. You have an innate sense of good taste and joy that's only strengthened by your commitment to building a safe, wonderful environment for your babies to flourish.

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Ep. 53 - The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata (PART 1) Oct 08, 2018

Show notes

This week, in part one, we cover The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. It's a "slow burn" with a former personal assistant turned full-time graphic designer and the Canadian football star who wants her back in his employ.. or life? Will they get together after a scheme to commit marriage fraud together?

This is, indeed, a slow burn. Emphasis on slow? We... tried to love this novel. And it didn't quite work.

Bonus Content: Curly girl tricks, *bing, boong, bong* Antihistamines with Erin, and so much more!

Lady Loves:

Melody - while trying to commit to bullet journaling, Melody has tried to enact the idea that something doesn't have to be perfect or beautiful, just useful. Do something against your nature and don't punish yourself if yours doesn't look like the youtube artist's.

Erin - LOVE FALL if that's what you love. More than that, keep loving what you love without apology and without fear of being called "basic" or whatever else people throw your way. Fuck 'em.

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Ep. 52 - A Princess In Theory by Alyssa Cole (PART 2) Oct 01, 2018

Show notes

This week we finish up our discussion of A Princess in Theory by Alyssa Cole. Part 2 takes place IN THESOLO! Can Ledi solve the puzzle of the disease outbreak while learning more about her homeland and, perhaps, taking her place as it's future queen? Can we handle Thabiso's disney eyes and talk of happy endings? Can we handle the cave sex?

Bonus Content:

Erin's at-home London Fog, a quick discussion called "what are lattes," one woman shows, the most romantic socks EVER, Melody's theory that donkeys with literally any name are funny and adorable, Alaskan cattle drives are still not a thing, and so much more.

Self-Love Recommendation:

Melody - Pay attention to the ping pong balls (the things necessary to make you a happy, well-adjusted person) in your life and make sure you start with those. If you start with the jelly beans and sand, you'll have no time for the things in life that are essential to your happiness. https://www.facebook.com/viralmotion/videos/a-teacher-taught-his-students-a-valuable-lesson-about-life/1378315445631232/

Erin - Bare Minerals new matte lipstick that's infused with cocoa powder!

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Ep. 51 - A Princess In Theory by Alyssa Cole (PART 1) Sep 24, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's! We're here with Part 1 of Alyssa Cole's A Princess In Theory. It's Book 1 of her Reluctant Royals series and SUCH A GREAT READ. We've got Naledi Smith, a public health grad student with 3 jobs and a good head on her shoulders because she was a life-long foster kid and knows she can only rely on herself. Then there's Thabiso Moshoeshoe, her long-lost betrothed, an African Prince, and a person she's never even heard of. He's determined to find out why her family disappeared and was never heard from again, but when Naledi mistakes him for just a regular guy, Thabiso embarks on an elaborate plot in the name of getting to know her better.

Bonus Content: Ember says goddamnit in front of his grandmother! We geek out over getting a DM response from THE ALYSSA COLE, Erin stumbles into the phrase "oiled up toddlers" (YEESH), Erin's tale of quitting dramatically, we swoon over the idea of experimenting with the tensile pressure of a beard on thighs, Melody waxes poetic about her Sex Ed Boner, Self-Assurance Boner, and Competency Boner. Erin worries about garlic, sleepy kisses. Melody expounds on the merits of a hot guy with a matriarchal religion. And Melody and Erin talk about the first "I love you's" they heard from their beaus. This is a doozy!

Lady Loves:

Melody: making friends as an adult is hard. So, if you meet someone you think you might connect with, do your best to push past the first few awkward pauses and see if there's something there! Melody met a woman who might turn out to be a great friend, but she wanted to take the escape hatch at every pause in their first conversation.

Erin: READ THIS BOOK.

Patreon Shout Out:

Haley J., you are a Naiad. A demi-goddess who makes her home in fresh water. Like the spring you inhabit, you're energetic, bubbly, and crucial to the well-being of those around you. A rich, vibrant, serene home-life is incredibly important to our vitality, so you're careful to curate a space and environment which allows you to thrive and stay inspired. Nurturing, beautiful, and protective, your nature is to give of yourself and your intellect needs to be fed like the plants that surround your lush space.

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Ep. 50 - Interview with Tessa Dare Sep 17, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's! This week we're all getting treated with an interview with Tessa Dare! We chat about her new release The Governess Game, as well as her upcoming anthology How the Dukes Stole Christmas, her as a writer, reader, and political being.

There's more about duck sex, themes in The Governess Game like healing and grief, education, early childhood development, learning through play, inspiration from her own life, amazing women she's come across in her research, her auto-buy authors as a reader, her trope catnip, and so much more.

Authors and works mentioned:

- A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult (out Oct. 2, 2018)

- Cat Sebastian

Self-Love Recommendations:

Melody - Try to practice constructive communication when you're in a conflict with a loved one and don't be afraid to advocate for yourself for that from other people. We get so caught up in wanting to be right and heard that we can lose sight of the feelings of others really quickly. So, if you need to process extra crap with someone, ask yourself, does it really need to be the person I'm in conflict with, or can my extraneous feelings be processed elsewhere?

Tessa - Learn a new skill....like making cocktails! She hosted a party at her house recently and had to take over the bar when the bartender was late. She had so much fun learning new cocktails for the guest's orders and gaining a new party trick.

Check out Tessa's interview with The Wicked Wallflowers Club as well. And special thanks to Jenny for her guidance about long-distance recording with a guest!

https://wickedwallflowersclub.com/

Instagram: @wckdwallflowers

Twitter: @wckdwallflowers

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