Heaving Bosoms

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Ep. 39 - Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin Jul 02, 2018

Show notes

Hey listener! Did you put on your big kid underwear? WELL, GET READY TO TAKE IT OFF. Ok, it's already getting weird. Gotta set the tone....

This week we read Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin and it was an amazing, wild ride. Aliens have landed and sworn their protection from THE HIVE but, in return, they need soldiers for the front lines and they want brides for their soldiers. Enter Amanda Bryant, a seasoned spy who becomes the first in Earth's Interstellar Bride Program and needs to confirm the threat from The Hive is real and send back any and all intel and technology back to her superiors, all while not getting distracted by her two new, hot mates. That's right: TWO MATES! Will she be able to keep her heart from two warriors who want to share their love and devotion with her? Is appeasing her government really the best course of action? Can we do all of this with magical, orgasm-inducing semen as a factor? Are you ready for the Anal Training Box? Can we get a little more double-penetration up in here? Can I please have my own poop robot?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT QUESTION TO PRIORITIZE.

Bonus Content:

Erin remembers and becomes obsessed with the 1988 classic "Earth Girls are Easy" with Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans. It's a recurring theme. Erin recalls the time that eHarmony told her she had literally ZERO matches. No one at all in all the internet. We talk a lot about the merits of a good spy, what's appropriate for a medical examination after you've been reduced to pure energy, beamed across the universe, and then reassembled. We wonder how quiet a poop robot can really be, and generally squee over this book and all it's glory. We also have a hard time choosing a sign off, so you get them all! See our process in action!

Random Erin Rec: The Demonica Series by Larissa Ione. If you like an incubus, check it out!

Self-Love Recommendations:

Erin: Queer Eye Season 2 on Netflix. Watch it and cry with joy and goodness.

Melody: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Watch it and remember how funny and capable and fabulous you are.

Housekeeping: Patreon fam, please send us your mailing addresses! We wants to send you goodies!

If you haven't yet, please head over to Apple Podcasts and rate and review us! If you give us a 5 star review we will cover whatever book you recommend!

Also follow us on all the things!

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast (page) and The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult (group)

Email: heavingbosomspodcast@gmail.com

Website: www.heavingbosomspodcast.com

Whew! Enjoy!

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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Ep. 38 - After the Wedding by Courtney Milan Jun 25, 2018

Show notes

Hey Commuters! Get ready for this super-sized episode! We read After the Wedding by Courtney Milan! He's a biracial, unrecognized nephew of an Earl. She's a Lady with a tragic past and a refusal to give up hope for lasting happiness. They're inexplicably set up and married at gunpoint by two members of the clergy! Can they find out how much they're worth while unraveling the mystery and proving the legitimacy of their annulment claim? Will they put everything to the test and choose each other forever? IT'S GODDAMNED GORGEOUS.

Bonus Content: How much does Erin love the sound of her own voice? Melody's strenuous preschool arts and crafts project. Adventures in childhood hair cuttery. Pride corner with Erin and Melody. Erin's new confusion over #15 from Team USA. Erin's longstanding obsession with the plural of octopus, and the revolution it saw in the English Language. And.. is this finally the thing she can bond with Courtney Milan over IRL? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

PATREON SHOUT OUTS!

Liz S. - You are a benevolent Fury who uses her considerable power and prowess for only the best intentions and outcomes. And Erin says you're a Harpy in the best sense of the word :)

Jacqueline W. - You are a phenomenal Siren who has used her voice to bring so many unsuspecting sailors to Heaving Bosoms Island. The beauty of your voice is matched only by the beauty of your mind and spirit.

Kellie P. - You are a loving Pegasus who holds so much on her shoulders with such grace ans surety. Plus, you're so much fucking fun.

Self-Love Recommendations:

Melody - commit to yourself again if you need to. I haven't been doing nearly enough of the self care routine that keeps me content, so let's do it together. Get your facemask on, get back to the gym, drink your coffee in the sun, whatever you've been slacking on that's good for YOU, get to it.

Erin - "The sun is warm and the grass is green." When you're feeling overwhelmed, just repeat that to yourself to become grounded again. If it's good enough for both Mr. Miyagi and Courtney Milan, it's good enough for us.

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Ep. 37 - Interview with Sarah MacLean for Wicked and the Wallflower Jun 18, 2018

Show notes

Hey Esteemed Listener!!! We have a very special episode this week: an interview with author Sarah MacLean! Sarah is a best selling romance author, romance columnist, two time RITA Award winner, advocate, and hugely celebrated lady we have big crushes on.

In this episode Melody got to sit down with Sarah to discuss her new book Wicked and the Wallflower, book 1 of her new Bareknuckle Bastard series, which comes out on June 19, 2018 (TOMORROW!!!!). She talks all about her inspiration for the Bareknuckle Bastard series, the parts of Englandtimes she's uncovering by stepping out of the traditional ballroom setting, and the themes of Wicked and the Wallflower.

We talk her research and writing process and learn all about Ada Lovelace, who is a Regency Era woman who is widely known for being the world's first computer programmer and a mathematician, but is also LORD BYRON'S DAUGHTER. Whhhaaaaattttt?

And of course we chatted about feminism in romance, how that impacts historical accuracy (spoiler: not much), and Sarah's tribe within the writing community.

As an added bonus, while discussing her reading catnip, Sarah recommends novels we should read, as she is wont to do:

Priest by Sierra Simone

The Unrequited by Saffron Kent

Unlocked by Courtney Milan (Novella)

Never Sweeter by Charlotte Stein

The Player by Kresley Cole

Don't worry, y'all, her love of Tom Hardy comes up, too!

Self-Love Recommendations:

Sarah: Fresh Cosmetics in general, but they do an eye cream that makes her super happy.

Melody: Try to overcome imposter syndrome whenever you can. If you can, you could find yourself sitting across a table from SARAH MACLEAN. **Squeeeeee!**

Be sure to get Wicked and the Wallflower for a delicious Englandtimes read that steps outside of the normal ballroom setting and into the streets of London. It's a tale of outsiders, has a bad-ass lady lockpick heroine, a scarred, deep hero named DEVIL, and all the plotting you could wish for. Plus, all the tingles in your bathing suit parts.

Check out her website and social media! Her website has an INCREDIBLE list of over 180 romance novels she recommends.

www.sarahmaclean.net

Twitter: @sarahmaclean

Instagram: @sarahmaclean

Facebook: facebook.com/SarahMacLean

www.heavingbosomspodcast.com

Twitter: @Heaving_Bosoms

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Facebook GROUP: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult

Thank you for being AMAZING and creating such a fun community. We love you dearly.

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Ep. 36 - The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston (PART 2) Jun 11, 2018

Show notes

Hold onto your butts while we finish up The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston! There's talon sex, there are fights, there are dream demons, there's an avenging crow dog with a metal muzzle, there's A LITERAL TRIP TO VALHALLA, and all the juicy, sweet, straightforward romance a person could ask for. Have you ever thought to yourself "a doggy door could be the catalyst to my proclamation of love"? Neither had Vig or Kera, but it's the sweetest thing ever.

Bonus Content: COCKYGATE, the (s)heroics of Penny Reid, Army Combat Water Survival AKA Never Volunteer for Anything In Army, beehive coups, and much more!

Self Love Recommendations:

Erin: Get yourself some plants. Or some MORE plants! Erin hit the motherload at a garage sale the other day and filled her house with a bunch of 40 year old plants who have known nothing but love. Bliss.

Melody: Seek out something you loved in your childhood and re-experience it. She watched the Phantom of the Opera movie because it was randomly added to Netflix and she remembered an old love.

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Ep. 35 - The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston (PART 1) Jun 04, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's! We're back this week with Part 1 of The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston. It's a paranormal romance complete with modern-day vikings and the gods who command them, a persnickety former marine back from death, and a big hunk of disheveled man who's been low-key wooing her for 18 months.... so low-key she doesn't notice. PLUS, there's something ancient that's waiting to be unleashed! WHAT IS IT.

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Ep. 34 - The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie (PART 2) May 28, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's! Here's part two of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. In addition to the culmination of Abby and Max's tale, we've got another round of the "Big Stab vs. Big Slash" debate (in which Melody also comes out the WINNER), some earth-shattering Pride and Prejudice confessions, and more thoughts on EnglandTimes Wokeness (#englandtimeswoke). Come get companionably drunk with us, in a figurative sense, and shout from the rooftops our new favorite life motto: "spare me the thought processes of men!" Lady Bea, you're an international treasure and the definition of #goals.

Self-Love Recommendations:

Erin - hide your gummy vitamins from yourself lest you end up with sores due to vitamin A poisoning. Or, you know, maybe invest in some fucking food on a semi-regular basis.

Melody: Get thee outside! A morning exploring the park, weeding the yard, and eating breakfast outside is such an amazing start to the day!

Now, HB's, in the words of our dear Daisy, "go on and let the nice man compromise you. You know you want to."

Also featured: a podcast you might love, The Feminine Mistake Podcast! Three comedy writers sit down with a guest to look at the current state of women in the industry and how female characters are portrayed in film and television. This month they're chatting about I Feel Pretty!

http://feminine-mistake-pod.blubrry.net/

Instagram: @FemMistakePod

Twitter: @FemMistakePod

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Ep. 33 - The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie (PART 1) May 21, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's! We're here for Part 1 of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. It's a beautiful tale full of sisterhood and lady love, in addition to all the fabulous romance. Abby Chantry and her adopted sisters are down on their luck when they happen upon a Lady in just as much need, then her nephew arrives unexpectedly and SPARKS FLY. Delicious.

Bonus Content: Over reacting to regular thing and owning it, the power of Chewy Bars and DoubleTree Cookies, the merits of locking up food, Erin's terrible memory, literally ALL the instruments Erin played in High School and the boys who inspired each, *bing boong bong* Combat Medicine with Erin, and SO MUCH MORE.

Self-Love Recommendations:

Erin: Are you in a hair color crisis? Maybe take her lead and spend some time with your roots. On your whole head.

Melody: Having tummy trouble? Lipton makes "Soothe Your Tummy" tea that was made for you!

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Ep. 32 - Take the Lead by Alexis Daria May 14, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's this week we read Take the Lead by Alexis Daria! It's a reluctant romance set on a celebrity dance show. Gina Morales is the pro dancer in charge of making hulking Alaskan bushman Stone Nielson into a light-footed showboat. She's pressured to give the people a "showmance" and he just wants to get back to chopping wood while shirtless, ok?! Will their love prevail?

Bonus Content: Goat was sick!, booty popping Zumba class, Jane the Virgin, that time Melody cut a goodbye short because she decided to double-fist chicken drumsticks, we think massage is a great prelude to sex, everyone we cast our minds, and so much more!

Self-Love Recommendations:

Erin: Jane the Virgin and sugar lip scrubs

Melody: Take a hip-hop Zumba class and feel like Beyonce herself!

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Ep. 31 - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (PART 2) May 07, 2018

Show notes

Hey HB's! Sorry for the slight delay! This is Part 2 of Sally Thorne's The Hating Game! We're jumping back into Lucy's sickbed and you get to hear all about how much Melody hates the other guy who's into Lucy and all the reasons WHYYYY. Spoiler Alert: we hate "nice" guys. But, our former enemies are about to get even cozier, so we're happy little clams.

Bonus Content: more Slytherin and Hufflepuff magic, fever stories, a little game you can play in the ER called "find the blood," Melody's evolving life mottos, and so much more!

Self-Love Recommendations:

Melody: Invest in your body somehow this week. You only get the one and all our systems, body-mind-soul are connected. So love your body as much as you love yourself. AKA "MELODY SCHEDULE THE DENTIST ALREADY."

Erin: P!NK! Get on it. She's so empowering and talented and amazing. Google her Grammy and AMA performances from years past and feel ferocious through her.

http://feminine-mistake-pod.blubrry.net/

Instagram: @FemMistakePod

Twitter: @FemMistakePod

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Ep. 30 - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (PART 1) Apr 30, 2018

Show notes

Hey HBs! And Flamethrowers! Five of you spoke and we listened, so here's Part 1 of The Hating Game by Sally Thorne! We wanted to do this in one episode, but the squee was TOO STRONG!

Join us for this quirky, fun, completely believable enemies-to-lovers story, which starts in the workplace (!!). It's got depth and such excellent writing that it made Melody come back 5 literal times.

Bonus Content: A rousing discussion of Hogwarts Houses, Mel’s obsession with paintball as well as her legendary Duck Hunt prowess, vomiting in cabs, HYDRATION, and an unlikely segment, Fashion with Erin.

Self Love Recommendations:

Erin: Join the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult because there's a big ol' thread with tons of listener self-love recommendations!

Melody: If you feel like you need a boost, the tips of your hair is a great place to put essential oils so the scents float around your face all day. Just make sure to stay away from drying/astringent oils like Tee Tree and Eucalyptus.

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