What do you do, when your 15 year old son, turns even a simple request into an argument? Before we get to the question we’re answering today, I want to acknowledge the unbelievably difficult time we’re in. Between COVID-19 and the limitations it’s placing on our lives and the havoc it’s wreaking on the economy and the latest evidence of gross police brutality against Blacks, and the divisive behavior and lack of leadership from the President, it’s a horrible time. There’s lots of opportunity here to engage your teenagers and young adults in discussions of racism, institutional racism and with the whole subject of coping with crisis. Since we all know that it’s better to light one candle than to curse the darkness, talk with your teenagers about lighting a candle.
- Is there a way they can reach out and help someone?
- Do they want to join the protest and how?
- What experiences have they had with racism?
All white people need to know that being Black in America, means being seen suspiciously by Whites virtually all the time. My Black clients, including doctors and professors, all report being traffic stopped on a regular basis for no apparent reason whatsoever. There are lots of podcasts on current events, racism, the coronavirus and the economy. And with all this going on, there are still plenty of parenting challenges so that is what I’ll keep the focus on with the Healthy Family Connections podcast. And with that said, in today's podcast episode, we discuss:
- Why a simple request can turn into a Control Battle
- Two basic principles of your ongoing Control Battle
- How to move your teen from from a position of defiance to one of collaboration and engagement
During this time of profound disruption, don’t hesitate to reach out for help, your local mental health resources are very much there, mostly using video platforms and that works just fine, phones work too, and sometimes you can be seen in person as well. I’m offering folks an opportunity to sign up for a free 15 minute Zoom consultation with me and I’m having a blast. When you join my website, I get a name, but don’t know much about you. Now I’m getting a chance to meet the people who are following me and it’s a fabulous experience, you’re all such wonderful people. If you’d like to meet me and get a brief consultation, click here to sign up.
If you're looking for a resource to help keep you productive at home while also helping you become a better parent, I've prepared a free gift just for you. It’s called Parenting Through Your Child's Second 12 Years. I know you’re thinking, "What the heck, 12 more years of parenting?" Adolescence neurologically, socially and emotionally, and often financially goes to around age 24. Yes, parenting your 20-year-olds is different than the teens. Download my gift and read and learn about the different stages of adolescence and critical strategies parents can use to avoid control battles and best support their adolescents’ quest for happy successful independence. https://neildbrown.com/second-12-years/
Please, take care of yourselves; you need it, you deserve it, you’re worth it. Neil
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