Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Latest Episodes:

TPP 331: John Sovec on Supporting LGBTQIA+ Differently Wired Kids Jun 20, 2023

Show notes

Today I’m delighted to be bringing to the show a conversation about supporting LGBTQIA+ kids, and I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with, John Sovec, a therapist, author, and nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. I wanted to talk with John because these conversations are becoming increasingly prevalent within our neurodivergent communities.

During our conversation, John explained what “coming out” means and why it’s such a significant and ongoing event for any LGBTQIA+ person. He also shared his thoughts on the high correlation between neurodivergence and gender nonconformity, how parents can best respond when their child comes out to them, why affirmation is more important than acceptance, and why it’s so important that parents honor their own process as they navigate understanding their child’s identity.

About John Sovec

John Sovec, MA, LMFT is a nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. He is the author of Out: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond (JKP, 2023). John is a frequent contributor to numerous publications on providing LGBTQIA+ support, speaks at conferences nationally, and provides training and professional consultation on LGBTQIA+ competencies for community agencies, schools, and nonprofits. In addition, he consults and trains on the corporate level regarding diversity, equity, and LGBTQIA+ inclusion.

In December 2019, he was appointed by Governor Gavin Newsom to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. John is the host of OutTalk, a monthly web series for OutCare Health.

Things you'll learn from this episode

Why it’s important that LGBTQIA+ kids have access to therapists and mental health support that is affirming and informed in the community’s specific challenges
What LGBTQIA+ plus stands for
What “coming out” means in our contemporary society
John’s guidance for how parents can respond to their child’s coming out in a way that feels supportive and loving
How parents can show up for their LGBTQIA+ kids in an affirming way
What parents with LGBTQIA+ kids are most concerned about and how they can navigate their own emotional process

Resources mentioned for

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TPP 106a: Author and Parent Coach Julie King on Sibling Dynamics Jun 16, 2023

Show notes

If you are the parent of more than one child, neurotypical or atypical, this is an episode you are definitely going to want to listen to. I get requests for topics from listeners all the time (which, by the way, is great…please keep them coming!), and one of the most common requests is for an episode specifically on sibling relationships. So I found the perfect guest to talk about the sibling dynamic—parent educator Julie King.

Julie co-authored the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, a Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 alongside Joanna Faber, and leads dynamic lecture/presentations for schools and other parent organizations. Among the workshops she offers is one based on Siblings Without Rivalry, and she brings to her work the perspective of having raised two differently-wired and one neurotypical kids herself. I’m really excited to share this conversation with you, and I hope to do more episodes on this topic.

Julie King has been educating and supporting parents since 1995. In addition to her work with individual parents and couples, she is a highly regarded parenting workshop leader and public presenter. Her most popular workshops, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, are based on the bestselling books of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and her own book, written with Joanna Faber.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

What the common challenges are for siblings in families with differently wired kids
Best practices for creating and maintaining family harmony
How to approach conflict resolution in a way that’s respectful, peaceful, and fosters growth
The power of the “reframe” conflicts as problems in need of solutions
How to handle “inequalities” in the amount of attention and/or resources one sibling may be receiving over another due to neurodifferences
Strategies for addressing one child’s anger about or resentment of their sibling
The key to finding solutions to sibling conflicts that get everyone’s needs met

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Julie King’s website
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 by Joanna Faber and Julie King
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen Facebook Page
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen (website)

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 330: Recognizing Less Obvious Autism with Donna Henderson & Sarah Wayland Jun 13, 2023

Show notes

Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland's new book Is This Autism is a game-changing labor of love in which they clarify the many ways that autism can present, particularly in people who camouflage to hide their autistic traits. Their book walks readers through the diagnostic criteria in a way that presents a much deeper understanding of how those criteria can, and should, be interpreted.

We cover a lot of ground in this extra-long episode, including why so many people, including women and girls and people in marginalized groups, are being misdiagnosed or simply “missed,” as well as why it’s critical that we look beyond the stereotypes of autism and gain a rich, nuanced understanding of the autistic experience.

Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage. Dr. Sarah Wayland is the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents, and co-founder of The Behavior Revolution.

Things you'll learn from this episode

Why there is an unwillingness to explore autism among many clinicians, as well as a lack of training for how to assess for it
How Sarah and Donna’s joint book came together and what their goal is in getting it out into the world
Why so many autistic people are being missed in a “traditional” diagnostic process
Donna and Sarah’s thoughts on why the number of people getting an autism diagnostic has increased recent years
Whether or not there is a place for “subjectivity” by an evaluator in the diagnostic process

Resources mentioned

Is This Autism? website
Dr. Donna Henderson’s website
Sarah Wayland’s website Guiding Exceptional Parents
Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland
Is This Autism? A Companion Guide for Diagnosing by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland (available July 2023)

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 113a: Psychologist Dr. Dawn Huebner on Helping Children Who Worry Too Much Jun 09, 2023

Show notes

I’m very excited to be talking with psychologist, parent coach, and prolific author Dawn Huebner. One of the coolest things about making this podcast is getting to continually connect with people whose work I’ve not only been following for years, but people whose work and books have literally impacted my family in a meaningful way. On top of that, I get to ask them everything I want to know. Hopefully I cover the same things that you would ask if you were sitting in my chair, too.

Today is one of those conversations, as we’ve owned and have been using Dawn’s books like What to Do When Your Temper Flares and What To Do When You Grumble Too Much for many years. Today Dawn and I are talking about her new book on anxiety called Outsmarting Worry: And Older Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Dawn has a gift for creating practical, doable, interactive “toolkits” to help feel empowered to take control of their emotional experience and make changes that can make the way they’re moving through life feel so much better. I hope you enjoy our conversation!

Dawn Huebner, PhD, is a Clinical Psychologist, Parent Coach and popular speaker, specializing in the many faces of childhood anxiety. Her newest book, Outsmarting Worry, maintains her distinctive voice while adding a layer of detail and sophistication appreciated by older children and teens.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

What is “normal” worry for children and how will we know if our child needs help
How we can help our children shift from being “irrational” with worry to calm
What does the process of helping a child learn to manage their own worry and anxiety actually look like?
How might some parents be inadvertently exacerbating their child’s worry?
What is one simple skill we can teach our child today to help him or her start to tackle worry?
How can we help a child who is resistant to taking steps to learn how to manage their anxiety?

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Dr. Dawn Huebner’s website
Outsmarting Worry by Dawn Huebner
What to Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner
What to Do When You Grumble Too Much by Dawn Huebner
What to Do When You Worry Too Muchby Dawn Huebner

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 329: Julie Bogart on Moving Through Writing Resistance for Differently Wired Kids Jun 06, 2023

Show notes

Today’s episode features an eye-opening conversation with Julie Bogart on how to help kids who have resistance around writing, which, I have a hunch, is something many of you out there listening are familiar with. Julie, the mastermind behind the Brave Writer program, the Brave Writer podcast, and really thoughtful content on all things kids, writing, learning with confidence, and critical thinking, is the perfect person to explore this topic with.

What I thought might be an interview that focused on the nuts and bolts of writing ended up being a very moving and inspiring lesson about self-expression and trust. Julie and I talked about how separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance to writing, how to break through barriers students may have when it comes to expressing themselves, and what Julie identifies as performance anxiety at the heart of a child’s struggles to getting starting putting words down on the page. Julie also gave some fantastic advice on how to change the script around writing resistance and where to get started for parents experiencing this at home.

Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting.

Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What Brave Writer is and how it helps families looking to support their children in becoming more confident writers
How separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance
Julie’s thoughts on support systems and available assistive technology and how they influence kids’ relationships with writing
How to break through the resistance when children feel daunted by the idea of expressing themselves
Why Julie believes performance anxiety is at the root of resistance when kids struggle to begin a writing task
Advice for parents raising kids who experience intense resistance around the writing process

Resources mentioned

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 328: Autism Level UP co-founders Amy Laurent & Jacquelyn Fede on Learning From Autistic Self-Advocates Apr 25, 2023

Show notes

To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence.

About my guests

Jac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its intense sensory needs by seeking high impact and highly resistant movements.

Amy is an OT, co-author of the SCERTS model (a developmental framework for supporting Autistic people), and the co-founder of Autism Level UP!. Amy enjoys supporting Autistic individuals and their partners, co-conspiring as an ally to Autistic people and creative design of useful and accessible tools and supports. Amy has many sensory needs that she meets through running, yoga, dance, paddle boarding and even resistance training as prescribed by her trainer, Jac.

Things you'll learn from this episode

The story behind Austin Level Up and how (and why) Amy and Jacquelyn created it
What the SCERTS model is and the ways in which Autism Level Up has reworked some of its aspects
What Autism Level Up is and how parents can engage with it
The difference between emotional regulation and energy regulation

Resources mentioned

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 327: Debbie Reber Reflects on 7 Years of Tilt Parenting & the Tilt "Revolution" (Solocast) Apr 18, 2023

Show notes

This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment.

So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next.

Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid.

Things you'll learn from this episode:

How the conversation, and terminology, surrounding neurodivergence and the “movement” has evolved over the past seven years
How I envisioned Tilt when I first developed it
Why I believe there is no such thing as “normal”
What I see as the most exciting developments in neuroscience developments and how they’ll impact differently wired children
How my personal life has changed since I started Tilt and the challenges I’ve encountered in doing the inner work
The five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over (and over) again in recent years

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 326: Educator Sam Young on Reimagining Socializing for Twice-Exceptional Students Apr 11, 2023

Show notes

The world has changed so very much in the past few years, including in no small way how our kids relate to other kids. I get a pang of nostalgia when I think about how I used to form friendships when I was younger in a more analog world, but I can also feel excitement about the many possibilities that have opened up for kids like ours to find their communities thanks to the technology they’re growing up with.

In this episode, Sam Young is going to talk with us about what a meaningful and healthy social life might look like for our differently wired kids, and how we can support them in the process. We explored how online communities have impacted socializing for neurodivergent kids, how parents can support kids in developing the skills to help with social anxiety, key elements to look for in ideal social environments for our differently-wired kiddos, and much more.

Sam Young MEd is a growth-minded, two-time Fulbright Scholar and Director of Young Scholars Academy, a strength-based, talent-focused virtual enrichment center that supports twice-exceptional, neurodivergent, and gifted students and their families. Sam is a neurodivergent educator who has ADHD. As an ADHD learner, he has a tremendous understanding of, experience in, and respect for all things related to neurodiverse education. Before founding Young Scholars Academy, Sam taught in a variety of capacities—including nearly a decade at Bridges Academy—at an array of programs in the US, Europe, and Asia.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What reimagining our kids’ social life really is about
How online communities have impacted our kid’s social lives
What Sam’s students wish their social lives looked like
How parents or adults in kids' lives can support them in building skills to help them with social anxiety
Sam’s thoughts on social skill groups and their efficacy
Expectations that parents have that might be getting in the way of their kid’s social lives
How parents can support a kid who is feeling alone to the point of their self-confidence and self-worth being affected

Resources mentioned:

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 325: Akilah Richards on Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work Apr 04, 2023

Show notes

I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.

I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation.

Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her work aimed at decolonizing parenting has resonated with people worldwide.

About my guest:

Akilah S. Richards is passionate about mindful partnerships and decolonizing parenting. She uses audio and written mediums to amplify the ways that unschooling in particular, is serving as healing grounds and liberation work for Black, non-Black Indigenous, and People of Color communities earthwide. Her celebrated unschooling podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and the numerous workshops and gatherings she has been part of, have garnered the attention of Forbes Magazine, The New York Times, Good Morning America, and most importantly, BIPOC families interested or living in more healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships. Her recent experiences within the intersection of privilege, parenting,and power are detailed in her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.

You'll learn:

What it means to be raising a “free child” and why it can be a threatening or uncomfortable concept for many people
What “mad question asking” is and how parents can use it to get unstuck
How unschooling is tied to decolonization
What “deschooling” is versus “homeschooling” and “unschooling”
What “confident autonomy” is and why Akilah considers that a hallmark of “success” in her children
How Akilah and her partner dealt with the barriers (social, cultural, and more) when they chose the unschooling path for their family
What a “savor complex” is and how it can transform the family experience

Resources mentioned:

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 324: A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy Mar 28, 2023

Show notes

For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox.

Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles.

We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem.

Linda K. Murphy MS, CCC-SLP is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects - Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language)
Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidance
Why declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulation
Common language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions)
How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and development
What we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communication
What to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”?

Resources mentioned

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting