Habits and Hustle - Jen Cohen

Latest Episodes:

Episode 255: Jillian Turecki: The #1 Reason Why Dating Is So Hard These Days Jul 04, 2023

Show notes

We've all experienced it: the gut-wrenching pain of a heartbreak and the eventual struggle to understand the dynamics of relationships.

In this episode of Habits and Hustle, we dive deep into the intricacies of relationships, discussing everything from the psychology behind relationship patterns to the role of stress, selfishness, and fear of rejection with Jillian Turecki. Jillian enlightened us with her distinctive insights on topics such as the reality of soulmates and the idea that a long-term relationship requires continuous choices. We also took a hard look at trauma bonds, anxious attachment, and the importance of becoming radically self-aware to break destructive cycles. This conversation was not just intellectual but also deeply personal, as it drew from Jillian's experiences and expertise.

Finally, we shifted our focus to some of the more nuanced aspects of relationships. We ruminated on gender differences in emotional connections with sex, pondered over the concept of safety for women due to their vulnerability, and tackled the vexing issue of lost attraction in an otherwise fulfilling relationship.

Jillian Turecki is a certified relationship coach, teacher and writer who for 20 years has taught others how to transform their relationships with themselves. Under the tutelage of Tony Robbins and world renowned family therapist Cloe Madanes, Jillian is certified by the Robbins Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention. Fueled by an insatiable curiosity about what makes a relationship thrive, Jillian has helped thousands through her teaching and writing revolutionize their relationship with themselves so that they transform their relationships with others.

What we discuss:

(0:00:01) - How did Jillian becoming a relationship coach?

(0:11:02) - Are our relationship expectations realistic or selfish?

(0:22:47) - How to break bad relationship patterns

(0:33:35) - Busting myths about relationships

(0:40:30) - How important is emotional connection in sex?

Key Takeaways:

There's no such thing as one soulmate. People come into our lives for various reasons and not everyone who feels like a soulmate is. Not everything is meant to be a life story. Some people come into our lives to wake us up. Some people come into our lives to help us through a period of time. Some people come into our lives to show us some adventure.

If you lose attraction towards a partner, you have to understand why. A couple can bring it back if they understand the why and they work on the why. And especially if there was once a lot of attraction in the beginning. It is something that typically can be resurrected as long as the other things are sort of rectified and worked on.

We learn about our attachment styles and we learn about what we're experiencing on the attachment spectrum, based on who we are relating to. And it's also very dependent on what else is going on in our lives. For example, if we're going through a very difficult time in our lives, we might become more anxiously attached to someone because we think on a subconscious level that this person is going to rescue us and is going to make it all better.

Learn more about Jillian:

Website: https://www.jillianturecki.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B4smb80j8Am/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049?ls=1&itscg=30200&itsct=qcode_podcasts&at=1001l36mQ&ct=JOL-Chartable

My links:

Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/

Instagram: @therealjencohen

Episode 253: ALOK: How to Be Authentically You in A World Full of Fakes Jun 27, 2023

Show notes

Do you ever wonder why society hates people who live authentically?

In this episode of Habits and Hustle, I chat with ALOK about their observations on what happens to us when we aren't living authentically, what happens when we finally start living authentically, and what kind of reactions we may provoke from society…and why those reactions are okay!

ALOK also shares their personal experience on how they had internalized feelings of hate towards themselves, how it almost drove them to suicide, and how they were able to come out on the other side.

ALOK (they/them) is an internationally acclaimed author, poet, comedian, and public speaker. As a mixed-media artists, their work explores themes of trauma, belonging, and the human condition.

What we discuss:

01:53: About Alok

07:29: How was Alok brought up?

11:05: How did Alok start living authentically?

18:20: How can you start living an authentic life?

19:45: Was Alok jealous of other people who came out before them?

23:25: Where do LGBTQ prejudices come from?

40:19: What was Alok's experience with suicide?

46:55: What does Alok journal about?

54:28: How would Alok call themselves?

01:10:25: Where can you learn more about Alok?

Key Takeaways:

Most of us feel depressed, anxious, and sad because we are not living authentically. We are living lives that others, whether it be our parents or society, tell us we "should" live. We tend to sacrifice what our truth is and as a result, live a life that is out of alignment with what we truly want and are passionate about.

The biggest motivator behind the hate many people who go against the grain is jealousy and envy. When someone sees someone else rejecting what society has forced on them, they express it as anger and hate, but it stems from the feeling of being upset with themselves that they don't have the same courage as that person to live the life they want.

To learn more about ALOK:

Website: https://www.alokvmenon.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alokvmenon/?hl=en

My links:

Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/

Instagram: @therealjencohen

Episode 251: Neil deGrasse Tyson: Why Embracing Wonder is Critical For Personal Growth Jun 20, 2023

Show notes

Do you consider yourself to be curious enough?

In this episode of Habits and Hustle, Neil deGrasse Tyson and I explore the importance of retaining our childhood curiosity and how it plays a crucial role in our lives as adults. Neil shares his insights on nurturing curiosity and how fear of failure can hinder our progress in maintaining that innate sense of wonder.

During our conversation, Neil also shares his unique perspective on using pop culture in education, the future of AI, and the complexities of quantum physics and philosophy. As an astrophysicist, Neil brings a cosmic perspective to our discussion, offering wisdom and knowledge that will surely spark your curiosity and ignite your passion for learning.

Finally, we touch on the challenges and opportunities in transforming the school system, the role of religion, and even ponder hypothetical conversations with interesting historical figures. Don't miss this captivating episode with the one and only Neil deGrasse Tyson as we explore the universe and beyond together.

Neil deGrasse Tyson earned his BA in Physics from Harvard and his PhD in Astrophysics from Columbia. In 2001, Tyson was appointed by President Bush to serve on a twelve-member commission that studied the Future of the U.S. Aerospace Industry. The final report was published in 2002 and contained recommendations (for Congress and for the major agencies of the government) that would promote a thriving future of transportation, space exploration, and national security.

What we discuss:

(0:00:01) - How important is it to retaining childhood curiosity and exploration in adulthood?

(0:13:08) - What role does pop culture have in education?

(0:17:09) - How Neil used Twitter to spark curiosity

(0:29:25) - What does Neil think of AI's Future and implicated ethics?

(0:38:50) - What do we know to be true in quantum physics and philosophy?

(0:54:19) - How can we transforming the school system?

(1:04:19) - A discussion about religion, gender, and continuums

(1:19:13) - Who would Neil like to have a conversation with if given the opportunity?

(1:27:36) - Why you should be Ashamed to die

Key Takeaways:

Living forever comes with its own set of challenges, including resource conservation, terraforming Mars, and the lack of urgency in life. We explore the concept of 'escape velocity of aging,' where the number of years that passes equals the increase in the average life expectancy of civilization, and how it could lead to humanity living forever. However, living forever comes with a bigger existential problem. See, knowing our mortality gives us meaning to our lives and how living forever could potentially lead to a life with no meaning.

Curiosity and exploration are important. However, most parents have a natural instinct to protect their child may prevent them from learning important lessons in life. Think of how a seemingly mundane event such as a child playing with an egg can become an entire conversation about the natural world, and how the cost of ignorance can be more expensive than the cost of education.

There are three categories of truth: personal truth, objective truth, and truth that is repeated. We acknowledge personal truths can invoke powerful emotions and even lead to armed conflict. Each one of these truths have their own characteristics that make it true in its own definition.

To learn more about Neil:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neildegrassetyson/

Website: https://neildegrassetyson.com/

My links:

Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/

Instagram: @therealjencohen