Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Latest Episodes:

117: From Purity Culture to Developing One's Eroticism with Brandi K. Harris Jan 13, 2023

Show notes

The older I get and more experience I gain, the more I've come to appreciate my eroticism as a part of me. I haven't always been this way though. In all of its good intentions, sometimes people internalize the heart of the purity message by being void of sexual feelings or urges, as if it's a virtue to not have any sexual thoughts or feelings.

The reality is that just as we are spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical beings, we're also sexual beings. We can grow sexually as we grow spiritually.

And my sexpert guest on the podcast today describes exactly that process of growing erotically (or sexually) as we grow spiritually. Her name is Brandi Harris. She's a licensed marriage therapist that is also a Christian and helps individuals and couples grow sexually. She's also a mother of three and has created a program for parents on how to talk to their kids about sex too. And as a bonus for our listeners and followers, she's offering 10% off with the code GETYOUR23.

For more great content like this, check out the following resources:

March Couples Retreat Tickets: https://getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat/

Next Level! waiting list: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-level/

Men's coaching program waiting list: https://getyourmarriageon.com/mens-coaching/

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

116: Why "Nice Guys" Have Bad Sex Lives: A Sextimony Jan 06, 2023

Show notes

Are you a "nice guy" or married to a "nice guy?" "Nice" isn't to be confused with genuinely kind and caring. By nice, I mean one that hints around at what he wants from his wife, but doesn't really ask for it in case she doesn't want to either, or that it might upset her or that he might be disappointed later.

So a "nice guy" is just never really direct about what he wants, doesn't really own it, and his emotional center seems to be revolve around his wife rather than taking ownership for his own feelings. This is also the type of person that goes the extra mile for his wife, but has ulterior motives in it, and when he doesn't get what he wants or when it doesn't kind of pan out the way he wants, even though he never clearly expressed what he wanted from the beginning, he feels cheated.

My guest today is Brian Wagstaff. Brian is a member of my next level coaching program and a graduate of my men's coaching program. Brian is a successful entrepreneur and has a wonderful family and a recovering "nice guy." Today he shares his journey of recognizing his nice guy tendencies, the struggles he faced in his marriage, what changes he had to make, and how he made them, and how his marriage and intimacy is tremendously better today than it was before.

Other Resources:

Men's coaching waiting list

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

115: How to Take Your Intimacy to the Next Level in 2023 Dec 30, 2022

Show notes

Are you ready to take action, to take charge of your relationships, and make this year different and better than any other year you've ever had? I'm going to show you how coaching can get you out of your ruts and habits and find more clarity and growth in your life and marriage. And I'll show you how our exciting new program can help take your marriage to the next level!

Next Level

Attend the webinar on January 4 for more information

Coming up in 2023:

Feb 1-14: Sextimacy challenge - Increase your intimacy and win cool prizes. Watch your email and social media for more info.

March 23-26: Intimately Us Couples retreat in St. George - Romantic yet intensive 3-day, 3-night event designed for couples to draw closer together intimately, have fun adventures, win door prizes and receive top-notch coaching.

June 9 (6-9): Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Watch your emails as the date gets closer for more info.

114: The Practice of Love with Lair Torrent Dec 20, 2022

Show notes

There are four fundamental questions we seek in our intimate relationships:

Am I safe?

Am I loved?

Am I enough?

And do I matter?

How we go about answering these questions is the basis for how we learn to love and be loved in our marriages.

Loving another person well is a practice. It's something you keep at trying over and over, and learning to get better at it. The more conscious we are\ about the way we're loving and seeking love, and implementing good practices, the better we can become at healing and thriving in our relationships.

Today's guest is Lair Torrent, a licensed therapist that specializes in couples work. He's the author of a fantastic book called The Practice of Love: Break Old Patterns, Rebuild Trust, and Create a Connection That Lasts that I've read and recommend.

Other Resources:

Next Level! waiting list

Men's coaching waiting list

Intimately Us Couples Retreat

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

113: How Men Can Have Multiple Orgasms with Dan Purcell Dec 16, 2022

Show notes

With practice patience, determination, and mindfulness men can prolong the pleasure they feel by resisting ejaculation and prolonging their pleasure and orgasm period. So today I wanted to show you that orgasm and ejaculation are actually two separate physiological processes in the body. And how it's the ejaculation that is responsible for the start of their refractory period. And I want to offer you some tips on how to enjoy multiple orgasms without ejaculating.

Here are the links to the events and programs mentioned in the episode:

6 Weeks to Multiple Male Orgasms course

Next Level waiting list

Intimately Us Couples Retreat

Other Resources:

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

112: Masturbation and Sexual Agency with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Dec 09, 2022

Show notes

There's a lot of anxiety in our culture around sexuality in general. And within the topic of understanding one's sexuality, there's even more cultural anxiety around masturbation.

