Heaving Bosoms

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Ep. 99 - One Wore Blue by Heather Graham (PART 2) Aug 26, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! We're back for One Wore Blue Part 2. I know, we don't want to be here either. HOWEVER! Come hear Mel and Erin cope through humor and ranting!

Content Warnings: enragingly whitewashed depictions of slavery and hate speech.

Patreon Shout Out!

Katie K., you are The Witch of the Wild, made modern. You use your powerful magic for good, whether it’s through humor, the way you wield a makeup brush, or bringing a cosplay to life. I also have a feeling that, when behind the bar, your party potions can be legendary. Like the witch you’re inspired by, you also have powerful healing magic. You can pick up a friend who’s down with a look, a kind word, a funny joke, or a cutting remark aimed at the person who hurt them. You can take down your loved ones enemies with the best of them, and you’re not afraid to go there. I’m so glad our cult has you to entertain and protect us.

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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Ep. 98 - One Wore Blue by Heather Graham (PART 1) Aug 19, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! Come join us in this love letter to Confederate Generals where two privileged slave owners angst at each other over states rights (but not slavery because they're both pretty okay with that; STATES RIGHTS!) until they bang it out, or while they bang it out, or after they bang it out. Also it's our first AmericaTimes book!

CONTENT WARNINGS: inaccurate and whitewashed depiction of slavery and hate speech

Bonus Content:

Mel copes with this deplorable version of Antebellum white washing with THREE WHOLE PAGES of charming and hilarious southern phrases, Erin hates it, many southern accents, Podcast of Northern Aggression?, Kiernan SUUUUUUUUUCKS, *Bing Boong Bong* Civil War Name Dropping with Erin, was Moses Fancy?, orgasming through a snapchat filter, and Erin proposes a hypothesis after reading Sookie and this: is this type of O the super power of Civil War Era Southern Gentlemen?

Lady Loves

Melody: "Hard to Swallow Pills: Rejection Sensitivity" Graphic

Erin: Katmai Bear Cam! Watch bears being bears at nature's conveyor belt sushi! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4C1c4z8hTQ

Patreon Shout Out:

Jen RR, you are a Book Dragon. A creature whose passion for the written word is matched only by your expansive intellect and charring wit. While most dragons hoard their belongings and guard them fiercely against all intruders, you are benevolent and share with anyone who’s looking for a recommendation. You shout good writing from the door of your lair and your taste never falters. One thing you do guard fiercely, however, is your inner circle. You are incredibly protective over, and take gentle care of, the people you deem yours. And your fire breath is a mixed bag. You’re not afraid to call out ignorance and injustice and you can burn anything to the ground with almost zero effort, but you’re quick to warm up a chilled friend with a kind word. You also give amazing hugs.

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Ep. 97 - Chat with Christina Lauren! Aug 12, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! Erin got to talk to CHRISTINA LAUREN! Both Lauren AND Christina! In addition to spending a little time talking about What's My Number (they hate slut-shaming *swoon!*), they talk all about their friendship, writing, breaking into the movie biz, and a ton more. Most importantly, you get to hear how right they are about The One True Chris! #christinalaurensecretthing

Make sure to pre-order their next book Twice in a Blue Moon, which is out October 22, 2019!

Patrons will get bonus content with cult questions this week as well!

Lady Loves:

Christina: the K-Pop group BTS! They're her happy place.

Lauren: Orange Theory? Well, yes, but also The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai! It's out now!

Patreon Shout Out:

Victoria E, you are descended from Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of poetry, healing, and spring, and a protector of livestock and the young. You have an artist’s soul, the work ethic of a meticulous scientist, and an analytical mind that can tackle any problem. Like the season Brigid governs, you rejuvenate everything you lay your eyes on. You pick yourself and your loved ones up because you’re a steadfast champion of well-being in all aspects of life. So, grab a book, a cup of tea, some berries, and curl up with those kitties, because you deserve all the care and contemplation you crave.

Episode Sponsor!

Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately!

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Ep. 96 - Perv by Dakota Gray (PART 2) Aug 05, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! Are you wondering how the story ends for Nate and Robyn? You're in luck because we're here to recap part two of Perv by Dakota Gray! Plus, why is smells, what is time (a flat circle?), how does money, where friendship? But more than anything, TIT SLAPPING!

Bonus Content: Matthew McConaugHEYYYYYY vs. The McConaissance, doggy paddle boarding, Big Al's, doe-shaped eyes, and so much more!

Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content at https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Subscribe! Rate! Review!

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Ep. 95 - Perv by Dakota Gray (PART 1) Jul 29, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! We’re here with Perv by Dakota Gray. It has so many things we usually love. Interracial couple! Graphic sex scenes! Kink! Frank sexual health talks! And yet…. It wasn’t for us because Alphaholes aren’t Melody’s thing and Erin … well, Erin explains. It's specific.

Bonus Content:

Mel’s brother is now a patron (gah!), Erin is honest to a stranger about what she’s reading, Melody has MANY OPINIONS about alcoholic beverages, the Bachelorette contestant Lil’ Pete, the Wine Aficionado of Cunts, Bing Boong Bong Army with Erin, Bing Boong Bong Sexual Health with Melody, Irrational Assholes and Irrational Alphaholes, Melody explains dental dams, and the Kenny G board game.

Lady Loves:

Melody - The Dixie Chicks

Erin - Queer Eye Season 4

Patreon Shout Out:

Ali F, you are a parasitic Arctic ice worm that burrows deep inside the brains of unsuspecting geophysicists, a dog, and at least two FBI Agents that refuse to accept their true feelings for each other. You turn your hosts into murderous psychopaths incapable of controlling their wrath and paranoia. You are ruthless, crafty, and devoted to survival at all costs. It's not the most glamorous job, but you do get to hang out in Alaska, which is pretty cool. Even cooler, you delivered that great scene where Mulder and Scully check each other's bodies for parasitic ice worms. This was very important to Erin in 1993, so she thanks you.

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Ep. 94 - Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris (PART 2) Jul 22, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! Come join us for the end of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris! In addition to Sookie and Vampire Bill's HEA (or HFN? WHO KNOWS!), Erin and I tell you all about "The Melody" from Erin's wedding, we hate book Jason but Melody LOOOOOVES TV Jason, we get real with Tweety Bird, and question how we've done orgasms our whole lives?

PATREON SHOUT OUT:

Jenny P., you are an acolyte of The Norns, or the Fates of Norse mythology. From Skuld, or she who is becoming, you get your widely celebrated connection to, and ability to interpret, the future. Only someone like you could capture both the beauty and support that tarot has to offer and make it tangible for so many. From Urd, or that which was, you get a millennia of human experience baked into your bones. You draw from this wisdom daily, especially when it counts. Finally from Verdandi, or that which is becoming, you get your impressive ability to be present. No matter what life throws at you, never underestimate the value of just being you when shit inevitably hits the fan. It’s not about saying or doing the “right” thing, it’s about being there for those you love, and your instincts won’t let you do anything else.

EPISODE SPONSOR:

This episode is sponsored by Love and Gravity by Rebel Carter! It's her first rom com and a multicultural STEM Hufflepuff romance with a curvy Latina lab queen and swoon worthy reformed bad boy. One reviewer gushed, "Anton and Grace are hilarious, flawed, sweet people who I fell in love with right away! This book is witty, fun, and emotional. And it has ladies killing it in STEM!”"

Hurry, hurry! Purchase this hilarious novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!

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Ep. 93 - Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris (PART 1) Jul 15, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris, the first book in the Southern Vampire series or, as we like to call it, the Sookie Stackhouse series! This was a foundational book in Erin's romance-loving career and she will defend Sookie and Bill's perfection until true death. Meanwhile, Melody is more of a show girl, soooo... Bonus Content: Erin's post-army haircut!, Mel was a little bored with Sookie (partially because she's not in a great mental/emotional state), Ryan Kwanten doing yoga (drool), the excellence that is Dillards on a sexy vampire, and more!

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Ep. 92 - Always Be My Maybe Jul 09, 2019

Show notes

Hey HBs! Due to a gross but minor health issue, Erin was unable to read about sexy vampires last week. So, we put Sookie on hold and discussed everyone’s favorite new Netflix romcom, Always Be My Maybe! Next week we will return to our normal reading list!

Bonus Content: A little on Erin's wedding, loooooots of Keanu love (his thumbs!), and so much more!

Patreon Shout Out:

Crystal T, you are a Splintercat, a ferocious feline legend of the Pacific Northwest that has incredible speed, can fly, and has an uncrackable skull. You basically fly at top speed into trees to knock the raccoons and bees out so that you can nom on raccoon meat and honey. You’re apparently the cause of all the dead snag trees seen around the Northwestern United States. There’s a bad rumor that Splintercats are mean and very moody. Lumberjacks are advised to never approach a Splintercat in a bad mood and leave gifts of food when in doubt. It’s not the best reputation, but hey, men leave you alone except to give you free food? If you don’t want that gig, we’ll take it.

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Ep. 91 - Cinnamon Blade: Knife in Shining Armor by Shira Glassman, with JenReadsRomance Jul 01, 2019

Show notes

Hey y'all! We're here with JenReadsRomance from twitter and Fated Mates Podcast glory to chat about Cinnamon Blade: Knife in Shining Armor by Shira Glassman! It's an f/f novella starring a superhero and a nerdy assistant. There's aliens, there are consent boners, there's public sex, there are puns... in the words of Cin, "heart eyes!" We loved it.

Plus, lots of Melody and Jen not being able to remember names of movies and important comic book characters, so the usual!

Self Love Recommendations:

Melody: Coffee concentrate ice cubes! Yum!

Jen: Do something naughty in the middle of the day. Like have an alcoholic beverage! The light of day makes some regular old things feel illicit and nice.

Episode Sponsor:

Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter! It’s a menage, mail order bride romance set in Western Times that will melt your heart and set your bathing suit parts alight. Talia Hibbert says "Rebel Carter writes with wit, elegance, and longing. Her love stories exist in a world of their own, and it's one I never want to leave." Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!

Patreon Shout Out:

Misty HL, you are a Joint Snake, a legendary creature from the Southern United States that can break itself or be cut into teeny tiny pieces and magically reassemble like nothing happened. One account says that if the Joint Snake is cut with a knife, it will make the knife into a new piece of itself, making it even stronger than before it was cut. Seriously, do not fuck with this snake, she’ll just use whatever comes at her to come back even stronger. Resilience is her superpower.

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Ep. 90 - Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren (PART 2) Jun 24, 2019

Show notes

Hey HB's! We're coming at you with Part 2 of Josh and Hazel's Guide to not dating! In which we swoon and try not to read you the entire thing because we love it so muuuuuch.

Patreon Shout Out!

Liz Z, you are a Snallygaster, a dragon-like beast that specifically inhabits Frederick County, Maryland. The Snallygaster is half-reptile, half-bird, so basically a badass dinosaur. You swoop silently from the sky to catch your victims and then you suck their blood vampire-style. Your screech is louder than a locomotive whistle and you have an extra eye in the center of your forehead. Seriously, you are a very badass situation. No joke, Teddy Roosevelt considered postponing his African safari to hunt for Snallygasters in the Greater-D.C. Metro Area. This really happened. And he was the President.

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