Grief Out Loud

Latest Episodes:

Encore Ep. 106: Grief & Anxiety - Claire Bidwell Smith, LCPC Mar 11, 2020

Show notes

This is an encore episode that originally aired on February 25th, 2019. When grief enters our world, many of us expect to cry and feel frustrated, but we aren't as prepared for the intense fear and worry that can also be part of loss. Someone being 10 minutes late getting home sparks visions of a car crash or getting a call from the hospital. Maybe sleep eludes us as we spin over how to do day to day life without our people. Sometimes the hardest part about anxiety is how it can catch us off-guard, either because we've never dealt with it before, or because the anxiety we already knew well has grown to an untenable level.

Claire Bidwell Smith, a licensed counselor, author, mother, and grieving daughter recently published her new book, Anxiety, the Missing Stage of Grief, that delves into all the ways anxiety can be part of grief. Before Claire was 25, both of her parents died of cancer. Her adolescence and young adulthood were deeply etched with their illnesses, treatment, and deaths. Out of this devastating grief grew her desire to help others facing similar situations.

Resources:

Claire's website Self-Care Planning Tip Sheet NASP (National Association of School Psychologists) Tips on talking with children about coronavirus/COVID-19 It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine

Ep. 138: Running Home - Katie Arnold Mar 05, 2020

Show notes

Katie Arnold is a writer, mother, grieving daughter, and ultra-marathoner. After her father died of cancer, Katie developed intense anxiety about her health - every headache and muscle pain felt life-threatening. A runner from a young age, Katie took to the trails and started running longer and longer distances, eventually becoming an ultra-marathoner and running 50K, 100K, and 100 mile races. She recently published her memoir, Running Home, where she interweaves memories of her father and the present day maneuvering of grief. Be sure to check out Running Home - A Memoir & Katie's website. Listen all the way to the end of the episode for a clip of Jana's interview with Danny Koordi on the Screwed Up Moments podcast!

Ep. 137: Grief & The Foster Care System - A Personal Story Feb 28, 2020

Show notes

Kevin is a previous participant in the L.Y.G.H.T. Program - Listening & Led by Youth in the Foster Care System: Grief, Hope, and Transitions. We discuss how a random vending machine trip prompted him to join the L.Y.G.H.T. Program, the support he found in the group as he grieved both death and non-death losses, and how he carries what he learned into his daily life.

To learn more about the L.Y.G.H.T. Program, be sure to listen to Ep. 136: L.Y.G.H.T. - Supporting Grieving Youth in the Foster Care System.

Ep. 136: L.Y.G.H.T. - Supporting Grieving Youth In The Foster Care System Feb 21, 2020

Show notes

While we usually talk about the grief associated with a diagnosis or a death, this episode focuses on meeting the needs of youth in the foster care system who are grieving non-death and death losses. Dr. Monique Mitchell, Ph.D., F.T., is the Director of Translational Research & Curriculum Development at The Dougy Center and Juliette Martinez, M.S.W., is the Coordinator of the L.Y.G.H.T. Program - which stands for Listening and Led by Youth in Foster Care: Grief, Hope, and Transitions. This peer support program for youth in the foster care system is based on The Dougy Center's grief support model. We discuss the unique needs of grieving youth in the foster care system, how the L.Y.G.H.T. Program works to address these needs, and the ways this work affects and inspires Monique and Juliette. To learn more about L.Y.G.H.T, email lyght@dougy.org or visit www.dougy.org.