I've personally had lots of questions around masturbation, and I'm glad to report that I'm not alone – I get many DMs on our Instagram and emails asking sincere questions about this sexual behavior.

I asked Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, one of my favorite marriage and sex experts, to share her insights on the topic. I learned so much from her! Instead of, "Is this particular sexual behavior ok?" there's a better question to ask instead – which you'll get to hear in this episode.

I also learned the value of self-definition for expanding one's sexual agency, in other words, gaining your own testimony so-to-speak and committing to living your life with honesty and integrity to your highest and best values.

For more great content like this, check out the following resources:

Next Level waiting list: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-level/

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

March Couples Retreat Tickets: Intimately Us Couples Retreat

111: Tantric Sex: A Wholehearted Connection with Tammy Hill Dec 02, 2022

Show notes

There's no doubt in my mind that there's a deeply spiritual and emotional aspect to really good sex. When two lovers come together as good friends that want to give and receive pleasure and connect to know each other at a very deep and intimate level, sex takes on deep meaning.

Many in American or western culture put a big focus on orgasm and finishing, for good reason: orgasm feels good. Really, really good. However, once in a while, we're too busy driving to our destination that we fail to see the beauty along the way. Slowing things down, way down, on purpose can bring you a new view of sex and deep intimate connection you may have not noticed before.

Today's guest is Tammy Hill. She's a licensed family and marriage therapist as well as a professor at Brigham Young University in the family sciences department. She and her husband, Jeff, have 12 children and I lost count of how many grandchildren. She's studied and taught a slower, more thoughtful approach to sex which is full of awareness and soulful connection, called Tantric sex or Slow Sex, for more than a decade.

For more great content like this, check out the following resources:

Next Level waiting list: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-level/

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

March Couples Retreat Tickets: Intimately Us Couples Retreat

110: Why Men Aren't Always in The Mood with Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Like many other men, I've probably said to my wife maybe once or twice, "I'm always in the mood for sex!" or "Whenever you want it, I'm ready!" Just kidding, I've probably said something like that hundreds of times.

But I know there are exceptions to "always" being in the mood. In fact, when I'm really honest, there are many times I'm not in the mood. And my wife is even more puzzled when she's in the mood and I'm not.

We're socialized to think that men should have the higher sexual desire in long term marriages, but "the stereotypical masculine approach to sexual desire is working against heterosexual couples' intimate relationships, and it's getting in the way of good sex."

Today's guest is Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray, a sex researcher and therapist who has studied male sexual desire. I've read her book, "Not Always In The Mood," and I look forward to sharing this interview with you.

For more great content like this, check out the following resources:

Next Level waiting list: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-level/

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

March Couples Retreat Tickets: Intimately Us Couples Retreat

109: Healing from painful sex with help and faith: A sextimony Nov 18, 2022

Show notes

We've done several episodes about painful sex in the past, but none of them have been as personal as this one today. You get to meet my friends Bryce and Shannon, who tell their story of how painful sex has really interfered with their relationship early on in their marriage. And I love the story because it's a story of faith.

I also really appreciate Shannon and Bryce being really vulnerable and open and sharing specifically the things that help them and also didn't help them along their journey. I love these interviews where we're not interviewing experts per se, but these are just ordinary couples that are really doing extraordinary things in their relationship, and I'm so grateful that they're willing to share their story with you.

For more great content like this, check out the following resources:

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

108: Our Story of Healing from Sexual Shame: A Sextimony Nov 11, 2022

Show notes

This episode is for any couple that has struggled with feelings of shame about bodies or sexuality, and has experienced conflict in their marriage around sexual differences.

I am so very grateful that Jan Marie and Andrew were willing to come on the podcast to share their story. They were nervous and are private people, so it's a big deal for them to be open and vulnerable, in hopes that it inspires and blesses a listener's marriage.

I met Jan Marie and Andrew at the marriage retreat we did last October. In fact, they celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary at the event! They've been through a lot of turmoil around sex and intimacy in their marriage together, which you'll get to hear. You'll also get to hear the tipping point when they've found healing and hope in their marriage.

I also want to make a plug for marriage retreats. There's something special that happens when both of you attend a retreat to refresh and recharge. It's a time to get on the same page and really connect in new ways. You get to meet other couples too and learn from great marriage coaches.

Our next marriage retreat is coming up on March 23-26, and you'll want to get on the waiting list to be the first to hear about the details. You can join the waiting list here.

For more great content like this, check out the following resources:

Website: getyourmarriageon.com

Instagram: @getyourmarriageon

Fun and sexy app for married couples: Intimately Us

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