Grief Out Loud

Latest Episodes:

Ep. 41: Grieving An Overdose (Part 3 of 3) - A Teen's Perspective Oct 21, 2016

Show notes

In this episode, the last in our 3 part series on grief after an overdose death, we talk with Liam who was just starting middle school when his brother died from a heroin overdose. Now a junior in college, Liam talks openly about what he experienced when the death first happened and how grief continues to be a part of his life. Liam shares suggestions for teens and their adults on how to talk about the death and provide ongoing support.

If you are looking for a peer support program for teens in your home community, you can search here. For more tips on supporting grieving teens, check out this resource from The Dougy Center.

Ep. 40: Grieving An Overdose Death (Part 2 of 3) - The Loss Of A Child Oct 16, 2016

Show notes

In part two of our three-part series on grief after an overdose death, we talk with Samina, whose son Ayaz died of a heroin overdose. The episode starts with Samina reading a poem that came to her while sitting on an airplane. She describes the poem as coming through her, as if Ayaz was speaking and she was the one with the pen. We discuss the heartbreak Samina and her family faced as they tried to help Ayaz through his addiction. Samina also shares insights from her experience and describes what helped and didn't help in the early parts of grief.

To learn more about their national networks of support groups for grieving parents, please visit The Compassionate Friends

Ep. 39: Grieving An Overdose (Part 1 of 3) - The Death Of A Brother Oct 10, 2016

Show notes

Based on numbers from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, heroin overdose deaths increased by six times from 2001 to 2014. In one state it is estimated that heroin overdose deaths jumped by 85% in the last two years. With this huge rise in overdose deaths, there is little out there on how to best support those who are left behind. Parents, children, siblings, partners, family members, and friends are left with broken hearts and so many questions.

This episode is one in a 3-part series about grieving when someone dies of an overdose. We talk with Jessica whose younger brother died in 2011. In our conversation, we discuss what it's like when you didn't know the person was struggling with substance use along with the challenges of talking about the death with well-meaning others.

Be sure to listen till the end for a special post-script by Jessica.

Ep. 38: What Helps When You're Grieving - Ideas For Body, Mind, and Spirit Aug 02, 2016

Show notes

Jana is joined by Dougy Center staff member, Heather Dorfman, to talk about what helps (or might help) in grief, outside the realm of more formal support. As you listen to this episode, keep in mind:

These ideas may help for some, not others. What's helpful can be unique for each person and very much informed by culture and other identities (just like grief).
Some may have more options around taking care of self and children than others. Support people can focus their efforts on creating opportunities for their grieving loved ones to engage in self-care and compassion.
Grief is holistic – involves emotions, body, mind, spirit/heart, community/relationships. Engaging in intentional activities to support each of these dimensions can be helpful.
Consider writing down the ideas you'd like to try - it can sometimes be tough to remember them in the moment they're needed.
If accepting help from others is challenging, consider that your acceptance of support is often experienced as such a gift by your friend or loved one – so do it for their sake if necessary!

Body/movement –

Grief can show up in our bodies as sluggishness, excess energy, stomach and sleep upsets
- Walking, hiking or otherwise moving and spending time outside
- Dancing, yoga, swimming
- Punching pillows/bed
- Knitting
- Setting a fitness goal that is safe for you
- Pay attention to what sorts of foods help with stomach upsets, and activities that help with settling into sleep and staying asleep at night.

Mind –

May experience a slow/foggy feeling in the brain, inability to concentrate/focus, confusion, rumination. Activities that help with focus, connection, and slowing things down can help.
- Learning/sharing new facts. Making calculations – concrete activities
- Reading (grief-related and non-grief books), podcasts, tv shows
- Meditating
- Crosswords/word searches/Sudoku/other games
- Debating

Emotional/spiritual/social –

Many receive support from a spiritual or other community. Your community might look like being in the trees, at the ocean, in a gym or library, participating in a support group, mosque, temple or church. Here are some other ideas:
- Meditation
- Ceremony/ritual, which can offer a sense of control, routine/structure, marking important experiences, dates
- Making or listening to music; making/experiencing other art (even coloring sheets). It may be helpful to make the activity simple for you
- Humor – which might look like dark, silly, or wry humor
- Cooking for self and others – or not cooking!
- Volunteering, which can offer the opportunity to step out of your own story for a while

To find more formal grief support in your community, visit our website to search for help near you.

Ep. 37: How To Help Children And Teens Grieving A Violent Death Jul 05, 2016

Show notes

Whether it is a murder, murder-suicide, or a being killed by a driver under the influence, violent death adds multiple layers of complexity to grief. Jana and Joan discuss what children and teens may experience, along with suggestions for how to help. For additional information, refer to our Tip Sheet: Supporting Children and Teens After a Violent Death and our interactive workbook for children. For help with talking to children about mass shootings and other large-scale tragedies, we have two resources written by The Dougy Center's Senior Director for Advocacy and Training, Donna Schuurman, Ed.D., F.T. 1) Dear Lily: a letter to a 12-year old in response to America's most recent tragedy and 2) Talking with children about tragic events.

Ep. 36: Grieving My Dad - A Son's Story May 26, 2016

Show notes

In the two years since his dad died, Mike bought a house, got married, and is expecting his first child. This episode explores what it means to grieve the person you would have turned to the most for advice and guidance on these major milestones in life. It's the story of a son whose father's values, principles, and personality continue to influence who he is and how he lives.

Ep. 35: After A Death - 5 Tips For Schools Apr 25, 2016

Show notes

Dougy Center staff member, Joan Schweizer Hoff, joins Jana to talk about the top 5 things school administrators will want to consider when a student, teacher, or staff member dies.

Top 5 Things:

Delivering the news - How do you let the community know? What do you say/not say?
The first days back at school - Suggestions for supportive activities.
Memorial activities - What types of memorials do schools consider? Is it better to do something temporary or permanent?
Identifying students who need additional help - Why it's important to pay attention to all students, not just those close to the person who died.
Ongoing support - What can your school do in the short and long-term to be helpful to students and staff?

Additional resources:

Supporting the Grieving Student - DVD -

For samples of letters to send to staff/families and a school crisis response plan:

When Death Impacts Your School - A guide for school administrators

Tangible suggestions for teachers:

Helping the Grieving Student - a Guide for Teachers

Ep. 34: The Thing I Never Thought I'd Do Again Mar 23, 2016

Show notes

There is a lot that goes unsaid in grief, particularly when it comes to dating after the death of a partner. Jana talks with Megan Devine, grief thinker, speaker, and author of the audio book, When Everything is Not Okay: Practices to Help You Stay in Your Heart & Not Lose Your Mind, about what comes up when grief and dating overlap. When do you know you're ready? How do you talk with your children?

Be sure to check out Megan's website: www.refugeingrief.com along with her talk at the World Domination Summit, 2015: http://chrisguillebeau.com/megan-devine/ and a recent article on Huffington Post: www.huffingtonpost.com/megan-devine/armchair-analysis-was-you_b_5333660.html

Ep. 33: The Importance Of Honesty - Talking With Children About Death Mar 11, 2016

Show notes

As a child Rachel Stephenson learned first hand the pain of not knowing the truth about her mother's death. The secrecy in her family led to a disconnection with her remaining parent and added layers of confusion and fear. In this episode, Rachel joins Jana with suggestions for how to talk openly and honestly with children about grief and loss.

Be sure to watch Rachel's TEDxCUNY Talk: Against Grieving in Silence - https://youtu.be/6zIFGl5tPQQ

and check out her blog Dear Dead Mother - https://deardeadmother.wordpress.com/

Ep. 32: The Youngest Grievers Feb 10, 2016

Show notes

How do we talk with the youngest children about death? What words should we use? Can they even understand? In this episode Jana talks with Joan Schweizer Hoff about what helps (and what doesn't) when it comes to supporting preschoolers after a death. While children this age don't have the cognitive capacity to fully grasp the permanence and universal nature of death, concrete explanations, patience, and nurturing provide a foundation of support as they wrestle with understanding what it means when someone they love dies.

For more information, check out The Dougy Center's Supporting Grieving Preschoolers Tip Sheet

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected