Garden Plots with Skeletor

Hiatus Announcement Aug 01, 2023

Sadly, due to unavoidable real-life difficulties, we're going to have to take a break in order to make sure that season three wraps up in the way it deserves. Thank you for your understanding and we'll see you in 2024!

S3E08 - A Rutabaga is a Wish Your Heart Makes Jul 01, 2023

not really sure if this counts as a gpws episode tbh, but this is how the big man wants to manage his feed, so whatevs. i think perfuma may have gone mad with power or something.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S3E07 - Skeletors Say the Darndest Things Jun 01, 2023

FEAR THE GREAT AND UNKNOWABLE EPISODE SEVEN! BUT WITHIN FEAR LIES KNOWLEDGE--KNOWLEDGE OF LAVENDER! AFTER DRINKING DEEP OF THE WISDOM HEREIN, YOU WILL BE LEFT WITH ALL THE ACTIONABLE INFORMATION YOU COULD DREAM OF REGARDING LAVENDER: WHAT TYPE OF SOIL TO USE, HOW MUCH WATER TO GIVE IT, AND WHETHER IT IS SAFE FOR PETS AND IDIOTIC MINIONS! AND... THAT'S IT, ACTUALLY! YES, DESPITE THE PRESENCE OF A THREE-AND-A-HALF-YEAR-OLD IN THIS RECORDING, THINGS WENT QUITE SMOOTHLY! PERHAPS OVERLY SMOOTHLY! BUT NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT SKELETOR DOES NOT TAKE THE UNEXPECTED AND TURN IT INTO VICTORY! NOT TODAY, MY OWN PETARD! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S3E06 - Nana May 01, 2023

NOTHING ESCAPES THE COLD AND MERCILESS GAZE OF EPISODE SIX OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR! MY OWN GAZE IS SIMILARLY COLD, MERCILESS, AND INESCAPABLE--AND IT HAS NOT ESCAPED MY ATTENTION THAT SOME OF YOU HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING OF LATE OF A "LACK" OF "PLANT CONTENT" ON THIS "PLANT PODCAST" IN FAVOR OF AN "OVERABUNDANCE" OF "CHARACTER-CENTRIC SCHTICK!" WELL, THAT CHANGES NOW! OR, PERHAPS MORE ACCURATELY, SOON! WHILE WE DON'T GET AS INTO THE TOPICS OF TRIOSTAR STROMANTHES AND CHICKWEED AS ONE MIGHT DESIRE, AND WHILE THERE IS, PERHAPS, MORE THAN A LITTLE SCHTICK INVOLVING ONE OR MORE CHARACTERS, YOU WILL SOON SEE THAT THE SEEDS HAVE BEEN SOWN FOR A RETURN TO THE GLORY DAYS OF PLANT-BASED CONTENT! HA! SEEDS! SEE?! ALREADY MY PLANS BEGIN TO BEAR FRUIT! ALSO A PLANT REFERENCE! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Hordak: Neal Butler Nana: Britney Stout Horde Prime: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina

S3E05 - Garden Plots Points with Mer-Man Apr 01, 2023

Greetings to you, Pointer Pals, whether you be aquatic, land-based, or amphibious like yours truly, and welcome to the latest installment of the internet's greatest Garden Plots with Skeletor recap podcast, Garden Plot Points with Mer-Man! In this exciting episode, we sit down with none other than Duncan (FKA Man-At-Arms) for a chat about everyone's favorite show, Garden Plots with Skeletor! We chat about the goings-on at the Royal Palace of Eternia, the status of Prince Adam's alignment, and what family-oriented cable channel is best to put on to avoid scaring whatever Ram Man or Beast Man you may have in your life. Plus, we dig into the juicy gossip about his relationship with Skeletor! Are the rumors like a shipwreck, full of glittering treasure just waiting to be discovered? Or are they more like hydrothermal vents: just a lot of hot air? You won't want to miss this one, Mer-Mateys!

Cast: Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-At-Arms: Jarod K Anderson Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Riley: Kit Mulkerin

S3E04 - Evil Dad Mar 01, 2023

EPISODE FOUR IS THE ONE WHO KNOCKS! AND NO, THAT REFERENCE ISN'T OUTDATED, YOU'RE OUTDATED! THANKFULLY FOR YOU, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T RECEIVE THE INTELLECTUAL BOUNTY THAT IS THIS EPISODE'S SEGMENT ON CATNIP! SADLY, THAT IS THE ENTIRETY OF THIS EPISODE'S PLANT CONTENT--ASIDE FROM A BRIEF "LEAF IT TO ME" THAT ENDS SOMEWHAT UNEXPECTEDLY--BECAUSE, AS IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY FREQUENT, I ONCE MORE FIND MYSELF ON THE RECEIVING END OF YET ANOTHER BOUT OF ANTICS FROM A PARTICULAR HOUSEGUEST AND HIS PARTICULAR PARENTAL FIGURE/BOSS! HOW DOES THIS ALL PLAY OUT? WHO CARES! THE IMPORTANT PART IS, AFTER THIS EPISODE, I AM COMPLETELY CONFIDENT THAT NONE WILL DARE TO INTERRUPT ANOTHER EPISODE OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR AGAIN! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Hordak: Neal Butler Horde Prime: Marissa Bond

S3E03 - Stalemate Feb 01, 2023

LOOK UPON EPISODE THREE OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR! YES, DESPITE THE ADDED... COMPLICATIONS... OF MY CURRENT SITUATION, I STILL FIND TIME TO TRAIN YOU IN CULTIVATING THAT MOST SEEMINGLY-DIFFICULT OF FLOWERS, THE ORCHID! WE GO SO FAR AS TO DISCUSS THE POSSIBLE EDIBILITY OF THIS FLOWER VIS-A-VIS BEAST MAN! AND WITNESS WHAT OCCURS WHEN A CERTAIN HOUSEGUEST MAKES THE MISTAKE OF CROSSING ME *AND* MY ORCHIDS! LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL--A SKELETOR WHO IS *TECHNICALLY* GOOD CAN STILL OUT-EVIL ANYONE, REGARDLESS OF WHAT WORLD THEY COME FROM! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Hordak: Neal Butler Calculaytor: Adal Rifai

S3E02 - ANNOUNCING THE SNAKE MOUNTAIN PODCAST NETWORK (and also some plant stuff too i guess) Jan 01, 2023

IT IS TIME TO EMBRACE THE INEVITABILITY THAT IS EPISODE TWO OF SEASON THREE OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR! YES, DESPITE THE CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS FROM CERTAIN FLUFFY EMBODIMENTS OF COSMIC MIGHT AND WITLESS PONYTAILED HOUSEGUESTS, THIS MONTH'S EPISODE CONTINUES THE RELENTLESS MARCH OF KNOWLEDGE FOR WHICH ALL OF YOU FIND YOURSELVES IN CONSTANT STATES OF OVERWHELMING GRATITUDE! OR SO I ASSUME! THIS EPISODE'S KNOWLEDGE INCLUDES A DETAILED DISCUSSION ON GROWING AND STORING BEETS! WE DISCUSS BAY LAUREL VIS-À-VIS ITS POTENTIAL LETHALITY FOR FUR-BRAINED HALFWITS! AND IF #PLANTPATRIARCH ISN'T TRENDING BY THE END OF THE MONTH, MY WRATH WILL BE TERRIBLE INDEED! NYAHAHAHAHA!

