Grace Enough Podcast

Latest Episodes:

35: Sharon Hodde Miller | Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and Why God Calls Us to More Sep 10, 2019

Show notes

Sharon and I chat about the difference between niceness and kindness, the dangers of making words like authenticity and courage trendy, how God cultivates the fruit of the Spirit in us, and how knowing the depth of God's Word is vital as a believer. Our conversation surrounds her newest book Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and Why God Calls Us to More.

5:58 Sharon shares how her faith journey with Jesus began

Sharon worked for Proverbs 31 ministrywhen she graduated from college. It was a small ministry at that time with about 5 people on staff.

“I went back to seminary, because I realized I really wanted to equip myself for ministry.”

8:50 Sharon expounds on the first line in her new book Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and Why God Calls Us to More, “God didn’t call us to be nice.”

The book came from a paragraph she wrote in her first book, Free of Me.

“I was a really good kid. I was a nice Christian girl. I was a rule follower. I was an achiever. I was a people pleaser. That was a big part of my identity. As I looked back, I think all along I felt like I was a good kid, because I loved God and I wanted to honor God. To some extent that was true, but I could also see that it was really rewarding to be a good kid. It earned me a lot of affirmation from all of the adults in my life. I could look back and see these mixed motives in my heart and how that was blurring my identity as a Christian.”

“The more I noticed this [nice Christian mentality] the more I thought this is a false virtue in our culture, but it is also a false idol in the church. We don’t see anywhere in the Bible that tells us to be nice. We are told to bear fruits of kindness and patience and gentleness and love, but nowhere are we told to be nice.”

“We will often excuse sin or dysfunction if a person is simply nice to us. “

“He doesn’t call us to be mean. He doesn’t call us to be aggressive. He doesn’t call us to be divisive, but He doesn’t call us to simply be pleasant.”

15:15 “Nice Christianity looks a lot like the real thing. Jesus says the way you can know it’s not the real thing is look at the fruit it is producing.”

“Some of the fruits [of niceness] are unexpected like self-righteousness. This doesn’t look like niceness on its face, but it is a fruit of it. That was 100% my story, because I was such a good girl, I would think, ‘’Being good is so easy. What’s wrong with these other people who aren’t nice like me?’ Instead of owning the fact that part of the reason I was good was I was a slave to people’s affirmation and approval.”

SHOW NOTES continued.

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Sharon Hodde Miller at SheWorships.com and IG

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34: Dr. Michelle Deering | Psychologist, Mother/Daughter Relationships Sep 03, 2019

Show notes

Dr. Deering and I chat about common mother/daughter relationships experiences that shape their communication, some tips for addressing a broken relationship and more from her book "What Mothers Never Tell Their Daughters."

4:26 Dr. Deering shares how her personal story plays into the work she does with mothers and daughters.

Her interaction with young moms in her neighborhood prompting her writing the book What Mothers Never Tell Their Daughters.

9:32 Dr. Deering observed young moms complaining about their moms yet repeating some of those same behaviors. She discusses how that pertains to her relationship with her 2 daughters.

"I have owned up to when I have done something incorrectly. I've apologized...I am quick to say I am sorry."

11:15 Dr. Deering shares a few common mother/daughter experiences that shape the way they see each other, which ultimately influences how they communicate with one another.

"How moms and daughters deal with their experiences of difference is key....For instance, the first time a mom will notice her daughter is doing something that's different than how she would think it ought to be done and how that mom reacts to that and in turn how the daughter responds to that or reacts to that. That then, starts a certain dance between the two of them, because ultimately what a daughter wants is to feel accepted and love."

15:49 Dr. Deering shares a few ways mothers and daughters can begin the reconciling process

"I think there is an element (this is not to say anything negative about the body of Christ), but I think sometimes there can be this expectation that reconciliation is the definite goal. Reconciliation actually takes two....It is the same way God deals with us. Jesus died on the cross. It's out there for everyone. It's available....The fix really takes two if you want the full reconciliation, but sometimes it is just one willing to come to terms with some things."

SHOW NOTES continued

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Dr. Deering and Curative Connections

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33: Steven Elliott | A War Story, PTSD Aug 27, 2019

Show notes

Steven and I chat about being a "good kid", becoming an Army Ranger, his role in the death of Pat Tillman, PTSD, and how the grace of God literally changed his heart.

4:15 Steven begins sharing his faith experience as a child and how he was a "good kid"

"The lens I would describe a lot of my faith journey, I suppose, is through the lens of the prodigal son....In retrospect, as I grew up, I am a good rule follower. I can't stand it if people aren't approving of me. I viscerally need that...."

Steven talks about pride and how the idea of do X and get Y was very appealing to him.

"Going into the military in 2003, I was very much the older son in that story [prodigal son]."

7:55 Steven shares about joining the army in the wake of 9/11 and becoming a Ranger

He describes how one becomes a Ranger in the Army.

11:32: Steven became a Ranger in the 2nd Ranger Battalion based at Ft. Lewis where he was assigned to his platoon. In his platoon were two brothers, Pat and Kevin Tillman.

April 2004: Platoon sent to Afghan/Pakistan border to conduct combat operations (raids and patrols)

12:47: Steven explains what a raid and/or patrol looks like for a Ranger Unit.

15:22-27:40 Steven shares the details of April 22, 2004

"Once the smoke cleared our platoon had sustained 2 casualties (2 dead and 2 wounded). One of those that were killed was an Afghan military soldier....the other who was killed that day was Pat Tillman."

28:00Steven shares how the narrative surrounding Pat Tillman death varied greatly between the American media and what actually happened on the ground

SHOW NOTES continued

Steven Elliott's book: WAR STORY

Elliott Fund

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This organization was founded by moms in north Raleigh, who have been inspired and motivated to join with highly resilient and talented refugees as they learn English, and develop marketable skills to support their families. These women come from countries with political turmoil, where they had to fight for the safety of their families. They’ve been given the opportunity to come to the United States and the challenges still exist, though they’ve changed face. Their children are generally thriving in school, though they lack the language skills to understand what’s being said in parent teacher conferences….or to know how to get their children proper medical care in the maze of a medical system.

Multiple barriers exist that prevent these women from traditional employment opportunities, as most of them do not have cars to get them to work, the finances to pay for childcare, or the language skills to communicate and advocate for themselves. Hope Threads was born out of relationships formed over years of serving these women by teaching them English or caring for their children as they learn. They are graciously hosted by North Ridge Bible Chapel and have virtually no overhead costs, as volunteers teach sewing skills and care for children in a gospel centered children’s program.

You can find them online at hope-Threads.com or on Instagram at hope.threads.

Your purchase empowers a resilient woman as she acculturates, learns new skills, and supports her family.

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EP. 31: Lara & Hayley | Layers of Dignity Jul 30, 2019

Show notes

Lara and Hayley, the founders of Layers of Dignity, and I chat about how they began donating totes full of clothing and other items to emergency rooms and advocacy centers to be given to sexual assault survivors immediately after evidence collection. We chat about Layers mission to provide hope and connection for survivors, so they know they are not alone.

4:46 Hayley shares about Layers of Dignity(what it is, what they do, etc.)

Tote bag includes:

Brand new outfit
Toiletries
Resources
Love note from another survivor

7:14 Lara shares about how the anger they experienced following Hayley's assault turned to righteous anger, which led to Layers of Dignity

"This anger, it's there, it's purposeful, it makes sense, it is allowed to be there. It [sexual assault] is a thing that is wrong. It is something God weeps over. The anger can happen, but if you just stay there it can get dangerous real quick. Moving it into a righteous anger almost definitely means there is going to be some kind of positive action. We came up with the idea to give clothes to the hospital..."

Vintage Church has been a huge support.

10:05 Hayley shares about their first delivery and how Layers has spread to other hospitals and advocacy centers

InterAct of Wake County

12:02 1 in 6 women will experience a sexual assault or attempted assault in their lifetime. 98% of women will experience symptoms of PTSD during the two weeks after an assault and 1 in 10 sexual assault survivors are male.

Hayley discusses how Layers of Dignityis helping to decrease that 98% experiencing PTSD

"One of our main missions and goals is to be a catalyst for hope and redemption as early as possible and part of that is creating a community. Going through that [assault] is/has been the darkest time in my life and even though I had the best support system....Even though you are totally surrounded, you still feel the loneliest you've ever felt, so I think if you can create a place where you feel known there can be less of that loneliness, which hopefully will lead to less depression, anxiety, and hopefully bring that trauma to a place where it can be dealt with early on."

13:23 They share about the notes included in each tote from a sexual assault survivor

SHOW NOTES continued

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You can find them online at hope-Threads.com or on Instagram at hope.threads.

Your purchase empowers a resilient woman as she acculturates, learns new skills, and supports her family.

Please visit Hope Threads to view their catalog.

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EP. 30: Sarah Harmeyer | People Gatherer, Neighbor's Table Jul 23, 2019

Show notes

Sarah and I chat about identifying that passion God has placed deep within you and living it out. For Sarah, it is gathering people around a table to connect over food and helping others to do the same by crafting hand made tables through Neighbor's Table.

2:41 Sarah shares how a pastor friend helped her shift her identify from work back into Christ.

"I learned to not strive so much, but rest in who God made me to be... Come to find out God made me to be a people gatherer."

"I thought back to the very best moments of my life and they were always around the table."

"I think God made me to gather people at the table."

Sarah set a goal to serve 500 people around the table in her backyard and on Thanksgiving the 500th guest walked down the driveway.

7:00 "The best part of what we now call Neighbor's Tableis my friend called about a year and half in and said, 'Sarah, I see God getting a lot of glory around your table and I wonder if He has something outside your own yard?'....I started thinking there's other people wired just like me. There's other people gatherer's in the world. What if I could find those people? And what if I could cheer them on?....Neighbor's Table is my full time job now."

Neighbor's Tablebuilds hand-crafted tables and deliver them across the country and cheer people on to love their neighbor's.

"People might say we're in the table business, but I really like to think we're in the people business."

9:25 Sarah shares the who, what, when, where and how she hosted the first gathering in her backyard

Next-door social app

Who: 300 closest neighbors (91 people attended)

What: A potluck So-Hip Soiree

Where: Sarah's backyard

"I learned that night that people just want to be invited. There's something special about being invited to the table."

"My rule at my house is there's no private party, so if any neighbor sees there's an open seat they can join me. I pass plates of food over the fence. People stop and say hello."

14:45 Sarah shares her faith journey with us and how she discovered God created her to be a people gatherer

"I think people gathering probably looks a little like evangelism with a dinner napkin wrapped around it...I just love people....Now we say Neighbor's Tableis a love mission. I want to be very missional about the way we love people and not in a project kind of way, but in a real, genuine, as a believer, I have the light of Christ inside of me [kind of way]."

SHOW NOTES continued

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SPONSOR: Dwell Differently

Dwell is a monthly scripture memory service that helps you get God’s words off the page and into your mind and heart.

How is dwell different? Dwell helps people connect with God through taking the first letter of each word in a verse & stringing them together in a unique, beautiful design. Each month, you receive temporary tattoos, key chain tags, & a print of that month’s verse design.Every time you see the image, you’re challenged to recall what each letter represents, & eventually you memorize the verse.

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EP. 29: Jan Johnson | Spiritual Direction, Hearing God's Voice Jul 16, 2019

Show notes

Jan and I chat about enjoying Jesus, quieting the mind, ridding your life of life-draining behaviors, and God’s invitation.

4:12 Jan shares how she came to know Jesus as Lord and Savior

“I always had a sense that Jesus was everywhere.”

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

Enjoying the Presence of God

During the time of writing Enjoying the Presence of God is when Jan began to ask what it was like to meditate on Scripture, to hang out with God. God’s Word became less of a checklist and more of a relationship.
God became the companion of her soul during this time.

6:55 Jan discusses spiritual formation, partnering with God in caring for the voiceless, and living with purposeful intentionality.

“Spiritual formation is really discipleship, but it’s not just doing practices. It’s about letting the Spirit transform you into Christlikeness.”

Spiritual practices = different ways of connecting with God

8:35 “The focus of attention in spiritual formation isn’t on me and how I am doing….It’s always about oneness with God, union with God.”

“What would it look like to love God for the next 10 minutes?”

10:50 Jan talks about having a voice for the voiceless

“That is what Jesus did. The people nobody wanted to hang out with, there He was.”

13:36 “What breaks your heart that breaks the heart of God?….Different things break people’s hearts differently, which is great, because then we are all the hands and feet of Jesus in so many different ways.”

“Ask God for a next step?”

SHOW NOTES continued

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EP. 28: Jodie Berndt | Praying the Scripture for Your Children Jul 09, 2019

Show notes

Jodie and I chat about praying for your children throughout their lives, how God delights in hearing from His children, and how praying the Scripture brings peace and aligns our heart with God's heart.

6:07 Jodieshares her faith journey, mothering in the early years, and how her first book, Praying the Scripture for Your Children came to be

Ephesians 4: 29

"I turned Eph. 4:29 in to a prayer for me and my family."

Moms In Prayer

She did a paper survey asking one question, "If you could ask God to do one thing for your children, for your family, what would it be?"

She used the top 20 answers to create a table of contents of what might become a book. Then, she dug into God's Word to see what it said about each topic.

All 3 books are cataloged by topics.

11:16 Jodie shares what she has experienced in her own personal prayer life as she has prayed the Scriptures for her children

"There is a lot of richness and depth and variety as we lift our prayers out of Scripture, but not only that, I think they become a lot more powerful. God says in Isaiah 55 that His word will not return empty, but will accomplish the purposes for which it's sent. I have really seen that His Word goes forth and it accomplishes things."

"It's this beautiful hand in hand partnership where God invites us to partner with Him in accomplishing these purposes through prayer."

"As I slip my hand into God's and bring my children before Him, for me I get a peace that I don't think I would get any other way, because even if I not yet seen the result (even if I am still in the thick of whatever the issue is) I know God is at work. I have released it to Him. I know He is for us and it keeps anxiety at bay and opens the door to that peace, that contentment and that confidence in the midst of the storm."

"Share your heart with Him even in the midst of the mayhem."

Praying the Scripture for Your Teens

Praying the Scripture for Your Adult Children

15:35 Jodie shares how praying changed as her children got older.

Proverbs 27:17

"Their needs may change and their friendships may change, but at the end of the day we want them to have godly friends."

Parent's of adult children don't have the same community as parents of young children, so that is challenging. They can feel alone, so that is why I wrote praying the scripture for your adult children.

Free Study guide for Praying the Scripture for Your Adult Children at jodieberndt.com

SHOW NOTES continued

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EP. 27: Robin Fuller | Hope and Healing After Abortion Jul 02, 2019

Show notes

Robin and I chat her own abortion, hope and healing after abortion, purity, forgiveness, and ministry leadership.

4:04 Robin shares her faith journey with us, the abortion she had in college, and how she tried to maintain the "perfect" mask.

"At 3 years old there were some people who paired me off with this little boy named Glenn and they thought it was really cute. And something really got inside of me at that time where I felt I needed a guy to complete me. I had a boyfriend from Kindergarten all the way through and if I didn't have one I was looking."

Prior to the start of her junior year of college at Oral Roberts University, Robin had a positive pregnancy test.

After telling her mother, she went and told the chaplain of Oral Roberts and she was asked to leave. She had broken the moral code she had signed.

7:00 "I got on a Greyhound bus and I traveled across the country, all by myself from Oklahoma to California, into the arms of my boyfriend. Somehow within a week I found myself in an abortion clinic in Fresno, California having an abortion. I remember laying on that table praying my boyfriend would come and save me and he didn't. I remember waking up and I remember getting in the car and he looked at me and said, 'I wish we hadn't done that.' "

9:17 Robin shares a little of what life was like following the abortion

10:45 Robin begins sharing about becoming the director of a pregnancy center at the age of 25.

"I knew I needed healing from my own abortion experience when I attended training on the very first day and they actually showed a video of an abortion being done...and I drove away and I knew I wasn't okay. Thankfully, these sweet women took me under their wing and taught me about Post-abortion Syndrome and they helped me get the healing I needed."

13:13 Robin shares more about Post-abortion Syndrome

14:42 Robin shares a God moment with us regarding a vision of her aborted son

Daniel James was the name God gave Robin during that vision for the curly haired boy she saw coming toward her.

"This little boy, about 6 years old, looked at me and ....said, 'I love you mommy.' He said, 'I forgive you and I can't wait to see you someday.' "

"They say 70% of women who have abortions attend a protestant or a Catholic church."

19:13 Robin shares about her own crisis pregnancy while she was director of a pregnancy center

"Here I was living this expected "godly" lifestyle, but I was still holding part of myself back from the Lord. I wasn't fully living for Him, but when I got pregnant this time I committed to the Lord to be all in."

"I walked into the board meeting and told them of my situation, that I was pregnant and it wasn't my husbands child (I was still married. He was not complying with the divorce at that point). I told the board and their response blew me away. They said, 'If you're not a crisis pregnancy, we don't know who is and there's no way we could turn our back on you.' They allowed me to stay in the position....That board extended grace to me."

SHOW NOTES continued

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EP. 26: Jillian Penhale | Created Women, Director Jun 25, 2019

Show notes

Jillian and I chat about the work she does with the non-profit Created to come alongside women in the sex industry.

4:06 Jillian shares what Created does on a day to day basis to build relationships with women coming out of the sex industry

Created’s goal is to provide a place of belonging and refuge to every woman they meet that is coming from the sex industry.

5 of the 9 staff at Created Women are survivor leaders.

7:37 Jillian shares some statistics about the sex industry, particularly in Tampa, Florida where they are located

Tampa is 3rd in the U.S. for the number of men, women, and children who are brought into the country for sex trafficking
Tampa has more strip clubs per capita than any other city in the U.S.
Tampa is 3rd in the U.S. for illicit massage parlors

10:49 “Think about, what are the things that happened in their lives that led them here, because no child is ever like that is what I want to do when I grow up. That’s how I want to make my way through college is to dance and strip…It is not a normal thing. It has to come from some brokenness that is happening, whether to them or around them.”

11:50 Jillian walks us through her time as a street outreach volunteer, residential program coordinator, and now executive director at Created.

17:58 “So many times we go into ministry like, ‘Oh, this is going to be so great’….but real ministry is hard. People are broken and they don’t want your help and they don’t want your good words or whatever you think you can give. At the end of the day, that is the biggest thing I have had to learn, all I can offer is Jesus and the kindness and peace that He brings.”

20:20 Jillian shares obstacles and success stories

27:07 “We have 5 members of our staff team are graduates of our program. To watch them every day reinvest their lives into the women we’re serving and use their stories to cultivate change that nobody else could is amazing.”

“It’s all the small moments that really matter. The graduating from drug treatment, starting trauma therapy; it is all the small steps, because even when a relapse happens or something happens and a woman decides to leave our program we can always go back and think, ‘She made it this many months clean this time and she made through these classes and life skills that she never had before.’ The likelihood of her coming back from that relapse is so much higher than it was before.”

SHOW NOTES continued.

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SPONSOR: Spiritfilled Woman Magazine.

In an age of confusion, with opinions, myths, stereotypes, and expectations coming at us from all directions, Spirit-Filled Woman magazine exists to equip women to sort through the lies and instead walk by the Spirit in grace and truth. Each issue of this bi-monthly print magazine is designed in such a way so as to include content which will pertain to women of all ages, stages, and backgrounds, showing them just how relevant and applicable God’s Word is to each and every area of their lives as women. It is our hope at Spirit-Filled Woman that you will come away encouraged and built up to walk by the Spirit in your own everyday life.

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EP 25: Kate Pope | The Giving Crusade, Author Jun 18, 2019

Show notes

Kate and I chat about her children's book, The Giving Crusade, which is a little book with a big mission, to teach kids that giving a little can do a lot.

3:54 Kate shares the inspiration behind The Giving Crusade

“It’s my job as an aunt, to take the good work parents have done and make it even better.”

Aquanotes

Kate shares 3 things she would want to leave as a legacy for her nieces and nephew.

Her creativity
Her philanthropy and good works
Her kindness

10:06 "It wasn't my goal. I never dreamed of being a children's author. I dreamed of being a writer. I always say I am a storyteller with photography."

11:50 Kate shares 3 stories of giving that have resulted from The Giving Crusade

Smilestones by Molly
K.I.D.S. = Kids Inspired and Determined to Serve
St. Pius Catholic School

16:35 "Their principle used the terminology 'quietly generous' and there is no better way to put that. Truly, there is such beauty in being quietly generous. Where you are not looking for any sort of return, there is no expectation on the gifts that you are giving. It is purely done, because you care and you won't to make the world a better place."

"The book focuses on a $5 gift as the launching point for conversation, but .... [the gift] doesn't have to be money. You have your gifts in terms of talent and time and love and being a good steward in your community. All of that is just as important as any money you can give."

18:50 Kate shares about Crusader Cash

Purchase The Giving Crusadeat:

NoFo at the Pig
Bailey's Fine Jewelry
Little Details
South
thegivingcrusade.com

"This book empowers the children to make the decision. Most of the time, parents are leading the giving experience, the volunteer experience...this book really puts that control in the child's hands."

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