Gumball Love Podcast

EPISODE 142: DANCE YOUR WAY TO LOVE! - The biggest collaboration I have ever done! Oct 18, 2024

I didn’t realize how low my confidence still was until I began ballroom dancing. Looking back, I was showing up for dates dressed up, with my hair and makeup done, but I still felt heavy and uncomfortable in my own skin. Until I overcame this, I never knew how obvious this was to others.

The day I stepped into the dance studio, I had no idea how much my life was about to change. I had already done a lot of work on myself, but the transformation I experienced was truly a catalyst for reaching the next level and gave me the confidence I needed to feel aligned with the man that became my husband.

I am so excited to offer you a once-in-a-lifetime experience to combine both relationship coaching and ballroom dancing with my World Champion Coach Kairat Algadaev at Danznik Studios in Times Square, New York City.

Even if you think you could never do something like this, take a listen anyway.

Dance into LOVE Registration:

https://www.gumballlove.com/danceintolove

BOOK A CALL WITH MELISSA to apply:

https://calendly.com/gumball-love/freediscoverycall

What is your type? Take the Gumball Love Romantic Quiz Here:

https://gumballlove.outgrow.us/romantic

Take the NON-Romantic Quiz here:

https://gumballlove.outgrow.us/non-romantic-v3

Website:

www.gumballlove.com

Email Melissa:

Melissa@Gumballlove.com

EPISODE 141: The Gumball Love PODCAST IS BACK! - Why I left podcasting after getting married. Oct 17, 2024

I am so excited to be back, and I have so much to share. This podcast is like a phone call between you and me. I tell you what happened, why I stopped podcasting, why I did not want to share my relationship online.

I also have a huge announcement and introducing a project I've been working on for a long time. It is FREE: Listen to the podcast and then come back and click the links below!

The Gumball Love ROMANTIC QUIZ:

https://gumballlove.outgrow.us/romantic

The Gumball Love NON-ROMANTIC QUIZ:

https://gumballlove.outgrow.us/non-romantic-v3

Website:

www.GumballLove.com

Email Melissa: melissa@GumballLove.com

Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Private Facebook Group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse

Brittany Found Love After 8 Months of Self Discovery: Client Story Oct 17, 2022

Are you nervous to take that step to TRULY be single, totally off the dating apps, and just focus on getting to know and love yourself? My past client Brittany is the perfect example of why doing this is SO important.

Tune in to find out how Brittany went from having no idea who she was, to being secure and confident in herself, plus happily married with two kids!

We discuss what drew Brittany to working with me, what things she did during her break from dating, how she knew her husband was the one, advice to offer anyone in a similar position, the different benefits of therapy vs. coaching, and more!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Will a Guy Without Kids Understand? Courtney's Story Oct 10, 2022

Courtney was a single mom with two kids, divorced for six years, single for five, who was successful in all other areas of her life like friendships, career, and health...but her love life suffered. Until she met her boyfriend, but he'd never had kids before. Does it work out? Tune in to find out!

Courtney worked with me a few years ago doing one-on-one and group coaching. We chatted to see what she learned through that process, and where she's at now.

We discuss:

What was going on in her life when she decided to work with me
How she struggled with self confidence and being triggered after the trauma of her divorce
What was different about her new love, Michael
How the struggles of her past relationships taught her lessons moving forward
How and when she decided to introduce Michael to her 12 and 10 year old kids
Michael didn't have kids..was he understanding about her situation?

and more!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Do You Really Need a Dating Coach? Kristy's Story Oct 04, 2022

Coaching results, 4 years later! Kristy didn't want to get a coach. She said, "I'm smart, I am successful, I should be able to figure this out." When her best friend told her, "We can't keep having this conversation, you need to talk to someone" It was a sign. Kristy is a total badass, finance guru (paid off over $400K in debt in 18 months), and single mom of her gorgeous teenage daughter. We sat down to talk about "Where are things now? and Do the results last?"

We also discuss:

What was the breaking point when she knew it was time to leave her marriage even though she had a one and a half year old daughter with him
How she decided it was finally time to invest in a coach
What benefits she got from coaching
What she would say to someone considering coaching but on the fence
How her life is now, four years later

Work with Kristy:

www.simplesuccessfinance.com

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Lauren Took a Year Long Dating Break at 40: A Client Success Story Sep 26, 2022

Like many women approaching their 40's and still single, Lauren was feeling anxious, lonely, and grieving the fact that she may never get married or have kids. She was stuck in a pattern of dating the same time of guy over and over, always ending up with a broken heart...all while grieving the loss of her father.

Until she decided to commit to herself and give herself a year off from dating to focus solely on herself. That's when she started to truly see her worth and value, and now she is in a happy, healthy relationship!

Tune in to hear:

How Lauren found out about Gumball Love and what made her decide it was time to stop the cycle and work with Melissa
The moment Lauren knew it was time for a change
The type of Gumball Guy Lauren was going after
What Lauren did during her year long break from dating to discover herself and her worth
How her relationship now is different from in the past (healthy vs. Gumball Love)
What advice Lauren would give to someone struggling to find love and dating later in life
How one-on-one coaching and group coaching with Melissa helped Lauren

and more!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

I Got Married! Wedding Details and How to Know if He's the One Sep 13, 2022

I am officially Mrs. Melissa Roberts!! After 20 years of searching for the right one and the trials and tribulations of dating many WRONG ones, I'm so proud to be a first time bride at 45. So many of you were asking for the wedding details, so here they are! But if you're in a place where it's too painful or sad to hear about someone else's wedding, I TOTALLY get it because I was the same way, so don't press play if you think it'll put you in a bad mood.

It's not just about the wedding though, I also talk about:

How to know if he's the right one
A successful client case study
What it's like to work with me in the 1-1 Level Up for Love program and group coaching
Other exciting announcements about where I'm going next with Gumball Love!

You also get exclusive access to taking the beta version of the Gumball Love quiz, which will only be released for purchase once it's live! Take it now here!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Three Pillars to Grow Confidence from Within with Christina Lecuyer Sep 05, 2022

Are you struggling with self worth, self love, and confidence? Christina Lecuyer was a beautiful professional golfer who seemed to have everything going for her..looks, fame, money, a relationship..but behind closed doors she was struggling far more than anyone knew. By DECIDING to be happier, she turned her life around, and you can too! Christina shares helpful strategies for anyone wanting to up-level their mindset, confidence and life.

Today we discuss:

How Christina went from professional golfer, hiding an eating disorder, to loving herself and creating an abundant life
The falsity of "I'll be happy when.. X happens"
What she did in the very beginning to start growing confidence
Christina's top tips for growing self confidence
Christina's secret to her happy, successful marriage
and more!

Connect with Christina:

Instagram: @bechristina

Website

Podcast: Decide It's Your Turn

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Not Settling Makes You Stronger Jul 18, 2022

The right thing to do is often the harder thing to do. I'm celebrating a client this week who decided it's time to choose herself and stop settling. I know making this kind of decision often doesn't feel like celebrating though. There is a lot of grief and heartbreak when letting go of someone you bonded with, and even loved. Today I'm talking about why the grief and tears make you stronger.

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Does He Have Ambivalent Attachment Style? Jun 20, 2022

You've likely heard of the three attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant, but we don't hear enough about the fourth: Ambivalent Attachment.

If your guy seems really intense in the beginning, pursuing you, showering you with love and gifts, but then can turn cold on a time or seems really needy, but like whatever you give him is never enough...he likely has ambivalent attachment style.

Tune in to learn:

What ambivalent attachment style is and what causes it
Examples and red flags of this attachment style
Why you might fall for someone with this attachment style
Your own work you need to do

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

My Unpopular Opinion on Feeling Butterflies Jun 13, 2022

A lot of coaches out there will tell you feeling butterflies around a new guy is a bad sign, because it means your nervous system is recognizing danger. This just isn't totally true, butterflies CAN actually be a good thing, as long as they're not overtaking your ability to spot the potential red flags.

In this episode, I'm breaking down:

What the sensation of butterflies actually is from a physiological perspective
Why, from a physiological perspective, butterflies aren't always a bad thing
My personal experience with butterflies and how it's gone both good and bad
When feeling butterflies becomes a bad thing
How you can distinguish between when the butterflies are a warning sign vs. just excitement

Feeling uncomfortable on dates, like you have to perform, be someone you're not, anxious wondering what he's thinking of you? I help my clients feel totally confident in their skin on dates, and to know how to spot the red flags. You don't have to be currently dating to work with me, in fact, it's great if you're not currently dating!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

He's a Nice Guy, but is he The One? Jun 06, 2022

This episode was inspired by a listener who messaged me about her situation. She says the guy is not a Gumball Guy, he's nice and he loves her, but there's other issues...she noticed he has anxious attachment style and has been unwilling to get the help he needs, their core values are misaligned, and their levels of motivation and work ethic are different.

She's wondering if it's worth it to stick with him, or if he's not the one.

I share in this episode what questions to ask yourself to know if you should continue dating someone, even if they're not a Gumball Guy, or if it's best to move on.

If you're stuck in this situation, I can help!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

How to Find the One By Reverse Engineering May 09, 2022

Are you dating with a sense of urgency and a timeline?

If you ask any happily married couple if they had a sense of urgency to find the one when they met each other, most of them will probably say no.

When you're dating with this mentality, it's like you're starving, and so ANYTHING to eat looks good. It clouds your judgement, and you'll either miss the red flags or rationalize them to keep things moving along.

In this episode, we reverse-engineer dating by looking at what causes divorces, and what happy marriages have in common, so you can know what to look for and what to avoid.

If you're having trouble moving out of that "urgency" mentality, especially if you're dating after 30, I can help!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

How to Stand Out on Your Dating Profile May 02, 2022

Not attracting the quality men you're looking for on the dating sites? In this episode, I give you my proven top tips for improving your online dating profile and the first couple interactions to collapse your timeline and find your high-quality man faster.

We talk about:

How to make sure your profile isn't generic and stands out from the crowd while staying true to who you are
Red flags to look out for in the initial text messages with a guy so you can filter through the duds faster and save loads of time
How soon you should move away from texting and move to phone/video call or in-person meet up
How to grow your self-worth so you no longer settle for Gumball Guys

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

27 Reasons Why You Might Not Be Getting a Second Date Apr 25, 2022

This episode might sting a little to hear but I'm gonna be that SUPER honest friend right now who just tells it to you straight...here are the things you might be doing that could be a major turn off for people.

Do you have bad breath? Bad body odor? Crooked teeth? What kinds of things do you talk about on a date...do you complain, or gossip? These are just a few of the things. Tune in to hear the full list!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

How to Get Over a Break Up and Move On ASAP Apr 11, 2022

Fresh out of a break up? Even if you're months or even years out and still not over your ex, here are my top 34 things to do to get over a break up (non of which include binge drinking or drowning your sorrows in ice cream!) These are healthy, productive methods that actually work to help you move on.

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Why Professional Women Struggle to Find Love Apr 04, 2022

Are you killing it at your professional live, but struggling to find the man of your dreams? Most clients who come to me are much more confident and comfortable walking in to a board room than walking in to a first date, so if that's you, you're not alone!

In this episode, I give you the top reasons my clients were struggling to connect with high-quality men, and how I help them stop the cycle of toxic love, discover their worth, and find true love.

Work with Melissa

If you're done dating man babies and ready to find a lasting, true connection, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, 10 coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Love Is Blind Season 2 Analysis Mar 21, 2022

For those of you who geeked out on the Netflix show Love is Blind (season 2), this episode is for you! Yes, it's reality TV which doesn't have the best rep for being...well...real...but we can actually learn A LOT from observing these singles and couples.

In this episode I give my personal analysis of the individuals in the cast, as well as their relationships. Like, why did Nick and Danielle appear so toxic in the dating stages and they ended up being one of the only couples to actually make it even a year later?

I fan girl over Deepti and Natalie and what we can learn from both of them as single women. We discuss why Shane is a Gumball Guy (if you couldn't tell already), and why Mallory and Sal appeared like such a cute couple but it didn't work.

If you've gained value from this podcast, please share this episode on your social media, and leave a rate and review with what you've learned from this podcast so that more people can find it. Thank you!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

How to Stop the Cycle of Pain and Rejection Mar 14, 2022

In this episode we're talking about why you're in the cycle of rejection and pain, why that pain of rejection is so great, and how to stop the cycle.

If you continue to find yourself meeting guys who seem great in the beginning, and then with no explanation they disappear or they turn out to be not who you thought they were, and then you're stuck in what appears to be a never-ending funk of sadness and anxiety about what the future holds for you, this one is for you!

It is all a simple mindset shift that you can start implementing today to immediately feel content about your present moment, no matter the circumstances.

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

I'm Engaged! What it Feels like to Know for Sure Mar 01, 2022

I'M ENGAGED!! I know how it can kinda stink to hear these engagement stories when you're still single, trust me I was there for a long time. I'm sharing this story with you because I KNOW it's possible for you.

Whether you're single, dating or in a committed relationship, this episode is meant to help you understand what it feels like (for me, and I know for many others) to know for sure that this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. I'll also give you the behind the scenes story of how Iain proposed!

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504

Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Should You Try Again With Your Ex? Feb 07, 2022

He's constantly on your mind...the one in your past who you wonder if he's grown up at all. You day dream about what it would be like to reconnect with him, and if things would be different this time.

Should you reach out? Maybe he already reached out and you're wondering if you should revisit the relationship. In this episode, I'm sharing my personal experience with this exact scenario and what you can do to make this decision.

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504

Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Does He Make You Feel Like You're "Too Much"? Feb 02, 2022

Do you ever feel like you're too much, and at the same time, not enough for a guy?

If you've ever wondered..."Should I tone it down"? Should I not bring this Michael Kors purse to the date? Maybe I shouldn't wear these heels, I'm too tall..." Girl, this episode is for YOU!

The right guy for you will NOT make you second guess, question and doubt yourself.

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504

Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

What Really Makes a Couple Compatible? Jan 24, 2022

We all love to watch the fantasies and the happily ever afters..but what about the reality that over 50% of marriages end in divorce? Most people know this fact, but have you ever stopped to investigate what actually led to women deciding to divorce?

We're over here thinking single life is terrible and just wanting what those married couples (seem) to have, but then why do so many women choose to divorce or wish they could? They're fantasizing about the single life!

In this episode we get in to WHY so many marriages end in divorce. And here's a little spoiler, it's typically not marriage itself that leads to divorce..often it was doomed from the very beginning, long before the "I do's".

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me:

The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or,
The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions

Resources Mentioned in this episode:

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504

Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Is Unresolved Trauma Keeping You From Finding Love? Jan 10, 2022

My love said it best, "If you've got unresolved trauma, you can't be intimate with yourself. And when you can't be intimate with yourself, you can't be intimate with someone else."

A lot of people are walking around with unresolved trauma and expecting to find "the One" who will turn their whole life around.

Most people haven't done "the work" to truly heal, and are bringing a lot of baggage in to the relationship that prevents them from being able to connect deeply with someone else.

If you suspect this is you, you'll wanna tune in to this episode.

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504

Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

I Did This Before I Found Love Dec 20, 2021

In this episode, I want to share with you all the things I did to level up my life that I believe prepared me for the love I'm experiencing now.

And I'll let you in on a secret..it has nothing to do with dating, or having the right pictures and words on your profile to attract the right person..it all has to do with going back to YOU and curating your ideal life.

Not only did this help prepare me for this relationship, but it also helped me to not lose myself in this relationship.

This is a problem I had in the past, and a theme I see with my clients...losing yourself so much in a relationship that it's so difficult to break out of because you don't know who you are without this person.

So tune in for some awesome, practical tips you can start incorporating right away into your life in order to be grounded in who you are and prepare you to meet the love of your life!

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504

Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Why Are We Attracted to People Who Aren't Good for Us? Dec 13, 2021

We're bringing back my love Iain Roberts for another episode to give his perspective on Gumball Love, and how so many of us became attracted to Gumball People.

When we think about our childhoods and the books we read, the movies we watched, the characters we idolized...a lot of these fantasies weren't very healthy expectations. These expectations are what keeps us in an endless cycle, but we're so IN it that we can't always objectively see the behavior patterns.

That's what the Gumball Love Assessment and "Level Up for Love" coaching package is for! We talk all about the assessment and coaching package in this episode as well and exactly what to expect and how it can help you.

Live Coaching Session: There Was So Much Chemistry, What Happened? Dec 06, 2021

On this episode we bring on Khyara, a listener of the podcast, for a LIVE hot seat coaching session🔥🔥

Khyara was dating a guy for a month and a half and things were going well, there was a lot of sexual chemistry, until things started feeling..off.

At a time when Khyara really emotionally needed him, he dropped the ball. Plus, he stopped prioritizing time for them to hang out.

Tune in as Melissa and Khyara break down what happened using Khyara’s quiz results to see which flavors of attention this guy craved.

If you’ve been wondering what a coaching session is like, here’s your chance to get a taste!

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Introducing Iain Roberts and Our Love Story! Nov 29, 2021

FINALLY! It's here..the moment you've all been waiting for..I am introducing my love, Iain on to the show to share our story and how he has been and will continue to be helping out with Gumball Love moving forward!

We get into...

How he almost lost me because he cancelled our first date to MC a chicken wing eating contest...
What our first two dates were like, how we were both feeling, and why we didn't end up meeting again for another 5 years
How we ended up finally getting re-connected 5 years later and fell in love without even being able to see each other in person during the pandemic
What Iain's thoughts on Gumball Love were then and now
How Iain will continue to be involved in Gumball Love

It's a longer episode than usual but I really wanted you to get a sense of our dynamic. NOT that every healthy couple dynamic will look and sound exactly like ours, this is just one example.

If you have any topics or questions you'd like us to cover together on the podcast, please email us at melissa@gumballlove.com .

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Is it Anxiety or Gut Instinct? Nov 22, 2021

Wondering how to tell the difference between anxiety, your gut instinct, and anxious attachment style? This episode is for you!

Often times our gut instinct is SPOT ON...telling us to GTFO of a sketchy situation or to not go on the date with that guy. But sometimes, our anxiety or anxious attachment style overruns our instincts.

In this episode, we'll cover:

What is anxious attachment style and how to know if you have it
How to tell the difference between anxiety, anxious attachment style and gut instinct
How to self soothe when your anxieties are taking over
Positive signs to look for if you're in a relationship with a guy that mean you (probably) have nothing to worry about

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Are You Marrying Him Before You Meet Him? Nov 15, 2021

You come across a profile online...he's so cute, his dog is cute, you share the same hobbies and interests, you're hitting it off in the DM's, next thing you know you're fantasizing about your wedding and how you'll become bffs with his sister and wondering if you'll have Thanksgiving with his family or yours.

Like WOAH that went from 0-100 real quick😂 This episode is to remind you to PUMP THE BREAKS girl.

Otherwise, you end up building up this whole fantasy in your head, putting him on a pedestal, and then miss out on the red flags that are in reality.

Tune in to this episode of Gumball Love to learn how to shift your mindset BEFORE you go on the date and get out of "fantasy land".

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What He's Thinking When He Ghosts You Nov 08, 2021

What the heck is going on with ghosting?! It's becoming more and more common with my coaching clients so I wanted to address my view on what's really going on behind the scenes when he ghosts. Hint: It has nothing to do with you.

You had a great time with him, he's what you wanted, and now he's not texting back at all, or he's coming back every now and again lukewarm.

What gives?! In this episode I'm bringing in my own perspective based on my personal experience and the experiences of hundreds of other women I've coached, plus the perspective of a few psychologists to really get the full picture.

A quick favor?:) I'm looking to hear feedback on the podcast- what you want more of, what you want less of, I'd love to know! Shoot me a message on IG or leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Thank you!

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Body Confidence and Radical Self Love with Coach Ali Oct 27, 2021

Do you feel like lacking confidence in your body is holding you back from having success in dating?

Today I chat with Coach Ali, who was literally MADE to empower women in body confidence and self love.

Alexandra Sempek, commonly referred to as "Coach Ali", is an internationally certified health coach. She empowers women who struggle with food guilt and negative body image to reclaim their true confidence. Within her private coaching program, Alpha Alignment, Coach Ali changes the narrative with her wellness over obsession approach to health and fitness.⁣

We chat all about her personal journey struggling with obsessive food tracking and dieting since middle school, and how she works with women to fall in love with their bodies AND reach their health and fitness goals.

Work with Coach Ali

Website: https://www.coach-ali.com/

Instagram: @askcoachali

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What If He Comes Back? Oct 12, 2021

It can be so exciting when the ex or that guy you were talking to comes back around, saying how he's been thinking of you and missing you.

But as soon as you start talking about yourself and what's new in your life, he's bored. Or he starts talking about this other girl he's talking to, or all these problems in his life.

As much as he said he's changed, these are very clear signals that things are still the same. In this episode, I talk about exactly what to look out for to see if this guy has really changed or if it's the same old Gumball Guy, and exactly what to say to get rid of him for good.

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Q&A: Can Exes Be Friends? Oct 05, 2021

In this episode, we're diving deep into some questions you guys asked me on Instagram. I'm sharing my take on open relationships and polygamy, can exes be friends, and what to do about dating burn out.

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Leveling Up and Raising Your Standards Sep 28, 2021

This is the episode for you if you're sick of waiting around for the guy to text you back, or to actually take initiative and ask you out, but you're hesitant to actually cut him loose.

This episode is inspired by one of the girls in the community who DMed me a revelation she had where she finally raised her standards and stopped settling. Now, she feels liberated in dating.

This episode is designed to show you what your dating life and relationships can look like when you raise your standards and draw those boundaries!

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How to Filter like a Freak Sep 20, 2021

I used to put up with all the red flags. I'd let things slide because I didn't have the belief that I'd ever actually find a guy...since I'm tall, opinionated and financially successful.

This scarcity mindset hugely backfired! It kept me stuck in the cycle of dating Gumball Guys for years. The ironic thing is, all the things about myself that I was trying to hide, are the things my partner now loves the most.

This episode is to give you rapid fire the top things to look out for to know if you're dating or talking to a Gumball Guy, and to also remind you how important it is to BELIEVE. Believe that you are worthy, believe that there IS the perfect guy out there for you, and that you don't have to settle.

We also have a brand new workbook available to give you the full breakdown of all the different flavors of Gumball Guys and the red flags to look out for. Get it on the first page at gumballlove.com!

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Navigating Love and Gumball Guys for Teens Sep 13, 2021

Teenagers these days face unprecedented challenges when it comes to dating and relationships.

No other generation before them was raised in the world of social media (and now, social distancing).

With "we're just hanging out" and other no-labeling strangeness normalized, it can be hard to know if this guy you've been texting is really into YOU or just using you.

In this episode, I'm breaking down how teens specifically can notice the patterns of Gumball Guys so they can break out of the cycle and save themselves a lot of hurt and heartbreak in the future.

So if you are a teenager, or you have one in your life who needs to hear this, please listen and share!

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Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Mistakes Sep 06, 2021

You have to stop shaming and judging yourself for staying with the wrong guy, even though you see the red flags now. Period!

In this episode we answer the question...why do we feel so dumb for staying with a Gumball Guy or having done so in the past?

You are NOT dumb, and it doesn't help you in any way to think so. This episode will give you the mindset makeover you need to break out of the blame and shame game, and get on the path towards healing.

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What Millennial Dating is Missing with Dating Coach Kristina Persson Aug 30, 2021

Kristina Persson is a Dating & Relationship Coach who specializes in helping millennial women manifest happy relationships, WITHOUT having to spend hours on dating apps.

On the Gumball Love Podcast, Kristina and Melissa chat about what they often see millennial women doing wrong in dating that is keeping them from finding true, lasting love.

They discuss masculine and feminine energy and how it plays a role in dating, why the thought "I don't need a man, I'm an independent woman" is actually not so healthy, how to balance being a sensual woman with holding off on sex in the beginning stages of dating, and more.

Connect with Kristina

22K Followers on Tik Tok: @cantgetatextback

Instagram: @cantgetatextback

Dream Girl Dating Academy Waitlist: https://colossal-hustler-8039.ck.page/79ecb0381f

Manifest Your Dream Guy ASAP Free workbook: https://colossal-hustler-8039.ck.page/73eab0babf

Work with Melissa

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Feeling Hopeless After Divorce: How to Move Forward Aug 23, 2021

After going through a traumatic relationship, divorce, or breakup, it can be really hard to keep having hope that things will get better and everything will work out in the end. How do we not lose hope after getting beat down?

When we have a physical injury, it's clear that we need to take rest and heal. However, when it's an emotional wound, somehow there's this expectation to "move on quickly" and "bounce back."

As we know, it's not that simple. And there are some key things we need to understand before we're truly able to move on and break free. In this podcast episode, I talk about what steps you need to take after a traumatic breakup in order to heal and not lose hope.

Work with Melissa

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How to Filter Out the Wrong Men When Dating Online Aug 16, 2021

With the Delta variant on the rise, it's been highly requested to do another episode on online dating and how to navigate it, so I'll be answering some of your questions!

Online dating can be so overwhelming with endless options of people. A lot of times, we go into it when we're not ready, which can make things even worse.

Not to mention, we're inundated with zero to low effort guys sending nothing but 'how r u' or 'nice smile'.

But don't worry, in this episode I'm breaking down:

What questions to ask yourself before going into online dating so you can be crystal clear about what you're looking for
How to filter out the low effort guys and focus your attention on high quality men so you don't waste your time
Getting your mindset right and your life in order before online dating so that you feel fully confident and ready to dive in

Work with Melissa

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When Should You Have Sex with Him? Aug 09, 2021

You're having a fun night on a date, or maybe a night out, and it's come to that moment when you're wondering whether you should go back to his place or have him come back to yours for sex or not.

While I can't make this decision for you and would never try to, I do want to give you a few questions to ask yourself before making the decision and to really think about.

We'll also talk about the real reason why guys ghost after sex-- it's often not having anything to do with you, and everything to do with them.

If you're interested to book a 1-1 coaching session with me, check the links below! Please subscribe and share this podcast with your friends❤️

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What Men Want: Why Most Dating Advice is Crap Aug 02, 2021

Enter the search term "dating advice" on Google or Youtube and you're bound to come across listicles or videos with titles like "10 Things You're Doing that are Turning Men Off" or "The Number One Mistake Women Make in Dating".

From this day forward, I want you to STOP consuming content like this. It's crap!!

1. You're never gonna find the holy grail of "what men want" because all men are DIFFERENT just like all women are different

2. This type of advice does not teach you how to have a deep, intimate relationship..it teaches you how to catch the attention of shallow men

3. The pick up artists who sell this advice never speak from personal experience and are almost never in successful, healthy relationships themselves.

Forget it all!! In this episode, I break down how to discern the crap advice from the credible advice that actually helps you find true, committed love.

Work with Melissa

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Does He Have the Capacity to Love? Jul 16, 2021

When we've dated Gumball Guys in the past, often it's daunting and scary to get back into dating because we've been burned before. We're a bit jaded and skeptical that all guys are jerks.

Well, hindsight is always 20/20, but we can try some things during the dating stage to test the waters and see if he's really ready for love and commitment.

Junk "dating advice" will give you a lot of short-term strategies for getting a Gumball Guy. Well, ya got him..and now you wish you never met him. This episode is about LONG-TERM..how to actually find the right guy for you, who will be someone you can lean on in tough times, a teammate to take on life together.

Tune in to this episode to find out what type of inner work you should be doing to see if you are ready for love, as well as what you should be looking out for in a guy to see if he has the capacity to love as well.

Resources Mentioned

How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera

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How a Small Town Girl found her Passion in Saigon, Vietnam with Dana Drahos, Women's Nutritionist Jul 09, 2021

In this special interview, I'm interviewing my podcast manager of two years, Dana Drahos!

Dana ditched corporate America life in July 2018 for the adventure of a lifetime, moving abroad to Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), Vietnam. She started out teaching English, and over the past three years has gone on a wild ride of finding her passion, starting her own podcast Creators in Saigon, healing from childhood trauma, and discovering herself.

She has just gotten certified as a Holistic Nutritionist and Health Coach and is dedicated to helping women overcome their PMS symptoms like bad cramps, heavy bleeding, acne, migraines, mood swings, etc. through nutrition and lifestyle changes (yes, it's possible!).

In this episode, we interview Dana to talk about:

What events lead up to her decision to actually quit her job and move to Vietnam
Why she chose Vietnam and what steps she took to get there
What it was like when she first got there
Her path from teaching, to starting her own podcast, to producing podcasts for clients (like Melissa), and now moving into helping women balance their hormones through nutrition
Her tips for the first steps women can take to reducing their PMS symptoms
Some of her Gumball Guy experiences and how working on Gumball Love for the past two years has personally helped her

This episode is for you If you're:

Struggling to find what you're passionate about
Hating your job but too scared to leave
Have always wanted to live abroad
Struggling with PMS symptoms (heavy bleeding, mood swings, bad cramps, acne, migraines, etc.)

Feel free to message Dana if this story has inspired you or if you have any more questions for her. She also shares a lot about health and wellness in her Instagram stories!

Resources Mentioned

MyFlo app for period symptom tracking (search for it in your app store)

Get in Touch with Dana

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dana.drahos

Email: dana@danadrahos.com

Podcast: Creators in Saigon

Work with Melissa

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What Does it Mean to be Ready for Love? Jul 02, 2021

How do you know if you are "ready for love"? The depiction of love and romance in Hollywood movies certainly sets the wrong expectations for us around what healthy love, dating and relationships look like. After many years of dating and relationships, learning from the mistakes, and finally meeting the love of my life at age 43, I share how I knew I was ready for love, and what signs you can look out for in your own life.

Resources Mentioned

How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera

Work with Melissa

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How to Break Free from Toxic Thought Patterns Jun 18, 2021

This is a quick episode where I wanted to talk about a new concept I heard from Dr. Caroline Leaf about thoughts, and how to stop the pattern of negative thinking and sleepless nights filled with anxious thoughts! I share with you a helpful exercise that she explained, and tie it back to how this relates to childhood trauma and our tendencies to date Gumball Guys.

Resources Mentioned

How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera

The Ed Mylett Show episode with Dr. Caroline Leaf

Work with Melissa

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The More Subtle Yellow Flags You're Missing Jun 11, 2021

We hear a lot about red flags in dating, and often they are centered around what the guy is doing. Whether he's sending d*ck pics, he leaves you on "read" for days, he doesn't have any friends, etc.

In this episode, I go through each of the Gumball Guys and give you the subtle yellow flags of how you might feel around these guys, so you can start to catch yourself in these feelings and back away before you get too deep into it.

Resources Mentioned

How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera

Work with Melissa

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Should You Stay With Him? Jun 04, 2021

This episode is dedicated to all you out there who are currently in a relationship, and starting to consider if this relationship is no longer healthy for you and if you should leave.

In this episode, I share my top strategies for how to take care of yourself during this time, how to explore your emotions and thoughts around the relationship so you can get some clarity, and how to observe his behavior so that when the time comes, you are crystal clear on your decision and ready to leave.

Resources Mentioned: How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50997029-how-to-do-the-work

Work with Melissa

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Lessons Learned after 51 Dates with Romance Novel Author Jolie Moore May 28, 2021

An avid listener of the Gumball Love Podcast, Jolie reached out to me via email after listening to the episodes describing the different flavors of attention addiction. I was so impressed with how she was able to connect each "flavor" to a real life Gumball Guy she'd met over the course of her 51 first dates, I had to get her on the show!

Yes, after spending 20 years married to the wrong person, Jolie got divorced and set out to go on 50 first dates. Jolie openly shares this journey through her memoir and podcast titled "Fifty First Dates". She's also an author of several other romantic novels.

This episode is like "casual girl chat meets real coaching session". We totally dig into her current dating situation with a Gumball Guy, and decode his behaviors using the flavors of attention addiction.

We hear about what patterns she saw after going on so many first dates, how she learned to #filterlikeafreak and not just be open to anyone, what advice she'd give to other newly divorced women trying to date, and much more!

Connect with Jolie Moore

Website: https://joliemoore.com/

Podcast: https://joliemoore.com/podcast/

Work with Melissa

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Is It Time to Hire a Dating and Relationship Coach? May 21, 2021

Wondering if it's time to start working with a dating and relationship coach?

It can be scary investing in coaching. You might be embarrassed that your situation is such a mess, or worry that I'll judge you, or feel weak for asking for help.

I talked with some of the alumni of my Back to You Academy to see what thoughts were going through their mind when they decided to start coaching with me, and what advice they'd give to another woman considering coaching, but is still unsure.

In this episode, you'll hear:

What the Back to You Academy Alumni had to say about why they decided to hire a coach, and what they liked about my coaching style specifically
The difference between coaching and therapy (both complement each other well!)
How I personally ended up deciding to go to therapy and hiring coaches for my business
Why your friends can't continue to be your therapists/coaches
What you'll gain from coaching and how to know when it's right for you

If you're on the fence and want a no-pressure chance to just get to know each other and see if it's right for you, I'm offering 20min complementary calls. Don't worry, I will not try to convince you. It is completely your choice and I want you to feel good about it!

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

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What I Wish I'd Known Before Falling in Love Apr 26, 2021

In this episode, I reflect on what I wish I knew earlier on, back in the days when I was totally lost on everything love, dating and relationships. I think back to mistakes I’d made...although I don’t really like to call them mistakes, because I think everything happens for a reason and everything happens in the timing it’s supposed to.

Nevertheless, I have a list of 13 things I did that helped me on the journey of finding my true love. I believe that if I hadn’t done these things, I certainly wouldn’t be able to experience the deeply loving relationship I’m now in, because I wouldn’t know who I am, I wouldn’t love myself, I wouldn’t understand my trauma and how to manage my triggers in a healthy way, and so much more.

Let me know your thoughts and if you can relate! Please share this episode on your social media and tag me so I know if this content is resonating with you.

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

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What the Player Actually Wants Apr 10, 2021

I need your help! It's getting soo juicy writing this book, we're really beginning to pull apart the layers and get extra specific about each different type of Gumball Guy and how you can recognize them.

In this episode I give an overview of all the different "flavors" of Gumball Guys that is (hopefully) more clear and precise than ever before, so PLEASE let me know your feedback!

We especially dive into the red/sex gumball again which is now called Arouse Me and nick-named "The Player". Learn all about the red flags that you're dealing with a player here!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Follow me on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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How to Stop Getting Caught Up in the Fantasy Mar 15, 2021

Are you constantly caught up in unrealistic day dreams about a guy you just met or have been talking to for a while?

In this episode, we discuss how media has influenced our perception of love, how to uncover what your current perception of love is, signs you're caught up in an unrealistic fantasy with a Gumball Guy, what types of things you actually should be fantasizing about, and what to expect from real love.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Why You Need to Slow Down for True Love Mar 08, 2021

Today we talk about the urgency around feeling the need to "fix" all your issues and insecurities. We talk about balance in focusing on your own healing, and figuring out what you need to give yourself, but not rushing the process. Slowing down, to speed up.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Does He Want Love or Just a Hook Up? Feb 22, 2021

Many of you have been coming into my DMs or writing in the private Facebook group asking about what are the red flags to know if he's really looking for love or just a hook up?

And I'm going to share these red flags with you in this podcast, but I'm also gonna give you some tough love, because while knowing red flags is great, we need to stop focusing so much on them.

What should you really be focusing on?

Join me in this episode as I get real with you about red flags to look for, and how to start thinking about dating differently so you can filter out the bad guys and get to your one real love.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Are You Caught in the Cycle of Playing Games? Feb 15, 2021

Wondering if YOU are the Gumball Girl?

Sometimes we are the ones giving and receiving gumballs, and it feels good to get that dopamine hit. This isn't always a bad thing, if your relationship with this guy is not SOLELY based on these dopamine hits.

It becomes a problem when the guy is not seeking anything more than a quick "high", and there is no deeper level of intimacy and friendship holding the relationship together.

If you're worried you are a Gumball Girl or wondering why you're always caught up playing games in dating, this episode will help you decode what you are getting out of being with these guys and playing the games.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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Are You Giving Too Much to the Wrong People? Jan 25, 2021

When we are disappointed with another person or situation in our life, it can almost always come back to what expectations we had about that person or situation.

When someone doesn't come through for us, we assume it was their conscious choice. But often, we're assuming this person has more to give than they actually do.

Not everyone has the capacity to love you as much as you love them. And once we can recognize that and let go of expectations, our life will be much more peaceful.

Join me in this episode as I dive deeper into what boundaries are, the process of creating boundaries, how to recognize when your boundaries have been crossed, and more!

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The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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Why isn't he texting back? Jan 11, 2021

We've all been there...you're texting back and forth with a guy, and the responses are pretty quick in the beginning, everything is exciting, you're getting the butterflies....and gradually, the responses get slower and slower to be returned (or, it's very sudden that he's taking so long to reply).

You start to freak out, thinking he's not interested in you, he's texting another girl, or whatever else our creative minds think up! Your natural response may be to scold him and educate him on how he should be responding, but I want you to consider a different approach.

In this episode, I walk you through the reasons why he may not be texting back right away, why you shouldn't freak out and start imagining worse case scenarios, why you should just wait it out, and what it looks like when you're texting a healthy guy.

Other episodes mentioned

5 signs to tell early on he's not the right one

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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How to Deal with Gaslighting Jan 04, 2021

In this episode, we're digging into gaslighting. If you haven't heard of gaslighting before, it's defined as: "Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity."

If you've ever been in a situation where someone was accusing you of something that you really don't remember doing or saying, or they're totally exaggerating something you did or said and making you doubt your own judgement of reality, you're likely being gaslit.

In this episode, we cover:

What is gaslighting and how to recognize it
Example situations of gaslighting you may find yourself in
When you are most vulnerable to gaslighting
The psychological reason for why people gaslight others
How to deal with gaslighting in a safe way
Things to avoid doing when someone is gaslighting you

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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THE WHITE GUMBALL: Prove Yourself To Me Dec 28, 2020

When you're in a new relationship or just starting to go on a few dates with a guy, do you ever feel like you're being evaluated against some checklist on a clipboard?

He says things like, "When you do that it reminds me of my ex, who cheated on me..." or "I have trust issues so I can't handle it when you...". Then you find yourself doing backflips and performing trying to prove that you won't hurt him like the last girl. Things will be different this time, I'm not like the other girls!!

But he's still skeptical. And the more energy you spend trying to prove yourself, the more you lose part of your identity, the more your self confidence weakens, and the more you fall under his control.

And the more dopamine hits he gets so he can feel soothed, comforted by the fact that you probably won't leave him like the last girl.

Welcome to the last episode in this "flavors of attention" series! We've covered each Gumball flavor/color that correlates to a type of attention addiction that a Gumball Guy may have. The final episode covers The White Gumball: Prove Yourself To Me. It's white because you can picture a doctor in a white coat with a clipboard looking very skeptical and evaluating you.

After listening to this full series (links down below), you'll likely start to notice these behavioral patterns of guys you're dating or in a relationship with, and notice when you're giving them gumballs. When this happens, no need to judge yourself or to leave the relationship right away. Just becoming aware and observing are the first steps!

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The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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Gumball Flavors Series:

THE PINK GUMBALL: ITS ALL ABOUT ME Dec 14, 2020

When a guy wants the Pink Gumball type of attention, he's the one who always makes every conversation about him. You could say anything, and he'll always turn it back to him. Or when he gives you a gift, it's not for the joy of watching you light up when you receive it, it's about him being able to take all the credit for finding the gift, or how much money he spent on it, etc.

Tune in to hear more about how you can spot when a guy wants this gumball, and how to respond. This episode is also jam packed with motivation and encouragement on finding the one, so if you need a pick me up, this is it!!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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Gumball Flavors Series:

THE PURPLE GUMBALL: CHASE ME Dec 07, 2020

"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy who wants the Purple Gumball

This episode is all about the Purple Gumball, or the guy who gets high off you chasing and pursuing him. He's the guy who says and does just enough to keep you reeled in, but doesn't actually offer anything valuable to your life. He just takes and takes.

He's the one who's always "too busy" and "not ready to date"...even though he's messaging you on a dating site.

You may start to question...why is he not excited to meet with me? Is there something wrong with me?

It is NOT about you. A person who doesn't respect another person's time, doesn't respect themselves.

Tune in to listen to the full break down of the Purple Gumball, and how you can respond to this behavior.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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Gumball Flavors Series:

THE BLUE GUMBALL: Pity Me Nov 29, 2020

This episode is about the Blue Gumball, or as I like to call it, "Pity Me". This is the guy (or person, if it's one of your friends or family members), who is always complaining about everything and wants your constant sympathy and pity. You try and give them advice, but they never take action on anything. They just want to hear themselves complain.

We all have our low moments where sometimes we just want to vent, and we just need a pep talk. But there is a difference between this, and the unhealthy attention addiction.

I break this down further in the episode, as well as how to spot when a guy wants a Blue Gumball, and when you are giving the Blue Gumball. I also offer suggestions about how to respond to the Blue Gumball, immediately shutting it down so you're not giving away your precious energy, love and nurturing to someone who will actually receive and appreciate it.

If you think you're dealing with a Gumball Guy and feeling stuck, sad, confused, alone...PLEASE don't hesitate to book a call with me! I promise I'm not scary:) No situation is too messy...I love the mess! Check the links below to get in touch!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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Other Suggested Episodes:

The Green Gumball: Compete with Her for Me Nov 23, 2020

The Green Gumball: Green with Envy, Compete with Her for Me, is the guy who you'll be sitting with at your first or second date and he says, "I've gone on a few dates with this other girl, and I really thought she was it for me, but now that I've met you...I really like you too. I'm just not sure."

Just imagine, how do you feel in that moment?

You may feel the sudden urge to prove yourself worthy. Prove that YOU'RE the right choice, and start to compete with her. And that's exactly what gives him the high.

Know that none of what he does is about you. It is HIS insecurity, and he's just manipulating you and trying to get a reaction so he can feel better about himself.

In this episode, I give you all the red flags of a Green Gumball, how to respond when you're on a date with one or in a relationship with one, and how to stop going after these types of guys.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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THE YELLOW GUMBALL: ENTERTAIN ME Nov 16, 2020

Does it feel like you always have to be entertaining your guy, or he's bored?

A while back I'd started a series assigning a different color or "flavor of attention" to each type of Gumball Guy.

I've already done an episode on the Red Gumball, which is the guy who is all about sex, and the Orange Gumball, which is the guy who wants the intense drama.

In this episode, I talk about the Yellow Gumball, which is the guy who wants you to entertain him or put all your attention on him.

He's that guy who is like a giant fussy baby...always too hot, too cold, the music is too loud or not loud enough, he's tired, he's bored at the party asking how much longer you have to stay.

He's looking on his phone rather than paying attention to anyone around him, if the attention isn't on him he's uninterested.

We talk about:

How to identify if he's a Red, Orange, or Yellow Gumball
How to respond to the Yellow Gumball guy, especially if they're a family member and can't always be avoided
Why we attract the Yellow Gumball
Sneak peak of the rest of the upcoming colors

Other episodes mentioned:

The Red Gumball: sex, porn, strip clubs, prostitutes, want a sexy picture, compliments on body, friends with benefits
The Orange Gumball: drama. storms out. stonewalls, picks fights. punishes you when you don't do what he wants. calls you crazy. calls you names

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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How to See Your Value When You Don't Feel Like Enough Nov 09, 2020

In this episode, I'm answering your questions!

**Trigger warning: suicide is discussed in this episode**

We've got scenarios like..

After the fifth date, when things seemed to be going great and even the topic of marriage was touched upon, seemingly out of no where the guy says he doesn't think they're a good fit. Our girl wants to know, "What did I do wrong?"
A woman is worried she isn't as established or successful in her career as the potential guy is
Lastly, an ex boyfriend told a woman that she wasn't good in bed. Then, she saw a new guy for a bit, and the guy ghosted her, so she believes it's confirmed that she's not good in bed

The answers to these questions lie in understanding our own unique value, as well as the importance of communication.

Tune in to learn how to see your own value and worth, especially when you don't feel good enough, and how to see ghosting from a whole new perspective.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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Soni Pelty Left an Abusive Marriage, Discovered Herself, and Found Real Love Nov 02, 2020

If you are currently considering leaving your marriage, going through a divorce, or dating after divorce, you're gonna want to listen to this episode for some serious inspiration!

Soni Pelty got married at age 19 through an arranged marriage, as is custom in her Indian heritage.

Things seemed fine the first couple months, until she discovered her husband's porn addiction.

After 22 years of dealing with this addiction, physical and emotional abuse, and fighting, Soni finally got the strength to leave the marriage after some wise words from her then 15 year old son.

In her 40's and getting back into the dating game, Soni went on 300..yes, 300 dates!! With very clear intentions about what she wanted, until she finally found the man of her dreams and got remarried!

But it wasn't just about finding the man. The most important part for Soni was finding herself and realizing her worth. Now, she helps other women do the same as a relationship coach.

Highlights of this episode:

Soni explains the process of arranged marriage and what this experience was like for her at 19 years old
How her marriage began to fall apart and what finally led her to divorce him
Advice for women currently considering divorcing, or recently divorced
How Soni began to discover herself and what she wants, and her journey going on 300 dates and finding the love of her life

Follow and Work with Soni

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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How to Elevate Your Life on a Budget Oct 26, 2020

In this episode, learn how to elevate your life and boost your energy levels on a budget. We'll talk about how to bring hobbies, community, and people into your life like fitness trainers, personal chefs, personal assistants...and not break the bank. You'll learn how to focus on only the things that you do really well and that bring you joy, and outsource or systemize the rest.

When things in our life are out of order, disorganized, not clean..and when we're out of shape or not keeping up with eating healthily, we start to feel bad about ourselves and it causes negative ripple effects in other areas of our life.

We really need to get our priorities straight. So often I see women say they don't have enough to hire a fitness trainer but they're shopping in Amazon for their next pair of shoes.

In order to, to elevate your life, you have to actually commit to the idea of investing in yourself, and know that you are worth it. Know the value of you living a healthy life, where you'll have the energy to help even more people.

We'll go over:

How to hire a trainer on a budget
How to get comfortable at the gym and actually look forward to going
Getting a better night sleep
How to eat better, save time on shopping for groceries and meal prep and hire a personal chef
How to hire the right person for you
Life coaching on a budget
Business assistance on a budget
How to get out of your house more and get involved in the community
How to preserve your energy when politics come up

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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How will I know if he's the right guy? Oct 19, 2020

In this episode I'll be answering a listener question: How will I know if he's the right guy? She also feared that she may have so much self worth and love that no guy will ever be good enough for her. So if you've asked yourself similar questions, you'll want to tune in to this episode!

There are tons of "lists" out there that you'll find on Buzzfeed or wherever, but you know I always say there are no hard and fast "rules" in love, or one size fits all. So, this is a list of some simple things to look out for and what I've personally experienced after dating many guys who were definitely NOT the right one, and finally finding the guy who is.

I also discuss how to be supportive and compassionate, without playing the role of his therapist and trying to help him heal when it's too big for you to handle (because you're not his therapist!!).

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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Will he complete me? Finding what makes your heart sing Oct 12, 2020

Are you sitting there, waiting to find someone to "complete" you?

Do you feel like your life won't really begin, or you can't let it begin, without finding "The One"?

Are you feeling purposeless and unfulfilled in your life, and thinking if you could just find the guy, things would finally all fall into place and you'll be happy?

Then you NEED to hear this episode my girl!!

Unfortunately, Hollywood gives us this perception that we are all incomplete people, and we need to find the one who will complete us and we'll ride happily into the sunset.

It's a lie. We must first learn to see ourselves as complete, and love ourselves just as we are right now. We must focus on fulfilling our own lives and stop waiting for the guy.

In this episode, I dive into how you can start finding fulfillment in your life while you are single, and really enjoy the single phase.

I also discuss:

How Gumball Love became my calling..I didn't just stumble onto it and I didn't always know that this was my calling
How I figured out my significant other was the one for me
Why we love the 50 Shades of Grey Movies/Books even though we know it's bad
How to get clearer on who you are and what you want
How to find happiness and fulfillment in your life right now (while still single)

I also share some exciting news about my "little sister" from the Big Brothers Big Sisters program!!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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Is Your Ex Still In Your Head? Oct 05, 2020

Are you carrying around the weight of how your ex made you feel not good enough, into new relationships? Or maybe it's even affecting relationships with friends, family, or your work life. Don't beat yourself up about it or carry shame around about it!

The message I want to get across in this episode is that:

These men are insecure, so they try to dim your light to make themselves feel better
We all come from messy backgrounds, many of us didn't receive healthy love with our parents, so we need to do our own work to heal and not rely on a partner to be the constant source of our happiness
We also need to question whether these men whose opinion we're so worried about, is actually a healthy person capable of true love
Use this time of being single to REALLY get to know and love yourself

I go much deeper into all of these things and use an example of a recent client situation--a high-achieving, ambitious woman who was made to believe that she should tone down her accomplishments and achievements. It's such an eye opener!!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
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How to Stop Anxiety Sep 28, 2020

When we are experiencing anxiety, it often means we are focusing on and worrying about things that are out of our control. 2020 has been full of things out of our control, so let's talk about how to soothe ourselves when anxiety starts creeping up and stop it from taking over us!

First, I'll chat about what anxiety is and what can cause it. Then, I'll be sharing with you everything that has worked for me for grounding myself in those moments where anxiety becomes overwhelming.

As always, remember that there is NOTHING wrong with you. Anxiety is not a part of you, it's normal, and it's something we can manage.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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Do You Have an Anxious Attachment Style in Relationships? Sep 21, 2020

We can talk about avoiding red flags and Gumball Guys, but when it comes to actually being in a healthy relationship and being attracted to a healthy relationship, I want to bring to your attention that you may have anxiety around the actual attachment part.

****

We don't have to be perfect and totally secure before entering a relationship, but it's important to become aware of your attachment style so that you can sooth yourself and know what you need, rather than relying on your partner, because they're really not capable to help you.

****

In this episode of Gumball Love, I discuss:

What are some signs you may have an anxious attachment style
How do we develop an anxious attachment style
How to sooth ourselves and meet our own needs when our anxiety is coming out in our relationship

***

Please remember, I am not a therapist and the content of this episode is not to be substituted for therapy with a professional. Someday soon I hope to bring a therapist onto this podcast to teach us even more about attachment styles, so if you know of anyone, please send them my way!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
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I'm doing everything right...where is he? Sep 14, 2020

I'm back after a podcasting hiatus! 2020 has been full of twists and turns as we all know, and I wanted to give you the full rundown on what's been going on in my life behind the scenes. In this episode of Gumball Love I spill all the details on finding the love of my life, moving out of my beloved home of New York City, and the exciting new direction Gumball Love is heading!

*****

We're also really going to dig into a common topic I hear from many of you in the Private Facebook group. Which is, when you feel like you're doing everything right, you're implementing the advice I'm giving you...and yet, you're still not finding love.

*****

We examine the common beliefs and conditioning you may have that are standing in your way of you finding love, and how to rework these beliefs, decondition and shift your mindset, so you can make space for sustainable love!

Learn to Love Yourself After Divorce with Tonya Carter, Coach and Author of 'Divorce Your Story: A Woman's Guide to Heal & Thrive after Divorce' Sep 07, 2020

Tonya Carter is a certified relationship coach, author, speaker and podcast host that specializes in helping divorced women find their voice, regain their power and obtain personal freedom to live a thriving life.

Her podcast, “The Reinvent U Podcast”, focuses on mindset, emotions, finances, health, faith, love, parenting and building meaningful relationships, in order to become the best version of themselves in their personal lives, families and professional environment.

She is also the author of the book, "Divorce Your Story: A Woman’s Guide to Heal & Thrive after Divorce."

In this episode of the Gumball Love Podcast, Tonya opens up about her journey from divorce, five job losses in four years, unhealthy relationships, financial hardships, health setbacks and balancing single motherhood. She decided to stop being the victim and became the victor of her life and shares with us how she helps other women do the same!

Follow and Work with Tonya Carter

Website: https://www.tonyacarter.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mstonyaspeaks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mstonyaspeaks/

Follow and Work with Melissa Leger

Website: https://www.gumballlove.com

Private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelissaleger/

Women tell all! Behind the scenes - Private Clients Tell Their Stories LIVE and Unedited: May 28, 2020

This episode is my favorite of all time. My private clients in Back to YOU Academy agreed to share their stories and their journey with YOU.

This is such an amazing opportunity to see and hear the real and raw details behind some amazing transformations.

We would LOVE to hear your feedback on this episode. Tag me on IG @TheMelissaLeger.

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Download the Red Flags guide

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

Join the Private VIP Facebook Group

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Casual Chat in this Crazy Time Mar 25, 2020

Hey girls! Just wanted to check in with you. I recorded this a few days ago but had some technical difficulties.

Just wanted to chat with you one-on-one. I know this is such a weird time, scary time and so much unknown.

I hope this lifts your spirits and gives you a little more hope! Love you xoxo.. Melissa

THE ORANGE GUMBALL: DRAMA Mar 05, 2020

"I just can't deal with the drama." The famous line from the guy that creates all the drama.

He Gaslights, picks fights storms out, stonewalls and acts bored if you aren't keeping things exciting.

In this episode we go deep into all the ways the Gumball Guy gets you to feed into drama and create the intensity he craves.

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Download the Red Flags guide

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Follow me on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

The Gumball: Why he craves it, why you give it and why you might want it too. Mar 05, 2020

The Gumball represents attention. But why is attention such a big deal? What actually happens when we get attention? What is the real reward?

In this episode we go deep in to the brain and unlock the keys you have never been told about Gumball Love before. The science behind attention addiction that will have you grabbing your pen and taking notes!

The article I reference in this podcast can be found here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/obesely-speaking/201411/excessive-attention-seeking-and-drama-addiction

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Download the Red Flags guide

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

THE RED GUMBALL: He's all about SEX: Feb 27, 2020

Let’s Talk about SEX?

When he brings everything back to sex, one of his favorite flavors of attention is the RED GUMBALL.

You are talking about something else and then pretty soon it’s a sexual innuendo, an unsolicited penis picture or the famous “Wanna come over?”

You don’t really get a lot of dates with this guy, he seems to have only one things on his mind.

But what does this really mean?

This podcast we go into depth about this like you may not have thought of it before.

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Download the Red Flags guide

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

Join the Private VIP Facebook Group

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

The 8 FLAVORS of GUMBALL LOVE! What does he crave? Feb 17, 2020

REAL LOVE or GUMBALL LOVE?

INTRODUCING FOR THE FIRST TIME… The 8 Flavors of Gumball Love!

If you are brand new to Gumball Love you have arrived at the right time. IF you have been here for a while… it’s about to LEVEL UP!

Gumball Love is the appearance of connection hidden in temporary sugar highs.

Everyone loves a sugar high… are you connecting to the HIGH or building real connection?

Grab a pen and paper! This one is PACKED with tips you won’t want to miss!

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

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Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Episode 56: Are you Emotionally Unavailable? Dec 09, 2019

Are you emotionally unavailable?

I never thought I was until Dr. Debbie gave me and so many of you an A-Ha! moment that changed everything.

If I am meeting the needs of others I am unavailable to allow someone else to meet my needs. I literally won’t be attracted to a nice guy because I have the unconscious contract to someone else.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! WHAT??? How is this possible? AND…how have we gone our whole lives not knowing this.

Think about it… you could be attracting unavailable men right now because of this and ONE TINY change in your mind and a few boundaries could be the paradigm shift.

This episode we also go deep into Dr. Debbie’s list of what it means to no longer be a dissatisfied single. It is actually possible to say good-bye to dating anxiety and not take rejection so harshly.

I wanted this chat with you as I know how much my private clients really needed to talk this through. I hope this helps you unpack and sort it all out.

About Dr. Debbie:

Dr. Debbie Magids, Ph.D. is a counseling psychologist with a thriving practice In New York City. She is the author of All the good ones aren’t taken: Change the Way You Date and Find Lasting Love. (Order it!, It’s life changing)

Dr. Debbie also appears on Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, Today, the Steve Harvey Show, Good Day New York, Fox News, Montel Williams and Howard Stern.

In short, Dr. Debbie is at the top of her game and knows her stuff. Please share this podcast with your friends and tag @DrDebbie with your thoughts/questions.

I highly encourage you to pick up Dr. Debbie’s book, The Good Ones Aren’t All Taken: Change the way you date and find lasting love.”

https://amzn.to/2qJTipb

Also: Dr. Debbie has written two blog posts as additions to her book you will find very helpful and a nice summary of our discussion.

https://www.drdebbie.com/why-you-re-still-single--part-1.html

https://www.drdebbie.com/why-your-still-single--part-2.html

Contact Dr. Debbie:

Instagram: @DrDebbieMagids

Website: www.drdebbie.com

Email: debbie@drdebbie.com

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this. Don’t wait another second and go listen.

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy (new pricing!!): Click here!

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Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

55. Dr. Debbie Magids - Are your parents keeping you single? Nov 25, 2019

Are your parents keeping you single?

You are attractive, smart and doing well in your career. There is no outward reason you shouldn’t be able to find love… but… what if you have developed a pattern that leads you to the Gumball Guy over and over? Is your connection with your mom or dad causing you to unconsciously follow a blueprint you never knew existed?

Get ready for your mind to be blown! You are about to obtain the keys to understanding your blueprint, develop a healthier relationship with your parent(s) and gain massive clarity into your patterns to break them once and for all.

I am beyond excited for you to hear this episode as I believe it’s the best one I have ever published. It’s the a-ha! moment I have been looking for and a huge missing piece in my content. You will hear me “go to therapy” with Dr. Debbie and feel the pain and the joy of this massive revelation.

Dr. Debbie may not know how much she changed my life in this podcast. She challenges the whole Gumball Love theory in a way I will be forever grateful. When you don’t compete and you collaborate instead, you find your life’s work so much richer and better than it was before.

Dr. Debbie Magids, Ph.D. is a counseling psychologist with a thriving practice In New York City. She is the author of All the good ones aren’t taken: Change the Way You Date and Find Lasting Love. (Order it!, It’s life changing)

Dr. Debbie also appears on Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, Today, the Steve Harvey Show, Good Day New York, Fox News, Montel Williams and Howard Stern.

In short, Dr. Debbie is at the top of her game and knows her stuff. Please share this podcast with your friends and tag @DrDebbie with your thoughts/questions.

I highly encourage you to pick up Dr. Debbie’s book, The Good Ones Aren’t All Taken: Change the way you date and find lasting love.”

https://amzn.to/2qJTipb

Also: Dr. Debbie has written two blog posts as additions to her book you will find very helpful and a nice summary of our discussion.

https://www.drdebbie.com/why-you-re-still-single--part-1.html

https://www.drdebbie.com/why-your-still-single--part-2.html

Contact Dr. Debbie:

Instagram: @DrDebbieMagids

Website: www.drdebbie.com

Email: debbie@drdebbie.com

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this. Don’t wait another second and go listen.

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Cynthia Kuehn (The Siren Confidential) on Time Management and Boundaries Nov 19, 2019

On this episode of Gumball Love we have ANOTHER incredible guest..Cynthia Kuehn from The Siren Confidential blog.

Do you feel like you just have SO much on your plate lately? You've typically thought of yourself to be a self-disciplined person but lately you just can't seem to manage your time and everything you've got going on. You feel like you're swimming against the current with no end in sight. Maybe you constantly regret saying "yes" to things that you probably should have said "no" to. Well...CYNTHIA'S GOT YOU!

Cynthia is a California-based lifestyle blogger, turned female empowerment coach. While working a nine to five medical sales job, she started The Siren Confidential blog as more of a creative outlet to share her passions of all things fashion, fitness, lifestyle and life hacks.

She transitioned into coaching earlier this year. She knew she wanted to work with females more on a one to one basis and to do something more meaningful, and she's so happy she made the transition!

She is currently working mostly with entrepreneurs or women who are wanting to be able to manage their time effectively in order to escape their nine to five and build their online business and brand, because that's exactly where she came from.

In this episode, Cynthia shares with us her juiciest tips that she uses to coach her private clients! Right off the bat we talk about expert goal setting tips, how to maintain healthy, supportive relationships and to set boundaries around the people whose energy does not serve you in reaching your highest self, how to avoid saying yes to something you really want to say no to and alll the time management hacks.

Cynthia also gives us a look into her morning routine and what she calls "Silent Sundays". And of course, finally, Cynthia's best dating advice she tells her clients so that they can stop wasting their time and get back to living their best life!

Shownotes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/cynthia-kuehn-the-siren-confidential-on-time-management-and-boundaries

Get in touch with Cynthia

Subscribe to her newsletter to download her Manifesting Worksheet!: https://www.thesirenconfidential.com/

Instagram: @TheSirenConfidential Email: Hello@thesirenconfidential.com

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy (new pricing!!): Click here!

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Girl on Fire with Cara Alwill Leyba Nov 08, 2019

I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code.

Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey with The Champagne Diet blog, she is releasing her 9th book, Girl on Fire: How to choose yourself, burn the rule book, and blaze your own trail in life and business.

I love Cara and her book because unlike a lot of other coaches out there who will tell you they know the best way to do things, Cara inspires you to find YOUR way, to blaze YOUR unique trail and find what lights YOUR fire. She is also extremely relatable, in the sense that she struggled with her weight for years, had deep self-esteem issues, dated guys that were wrong for her, and settled for less.

In this episode, we'll teach you how to identify what self-limiting beliefs you have that are holding you back from expanding into the badass woman that you are.

You'll also learn how to "style your mind" to love yourself fully and celebrate your life every day in every moment, not just the "champagne for special occasions" moments.

Cara also gives us some actionable tips about how to get out of the comparison game we often find ourselves in on social media, and shares with us what advice she wish she could have told herself years ago about dating and relationships.

Full shownotes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/girl-on-fire-with-cara-alwill-leyba

Support Cara:

Get Girl on Fire on Amazon!!

Read the blog: http://caraalwill.com/

Listen to Cara's podcast, Style Your Mind: http://caraalwill.com/podcast/

Follow Cara on Instagram: @thechampagnediet

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Download the Red Flags guide

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Is he falling in love or is he full of BS? Nov 04, 2019

How do you know if he's really falling in love? If he's REALLY into you, or....if he's full of crap. In this episode, we're talking about how to know if the romance you're experiencing is really built to last for the long term or if it's just a temporary high.

Show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/signs-to-know-if-he-is-falling-in-love-for-real

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

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Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Follow me on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Does he need the chase? (and big announcement!!) Oct 28, 2019

Today I have a BIG EXCITING announcement about the Back to YOU Academy and membership!! Listen in for details!

And, I will be addressing an interesting thing a dude said to one of the girls I’m coaching. After a while of fun dates, he expressed that he’s no longer interested, with the reasoning: “I guess I just need the chase.”

The chase.

An ages-old tactic that still makes its way into dating advice articles for some reason. The idea that the woman has to be mysterious, and not give away too much, to keep the guy on the hook so he keeps interested.

But is this tactic legitimate? Let’s stop and REALLY examine this. So often we hear it and we just take it at surface level because we’ve heard it over and over so it becomes just part of the things we “know” until they’re proven wrong (like how we “need” to eat meat to get enough protein).

So when he says he needs the chase, what does that really mean?

Shownotes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/do-I-need-to-make-him-chase-me

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

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Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

The Biggest Lie We're Told As Women Oct 23, 2019

Why do men cheat? The answers to this question that you'll find online or that a cheater will tell you are the biggest lies we are told as women. The answers are made to make us feel as though we are somehow responsible for their behavior and that we have the power to change it.

Cheater/society: "All men cheat."

Mainstream media response: "8 ways to spice up your love life so he doesn't want to cheat!"

In this episode I'll be referencing the work of therapist Dr. Robert Weiss in his article, 13 Reasons Why Men Cheat and applying the Gumball Love concept so we can understand the difference between the lies and the bad dating advice, and the truth and good dating advice.

Shownotes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/why-do-men-cheat

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

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Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

23 Ways to Help Your Friend Who's Dating a Jerk Oct 14, 2019

Sometimes we'd do more to help our friends than we do to help ourselves. We have the best intentions and think we're helping, but sometimes we're actually making the process longer for her.

This episode will teach you how to compassionately help your friend (or your daughter, or your mom, whoever!) through this tough time, and might even show you how you can be more compassionate to yourself. I have for you 23 tips and questions to ask that I personally use when I'm coaching my girls, to help her see for herself that he is a jerk. You'll find out why telling her to leave him is NOT effective.

"The goal of the conversation is never to get her to break up with him. Ever." -Melissa Leger, dating expert and creator of Gumball Love

Shownotes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/my-friend-is-dating-a-jerk-how-do-i-help-her

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

Join the Private VIP Facebook Group

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

9 reasons why we always attract the wrong men Oct 07, 2019

Why do we date the wrong guy over and over again? I've covered a lot in the past about why the bad guys (the Gumball Guys) act the way they do, but it's time to talk about YOU. There's two people involved in these relationships and you're one of them, so what's your part in all of this?

In this podcast episode I will cover 9 reasons why you might be caught in this pattern of always dating bad guys (even when you've spent time in therapy!). By the end of this episode you will have the questions to ask yourself in order to really become self-aware about your behavioral patterns and where they came from. You'll also know how joining the Back to YOU Academy can help you go even deeper on finding the root cause of these behaviors and how to truly heal.

For full show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/9-reasons-why-we-always-attract-the-wrong-men

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Are you forcing yourself to be someone you're not? Sep 30, 2019

Did you know that before you have a one on one coaching session with me, I don't really know exactly what I'm going to say to you?

It's not because I'm not a good relationship coach.

It's because each and every one of my girls is a totally different person with their own story and challenges. I will customize the call to fit your specific needs.

My message to you in this podcast episode is that we often get caught up in the pressure of trying to do things the "right" way and to force a certain timeline in our pursuit of love. But whose right way? Whose timeline?

We are not meant to all be the same. And we're not meant to all find our life partner in the same way and in the same timeframe.

We ARE all meant to find our purpose, and we can't do that if we continue to put so much pressure and stress on ourselves to be like everyone else or meet everyone else's expectations.

You feel the most alone when you're trying to be somebody you're not. Many people in marriages end up feeling alone because they weren't being themselves from the beginning.

In the Back to YOU Academy, we figure out who you ARE. And there's no "one size fits all we're doing it this way" answer. This is the space where we let go of all the rules and do what truly feels natural for you as your unique, beautiful self.

The next Academy starts Monday, October 7th, 2019, 8pm EST. If you're ready to find who you are, we are so ready to have you!!

Resources mentioned:

The Me that I Want to Be: Becoming God's Best Version of You by John Ortberg

Mark Groves "Create the Love" Instagram: @createthelove

Steven Speaks Instagram: @stevenspeaks

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

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Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

The Vicious Cycle You Don't Know You're In Sep 23, 2019

There is a reason why you feel exhausted all the time. Your energy is being sucked right out of you. And this is costing you everything- your relationship with friends and family, your career, your finances, and most of all, your happiness. When you're in an unhealthy relationship, you are caught in a vicious cycle I like to call the "Good Bad Ugly" phase.

Good: The honeymoon period after a fight. You're cuddling, having intense sex, he's doing big romantic gestures. It's an extreme, intense high.

Bad: He starts pulling away again. He's not responding to texts, he's acting suspicious, he's spending all his time fixating on a distraction like fantasy sports, porn, drinking, other women or whatever is his personal flavor. You're trying to talk to him and find out what the problem is and he insists nothing's wrong, you're just acting crazy.

Ugly: The big, intense, explosive fight sesh that goes until 4 in the morning. You've said it's over. You've said this is the last chance.

Repeat.

In this podcast, I go in depth on each phase and why this is NOT what real love looks like(!) and how it is negatively impacting your life. I talk about what real love DOES look like, and how I can help you get out of the toxic relationship, become happily single, and then find the healthy, secure loving relationship that you deserve and are capable of.

I also read some real feedback from inside the Back to YOU Academy Facebook group, talking about how the Academy has helped them. We're waiting with open arms for you to join us!! Give yourself a chance at real love. There is no dress rehearsal in life. We are live, right now.

It is especially important for you to do if you have children. Imagine the impact it will have on them to be able to watch their mother stand up for herself, know that she deserves better, and totally change the course of her life? They will never forget it and will carry that lesson into their own lives.

The next Academy starts Monday, October 7th, 8pm EST. Click the link below to join!

For full show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/how-to-break-the-cycle-of-an-unhealthy-relationship

Book a session with me: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the Back to YOU Academy: https://www.gumballlove.com/back-to-you-academy

Join the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse/

Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Follow me on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Why you haven't found real love yet Sep 16, 2019

Everyone on this earth is capable of finding real, lasting love, and everyone deserves it. But not everyone knows, REALLY knows and feels in their heart that they deserve it.

This episode is for YOU if:

You're always waiting for him to text you back
You're constantly trying to mold and bend into what you think he wants you to be
You have trouble relaxing on the date because you're worried about how you look or how you're coming off
You always feel like you're putting way more effort into communication and plans than he is

You were born fully capable of sending and receiving real love. And somewhere along the way, the difference between real love and Gumball love (attention addiction) got lost. But it's not gone forever. Transformations happen, I see them every day in the women I coach one on one and in the Back to YOU Academy, and you can transform, too.

I'm fired up in this episode (again) but it comes from a place of love. I've been the girl I described above, and I feel this sense of urgency to share with you that it doesn't have to be this way. I see your worth and value so clearly and I want you to see what I see. You are worthy and capable of sending and receiving REAL love, because it is your natural state.

In this episode, I will answer:

What is the ONE THING that is keeping real love out of your life?
How can you become secure again?
What does it look and feel like when you're accepting Gumball love instead of real love?
What questions can you ask yourself in the dating phase to make sure you're on the right track for real love?
What do you do when you realize you're on a date with a Gumball guy?
When you're ending things with a Gumball guy, do you need to give him a reason?
What will a date with "your person" look and feel like?

For full show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/why-haven't-I-found-real-love-yet

Book a session with me: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

Join the Back to YOU Academy: https://www.gumballlove.com/back-to-you-academy

Join the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse/

Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Follow me on Instagram: @themelissaleger

How to set boundaries in relationships Sep 08, 2019

Healthy boundaries are becoming more and more of a popular topic these days. If you didn't grow up in a family with healthy boundaries (and many of us didn't) you wouldn't even know what boundaries look like or that you could have them.

Having boundaries is important because it preserves our energy. If you're constantly letting people in who suck away your energy, you will be left totally empty, exhausted, and unable to operate at your highest frequency. The world needs your light and your energy, so let's get this sorted!

In this podcast episode we'll cover:

How to know what your boundaries are
Why setting boundaries is important
Why we often avoid setting boundaries
What happens if you don't set boundaries
How to sort out which people in your life are crossing your boundaries
What it feels like and looks like to set boundaries (examples)

For full show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/how-to-set-boundaries-in-relationships

The next Back to YOU Academy opens Monday, September 9th, 8pm EST. To join, click here: https://www.gumballlove.com/back-to-you-academy

Email me: melissa@gumballlove.com

Follow: @themelissaleger

Join the private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse/

Five signs to tell early on if he's not the right one Sep 02, 2019

If you've been following this podcast for a while, chances are by now you've come to terms with the fact that your ex was a Gumball Guy, or the guy you're dating now is a Gumball Guy (and if not, go back to the beginning!) :)

But now, as you enter back into the dating scene, you might find it difficult to trust your own judgement. You might have a hunch this guy is a Gumball Guy but you're second-guessing yourself. And the longer you are not sure and continue to feel him out, the more time you're wasting, and the more danger you're in of really falling for a Gumball Guy again.

I bet you're saying, "Melissa! I wish you could be sitting at the next table in a disguise next to us!" Well, since I can't do that, here is my gift to you...

I've dated SO many Gumball Guys, that I have a ninja sixth sense when it comes to identifying them right away. And since I can't be there with you on the date, or be looking over your shoulder at the text message thread to analyze, I've outlined some quick ways to know right away that you've got a Gumball Guy on your hands.

Pretty soon you won't even need me anymore! But until you can confidently KNOW and also LEAVE the situation and not feel bad about it, I want you to join the Back to YOU Academy or book a 1-1 coaching session with me. The next academy launches September 9th and will launch monthly from then on! Full shownotes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/five-signs-to-tell-early-on-if-hes-not-the-right-one

Head to https://www.gumballlove.com/back-to-you-academy to sign up for the next Academy starting Monday, September 9th.

Email me at melissa@gumballlove.com

Instagram: @themelissaleger

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse/

How to Respond to "Let's Take Things Slow" Aug 26, 2019

We've all heard the advice before to "take it slow" so that we don't get hurt again. When a guy says this to you, or when you're thinking you need to do this with a new guy, it may seem sensible, but it's really not.

It's another form of manipulation and control. It's saying, "I haven't done the work to heal from my past relationship, and so I'm going to carry that into this relationship and I expect you to sensor yourself so that I'm not triggered, thank you very much."

In episode 42, we cover:

What he really means by "let's take things slow"
Why requesting to "take things slow" prevents the ability to create intimacy
How to know if you're relationship is moving at a healthy speed
What happy couples say about "taking things slow" and other "rules of dating"
What to respond when he says "let's take things slow"
How to be confident in knowing that it's time to stop dating the guy who wants to "take things slow" and walk away
Updates on the transformations of the girls currently in the Back to YOU Academy
Exactly what you can expect by signing up for the Back to YOU Academy

There are men out there looking for real relationships. Our problem is we don’t know when to stop talking to the guy that’s saying he wants to take it slow.

For full show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/why-does-he-want-to-take-things-slow

Head to https://www.gumballlove.com/back-to-you-academy to sign up for the next Academy, starting 8pm EST Monday, August 26th.

Email me at melissa@gumballlove.com

Instagram: @themelissaleger

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse/

The Psychological Reason for Ghosting that No One Talks About Aug 19, 2019

The Cosmo magazines of the world will tell you you're being ghosted because you're too clingy, or revealing emotions too soon. Guys will tell you they just forgot or don't like to be on their phone all the time. But is that really the case, or is there a deeper, more psychological reason?

A guy from an online dating app texts you, "Hey, what's up." You continue on with a shallow text conversation for a while and finally ask..."Should we meet up?" Suddenly, he becomes the busiest guy in the world and can't find any time to pencil you in but keeps promising you'll meet up some vague time in the future.

By the end of this episode you will know the real reason why he does this, why it has nothing to do with you, and you will understand the true pain behind his shallow, distant texts. You will be able to separate his behavior from your self worth.

In this episode, I cover:

What "pick-up artists" for men are teaching (and not teaching) to shy, insecure guys, and why it hurts more than it helps
Why these men are so scared to go on a date with you, and why it's not about you
Why dating an insecure man and trying to convince him you like him will eventually destroy you
Why sometimes you have really amazing moments with them but ultimately it's never a happy ending
How to spot the red flags of a guy who's lacking confidence
Why trying to build up his confidence always backfires
How joining the Back to YOU Academy can help you get out of this situation and avoid these situations in the future

I also read excerpts from the book, "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? by John Powell.

Sign up before Monday, August 19th at 8pm EST to join the next Back to YOU Academy at https://gumballlove.com

Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review if you've enjoyed this podcast or email me at melissa@gumballlove.com to share any feedback or ask questions!

For full show notes and links: https://gumballlove.com/blog/the-real-reason-he-is-ghosting-you

Are you open to receiving love? Aug 12, 2019

Wow, episode number 40!! Thank you all so much who have been listening from the beginning, and those who have joined along the way.

In this episode, I get really vulnerable with you. I want to let you in on what I've struggled with along this journey of coaching and sharing the Gumball Love concept.

As a challenge to you AND to myself, we need to start claiming our success. When someone falls in love with us and sees our best qualities, we need to be open and able to receive that love.

I let you in on what it was really like for me trying to get this concept of Gumball Love started 10 years ago. It took me a long, long time of fighting my own fears and doubts in order to finally put this idea out there.

And even today, those old feelings of embarrassment creep up--it's hard for me to receive the praise from the girls in the Academy that it's literally changing their lives.

I want to know where you're at and how I can help you. Please don't hesitate to send me an email at: melissa@gumballlove.com. I want to know if you are in a relationship and need to get out of it, or if you're out of a relationship but still stuck in the past, or whatever your situation may be. I really care, and I'm really good at this, and I can finally allow myself to accept that.

Website: https://www.gumballlove.com

Instagram: @themelissaleger

Who are you really getting ready for? Aug 05, 2019

One of the girls in the Back to YOU Academy had an amazing revelation that I HAD to share with you (without sharing her name, of course!).

She was about to be going on a date with someone she met online.

And thought, as she was doing the make-up, the hair, choosing the right dress..."Who am I really getting ready for? Why am I dressing up and putting in all this effort for these guys who I don't even know?"

She is still healing from a past relationship and hasn't really gotten to a place yet where she knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin. She can't look in the mirror and say, I know exactly who that woman is.

She realized these dates are just a momentary escape that don't really serve her.

She was molding into whatever these guys wanted her to be, and not truly just being herself..because she doesn't know who that is. YET.

The real person you need to be dating right now is in the mirror.

So that eventually, when you're ready, you can sit across the table on a date, completely relaxed and confident in who you are. Your mind is cleared of insecurities and you can focus on getting to know the person across from you and having a good time.

In this episode, I talk about how you get there.

Do you feel unsure if you should be dating right now? Are you trying to get over someone and have no idea how? Do you feel like you've totally lost yourself? The Back to YOU Academy is designed to help you heal and understand exactly who you are.

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

Join the Private VIP Facebook Group

Follow me on Instagram: @themelissaleger

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