S3E01 - How Much Is That Poggy in the Window Dec 01, 2022

YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE MY GARDENING WISDOM, ONLY TO FIND THE FIRST EPISODE OF SEASON THREE WAITING FOR YOU! OF COURSE, THINGS HAVE... CHANGED... SLIGHTLY, BUT ONE THING THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE IS MY DEDICATION TO IMPROVING YOU AND YOUR GARDENING KNOW-HOW! TO THAT END, WE'LL BE REVISITING SOME OLDER TOPICS IN GREATER DEPTH! WE ADDRESS A LISTENER QUESTION ABOUT WATERING PROPERLY! OUR GLOWING, FLUFFY COMPANION FINALLY ACQUIRES A SUITABLE MONIKER! AND RILEY'S NEW SOUND BOARD HAS ARGUABLY DRIVEN HER SLIGHTLY MAD WITH POWER! WHICH IS FINE, BECAUSE NOW THAT WE'RE FULLY BACK, "POWER" WON'T BE IN SHORT SUPPLY! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin

S3E00 - Answering Machine Nov 01, 2022

turns out, some folks out there have Opinions and Want To Share Them.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Hordak: Neal ButlerCobra Commander: James D'AmatoMegatron: Miles SchneidermanEvil Seed: Nathaniel HubbardGargamel: Nathaniel HubbardMumm-Ra: Dan MulkerinDr. Claw: Rafael MedinaMan-At-Arms: Jarod K Anderson

Season 3 Trailer? Oct 01, 2022

Prepare yourselves for season 3 of Garden Plots with Skeletor with this very accurate trailer filled with 100% genuine clips that will absolutely be in said season. Tremble at its veracity!

Cast: Narrator: Nathaniel Hubbard Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina He-Man: Kris Newton Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Whiplash: Liz Logan Riley: Kit Mulkerin Man-at-Arms: Jarod Anderson

Music Used: The Descent by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4490-the-descent License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Neo Western by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4114-neo-western License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Oppressive Gloom by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4174-oppressive-gloom License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Clear Waters by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3516-clear-waters License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Our Story Begins by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4181-our-story-begins License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scheming Weasel (faster version) by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4326-scheming-weasel-faster-version License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Darkest Child by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3615-darkest-child License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Crisis by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3561-crisis License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Bedtime for Beast Man Sep 01, 2022

need to put something on to help your kids fall asleep? definitely don't use this one.

Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Whiplash: Liz Logan Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin

"Mana Two - Part 1" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Rules for Houseguests Aug 01, 2022

POSTED HERE FOR POSTERITY, AND SO THAT YOU MAY ALL LISTEN IN AWE TO THE NEWEST OF MY INNUMERABLE TALENTS!

Cast:

Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin

Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

Boring Family Stuff Jul 01, 2022

i don't know where i got the idea that the chaos around here would somehow decrease or something.

Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin

Dateline Eternia Jun 01, 2022

gotta keep up on the news of the day, amirite?

Cast: Newscast-or: Nathaniel Hubbard

Egmont Overture by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3702-egmont-overture License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Pet Sounds May 01, 2022

guess what happens when you bring animals into the recording booth?

Cast: Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Aqua-Kitty: Kit Mulkerin

Stardate Beast Man Apr 01, 2022

maybe the minions have too much free time. gives me a chance to test out my dope new sound board tho.

Cast: Beast Man: Rafael Medina Perfuma: Meganbob Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin

Ambient sound effects from tabletopaudio.com

A Message from Hordak Mar 01, 2022

straight from the snake mountain answering machine.

Cast: Hordak: Chris Sims

Be Back Soon Feb 08, 2022

see y'all this summer!

S2E22 - A Kitten for Mer-Man Feb 01, 2022

this is a huge one, blah blah blah, nothing will ever be the same again, etc, you know the drill. more importantly, hit me up if you have good ideas for cat names, because so far the only possibilities we have are, like, ocean or fish puns, and i'm not coming to work if i have to see a cat named "sea purrtle." i just don't have it in me.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

Garden Plots with Skeletor season 3 coming in June 2022!

S2E21 - THE EVILEST EPISODE! Jan 15, 2022

IF YOU CAME SEEKING COMFORT AND REASSURANCE FROM EPISODE 21, YOU WOULD BEST BE SERVED LOOKING ELSEWHERE! BUT IF YOU SEEK RELENTLESS, UNAPOLOGETIC, AND ABOVE ALL, *EVIL* KNOWLEDGE, THEN OPEN YOUR EARS AND PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR WORLD SHAKEN! BECAUSE YES, OF COURSE YOU RECEIVE ONLY THE EVILEST OF KNOWLEDGE FROM MY SHOW, WHAT WITH ME BEING THE EVILEST! ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WITH A BRAIN BETWEEN THEIR EARS WOULD DARE TO INSINUATE OTHERWISE! SADLY THE WORLD IS NOT WITHOUT ITS SHARE OF BRAINLESS BOOBS, SO IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN DOUBT OF MY EVIL STATUS, THEN EVEN THE BRIEFEST LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE SHOULD DISPEL ANY DOUBTS! WE WICKEDLY EXAMINE THE CEROPEGIA! WE CRUELLY DELVE INTO THE WORLD OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE VILLAINOUS NON-GIFTS! WE TALK ABOUT MATH A SURPRISING AMOUNT, WHICH IS ITS OWN FORM OF EVIL! AND WE EXAMINE PERHAPS THE MOST EVIL FORCE OF ALL: INACCURATE INTERNET QUIZZES! DELVE IN IF YOU ARE PREPARED TO EXPERIENCE SUCH UNCUT VILLAINY! BECAUSE OF HOW EVIL I DEFINITELY AM! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S2E20 - The Evil Gardeners' Grow-Off Jan 01, 2022

can't type now, gotta look up remedies for hornet stings

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evilseed: Nathaniel Hubbard Cobra Commander: James D'Amato Mumm-Ra: Dan Mulkerin

S2E19 - Christmas with the Pranks Dec 15, 2021

HOPEFULLY THE HOLIDAY SEASON HAS PUT YOU IN THE MOOD FOR COWED SUBSERVIENCE, FOR THAT IS ALL THAT WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE OVERWHELMING FORCE THAT IS EPISODE 19! WE ARE JOINED THIS EPISODE BY A GUEST FROM THE OBJECTIVELY LESSER PODCAST "MY PRINCESS, MY PRINCESS, AND BOW," AND PERFUMA BRINGS HER TYPICAL FLAWED POINT OF VIEW AS A REFRESHING COUNTERPOINT TO MY UNFLAGGING PERFECTION! THIS EPISODE WILL TEACH YOU NOT ONLY ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS CACTUS, BUT ALSO ABOUT HOW TO DEVELOP YOUR ACTING SKILLS TO THE LEVEL OF MASTERY, AS WELL AS WHY EVEN THE MOST HARMLESS-SEEMING PRANKS SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN LIGHTLY! SKIP THIS EPISODE AT YOUR OWN VERY REAL PERIL! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S2E18 - Money Doesn't Grow on Bees Dec 01, 2021

NOTHING, NOT A SINGLE THING OR EVENT IN ALL HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE, CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THE TERRIFYING MAGNITUDE OF EPISODE 18! AND NOTHING IN THE UNIVERSE CAN STOP ME FROM OBTAINING THAT WHICH I DESIRE AND DESERVE--NOT THE ONGOING CRIPPLING DEBT FROM THE CONTRACTARIANS, NOT THE ERSATZ "EVIL" OF MY WORTHLESS NEPHEW, AND NOT THE SEEMINGLY UNAVOIDABLE CHAOS OF A CAR WASH FUND RAISER! THIS EPISODE WILL PRESENT YOU WITH VITAL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT DEALING WITH SALT CONTENT IN YOUR SOIL AND WATER, THE IMPORTANCE OF CLEANING YOUR GARDENING TOOLS, AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS ADVISABLE TO FEED BANANAS TO YOUR PETS, BUT YOU WILL ALSO LEARN HOW BEST TO DEAL WITH UNWANTED INSECTILE LOTHARIOS, WHAT THE OBJECTIVE BEST PART OF GOING THROUGH A CAR WASH IS, AND WHAT PRECISELY IS GOING ON WITH A CERTAIN BRAND OF SOAP! ONE THING THAT YOU MAY NOT LEARN HERE IS WHY, EXACTLY, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SO OBSESSED WITH A PARTICULAR PACHYDERM-PATED PSEUDO-CELEBRITY, AS IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THERE ARE YET MYSTERIES UNSOLVED BY EVEN THE VAST INTELLECT OF SKELETOR! BUT JUST WAIT! SOON NOTHING SHALL ESCAPE MY BRAINY GRASP! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton Buzz-Off: Miles Stokes Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Moss-Man: Brandon Brown Snout Spout: Rafael Medina

S2E17 - The Great Eternian Bake Off Nov 15, 2021

DESPITE THE BEST EFFORTS OF MY INNUMERABLE FOES, EPISODE 17 HAS ARRIVED WITH FORCE AND FURY! AND YES, LISTENERS, I AM CONSTANTLY BESET BY MY SHORT-SIGHTED LESSERS WHO SEEK AT EVERY TURN TO THWART MY GRANDIOSE PLOTS, BUT WHEN ONE IS POSSESSED OF SUCH TENACITY AND CREATIVITY AS MYSELF, ONE NEED NOT WORRY! WHO BUT SKELETOR WOULD NOT ONLY LEVERAGE THE SALE OF BAKED GOODS TO OVERCOME FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES, BUT ALSO MANAGE TO INCLUDE IMPORTANT FACTOIDS ABOUT BOTH CARDAMOM AND CACAO, DESPITE THE FIERY CHAOS WHICH IS UNAVOIDABLE IN ANY INTERACTION WHICH INCLUDES WHIPLASH? NO ONE, THAT'S WHO! AND IT IS THUS THAT I SHALL TRAVEL, FIRST OUT OF CRIPPLING DEBT, THEN TO THE RULERSHIP OF THE UNIVERSE ITSELF! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Whiplash: Liz Logan Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S2E16 - My Princess, My Princess, and Bow Nov 01, 2021

hey y'all. with things at snake mountain being kinda up in the air still, i figured i'd drop a little something into the feed in the meantime. it's something i worked on a bit on the side when i popped over to etheria. perfuma and some of the other princesses over there wanted to try their hand at podcasting, so i gave them a hand. i think it turned out pretty good. they gave some advice, they talked about stuff... one of them really liked punking this cat lady for some reason... anyway, you should listen and subscribe. i think it's only available in etheria, though, so... uh... good luck?

[Some Sound Effects and Music from Gfx Sounds. https://gfxsounds.com/free-sound-effects]

Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Adora/She-Ra: Claire Mulkerin Bow: Jason Dania Catra: Annie Craton Grizzlor: Andrew Ihla Ram Man: Jay Edidin Sea Hawk: Dan Mulkerin Hordak: Chris Sims

S2E15 - Dun Dun Duuuun Oct 15, 2021

if you listened to the last episode, you know stuff got weird. guess what? stuff is no less weird in this one. i think i need a break. i hear etheria is nice this time of year...

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina Two Bad: Jef Aldritch and Jon Taylor He-Buddy #1: Miles Schneiderman

S2E14 - Clam Trowel and the Case of the Cantankerous Corpse Oct 01, 2021

well, uh... how to describe this one? if you've been listening, you know about snake mountain's money problems. the gang decides to fix it with a dinner theater murder mystery and... well, things get pretty weird. i'm writing this way after all this stuff happened, obviously, and i'm still trying to figure out how to process all this. i dunno, just listen i guess. you'll see what i mean.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina Two Bad: Jef Aldritch and Jon Taylor He-Buddy #1: Miles Schneiderman

S2E13 - A Nice Normal Episode Sep 15, 2021

WHEN YOU GAZE INTO EPISODE 13, EPISODE 13 ALSO GAZES INTO YOU! YET YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF WELCOMING ITS PIERCING STARE, FOR DESPITE THE CONSTANT CONNIVING INTERRUPTIONS OF BOTH A TREASONOUS, LARCENOUS PEACE LILY *AND* THE LATEST OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S MORONIC MONARCHS, THIS EPISODE STILL MANAGES TO DIG INTO SUCH DIVERSE TOPICS AS CARING FOR PEPEROMIAS, DEALING WITH MOLD GROWTH IN YOUR SOIL, AND THE POTENTIAL LETHALITY OF GINGKO TREES! AND THAT WAS ONLY THE PRE-PLANNED KNOWLEDGE PRESENTED IN THIS EPISODE--I AM SO OVERFLOWING WITH BOTH WISDOM *AND* GENEROSITY THAT YOU WILL ALSO LEARN ABOUT THE IDEAL GIFTS TO GIVE IN A NUMBER OF OBSCURE BUT CRITICAL SITUATIONS! YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO MISS THIS EPISODE... BECAUSE MY WRATH WILL BE UNIMAGINABLE! NYAHAHAHAHA!

[Additional audio this episode from tabletopaudio.com]

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Calculaytor: Adal Rifai Hordak: Chris Sims

S2E12 - A Fist In Time Saves None Sep 01, 2021

THERE EXISTS NO FREEDOM FROM EPISODE 12, ONLY FREEDOM *THROUGH* EPISODE 12! JUST AS I CAN FIND NO FREEDOM FROM THE YOKE OF ETERNIA'S MOST IRKSOME HOLIDAY, SIBLING'S DAY! THAT'S RIGHT LISTENER, EVEN WHILST TRAPPED ON A BOAT WITH TWO OF ETERNIA'S MOST BRAINLESS BEARDED BUMBLERS (AND ALSO TWO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE LARGELY FINE), I STILL FIND TIME AND OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER YOUR CRITICAL BOTANICAL EDUCATION! WE LEARN OF PLANTS THAT CAN DOUBLE AS CUSHIONING FOR THOSE IN YOUR LIFE WHO REGULARLY CAREEN INTO WALLS! WE EXAMINE THE CAT TAIL AND ITS MANY CONTRIBUTIONS TO A WATERY ECOSYSTEM! AND IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY, YOU'LL GLEAN VALUABLE INSIGHTS INTO THE BEST WAYS OF MANIPULATING LESSER MINDS INTO DOING YOUR BIDDING! BUT DO NOT FOOL YOURSELF INTO THINKING THAT SUCH INSIGHTS WILL GIVE YOU AN ADVANTAGE OVER ME--*ALL* MINDS ARE LESSER WHEN COMPARED TO THAT OF SKELETOR! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin King Randor: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Fisto: Hal Lublin

S2E11 - The East Wing Aug 15, 2021

THEY SAY THAT DEATH RIDES A PALE HORSE... AND SO, TOO, DOES EPISODE 11! AND DESPITE THE SLIGHTLY UNCONVENTIONAL SETTING OF THIS RECORDING (DUE IN NO SMALL PART TO THE CURRENTLY UNCONVENTIONAL LAYOUT OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN), MY FONT OF GARDENING KNOWLEDGE REMAINS FREE-FLOWING! ALL THE BETTER FOR YOU HAPLESS HARE-BRAINED HORTICULTURALISTS, AS WE DISCUSS THE NIGH-UBIQUITOUS SPIDER PLANT! WE EXAMINE THE POTENTIAL LETHALITY OF ROSEMARY! AND IF YOU ARE LAMENTING THE FACT THAT WE DON'T GET INTO IDEAL FIRST PLANTS FOR CHILDREN, BLAME SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S MOST RECENT MARITIME MONARCH! HE CAN CLING TO HIS HOLLOW "CAMPAIGN PROMISES" AND "COGENT AND SUSTAINABLE POLICY STRATEGIES FOR LONG-TERM PLANNING AND SUCCESS" ALL HE LIKES--IT WILL DO HIM LITTLE GOOD ONCE SKELETOR'S VICTORY FINALLY AND INEVITABLY COMES TO PASS! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S2E10 - Pizza Treehouse Aug 01, 2021

FALL ON YOUR KNEES IN GRATEFUL SUPPLICATION BEFORE EPISODE TEN! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO ME ON A CONSTANT AND DAILY BASIS, BUT THAT GRATITUDE IS ESPECIALLY APPROPRIATE NOW, AS THIS IS THE LONG-AWAITED SUCCULENT EPISODE! THAT'S RIGHT, HERE WE WILL EXAMINE THAT EVER-SO PERSISTENT AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSE THAT COMES TO GARDENERS OF ALL LEVELS OF EXPERIENCE: THE URGE TO ATTEMPT TO KEEP ALIVE A PLANT THAT PREFERS ARID ENVIRONMENTS! A DIFFICULT TASK MADE ALL THE MORE DIFFICULT BY THE ILL-ADVISED CONSTRUCTION PLANS OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S LATEST OVERLORD AND BY THE CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS OF ITS NEWEST FULL-TIME MINION! STILL, IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR CRITICAL INFORMATION ON ECHEVERIAS, PANDA PLANTS, OR THE MULTIFACETED NATURE OF ONE OF HE-MAN'S BRAINLESS BOOB BUDDIES, THEN LOOK NO FURTHER! ...SERIOUSLY, LOOKING ANY FURTHER THAN THIS EPISODE IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Calculaytor: Adal Rifai Man-E-Faces: Joshua Taulbee Whiplash: Liz Logan

S2E09 - Not Today, Adulthood Jul 15, 2021

YOUR NIGHTMARE CONTINUES UNABATED AS THE NEWEST EPISODE OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR EMERGES INTO AN UNPREPARED WORLD! DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SIMILARLY UNPREPARED, LISTENER, AS A NUMBER OF TOPICS OF OVERWHELMING IMPORTANCE ARE DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE! THAT'S RIGHT, NOT ONLY DOES THIS EPISODE PROVIDE YOU WITH LITERALLY PRICELESS INFORMATION ABOUT WEEDS, GARDENING TOOLS, AND SQUASH, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE THOSE AMONG US WHO ARE LEGION? WHO ARE LIKELY CAPABLE OF TRANSFORMING INTO A SWARM OF STINGING INSECTS DESPITE ALL THEIR PROTESTATIONS TO THE CONTRARY? WELL IT'S TRUE! YOU CAN'T AFFORD *NOT* TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE, LEST YOU FIND YOURSELF TURNED INTO SO MUCH FERTILIZER! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Cody: Shiane D. Jacocks Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S2E08 - This Eternian Life Jul 01, 2021

guess what? some weird stuff happened and we have a non-normal episode. again. i know, i'm shocked too. you may not learn as much about plants this time around, but maybe you'll learn something about... life? you'll definitely learn that you can't trust a single person in or around snake mountain, that's for sure.

Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin Two Bad: Jef Aldritch and Jon Taylor Whiplash: Liz Logan Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Ram Man: Jay Edidin Perfuma: Meganbob

S2E07 - Tri-Klops, Bi-Klops, and No-Klops Jun 15, 2021

NOTHING CAN STOP THE TERRIFYING MOMENTUM OF EPISODE SEVEN! THAT'S RIGHT, NOT EVEN SOME DOWNRIGHT IMPLAUSIBLE ARCHITECTURAL REDESIGNS FROM SPITEFUL CONTRACTARIANS! IT DOES CHANGE THE OVERALL TEXTURE OF THE EPISODE, BUT DON'T THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT MEANS THAT YOU'LL BE RECEIVING ANY LESS THAN AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF PLANT FACTOIDS! YOU'LL BE ENLIGHTENED ABOUT THE FERAL AND HIGHLY PRACTICAL BUTTERFLY WEED! YOU'LL HAVE YOUR EYES OPENED TO THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE TIMES TO WATER YOUR PLANTS! YOU'LL RECEIVE FOXGLOVE-RELATED INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE A FURRY IDIOT NEAR YOU! YOU'LL ALSO LEARN SOME RANDOM FACTS ABOUT GIRAFFES, EYE NOMENCLATURE, AND WOLFBATS--NOT DIRECTLY PLANT-BASED, BUT THAT'S JUST HOW OVERFLOWING WITH HELPFUL TIDBITS THIS EPISODE IS! ENJOY MY MAGNANIMITY... WHILE IT LASTS! NYAHAHAHAHA! [Additional audio this episode from tabletopaudio.com] Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Tri-Klops: James D'Amato Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S2E06 - PLAPP Goes the Weasel Jun 01, 2021

NOTE THE DEEP FEELINGS OF DREAD IN YOUR BONES WHEN YOU LOOK UPON EPISODE SIX, LISTENER, AND TAKE CARE THAT YOU TREAD LIGHTLY! ALSO NOTE HOW IMMEDIATE THE REGRET IS WHEN MY OWN RIGHTEOUS LEADERSHIP IS REJECTED, AS MY FORMER MINIONS DEMONSTRATE ALL TOO CLEARLY IN THIS VERY EPISODE! BUT THE LEARNING DOESN'T STOP THERE, AS WE DELVE INTO THE SECRETS OF FERTILIZERS, A LISTENER QUESTION SHEDS SOME LIGHT ON PROBLEMS WITH TOMATO HARVESTS, AND WE EVEN GET SOME INCIDENTAL EXPLANATIONS ABOUT PROPAGATING PEACE LILIES! INCIDENTALLY, LISTENERS, IF YOU HAVE HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO DOWNLOAD A CERTAIN "PLANT APP" RECENTLY, LET ME KNOW--I PLAN ON LOOKING INTO EITHER A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT, OR POSSIBLY SOME SORT OF APHID-BASED CURSE! SUCH IS THE WRATH OF SKELETOR! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Trap Jaw: Aaron Catano-Saez Tri-Klops: James D'Amato Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S2E05 - Heavy Are the Heads That All Wear Their Own Individual Crowns May 15, 2021

MARK YOU THIS DATE IN HISTORY, O MEEK AND TREMBLING LISTENER, FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU EXPERIENCED THE UNMATCHED FORCE OF EPISODE FIVE! AND THIS IS TRULY A MILESTONE EPISODE, AS THIS MARKS ONE OF THE FEW, IF ONLY, TIMES THAT A GUEST ON THIS SHOW HAS ACTUALLY BEEN WELCOME! WHICH, OF COURSE, DOESN'T PREVENT A VERITABLE PARADE OF *UN*INVITED GUESTS FROM FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS! FEAR NOT, FOR UNMITIGATED BUFFOONERY IS NO MATCH FOR MY GARDENING MIGHT, AND OUR DISCUSSIONS ON OXALIS TRIANGULARIS AND CHIVES REMAIN WHOLLY INTACT! BETTER STILL, AMIDST THE CHAOS OF CERTAIN MINIONS REVEALING THEIR COMPLETE LACK OF BASIC SURVIVAL INSTINCTS, KEEN-EARED LISTENERS MAY PICK UP THE SEEDS BEING PLANTED FOR MY INEVITABLE VICTORY! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Trap Jaw: Aaron Catano-Saez Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Beast Man: Rafael Medina

S2E04 - Extremely Petty Cash May 01, 2021

IF YOU AWOKE THIS MORNING WITH AN INDEFINABLE BUT UNDENIABLE FEELING OF DREAD, THAT WAS YOUR BODY'S RESPONSE TO THE INCOMING TERROR OF EPISODE 4! AND WHAT COULD BE MORE TERRIFYING AND DREAD-INDUCING THAN CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS OF MY GARDENING GENIUS? MY WRATH UPON THOSE WHO INTERRUPT ME, OF COURSE! TRUE, THE ILL-DRESSED CONTRACTORS AND NUMBER-CRUNCHING MINIONS IN THIS EPISODE WERE NOT *IMMEDIATELY* SMOTE DOWN BY MY ARCANE MIGHT UPON COMMITTING THEIR TRANSGRESSIONS, BUT THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON MUCH GRANDER THINGS! THINGS LIKE SWEET POTATOES! ALSO CALENDARS AND SCHEDULING! NOT TO MENTION PLANTS THAT THE BEAST MAN IN YOUR LIFE CAN ACTUALLY MUNCH ON! YES, THESE AND OTHER TOPICS MAY HAVE DELAYED MY INEVITABLE REVENGE, BUT I ASSURE YOU THE DELAY IS ONLY TEMPORARY! VENGEANCE--AND ETERNIA--WILL BE MINE! AND IN A WAY THAT'S SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CONCRETE THAN USUAL! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Calculaytor: Adal Rifai

S2E03 - The POGfather Apr 15, 2021

i asked the boss man what he wanted for this episode's description, and he just did this kind of threat-mope at me? like he would kill me with his own patheticness? i dunno, there should be a word for it. we'll call it skeletoring. he skeletored really hard at me. so... what happens in this one again? there's some plant talk, we check in with some of the changes in snake mountain, skeletor reveals some pretty dubious financial investment plans, and... well, i guess i *had* been pressuring him to find a hobby, so what happens here isn't all that surprising. still gonna say this one isn't on me, tho.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Beast Man: Rafael Medina

S2E02 - And Ennui Go Apr 01, 2021

THERE CAN BE NO ESCAPE FROM THE EXTREMELY FINE AND NOT-AT-ALL-WALLOWING-IN-EXISTENTIAL-DISCONTENT EPISODE TWO! AND SPEAKING OF BEINGS WHO ARE ENTIRELY CONTENT WITH THE CURRENT STATE OF THINGS, I, YOUR MAGNANIMOUS HOST, AM BACK WITH YET MORE GEMS OF GARDENING WISDOM TO FOIST UPON MY BRAINLESS AUDIENCE IN THE HOPES THAT MAYBE, POSSIBLY, SOMETHING MIGHT STICK! HEREIN LIE THE SECRETS TO EFFECTIVE GARDEN LAYOUTS, USING PLANTS TO CLEAN YOUR INDOOR AIR, AND LICHEN! IT'S JUST A SHAME THAT MY SOUND MINION INSISTS UPON WATERING DOWN MY INVALUABLE WISDOM WITH INANE RAMBLINGS ABOUT "HOBBIES" AND "DOING SOMETHING WITH ONE'S LIFE!" WELL *YOUR* LIVES, LISTENERS, SHOULD BE SPENT HEEDING MY ADVICE, OR YOU MAY FIND YOURSELVES WITHOUT A LIFE AT ALL! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin

S2E01 - Everything Is Fine Mar 15, 2021

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED WHATEVER PITIFUL COMFORT YOU WERE GIVEN DURING THIS PODCAST'S HIATUS, BUT THAT HIATUS--AND YOUR COMFORT--COMES TO AN END NOW! THAT'S RIGHT, DESPITE SUBSTANDARD INDOOR TEMPERATURES, DISAPPOINTING NEW SNAKE MOUNTAIN LEADERSHIP, AND AN UNACCEPTABLY MOUTHY PEACE LILY, GARDEN PLOTS IS BACK TO DELIVER MORE WONDERFUL YET TERRIFYING KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THAT THE WORLD OF PLANT CARE HAS TO OFFER! I REVEAL THE SECRETS OF USING YOUR SHOWER TO MAKE UP FOR YOUR OWN BUNGLING! WE EXPLORE THE DIFFICULT YET REWARDING EXPERIENCE OF RAISING A CROTON! A LISTENER WHO KNOWS THEIR PLACE COMES GROVELING WITH A QUESTION ABOUT SPIDER MITES! AND, DESPITE THE MYRIAD OBSTACLES OF PANDA MITTENS, BRISKET TACOS, AND INEDIBLE PASTA THAT LIFE SEES FIT TO THROW IN MY PATH, MY IMPENDING RISE TO POWER IS NOW EVEN MORE IMPENDING THAN EVER! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Beast Man: Rafael Medina

S2E00 - Ask Not For Whom the Answering Machine Beeps Mar 01, 2021

okay, i'm dragging this thing back into production kicking and screaming if i have to. which, probably. my gpa is hanging on by a thread as it is.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Queen Marlena: Claire Mulkerin Hordak: Chris Sims Whiplash: Liz Logan Sorceress: Alexandra Rowland Ram Man: Jay Edidin Man-at-Arms: Jarod K Anderson He-Man/Prince Adam: Kris Newton

Season 2 Trailer? Feb 15, 2021

Season 2 of Garden Plots with Skeletor is coming in March! Will any of the stuff in this trailer actually show up in the show? Only one way to find out...

Cast: Narrator: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-at-Arms: Jarod K Anderson Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina He-Man: Kris Newton Li'l Skelly: Dan Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard He-Buddy #1: Miles Schneiderman Whiplash: Liz Logan

Music Used: Truth of the Legend by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4551-truth-of-the-legend License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Wretched Destroyer by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5017-wretched-destroyer License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Wholesome by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5050-wholesome License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Ice Giants by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5745-the-ice-giants License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

A Very Brady Special by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5760-a-very-brady-special License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Almost Bliss by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5032-almost-bliss License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Wizardtorium by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4639-wizardtorium License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Virtutes Instrumenti by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4590-virtutes-instrumenti License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Loopster by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4991-loopster License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Strength Of The Titans by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5744-strength-of-the-titans License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Interview with Lucas Brown Feb 01, 2021

With season 2 on the horizon, our main creative team sat down with the inimitable Lucas Brown from the podcast The Math of You to discuss the creative process behind season 1. Join us as we chat about our weird fascination with certain characters from Masters of the Universe, the myriad ways in which we've failed our own plants, and take some questions from our listening audience!

Season 1 Cutting Room Floor Jan 15, 2021

i can already hear some of you out there saying, "how can this show have a cutting room floor? riley clearly doesn't edit anything." well think again. here's the proof of how wrong you are.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond

S1E25 - Have Yourself an Evil Little Christmas Dec 25, 2020

sup fam, hope everyone's having a good holiday. this is another plant-light episode, but c'mon, it's christmas and stuff. we can't be bothered to think about, like, vines or whatever all the time. sometimes you just wanna get together with your buds, reflect on the year, exchange presents, and think about the future. well, there's a little bit of all of that in this episode, but... maybe not in the ways you're thinking. all i can say is that next year is gonna be very interesting.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Evil-Lyn Whiplash: Liz Logan

S1E24 - The Flower of Grayskull Dec 15, 2020

don't really have the energy for a description, for a lot of reasons. this one is... well, not really a good representation of the podcast's usual theme. i guess we haven't really visited the podcast's usual theme for a bit now, but this one... yeah, stuff happens. i dunno, just listen. i kind of need to lie down for a while.

at least i have some funnel cake.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Sorceress: Alexandra Rowland Perfuma: Meganbob Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton

S1E23 - Mulch Ado About Mulching Dec 01, 2020

hey y'all. don't let the fact that skeletor still didn't have time to write a description throw you off, this is a totally normal episode of the show. yup, we talk about tons of plants in this one. so many plants. maybe too many plants? i guess that's up to you. but yup, we cover... moss? and mulch? we definitely don't take advantage of the fact that a certain podcast host is in way over his head to chat about personal drama in eternos. why would you even think that?

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Mekaneck: Matthew Seik

S1E22 - The Birds and the Giant Anthropomorphic Bee Nov 15, 2020

hey guys, riley here. this episode has less than the usual amount of plant stuff because skeletor's been pretty busy. i'm not sure what he's busy with though. he said "feasibility study" and i tuned out. king stuff, i guess? also, and i cannot stress this enough, do not listen to the end of this episode. definitely don't let kids listen. are kids listening to this? kids, if you're listening to this uhh, eat your vegetables. that's a thing adults say. seriously though, the ending went some places and i was unwilling to listen to it again to edit it out. all i can say is that when we studied plants in bio class, that definitely wasn't how the textbook said pollination works.

[[Some additional music from Bensound.com]]

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Ram Man: Jay Edidin Buzz-Off: Miles Stokes He-Buddy #1: Miles Schneiderman Mekaneck: Matthew Seik

S1E21 - Garden Plots with KING Skeletor! Nov 01, 2020

NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Queen Marlena: Claire Mulkerin Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton King Randor: Matty Cardarople

S1E20 - Ghost Legs Oct 15, 2020

BE SURE THAT YOU HAVE PUT YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER, BECAUSE YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE THE SPOOKY EXPERIENCE THAT IS EPISODE 20! OF COURSE, WHEN YOU ARE AS INHERENTLY TERRIFYING AS I AM, ALL YOUR WORKS CARRY A CERTAIN SPOOK FACTOR TO THEM, AND THIS EPISODE IS NO DIFFERENT REGARDLESS OF A CERTAIN HOLIDAY! AFTER DEMONSTRATING MY UNQUESTIONABLE GRASP ON YOUTH SPEAK, WE COVER THE PRACTICALITIES OF HARVESTING AND STORING YOUR VEGETABLE YIELDS! WE DISCOVER DISTURBING NEW LEVELS OF BEAST MAN'S INCOMPETENCE! WE DISCUSS THE CARE OF THE PAINFULLY MORTAL BROMELIAD! AND IF YOU LISTEN WITH AN ATTENTIVE EAR, YOU MAY PICK UP ELEMENTS OF MY NEWEST EVIL PLAN... A PLAN WHICH GUARANTEES MY VICTORY OVER ETERNIA, GRAYSKULL, AND THAT ACCURSED HE-MAN! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S1E19 - War Offering Oct 01, 2020

YOU CANNOT RESIST THE UNIMAGINABLE FORCE AND MAJESTY OF EPISODE NINETEEN! YES, I REALIZE THAT LAST EPISODE WAS SOMEWHAT ATYPICAL OF THIS SHOW, BUT *THIS* EPISODE... IS ALSO SOMEWHAT ATYPICAL! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT! THIS IS MY SHOW AND SOMETIMES THINGS THAT SEEM OFF-TOPIC AND UNUSUAL ARE SIMPLY PART OF A GREATER PLAN! AND SOMETIMES LINGERING ISSUES NEED TO BE ADDRESSED! ISSUES LIKE MINION-BASED BETRAYAL, LINGERING OBNOXIOUS HOUSEGUESTS, THE AFTERMATH OF EXCESSIVE IMBIBING, AND... PERHAPS... FEELINGS THAT SLIGHTLY RESEMBLE REMORSE IF, YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK AT THEM IN AN OBJECTIVELY INCORRECT WAY! DO NOT SEEK TO COMPREHEND THE VAST AND SUBTLE EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE OF SKELETOR! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Hordak: Chris Sims

S1E18 - The Drunkening Sep 15, 2020

ugh, i can't even with this. it's like, i get why he's mad, but he has no idea why *i'm* mad? not even a little bit? what a jerk. you know what, i'm glad uncle hordak is still around. at least then they can be jerks at each other some of the time instead of at me all the time.

i guess i should probably write something about this episode. i dunno, skeletor talks about cilantro for a bit and how much it sucks. then he and uncle hordak try a drink submitted by a listener and it kind of all falls apart after that. in a not terrible way, though. i mean, it's pretty terrible for them, which is pretty funny for me. so i guess it's not a total loss.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Hordak: Chris Sims Lucas Brown: Himself

S1E17 - The Worst Houseguest Sep 01, 2020

BEG ALL YOU WANT, PLEAD ALL YOU LIKE, IT WILL DO YOU NO GOOD AGAINST THE BOUNDLESS FURY OF EPISODE SEVENTEEN! ALL YOU WOULD-BE CULTIVATORS OF AQUATIC PLANTS CAN THROW YOURSELVES AT MY FEET IN BREATHLESS GRATITUDE, FOR IT IS IN THIS EPISODE THAT WE DISCUSS WATER GARDENS! MER-MAN, MY MOST MOIST OF MINIONS, JOINS ME ON THE MIC AND SHARES BOTH INSIGHT INTO THE BENEFITS OF WATER GARDENS, AND THE OCCASIONAL TANGENT INTO HIS OWN DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR! A PITY, REALLY, THAT THIS EPISODE'S WISDOM IS SO TAINTED BY A CERTAIN BOORISH BAT-THEMED HOUSEGUEST FROM ETHERIA WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS! AND THAT IS IT, THERE ARE CERTAINLY NO ADDITIONAL INTERJECTIONS OR SNIDE REMARKS FROM TRAITOROUS SOUND MINIONS WHOSE EXISTENCE I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE! BUT THAT IS MY PRIVILEGE, ETERNIA--TO IGNORE *MY* EXISTENCE IS TO INVITE YOUR OWN UNTIMELY DEMISE! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Hordak: Chris Sims

S1E16 - Betrayal at Snake Mountain Aug 15, 2020

IF YOU NEED PROOF OF THE EXISTENCE OF A HIGHER BEING THAN YOURSELF, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN EPISODE 16! AND THERE ARE CERTAIN MINIONS AROUND SNAKE MOUNTAIN THAT WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT THEY, TOO, ARE BEING WATCHED BY A HIGHER POWER... ONE THAT SEES ALL, KNOWS ALL, AND IS EAGER TO DOLE OUT WELL-DESERVED PUNISHMENT! BUT THAT COMES LATER! FIRST WE GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT TREACHEROUS PLANTS LIKE THE SUNDEW! WE SPEAK OF THE BETRAYAL THAT MAY SPRING UP IN YOUR OWN GARDEN, BE IT DISEASE OR INCOMPETENT MINIONS! WE ARE PESTERED THROUGHOUT BY THE MOST IRRITATING HOUSEGUEST IN THE UNIVERSE! AND I REVEAL MY BRILLIANT DEDUCTIVE SKILLS, AS WELL AS MY TERRIBLE WRATH, IN AN UNFORGETTABLE LEAF IT TO ME! LISTEN WELL, LEST YOU TOO KNOW THE WRATH OF SKELETOR! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Hordak: Chris Sims

S1E15 - Pothos and Drama Aug 01, 2020

BANISH FROM YOUR PUNY MINDS ANY MISCONCEPTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO ESCAPE FROM THE TERRIFYING POWER OF EPISODE 15--I ASSURE YOU, YOU CANNOT! AFTER BRIEFLY INDULGING ALL OF YOU WITH DARING TALES OF MY ESCAPE FROM ETERNIAN PRISON, I INDULGE YOU EVEN FURTHER BY ANSWERING YOUR INANE QUESTIONS ON-AIR! WE DISCUSS MY SHOPPING PREFERENCES! WE MENTION HOW YOU CAN APPLY FOR A MINION POSITION AT SNAKE MOUNTAIN! I EXPLAIN WHY MORNING IS NOT ONLY THE BEST PART OF THE DAY, BUT THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE DAY! THESE AND MANY MORE PEARLS OF WISDOM AWAIT YOUR UNWORTHY EARS! AND KNOW THAT NEITHER THE IRON BARS OF AN UNJUST LAW ENFORCEMENT SYSTEM, NOR A TRULY TERRIBLE UPCOMING HOUSEGUEST, WILL KEEP ME FROM MY RIGHTFUL PLACE OF RULERSHIP! NYAHAHAHAHA!

(also, stay tuned to the end for a li'l blast from the past, courtesy of yours truly

S1E14 - Garden Plots Without Skeletor Jul 15, 2020

sup y'all, it's riley again. yeah, skeletor was still locked up for this episode, but i wasn't gonna get arrested by trying to bring the recording equipment back to his cell, so i figured i'd just wing it this week. turns out though, a lot of skeletor's minions actually have a lot to say when a certain someone isn't screaming at them constantly. evil-lyn talks about her ambitions. beast man gives his advice on the best plants to chew. mer-man reveals his surprisingly impressive credentials. whiplash honestly kind of blows my mind with his really stupid philosophy. trap jaw spills the t on why he's really working for skeletor. and i try to keep everyone from catching fire. so far, so good.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Whiplash: Liz Logan Trap Jaw: Aaron Catano-Saez

S1E13 - Eternian Prison Blues Jul 01, 2020

hey fam, riley here, and you know what that means. yup, skeletor couldn't write the description for this ep. turns out eternia has some pretty strict laws when it comes to, you know, trying to conquer the world or whatever, so he's not exactly in a position to make it to the usual recording studio, if you know what i mean. we do what we can, though. we still manage to talk about... uh, moss, i think? and something about orchids? honestly tho, a lot of this episode is a bit of a blur to me because we had some surprise guests that are just like, omg. you guys won't even believe it. i stan so hard. just listen, you'll see.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton Queen Marlena: Claire Mulkerin

S1E12 - A Plan That Will Succeed Jun 15, 2020

ENJOY WHAT REMAINS OF YOUR PITIFUL STATUS QUO, FOR EPISODE TWELVE HAS ARRIVED TO SMASH ALL OF YOUR PRECONCEPTIONS! AFTER RILEY WASTES ALL OF OUR TIME BY REFUSING TO ADMIT TO HER OWN GARDENING INCOMPETENCE, WE GET INTO THE EPISODE PROPER BY SPEAKING ABOUT MONSTERAS! WE INTERROGATE THE MARIGOLD AND ITS POSSIBLE BEAST MAN-KILLING PROPERTIES! WE SPEAK OF THE USES OF INSECT MINIONS IN YOUR GARDEN DURING FERAL FOLIAGE! I BLESS A DANGEROUSLY IGNORANT LISTENER WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF ALOE CARE DURING LEAF IT TO ME! AND WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT MY PEACE LILY?! WHAT YOU SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT IS MY IMMINENT REIGN OVER ETERNIA, NOW MORE IMMINENT THAN EVER! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin

S1E11 - Not About Posteriors! Jun 01, 2020

REMEMBER WELL THIS DAY, FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU EXPERIENCED THE UNPARALLELED EPISODE ELEVEN! AND THIS IS AN ESPECIALLY INSTRUCTIVE EPISODE ABOUT WHY IT IS UNWISE TO CROSS OR DISAPPOINT ME! WE START WITH TALKING ABOUT HOW TO SELECT, AND THEN STEAL, PLANTS FROM LOCAL NURSERIES! BUT THAT DISCUSSION IS CUT WOEFULLY SHORT--BECAUSE OF SOME BUNGLING FROM AN ESPECIALLY INCOMPETENT MINION, WE ARE FORCED TO REVIEW THE LETHALITY OF CERTAIN TYPES OF PLANTS! AND SPEAKING OF WOEFUL INCOMPETENCE, WHAT WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN AN INSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSION ON HOME VEGETABLE GROWTH TURNS INTO A PARADE OF IDIOCY THANKS TO MORE MINION-BASED INCOMPETENCE! TAKE AN OBJECT LESSON FROM MY MINIONS, LISTENERS: THOSE WHO ANGER ME WILL FEEL MY WRATH! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina

S1E10 - Skeletor's Top Ten Top Ten May 15, 2020

YOU MAY COMMENCE THANKING ME PROFUSELY FOR THE GLORY AND WONDER OF EPISODE TEN! AND FRANKLY, I EXPECT A LOT MORE GRATITUDE IN GENERAL GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF WISDOM AND GUIDANCE I PROVIDE FOR YOU PEOPLE ON A REGULAR BASIS! SINCE I HAVE NOW PROVIDED YOU WITH TEN FULL EPISODES OF SAID WISDOM AND GUIDANCE, IN FACT, I HAVE DECIDED TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE A GLIMPSE INTO MY INNER LIFE WITH ALL OF YOU! CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THE DEPTHS OF MY GENEROSITY?! I POSIT THAT YOU CANNOT! LISTEN, AND HAVE YOUR WORLDVIEW FOREVER CHANGED BY THE POWER OF MY LISTS! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Whiplash: Liz Logan

S1E09 - Not a Date May 01, 2020

JUST AS THE DARKEST OF PROPHECIES PREDICTED, EPISODE NINE HAS ARRIVED IN ALL ITS HORRIFYING GLORY! PREPARE, IF YOU CAN, FOR AN ESPECIALLY EDUCATIONAL FERAL FOLIAGE SEGMENT ON THE DASTARDLY DANDELION! STEEL YOURSELVES FOR MY SAGE WISDOM ON SELECTING TRANSPLANT SEEDLINGS! TRY NOT TO BE OVERCOME BY AWE AS I ADVISE A LISTENER ON DEALING WITH UNWANTED HERBIVOROUS PESTS! AND... LOOK, LISTENERS, I'VE ONLY EVER WANTED THIS SHOW TO BE ABOUT GARDENING, BUT TWO OF MY MINIONS HAVE DECIDED TO DRAG MY PERSONAL LIFE INTO THE SPOTLIGHT! AGGRAVATING AS THIS IS, THEIR UNPROFESSIONAL QUESTIONING ACTUALLY LEADS TO SOME HIGH-QUALITY DISCUSSION ON HOW TO EVADE ASSASSINS! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS EPISODE... IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond

S1E08 - Flowers for Skeletor Apr 15, 2020

YOU MAY HAVE PRAYED FOR DELIVERANCE FROM EPISODE EIGHT, BUT THOSE PRAYERS HAVE FALLEN ON DEAF EARS! IN THIS EPISODE, I MAGNANIMOUSLY SHARE MY PRECIOUS AIRTIME WITH A GUEST, ONE WHO BRINGS AN... UNCONVENTIONAL VIEW OF PLANTS WITH HER! SHE AND I (REALLY JUST ME) HELP MY SOUND MINION RILEY WITH HER LAUGHABLY REMEDIAL BIOLOGY HOMEWORK! WE TRY AN OFFERING OF LIBATIONS GIVEN TO US BY A LISTENER! AND NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU, FOR THE GLORY OF MY MIDNIGHT GARDEN AWAITS... A GLORY SOON TO BE OVERSHADOWED ONCE ETERNIA ITSELF BECOMES MY GARDEN! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Lucas Brown: Himself

S1E07 - Skeletor Gets His Groove Back Apr 01, 2020

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE, EPISODE SEVEN LEAPS OUT FROM THE SHADOWS! AND DESPITE THE... BRIEF SETBACK OF LAST EPISODE, MY VILLAINY IS ONCE MORE IN FULL SWING THANKS TO AN INSPIRING NEW SECRET WEAPON IN MY ARSENAL OF EVIL! BE GLAD, THEN, THAT I HAVE CHOSEN ONLY TO BRING YOU PLANT KNOWLEDGE INSTEAD OF OUTRIGHT DESTRUCTION! THIS EPISODE TOUCHES ON THAT POWER-HUNGRY HERB KNOWN AS MINT! WE SPEAK OF THE DECEPTIVELY TREACHEROUS PEACE LILY, AS WELL AS THE OPENLY TOXIC POTHOS! I ONCE AGAIN ATTEMPT TO GRANT WISDOM TO MY MINIONS, TO NO AVAIL! A LISTENER QUESTION LEADS TO A CRITICAL DISCUSSION OF FERTILIZER! AND RILEY ONCE MORE OVERSTEPS HER BOUNDS AS A MINION! THANKFULLY FOR HER, AND FOR YOU, MY MALEVOLENCE REMAINS FIRMLY FIXED ON MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST OF ETERNIA! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina

S1E06 - Skeletor's Loyal Bathrobe Mar 15, 2020

hey, it's riley. skeletor didn't feel like doing one of these description things for this episode, so i guess i have to be the professional one. it's a whole thing, you'll see. anyway, we talk about finding dead plants in feral foliage. we see if swedish ivy will kill beast man. we take a question from a listener about watering their peace lily. but mostly it's mer-man going over the latest plot and explaining why skeletor's being so weird. like i said, you'll see.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

S1E05 - Definitely Not Up to Something Mar 01, 2020

YOU CAN NEITHER RUN NOR HIDE FROM THE TERROR OF EPISODE FIVE! NOR SHOULD YOU WANT TO, UNLESS YOU FEAR QUALITY GARDENING KNOWLEDGE OFFERED IN A PLEASING AND FORCEFUL FASHION! I TALK ABOUT TRANSITIONING YOUR GARDEN AS THE WEATHER BEGINS TO CHANGE! WE TOUCH ON THE FEARSOME AND IMMORTAL TILLANDSIA AND ITS POTENTIAL LETHALITY REGARDING BEAST MAN! I GRACE YOUR IGNORANT EARS WITH PRICELESS KNOWLEDGE REGARDING CACTUS CARE! A LISTENER'S QUESTION PROMPTS AN IN-DEPTH DISCUSSION ABOUT MINIONS, OVERLORDS, AND ENEMIES IN THE PLANT KINGDOM! AND SPEAKING OF KINGDOMS, YOU'D ALL BETTER GET USED TO SEEING A CROWN ON THIS HEAD, BECAUSE WHEELS ARE IN MOTION! FEAR THE MOTION OF MY MIGHTY WHEELS! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin

S1E04 - A Snake Mountain Valentine's Feb 15, 2020

LOOK UPON EPISODE FOUR, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR! YES, I'M TALKING SPECIFICALLY TO YOU, HE-MAN! I GIFT YOU WITH A SLIVER OF MY VAST KNOWLEDGE OF PEAS! WE SPEAK OF THE RUBBER PLANT AND ITS ADMIRABLY DARK AESTHETIC! A LISTENER QUESTION PROMPTS AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISCUSSION WITH A MINION WHO, FRANKLY, NEEDS TO LEARN TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS! I ESTABLISH MY UNQUESTIONABLE SUPERIORITY OVER A PUNY HOLIDAY! AND THE FALL OF ETERNIA'S PITIFUL ROYAL FAMILY BECOMES EVER MORE AN INEVITABILITY! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond

S1E03 - Skeletor and That Word Feb 01, 2020

NOTHING IN YOUR PITIFUL MORTAL LIFE COULD HAVE PREPARED YOU FOR THE GRANDEUR OF EPISODE THREE! I INTRODUCE A MONUMENTAL NEW SEGMENT THAT WILL HAVE ALL OF ETERNIA TREMBLING AT MY FEET! I EXAMINE THE HIDDEN POWER OF THE OTHERWISE UNASSUMING SNOW DROP! I DEIGN TO SHARE WITH YOU THE SECRETS OF A SPECIALLY-MADE HOT BED! I EXPOUND UPON THE CORRECT WAY OF GROWING SAGE IN YOUR HOME! I RIGHTFULLY LAMBAST A BONE-HEADED LISTENER ABOUT LEAVING THE HEAT ON TOO HIGH! AND I DISCOVER ONE OF RILEY'S GREATEST WEAKNESSES, MUCH AS I SHALL SOON DISCOVER THE WEAKNESSES OF ALL MY ENEMIES! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin

S1E02 - Skeletor Hates Allergies Jan 15, 2020

BEHOLD, IF YOU DARE, THE MONSTROUS VISAGE OF EPISODE TWO! WE APPARENTLY NEED TO SPEND TIME TALKING ABOUT MY NEW SOUND MINION, BUT AFTER THAT WE MOVE ON TO DISCUSSING CARING FOR PLANTS IN WINTER! I CRUSH MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT GMOS AND HEIRLOOMS LIKE THE PATHETIC VERMIN THEY ARE! I UNFORTUNATELY FIND THE NEED TO EJECT A MEDDLING MINION FROM MY RECORDING LAIR! SPEAKING OF MEDDLING MINIONS, WE EXAMINE WHETHER PARLOR PALMS WILL KILL BEAST MAN! A LISTENER INQUIRES ABOUT PLANT DORMANCY! AND THE DAWN OF MY UNIVERSAL DOMINANCE DRAWS EVER NEARER! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina

S1E01 - Skeletor Starts a Podcast Jan 01, 2020

TREMBLE BEFORE THE TERRIFYING DEBUT OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR! AFTER A BRIEF AND FRANKLY UNNECESSARY INTRODUCTION OF YOURS TRULY, WE MOVE INTO AN EXAMINATION OF THE SNAKE PLANT AND HOW TO BEST KEEP IT ALIVE DESPITE YOUR CONSTANT BUNGLING! THERE IS A LISTENER QUESTION! WE EXAMINE WHETHER POINSETTIAS WILL KILL BEAST MAN! MER-MAN VALIDATES MY LONG-HELD OPINIONS! AND MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST OVER ETERNIA GROWS EVER-CLOSER BY THE DAY! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

Garden Plots with Skeletor Trailer Dec 06, 2019

Are you looking for gardening guidance but can’t stand the vague, wishy-washy answers to your plant problems? Are you sick and tired of advice from people you wouldn’t trust to peel an orange, much less fertilize an orchid?

Well you're in luck, because it is I, Skeletor, here casting pods at you. If you know anything about my work, and you should, it's that I am the sworn enemy of He-Man and the rightful Master of the Universe! What you may not know is that I'm also the rightful master of gardening!

Overwatering? Underwatering? Not sure how to water your plants? NOT ON MY WATCH. Garden Plots with Skeletor is a scheme, I mean podcast, that will save your plants from your black-thumbed buffoonery and will turn you into… well, it will not turn you a Master of the Universe, but it will make you a less incompetent gardener! With my commands, your backyard will flourish, your window boxes will blossom, and you’ll finally get that cool ‘urban jungle’ look that people keep talking about. Most importantly, you won’t disappoint me, which is something I assure you you would be wise to avoid.

Subscribe to Garden Plots with Skeletor wherever you get your podcasts. Garden Plots with Skeletor! Scheming to keep your greens… green.

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