Ep. 135: The Worst News - An Update Feb 11, 2020

Show notes

This episode first aired in July of 2018. Since that time, Eidan's brain tumor began growing again in early 2019. On October, 26, 2019, just a few weeks after her 35th birthday, Eidan utilized Oregon's Death With Dignity and died surrounded by a small group of her family and friends. Eidan is deeply loved and missed by her wife, Michelle, their baby Gemma, her family, and everyone who had the opportunity to know her. In December of 2014, Eidan was a young professional moving up in her career as an engineer. In the last year and a half she'd gotten married, started a new job, and she and her wife Michelle were busy doing what they loved - going to live music, doting on their five animals, and spending time with friends and family. Then, on January 13th, 2015, everything changed. Eidan went for an MRI and before she made it back to her car, the doctor called and asked her to return to the hospital. They had seen a mass in her brain. The eventual diagnosis: a grade 3 astrocytoma wrapped around her brain stem. Three and a half years later, Eidan is living with cancer. We talk about what it's like to be a young adult with this diagnosis that has no cure and no definitive course. We also discuss how she and her wife are making decisions about finances and the intentional way they choose to spend time and energy. Eidan shares suggestions for supporting those dealing with a cancer diagnosis, including what questions to ask (and not ask) and ways to show up that really make a difference. The First Descents program we talk about provides life-changing outdoor adventures for young adults (18-39) impacted by cancer. Be sure to check them out!

Ep. 134: Breath, Movement, Sound - Grief Yoga With Paul Denniston Jan 31, 2020

Show notes

Paul Denniston grew up with rigid cultural, religious, and gender expectations for what was appropriate when it came to expressing grief and emotions. This translated as, "Don't express anything besides happiness." There was no room for sadness, fear, grief, or vulnerability. After years of pushing these feelings aside, Paul turned to movement as a way to start expressing them. He began a yoga practice and then trained to be a teacher. From this start, he went on to create Grief Yoga, a program for transforming grief through sound, breath, and movement. We talk about finding emotional fluidity, sobriety, grieving the deaths of his sister and beloved dog, and the positive effects of cute raccoon videos. You can connect with Paul and his teaching at www.griefyoga.com

Ep. 133: Widowed Parenting - Jenny Lisk Jan 23, 2020

Show notes

Just over four years ago, Jenny Lisk's husband Dennis died of glioblastoma - brain cancer. This loss propelled her into a new world of solo-parenting their two children who were just 9 and 11 at the time. Jenny went searching for a guidebook to help navigate this new reality, but when she couldn't find what she was looking for, she decided to create her own. She started the Widowed Parent Podcast, interviewing other widowed parents, professionals, and people who had a parent died when they were children, and is currently working on two books - a memoir about her family's experience and The Widowed Parent Handbook.

We talk about being a caregiver, telling children difficult news, parenting solo, and what Jenny's learned over the past four years. Be sure to listen to the Widowed Parent Podcast and check out her "What I've Learned About Widowed Parenting" guide.

Ep. 132: Finding Meaning - David Kessler Jan 17, 2020

Show notes

David Kessler is a renowned author, speaker, and retreat leader. He co-authored two books, On Grief and Grieving and Life Lessons, with another grief and loss icon, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. As with so many who are drawn to working with grief, David's professional path started with the personal. At 13 he witnessed a mass shooting while his mother was dying in the ICU. In 2016 he became a grieving parent when his younger son, David, died at 21. David's newest book, Finding Meaning - the Sixth Stage of Grief, was inspired by his search to continue finding meaning in his own life and work.

Be sure to connect with David at www.grief.com

Ep. 131: Permission To Grieve - Shelby Forsythia Jan 10, 2020

Show notes

In 2013, Shelby Forsythia was barely into her twenties when her mom died of cancer. This loss propelled her into a search for information, understanding, and community. In that search, Shelby wrote Permission to Grieve, created a podcast, Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss, and started a grief coaching practice. We talk about grief as rebellion, stolen wallets, and queer identity and grief.

Shelby's website: www.shelbyforsythia.com

The Coming Back episode we did on supporting grieving children and teens: www.shelbyforsythia.com/podcast/jana-decristofaro

Encore Ep. 11: Who Am I Now? Dec 30, 2019

Show notes

It's a New Year's Eve encore episode and we're bringing back Ep. 11: Who Am I Now?

Brendon and Jana delve into the many layers of loss that we grapple with when someone dies and how that loss can change us. When we grieve, we miss the person and who they were in our lives. We miss who we were with them. Often we miss who we were in general before the death. As we think towards the future, we grieve for the events and occasions that we won't share with the person.

Over time, people in grief may start to see themselves differently. What they value, prioritize, and want in life can change radically.

These changes occur on many levels: