Grief Out Loud

Latest Episodes:

Ep. 148: Wrongful Death - A Grieving Mother's Story (Paula Becker) May 14, 2020

Show notes

Paula Becker is an author and mother of three. Her memoir, A House on Stilts, Mothering in the Age of Opiod Addiction, chronicles how she and her family navigated her oldest son, Hunter's, struggles with substance use. Paula and her husband Barry braced themselves, many times, for the reality that Hunter's addiction might end his life. Then, in 2017, while riding a bus from their hometown of Seattle to the Bay Area of California, Hunter was hit and killed by the driver of the bus, as he attempted to re-board after a rest stop. Paula and Barry filed a wrongful death suit which, after two years, led to a jury declaring the bus driver and company were responsible for Hunter's death. Paula talks about Hunter, the grief she faced throughout his struggle with substance use, how she and her husband learned to make space for one another's grief, and what it was like to be so public with that grief during the trial.

Ep. 147: Grief & Mother's Day - A Teen's Take May 05, 2020

Show notes

In Ep. 143 we talked with Paige about step-parenting grieving children and in this one, we talk with one of her children, 17-year-old Chloe. Chloe was 14 when her mother Danielle died of colon cancer. After Danielle died, Chloe and her younger sister moved in full-time with their dad and Paige. Chloe talks about honoring her mom on Mother's Day while also celebrating Paige, what it's like to help her younger sister carry on the legacy of their mom, and why sometimes talking about grief with the people we are closest to can be overwhelming.

Listen to Ep. 143 with Paige. For additional resources on navigating Mother's Day, visit The Dougy Center.

Want to join us on Friday, May 8th at 6 pm (PST) for Reflection, our annual Benefit? We're going virtual! Learn more here.

Ep. 146: Reflection - A Mini-Episode May 04, 2020

Show notes

This mini-episode shares two emails from listeners and how to participate in The Dougy Center's annual Reflection Benefit & Auction. This year, Reflection is going virtual which means everyone can participate from around the globe! Reflection funds nearly half of The Dougy Center's peer support group program and allows us to create resources like our Tip Sheets and this podcast.

The virtual livestream program is May 8, 2020 at 6:30 p.m. PDT and the event will culminate with the drawing of the winning Porsche Boxster Raffle ticket. Join us early! The pre-cast will begin at 6 p.m. and you can make sure everything is working smoothly before the program starts at 6:30 p.m.

Step 1: Before the event, you will need to register. Here's how.

Step 2: On May 8, you will need to join the event on two devices — one for the livestream and one for the online bidding platform. Watch the livestream program on The Dougy Center's public Facebook page. The online bidding platform can be found here.

Step 3: It's more fun with friends! Here's information on how to host a ZOOM party or Facebook Watch party.

Ep. 145: Speaking Grief - Lindsey Whissel Fenton Apr 30, 2020

Show notes

How would the world be different if grief was universally understood as a natural reaction to loss and not something that needs to be fixed or taken away? Lindsey Whissel Fenton is working to create that world through Speaking Grief, a public media initiative designed to raise grief awareness. The initiative is a multi-element project that includes a one-hour documentary, Speaking Grief, that debuts on public television on May 5th, 2020. Lindsey talks about the project's inspiration and how months spent interviewing grieving people from across the country now influences how she sees her own grief and how she shows up for those she cares about.

Speaking Grief website & trailer.

Want to watch the full documentary? Check your local public television station listing for air dates!

Ep. 144: A Grieving Father Turned To Words - Jayson Greene Apr 24, 2020

Show notes

In May of 2015, Jayson Greene's first child, Greta, had just turned two and was spending the day with her grandmother, Susan. While she and Susan were sitting on a bench in Manhattan, a piece of masonry fell from a building, hitting them both. Susan survived, but Greta did not. From the first days of grief, Jayson turned to writing, documenting all that was unfolding. These initial writings became his stunning memoir, Once More We Saw Stars. We talk about Greta, grief, and parenting Jayson's second child, Harrison.

Ep. 143: A Full-Time Other Mother - Step-Parenting Grieving Children Apr 17, 2020

Show notes

Being a step-parent is complicated under the best of circumstances, but what happens when your children's other parent dies? Paige Smith was just settling into her new family with her husband and his two children that he co-parented with his ex-wife, Danielle, when they got the news that Danielle had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. When Danielle died and the girls moved in Paige and her husband, Paige found herself entering the new role of full-time mother, but without the support and guidance of Danielle. We talk about how Paige and her husband, together with their girls, are working to honor Danielle's memory and navigate grief individually, and as a family.

Ep. 142: Suffocated Grief & Supporting Black Youth - Dr. Tashel Bordere Apr 10, 2020

Show notes

Dr. Tashel Bordere has spent years researching the grief experience of black youth affected by homicide and gun violence. While many grieving people can relate to their grief being disregarded, for black youth and youth with marginalized identities, their grief not only goes unacknowledged, but is often penalized. Their behaviors and reactions, which are normal responses to grief, are met not with support and understanding, but with negative labels and punishment. This results in a concept Dr. Bordere has identified as suffocated grief and is rooted in systems of oppression and discrimination. Dr. Bordere, PhD, CT is a Certified Thanatologist and Assistant Professor of Human Development & Family Science at the University of Missouri. She is also a Robert Wood Johnson Forward Promise Fellow and the author of numerous research papers and publications focused on black youth affected by homicide, gun violence, and race-based trauma.

To learn more about Dr. Bordere's work:

S.H.E.D. Grief Tools (MU Extension) Video Website

Handbook of Social Justice in Loss and Grief (Harris & Bordere, 2016)

Recent Publication: Bordere, T. (2019). Suffocated grief, resilience, and survival among African American families. In M. H. Jacobsen & A. Petersen's (Eds.), Exploring grief: Towards a sociology of sorrow. New York: Routledge.

Recent Presentation: Grief, Bereavement, and Death at a Distance: Perspectives on the impact to the community (COVID-19). Presented through the Association for Death Education and Counseling.

Ep. 141: You Can't Give From Empty - Grief Professionals & COVID-19 With Megan Devine Apr 02, 2020

Show notes

What happens when a crisis affects everyone, including those who support others? Who is left to show up and care for those who need it the most? Grief professionals are faced with finding answers to the question, "How do we care for ourselves so we can care for others?" Megan Devine, founder of Refuge in Grief, author of It's OK That You're Not OK, and creator of Writing Your Grief online classes and communities. We delve into these questions and explore how the pandemic is affecting Megan, the people she supports, and her colleagues in the grief world.

Ep. 140: Supporting Widowed Dads - Dr. Justin Yopp Mar 25, 2020

Show notes

In 2010 Dr. Justin Yopp and his colleague, Don Rosenstein, piloted a support group for widowed dads that grew into being part of the Widowed Parent Project. A decade later, Dr. Yopp and his team continue to learn from widowed parents about the unique challenges of grieving their partner, raising children as a solo parent, and forming a new trajectory for their lives and their families. Learn more about the Widowed Parent Project. Read The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life *all proceeds from the book go directly to the Widowed Parent Project.* Watch Dr. Yopp's TEDx Talk

Ep. 139: Grief & Coronavirus/COVID-19 - Leslie Barber Mar 20, 2020

Show notes

The COVID-19 global health crisis is an unprecedented time of uncertainty, change, and concern - three things that often accompany grief. For those who are already grieving, elements of this pandemic may feel familiar and bring us back to times when we had to readjust everything in our lives. Leslie Barber is a grieving widow, parent to a grieving child, and the founder of Grief Warrior, which creates gift boxes for grieving people. We talk all about grieving in this time of COVID-19 and how she and her daughter are navigating the disruptions to daily life while carrying their grief.

Leslie's company - Grief Warrior When Your World is Already Upside Down - Supporting Grieving Children & Teens During the COVID-19 Global Health Crisis - a Tip Sheet from The Dougy Center. https://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/tip-sheets/

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