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    Arts

    Heaving Bosoms

    Melody Carlisle and Sabrina Bradley love romance and they do it out loud! Every Monday, these long-distance best friends recap romance novels from a comedic, intersectional feminist, sex-positive perspective.
    If you’re itching for a BFF book club or just love raucous slumber party vibes, this is the show for you! Whether you’ve read the book or not, all are welcome! Giggling, tangents, and sincere joy abound.

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    Copyright: © Copyright 2023 Heaving Bosoms Productions

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    Latest Episodes:
    Ep. 79 - The Cutting Edge with Erin and Cole, via The Cigarette Burns Podcast Apr 08, 2019
    Show notes

    Hey HB's! Erin joined cult favorite Cole on his podcast to recap the best rom com of all time, The Cutting Edge. As a former competitive figure skater and semi-professional podcaster, Erin jumps right in and tells Cole what he’s been getting wrong in the podcast (a lot), drops scorching hot takes, and gives you all the on-the-ice details you need. Don't worry guys, she's only seen this movie at least 185 times and she STILL took detailed notes. Listen to just how deadly the “Pamchenko Twist” is, why Olympic figure skating shouldn’t be done in the dark, and Erin’s theory about Terry O’Quinn’s acting method (hint: it all starts with facial hair). “Toepiiiiiiiiick!!!!"

    Follow the Cigarette Burns Pod on social media! Instagram and Twitter: @cigburnspod

    Thank you to all of our patrons! If you want to join the ranks head to https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast

    Thank you to everyone who's subscribed, rated, and reviewed! It helps us so much!

    Follow us on social media!

    Instagram: @heavingbosoms

    Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

    Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast

    Closed Facebook Group: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult

    www.heavingbosomspodcast.com

    Patreon Shout Out:

    Sarah B., you are Thalia, one of the Graces, and the goddess of Festivity and Banquets. You have a warm, enthusiastic personality, and a smile that can light up any room. While not in the mood to entertain all the time, you still use your welcoming effervescence to put anyone you come in contact with at ease. You have a deep well of love and your friends really appreciate the way you tailor your affection to suit each and every one individually.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 78 - Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell (PART 2) Apr 01, 2019
    Show notes

    Hey HB's! Happy Monday! Are you ready for the conclusion of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell? The slow burn is about to pay off! Plus, this excellent romance turns into an all-out action movie we want to see.

    Bonus Content:

    Melody's serious face, hair falling out by the fistful, the Chris EVANS Mountain Lodge candle from Yankee Candle, all of the amazing and hilarious cult videos about the candle, don't you dare touch our spanx, the well-known Constantinople Wagon, a Colorado acre, Snoot Boopers: Equine Edition, and so much more!

    Sponsored by Through the Red Door by Sadira Stone! You can find her debut contemporary novel on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Googleplay, Overdrive, Kobo, and iTunes!

    Description:

    Letting him inside could be her salvation…or her undoing.

    Clara Martelli clings to Book Nirvana, the Oregon bookshop she and her late husband Jared built together. When rising rents and corporate competition threaten its survival, her best hope is their extensive erotica collection, locked behind a red door. In dreams and signs, her dead husband tells her it's time to open that door and move on. When a dark and handsome stranger's powerful magnetism jolts her back to life and he wants a look at the treasures of that secret room, she can't help but want to show him more.

    Professor Nick Papadopoulos is looking for historical erotica. Book Nirvana's collection surpasses his wildest dreams, and so does its lovely owner. A widower, he understands Clara's battle with guilt, but their searing chemistry is too strong to resist. Besides, he will only be in town for two weeks, not long enough for her to see beyond the scandal that haunts his past.

    Patreon Shout Out!

    Shante G., you are an acolyte of Iris, Greek goddess of the Rainbow and messenger for the gods. Just like Iris, your specialty is helping people get their messages out to the world, helping them curate their ideas to have the most impact. But, lady, you do it with passion and pizzazz. You bring the full spectrum of verve to everything you do, because you can’t help but be the personification of a rainbow. For many coastal-dwelling Greeks, rainbows would appear to arc from the ocean up into the clouds, so they believed that Iris replenished the rain clouds with water. Just like her, you rejuvenate everyone you come in contact with because of your positivity and love.

    Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. And follow us on all the socials!

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 77 - Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell (PART 1) Mar 25, 2019
    Show notes

    Hey HB's! This here is Part 1 of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell. We've got an interracial relationship which starts with a traumatic shotgun wedding, a slow-burn romance that pays off (in our next episode), and so much action and world-building we couldn't do it all justice. This book is an excellent western and an excellent romance, but we have some content warnings! There are depictions of assault, sexual assault, animal abuse, racism, and more.

    Bonus Content: Alaskan minigolf and a hibachi engagement, new time period thanks to HB Fanny - Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Times!, Melody gets a visceral education about the word mongrel, cowboy leans, Erin has udder questions, Melody brings the club to the country with abs, abs, abs, DICK!, Melody decides that Hapa is an acceptable term to use for the hero, who is half Native American, half white, because that's the accepted and celebrated term she grew up with in Hawaii for mixed-race babies and what she calls her own children, hilarious practical jokes in Dr. Quinn Times, how we imagine Ann C. listens to the podcast, and so much more.

    Self-Love Recommendations:

    Erin: You can curl your hair with a skinny strightening iron!

    Melody: SPF - get it on your face.

    Episode Sponsor:

    Bubbles and Books!

    Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

    Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"

    Instagram

    Pintrest

    Twitter

    Patreon Shout Out!

    Bethany M., you are smiled upon by Hi'iaka, the Hawaiian goddess of hula, chants, sorcery, and medicine. Hi'iaka was known for her loyalty, dedication, kindness, and bravery. Like her, you will take up perilous quests for those you love, whether they deserve it or not. Hi'iaka helped the people of Hawaii express themselves through hula and song and you similarly use your technological skills to do the same. And if she had bluetooth, you bet believe there would have been more than one mishap as she consumed her smut. Most of all, you're beautiful on the inside and out, and will be rewarded just as she was.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 76 - The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory Mar 18, 2019
    Show notes

    Hey HB's! We're here with The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory. It's a contemporary, BWWM romance that's... mostly about donuts and coffee? THAT'S UNFAIR. Listen, we really wanted to love this one and we didn't.

    BONUS CONTENT: Hey skippers! You're in luck because Erin is over banter. Melody might be extra critical because she's acclimating to her hormonal IUD, but she doesn't think that's the problem. Awkwardness that can happen in interracial relationships, illegible muppet notes, has Erin been to her own wedding?, Michael's secret Toy Story obsession, bathroom trips with friends new and old, that one wedding where Erin was double-fisting double gins and Melody was heaping dairy on her plate (intolerance be damned), tip-of-the-nose-kissing gets a boop on the snoot, Snoot Boopers: a new show for dogs, *BING BOONG BONG* HIPAA Violations with Erin, and the problem with depictions of body issues with no orgasmic band-aid.

    We mention Black Chick Lit Podcast and Lacey's GoodReads review of The Proposal! Check them both out! Twitter: @blackchicklit, Instagram: @bclpodcast

    Not Your Mom's Romance Book Club also has a review about this novel! Twitter and Instagram: @notyourmomsrom

    Self Love Recommendations:

    Melody: don't feel bad about DNFing a book. Read something you know you'll love like I did with Surrender to Sin and The Devil's Submission by Nicola Davidson.

    Erin: You guys there's this new show called Snoot Boopers that's a riot and a half. So if you're a dog in a TV rut, check that nonsense out!

    Episode Sponsor:

    Bubbles and Books!

    Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

    Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"

    Instagram

    Pintrest

    Twitter

    Patreon Shout Out!

    Sarah E., you are a Ghost Writer. No, not someone who helps authors finish their manuscripts, but rather a shy, friendly ghost that rearranges text to solve cozy mysteries, correct grammar, help children learn, and basically make everything better. Ghost writers are known to travel through time, illuminating historical texts for today’s readers and giving new voice to history. They are known to hang out with Jamal, Gabby and the gang in Brooklyn in 1995, but also curled up with a cup of tea and a feline companion when not on the job. In related news, boy, do we hope you watched the American kids TV show, Ghostwriter.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 75 - A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas (PART 2) Mar 11, 2019
    Show notes

    It's our 75th episode and we're here for the conclusion of A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! Feyre and Rhysand are working together, spying badly, dry humping in the Court of Nightmares, and FALLING LURVE FOREVER.

    Bonus Content: Pleasure Barges, Scrotal Wings, IUD's, Bing Boong Bong Immortality Bathtubs with Erin, and so much more.

