HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS

Latest Episodes:

Are You Feeding The Behavior That You Want Your Child To Change? Apr 10, 2019

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a mother struggling with her bright talented daughter who is critical of almost everyone. She knows something needs to be done when the school tells her that they've talked to their daughter about bullying. On the school's advice, parents sent their daughter to therapy, but with nothing changing they reached out to Neil. Neil examines nurture and nature possibilities and helps Mom understand that overtly or subtly, there is a control battle going on in the family that is supporting the very behavior they want to change. Neil shows this Mom how to talk with her daughter to change the family dynamic and how to reclaim an empowered and positive parental role. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

The Right Way To Get Your Kid Into A Great College Apr 02, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, Neil addresses the College Admissions Scandal and speaks to the importance of character development for achieving personal happiness and success. He challenges us to look at the lengths we go to clear the way for our youth, robbing them of opportunities to learn and grow from failure. Finally, Neil explains that a "great" college for one person may not be a "great" college for another and the right college will be a "great" college. In this podcast Neil reminds listeners that the give-a-way drawing of his book, Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle, Celebrating his 100th episode is still open. To enter, simply review this podcast on iTunes and send Neil an email from his website. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

How Do I Deal With My Critical Mother? Mar 20, 2019

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Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a woman who has her mother living next door who helps with childcare, but is chronically critical. She is so beaten down that she finds herself crying at the slightest provocation. Neil helps this Mom first attend to her burnout, and then change the pattern of her lifelong relationship with her chronically critical mother. Neil offers examples of new ways of responding to Mom's criticisms that create a more empowered sense of self. In this podcast Neil celebrates his 100th episode with a give-a-way drawing of his book, Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

We Took A Stand And Made Some Progress; Now What? Mar 06, 2019

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Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother who took a stand with her 15-year-old son; she clarified parental expectations, removed privileges, and got good results. Now she wants to know how to avoid this being the new pattern of having to constantly withdraw privileges to get his attention. Neil uses this question to address the larger issue of changing out of an adversarial parent-teen relationship into one where parents and teens work together in support of adolescent growth and development. Neil offers language that takes the shame out of setting and enforcing limits and standards and makes it a more normal part of adolescent growth and development. Neil shows this Mom how to engage her son in a healthy dialogue about his own readiness for privileges. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

How Can I Be As Confident At Home As I Am At Work? Feb 27, 2019

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Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother who knows her childhood is affecting how she gets her feelings hurt as a mother and wife. But she wants tools for being able to be as confident and adult in her roles at home as she is in her roles at work. Neil offers this Mom a powerful healing exercise and demonstrates how to use it effectively. Neil shares that most of us, including him, have childhood issues that affect us and being aware of that and having a tool for healing that is something we can all benefit from. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

How Do I Not Take This Personally? Feb 19, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother who wants to know how not to take her daughter's disrespect and hostility personally, when she is only that way towards her. To the Mom, it is obviously personal. Neil helps Mom see how her daughter's behavior is tapping into her own childhood issues of "never being or doing enough". Neil helps this Mom differentiate between her childhood sense of self, and her adult sense of self and empowers her to respond to her daughter from her compassionate adult self. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

My Stubborn Son Won't Listen Feb 05, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother struggling with her son who avoids school work, starts and gives up on positive activities, and alienates friends. Neil helps this Mom set some goals: to help her son learn responsibility, make and keep commitments, cooperate with parents, and develop peer social skills. Then Neil gives Mom a strategy that will set the ball in motion to address them. Step one is changing the relationship pattern in the home. Step two is connecting with the school and 4H, to know her son's needs and support him. Neil ends by challenging the listener to identify a relationship pattern that they need to change, a pattern that is limiting their potential. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

My Preschooler Fights Me When It's Time To Go To School Jan 29, 2019

Show notes

: Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother and preschool teacher wanting to know how to get preschoolers with Separation Anxiety out of the car and into the classroom. Neil addresses this parent/teacher concern after consulting with Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions. Neil goes on to explain the many reasons why it is vital that the parent own this responsibility and he gives parents a prescription for accomplishing it. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

My Son Wields Silence as a Weapon Jan 23, 2019

Show notes

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother wanting to help her 16 year old son open up and express his feelings. She reports that he had severe anxiety as a child and she is concerned that his unwillingness to open up is a manifestation of it. Now, when he is angry, he shuts down and she perceives it as a way to hurt others. Neil explains how Control Battles can be passive and covert as well as expressive and overt. If the battle continues, it can cement the passive aggressive behavior. Neil encourages the Mom to end the Control Battle and shows this Mom how to let her son's behavior be a choice and not a battle; thus opening up the opportunity for him to make a different healthier choice. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Is Hurtful Language Verbal Abuse? Jan 15, 2019

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a woman who wonders why Neil didn't identify verbal abuse in last week's podcast. She had been in an abusive relationship but didn't realize it until she read Patricia Evans' book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship and is concerned that if it isn't called out, that we're enabling it. Neil explains the many factors that can influence how derogatory words are used and felt and how the label of abuse can be used productively and why sometimes it is not. Neil recommends Patricia Evans' books and wants the listener to know that their emotional needs matter and that they always deserve respect, and adopting a personally empowered position and establishing healthy limits and boundaries is the best way to address issues and problems in a relationship and the best way to get great results in your life in general.

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