Grief Out Loud

Latest Episodes:

Honoring A Great Love - Canada Taylor Aug 30, 2024

Show notes

Twelve years ago today - August 30th - Canada Taylor was having an amazing night. She and her husband Rick were sitting outside, talking about life and work and dreams for the future - their future. Then everything changed. Rick had a medical event, and Canada became his first responder. Hours later, she became his widow. In the twelve years since, things continued to change. Canada's two sons grew up and grew into their grief. She changed the course of her career - moving from behavioral health to suicide prevention and grief justice. Throughout all these changes, Canada has found ways to honor who Rick was in this world and the love they share.

We discuss:

What Canada's husband saw in her that no one else did
The last day they spent together
Being a first responder for Rick & the trauma that brought
Supporting her two children
The challenge of finding culturally relevant grief support for her kids
How difficult it was to find skilled support for herself
A preview of how grief informs the work Canada does in the realm of suicide prevention & postvention
How Canada plans to honor the anniversary of Rick's death this year

Connect with Canada on IG @canadalauren and Linkedin

My Long-Term Relationship With Grief - Barri Leiner Grant & The Memory Circle Aug 08, 2024

Show notes

When Barri Leiner Grant was 28, her mother Ellen died suddenly. Barri was hit with intense grief, but back then the expectation was to hurry up and get back to work and life. She didn't have the time, space, or tools to acknowledge and attend to grief. Over the past 31 years, Barri and her grief have gotten to know each other on a deep level. In this long-term relationship, she's learned that her grief gets louder each time she reaches a new milestone or faces a transition. Even with that knowing, the grief can still find ways to catch her off-guard. Recently, one of those times was watching her daughter turn the same age Barri was when her mother died.

We discuss:

How Barri's mom, Ellen, was a woman before her time
The day her mother died and the last sounds she heard
What the early days of grief felt like
The untenable expectation to get back to "normal"
Finding Hope Edelman's book, Motherless Daughters
The grief tending tools Barri turned to over the past 31 years
Her daughter turning the age Barri was when her mother died
The newer grief of being a caregiver for her father who has dementia
How The Memory Circle came to be and Barri's work as a grief coach
One of Barri's favorite ways to engage with grief - writing

Barri Leiner Grant is the founder and Chief Grief Officer™, of The Memory Circle for grief support--a place and space she created in 2019, for those learning to live with loss. She left a longtime career as a journalist and motherloss peer guide, to pursue full-time work and training as a Certified Grief Coach and Educator. Connect with Barri on Instagram and Substack.

108 Ways To Survive Grief - Sweta Vikram Jul 17, 2024

Show notes

In May of 2023, Sweta Vikram was overwhelmed with grief. In the span of three days, her father died, her father-in-law died, and it was the 9-year anniversary of her mother's death. When she looked for information on how to survive the maelstrom of emotions, she found reassurances that she would eventually get to the other side, but nothing that showed her how to do that. So, Sweta set out to create the resource she was looking for and recently published, The Loss That Binds Us, a manual with 108 practical tips to survive and navigate grief.

We discuss:

The overwhelm of multiple losses
Turning to writing for solace and support
Lessons she learned from each of her parents
The impact of sudden vs. expected death
Becoming a protector & caregiver for her dad - and the comfort that brought after he died
How grief shaped Sweta's values
The meaning behind the number 108 across multiple cultures
How she managed to finish her PhD in Ayurvedic Medicine so early in her grief
Which of Sweta's tips are the easiest and hardest for her to follow
Her relationship to forgiveness in the context of grief
How she approaches the anniversary season
Sweta's self-care practices

Sweta Srivastava Vikram is an international speaker, author, and Ayurvedic Doctor who also teaches yoga and meditation.

Embodied Practices For Tending Grief - Camille Sapara Barton Jul 11, 2024

Show notes

Camille Sapara Barton is a social imagineer who is reimagining how we define and relate to grief. As a writer, artist, and somatic practitioner, Camille is looking to create a new grief narrative expansive enough to include multiple forms of individual and collective grief, especially for queer, trans, and BIPOC communities. In Camille's book, Tending Grief, they offer rituals and embodied practices for feeling into and metabolizing grief.

Camille's lived experience with grieving death & non-death losses
Support for grief that falls outside the traditional box
Grief as a generative process
Camille's learning from Dagara spiritual traditions and Sobonfu Somé
Collective grief that comes out of displacement, colonization, and threats to queer & trans people around the world
How we numb our grief and the cost of doing so
The narrative Camille is hoping to create around grief
Examples of embodied practices to tend grief

Be sure to check out Camille's new book, Tending Grief - Embodied Rituals for Holding Our Sorrow and Growing Cultures of Care in Community.

Is There A Cure For Grief? - Cody Delistraty Jun 26, 2024

Show notes

Cody Delistraty is a journalist and he's also a son whose mother died of cancer. These two identities intersect in his new book, The Grief Cure, which chronicles his quest to find a way to eliminate the pain of grief. After exploring Laughter Therapy, silent meditation, Breakup Bootcamp, and other avenues for grief expression, Cody landed where so many others do: realizing the "cure" for grief is allowing it to exist, while still engaging with life.

We discuss:

Who Cody was when his mom died
How he used to define "successful" grief
The secondary losses connected to his mother's death
How his relationship to the 5 Stages of Grief evolved over time
The quest to "cure" grief and the options he explored
Which grief memory Cody most wished he could erase
How important community can be
Learning to embrace both grief and an ongoing connection with his mother

Cody Delistraty is a journalist and speechwriter in New York City. As a journalist, he has written stories, profiles and essays for The New York Times, The New Yorker and The Atlantic, among many others. He has served as culture editor at The Wall Street Journal's magazine and as features editor of the Paris-based magazine Mastermind.

The Ripple Effect Of Loss In Portland's Black Community - Sharice Burnett, LCSW Jun 19, 2024

Show notes

It's impossible to speak for an entire community, especially when it comes to grief, but Sharice Burnett, LCSW, knows a lot about the ripple effect of loss in the Black and African American community in Portland, OR. Born and raised in the community, Sharice is a clinical mental health therapist and consultant dedicated to naming and dismantling the larger systemic barriers that stand in the way of Black children and families having access to culturally relevant support, particularly mental health and grief support.

We discuss:

Grieving the loss of an entire generation of elders during the Covid-19 pandemic
The grief and displacement from the Vanport Flood of 1948
The cultural nuances of grief
Historic, intergenerational, and collective grief
The unacknowledged grief of racism
How each death & loss ripples out to the larger Black/African American Portland community
How safety from racial harm is critical to accessing grief support services
Sharice's hopes and dreams for creating more culturally relevant grief support
Creative grief support & healing spaces for Portland's Black community (Black Rose Wellness)

This episode is the third and final in our 2024 three-part series highlighting the voices of communities who have historically been underrepresented in the grief world. The series is part of an ongoing collaboration between Dougy Center and The New York Life Foundation . We are deeply grateful for New York Life Foundation's tireless support and advocacy for children and teens who are grieving.

How To Stop Shoulding Yourself - Lisa Keefauver & Grief Is A Sneaky Bitch Jun 07, 2024

Show notes

Lisa Keefauver is a lot of things - she's a writer, speaker, educator, social worker, podcast host, mother, widow, and grief activist. She came to the last two titles when her personal experience of grieving for her husband Eric, who died of a brain tumor in 2011, intersected with her professional life as a clinician. At this intersection, Lisa realized just how grief illiterate the world is and how that illiteracy creates unnecessary suffering for those who are grieving. Lisa hosts the acclaimed podcast, Grief is a Sneaky Bitch and recently published her book, Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss.

We discuss:

The gift of love from her husband Eric
Living in the both/and of grief and life
Being a mental health professional while grieving
Navigating a breast cancer diagnosis in a medical system that failed her husband
How we bring our full history into each new loss
The "shoulds" that hassled Lisa
The grief time warp
Grief thieves - including the one in the mirror
Lisa's go-to skill in her own grief
The power of observation & being with grief as it is

Lisa Keefauver is a grief activist, speaker and author. She began her career as a social worker and narrative therapist in 2004. She expanded her activism in a variety of roles: clinical director, non-profit co-founder, clinical supervisor, facilitator of personal and professional growth and healing, and mentor. Lisa's wisdom and insights on grief are also embodied from her personal losses, including the death of her husband Eric in 2011.

Autism & Grief May 31, 2024

Show notes

The Autism & Grief Project is a new online platform designed to help adults with autism navigate and cope with the complexities of grief arising from both death and non-death losses. Alex LaMorie, A.A.S is a member of the project's Advisory Board and brings his lived experience with both autism and grief to this work. Dr. Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, MDiv, brings years of both professional and personal grief knowledge to his role on the project's Development Team. The Autism & Grief Project is unique - just as grief and autism are unique - and the site provides information not only for adults with autism who are grieving, but also the people who are supporting them.

We discuss:

Parallels between the uniqueness of grief and the individual experience of autism
What Alex found to be helpul and unhelpful in his grief
Being open to different forms of communication and emotional expression
Learning to ask for help
The goals for the Autism & Grief Project
What Alex and Dr. Doka learned from being part of the project

Alex D. LaMorie, A.A.S is an undergraduate student at the University of Maryland Global Campus and autism advocate. Alex's expressive grief artwork was recently featured in the textbook Superhero Grief: The Transformative Power of Loss (2021, Routledge). He serves as an advisor on the Hospice Foundation of America's Autism & Grief Project. In his spare time, he loves movies and TV shows as well as traveling to Comic Con and Anime conventions with his older sister. Alex also loves creative writing and spending time with his New York family so he can eat the world's best pizza and bagels!

Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, MDiv, is Senior Vice President of Grief Programs at Hospice Foundation of America (HFA) and recipient of the 2019 Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Death Education and Counseling. He serves as editor of HFA's Living with Grief® book series and its Journeys bereavement newsletter. He is a prolific author, editor, and lecturer; past president of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC); and a member and past chair of the International Work Group on Death, Dying, and Bereavement (IWG). In 2018, the IWG presented Doka with the Herman Feifel Award for outstanding achievement in thanatology. He received an award for Outstanding Contributions in the Field of Death Education from ADEC in 1998. Doka is an ordained Lutheran minister and a licensed mental health counselor in the state of New York.

This episode is the second in our 2024 three-part series highlighting the voices of communities who have historically been underrepresented in the grief world. The series is part of an ongoing collaboration between Dougy Center and The New York Life Foundation . We are deeply grateful for New York Life Foundation's tireless support and advocacy for children and teens who are grieving.

The Intimacy Of Friendship - Lissa Soep & Other People's Words May 28, 2024

Show notes

Have you ever heard someone's voice in your head and suddenly you're transported to a time and place when you were with them? This phenomenon is what Lissa Soep explores in Other People's Words: Friendship, Loss, and the Conversations That Never End, her book about the intimacy of friendship and how words and language keep people with us, even after they die. After the deaths of her friends, Jonnie and Christine, Lissa found comfort in this idea of them living on through their words.

We discuss:

Lissa's friendships with Jonnie & Christine
Grieving a sudden death vs one from a long-term illness
The unique nature of friendships formed in our 20's
How Jonnie & Christine's come back to Lissa through their words
The Russian critic Mikhail Bahktain's concept of double voicing
What Lissa's learned about how to support others who are grieving

Lissa Soep is a senior editor for audio at Vox Media and special projects producer and senior scholar-in-residence at YR Media. She has a PhD from Stanford, where she first started writing about Bakhtin.

Changing The Landscape Of Grief Support For Latino Families May 14, 2024

Show notes

Cristina Chipriano, LCSW, Dougy Center's Director of Equity & Community Outreach and Melinda Avila, MSW, CEO of OYEN Emotional Wellness Center, are committed to changing the landscape of grief support for Latino families. They bring personal and professional grief experiences to the work of ensuring that every Latino family has access to dual language grief support that honors their cultural values.

We discuss:

Cristina & Melinda's personal connection to this work
Why it's important now, in 2024, to have this conversation
What is unique about grief & grief support in the Latino community
The concept of family in the Latino community
How grief challenges our sense of self and identity
The ways people have been taught to suffer in silence
How culture informs grief and grief informs culture
Why it's critical for services to be truly bilingual
The barriers to accessing services
The first thing service providers should be thinking about when meeting with a Latino family
Cristina & Melinda's hopes for the future of grief support for Latino families

This episode is the first in our 2024 three-part series highlighting the voices of communities who have historically been underrepresented in the grief world. The series is part of an ongoing collaboration between Dougy Center and The New York Life Foundation . We are deeply grateful for New York Life Foundation's tireless support and advocacy for children and teens who are grieving.

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