    Lady Loves:

    Erin: The Shkoop! A staple of arctic fashion.

    Melody: Get yourself some clothes that fit. Waiting until you lose that X amount of lbs and fit into your pants again just makes you needlessly feel terrible about yourself. Dress the body you've got because it's wonderful and gorgeous and good to you.

    Check out out PATREON to see all the awesome benefits you can get by supporting us!

    Patreon Shout Out!

    Ashley M., you are the Loch Ness Monster. Hear us out. Deep in what appears to be a quiet sea of cubicles, lurks an HB with some serious smut in her headphones. Like Nessie, you are more than happy to submerge with a good book or reality show for a few hundred years, and you only show your scales when absolutely necessary – to stand up for what you believe in, or to protect your beloved home, family, and furbabies. Most of all, like the magical, immortal creature of the Loch, you are absolutely one of a kind.

    Want to advertise on the podcast? Email heavingbosomspodcast@gmail.com for our rates!

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 74 - A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas (PART 1) Mar 04, 2019
    Show notes

    Hey HB's!! IT'S TIME! We're finally talking about A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! It's book 2 of her Court of Thorns and Roses Series. We've got Feyre out from under the mountain and engaged to that dumb dummy Tamlin, but not for long! Then it's all night court all the time.

    SKIPPERS! Skip to 20:35 if you want to get straight to the book. You're gonna miss out on Ripped Bodice, though.

    Bonus Content: Blood sharing, new names for book 1, Erin's Pilgrimage to The Ripped Bodice, Sexy Night King sexiness, "Schmerger," Spring Court: The Taint of Fairyland, Erin still refuses to learn or remember names, #feministfaeisbae, Bing Boong Bong Tamlin's Not that Bad with Erin, Bing Boong Bong Tamlin is a Big Dumb Dummy with Melody, Water Wraith Drummer Boys, and the best, most delicious Brownie Batter metaphor you've ever heard. YUM.

    Self Love Recommendations: Erin: The Magicians Season 4 and Little Italy, a terribly wonderful movie on Amazon Prime

    Melody: Big Mouth Season 2 and "We're all a little broken, that's how the light gets in"

    Episode Sponsor:

    Bubbles and Books!

    Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

    Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"

    Instagram

    Pintrest

    Twitter

    Patreon Shout Out!

    Blair B., you are a Basilisk. You are a great serpent queen with a deadly glare, turning lesser beings to stone with just one glance. Leaving deadly venom in your wake for all those deserving of your ire, you are one badass lady. According to our online research, you only have two weaknesses: the odor of weasels (weird, right?) and preteen Gryffindors, so watch out for that. Otherwise, you are pretty much the queen of everything.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 73 - The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson Feb 25, 2019
    Show notes

    Erin and Melody discuss The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson. It's a DELICIOUS England Times/Highlander Times 2nd chance love story between a burly Highlander and the lass he thought was dead. There's also the pleasure club he owns, the pleasure club she's helping to open by spying on him, excellent side characters, betrayal, and sexy exhibitionism!

    Bonus Content:

    Mel talks about experiencing postpartum anxiety, Erin woke up feeling REAL ok with not having any responsibility this morning, apple tarts, Prince Thabiso makes a cameo, flirting via cakes, awarding the Heaving Bosoms Cunt Award, highlander hair salon dreams, PIRATE QUEENS, sexy theater directions, Sexy Pied Pipers, and so much more!

    Lady Loves:

    Erin: The Spanx Pillow Cup Signature Pushup Plunge Bra. It's got memory foam cups!

    Melody: Take care of yourself, forgive yourself, and don't forget to do something you love, even when you're not quite feeling up to it. Your day will improve!

    Episode Sponsor:

    Bubbles and Books!

    Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

    Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"

    Instagram

    Pintrest

    Twitter

    Patreon Shout Out!

    Dani R., you are a Manticore. With the body of a great cat, the spiny tail of a scorpion, and the face of a beautiful woman, you are known for your ability to be many things at once – majestic, snuggly, cunning, lethal, and of course, drop dead gorgeous. A worldly being, you have components from Egypt, Persia, and India, picking up knowledge and skills wherever you go. Sure, you also eat human flesh, but we’re sure it’s only when you got reasons.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 72 - Tikka Chance On Me by Suleikha Snyder Feb 18, 2019
    Show notes

    Hey HB's! This week Erin is telling Melody all about Tikka Chance On Me by Suleikha Snyder. It's a delicious novella about a motorcycle club enforcer (or so we think!) and the dutiful daughter working at her parent's Indian restaurant. After months of eyeboning, they learn that the only thing this Chris Evans lookalike might love more than samosas is the Heroine.

    Bonus Content:

    Sing Movie takeover, the Lunar Eclypse in Alaska, Doggy Genetics, how we'd handle a cease and desist order (with champagne!), and the fact that we can't handle it when Romancelandia is angry.

    Lady Loves:

    Erin - Schitt's Creek. Come for the Canadian sitcom, but stay for the best portrayal of a gay romance that she's seen in a while.

    Melody - the band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes! If you love dancing like a fool to punk covers of great songs, these cats are for you! They're happiness in your speakers.

    Patreon Shout Out:

    This is a gifted shout out from Susan. Sarah R., you are descended from Maui, the great demigod if Polynesia. Maui was a trickster, a creator, and a survivor. Like Maui, you are beloved for your selfless sense of caring and protection. Maui pulled the Hawaiian islands from the bottom of the ocean and defeated Tuna The Long Eel; similarly, you will bend over backwards to make miracles happen for those you love. And the trickster isn’t quite out of your system. Your red hot sense of humor keeps everyone in belly laughs, and in check, when you’re in their orbit. Maui was dedicated to making the world a better place for all humans and that lives on in you. Your commitment to serving our country, your family, your rescue animals, and your tireless, sometimes biting positivity make him proud. And on a very personal and immediate level: Lady, you’ve got an entire cult, an entire coven behind you. Your light cannot be diminished.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 71 - Maternity Leave Roundup Feb 11, 2019
    Show notes

    We're BAAAAAAAAACK! It's Erin. It's Melody. TOGETHER AGAIN! In this episode we chat a bit about what we did over maternity leave, but mostly we talk about all about the books we read (listed below) and the 2019 HB Reading Embrace!

    - Merry Inkmas by Talia Hibbert

    - A Girl Like Her by Talia Hibbert

    - Untouchable: A Small Town Romance by Talia Hibbert

    - Just For Him Complete Series by Talia Hibbert

    - Dare to Love a Duke by Eva Leigh

    - Fair, Bright, and Terrible by Elizabeth Kingston

    - A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

    - A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

    - Once Ghosted, Twice Shy by Alyssa Cole

    - The Scarlett Letters: My Secret Year of Men in an LA Dungeon by Jenny Nordbak

    - Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter

    Bonus Content:

    Breastfeeding friendship mishaps because Valor is a special guest!

    Patreon Shout Out:

    Kathy, you are descended from the Hippocampus; the half horse, half sea creature who was often depicted pulling Poseidon's chariot. Like the Hippocampus, you're graceful and agile, if not always physically, definitely mentally. Your conversation flows due to your creativity, imagination, and easy empathy. Your pack animal ancestor was known to live deep in the ocean, away from the tumult of the surface and, likewise, you crave time in your refuge to recharge, soaking up the tranquility and loyalty of your inner circle. Sailors considered the Hippocampus a good omen because they were a gentle, care-taking creature. Those qualities are reflected in your deep, soulful eyes, while the sparkle and fine laugh lines are a reflection of the joy you take in the choices you've made.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


    Ep. 70 - And Playing the Role of Herself by KE Lane Feb 04, 2019
    Show notes

    It's our final guest-hosted episode and our first all-lady romance as Erin and her friend Liz dive into And Playing the Role of Herself by K.E. Lane. This is a steamy contemporary about two actresses on a Law and Order-style TV show -- one that can't stop being a total bitch, and one that can't stop getting horribly injured. It's fitting that this was our first, because it seems to be the first lesbian romance for a lot of romance readers! If you've ever thought about or read Law and Order: SVU fan fiction, this one is for you! Bonus Content: Morning breath issues, toe rings, confusing spit takes, noises we make when we really appreciate food, swiping right on a clitoris, obscure references from The Bachelor and Days of Our Lives, the cookie diet, the mysterious way Erin's cats died, lesbian love sex, and plenty of Law and Order: SVU discussion. Lady Loves: Erin: The new Kindle Paperwhite Liz: The Wirecutter, Sweethome, and The Strategist for every purchase you make.

    Mentioned in this episode:

    Love the show? Leave a review!

    Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.


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