Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Latest Episodes:

TPP 323: Educator and Coach Sandi Lerman on Neurodiversity and Developmental Trauma Mar 21, 2023

Show notes

Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma?

In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system.

About Sandi Lerman

Sandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with developmental trauma and professional graduate-level programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.

Sandi is an educator with over twenty years of classroom teaching experience in K-12, university, and adult education settings, has worked as a parent coach and educator since 2014, and has coordinated two state-wide government and non-profit parenting and community mental health education programs in Indiana.The creator of the HEART-STRONG Model™, Sandi uses trauma-informed coach training and somatic healing practices in her work with adults and those who parent, teach, and take care of children and teens, along with practical tools and strategies to support their growth and success.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What developmental trauma is
Whether neurodivergent kids are more likely to experience trauma or have their “little t” traumas impact them in more profound ways
Why two different kids might internalize the same experience differently
How are our kids' bodies hold on to trauma and what that looks like
How PDA (pathological demand avoidance) is connected to developmental trauma
Specific modalities are most helpful for recovery for kids who have experienced trauma
What the path toward healing from childhood trauma looks like

Resources mentioned for Neurodiversity and Developmental Trauma

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

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Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
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TPP 322: Gentle Parenting Expert Sarah Moore Talks About Peaceful Discipline Mar 14, 2023

Show notes

My guest today is Sarah Moore, the author of the new book Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior. Sarah explains what peaceful discipline is and walk us through its relationships with the traditional disciplinary tools many parents rely on when navigating tricky behavior, like time outs and consequences. Sarah also explained the power of using story teaching to help kids create positive coherent narratives for difficult situations, no matter how old they are, as a way to create the opportunity for learning and growth as opposed to experiences being internalized in harmful ways.

Sarah R. Moore is the author of “Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior,” and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She is a Master Trainer in conscious parenting and has training in child development, trauma recovery, and interpersonal neurobiology.

Things you'll learn from this episode:

How Sarah defines peaceful discipline
What the H.U.G. process is and how we can use it to support our child’s healthy emotional development
How to reframe our thinking about traditional discipline tools like timeouts (and shift to employing “time ins”)
How to effectively tap into natural consequences as a positive tool in our parenting
Why removing a device or toy isn't actually a natural consequence that works long term
What Story Teaching is and how we can use it as a tool to support our child in creating coherent positive narrative about difficult situations

Resources mentioned for:

Sarah Moore’s website, Dandelion Seeds
Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, and Better Behavior by Sarah R. Moore
Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Blog, Mini-Courses & Expert Interviews
Dandelion Seeds on Instagram
Dandelion Seeds on Facebook
Dandelion Seeds on YouTube
Dandelion Seeds on Twitter
Sign up at Sarah’s website for one free mini-course (more than 40 topics available) and a selection of expert interviews

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 321: Chris Balme on How Parents Can Navigate the Tricky Middle School Years Mar 07, 2023

Show notes

Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn’t feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we’re looking for.

In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love.

Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being.

Things you'll learn from this episode

Why Chris believes the middle school years are magical
What the three stages of identity development for middle school students are how kids may progress through them
What individuation is and how to navigate it with your children
Advice for parents regarding scaffolding in a way that supports their child’s development
How to navigate a child breaking our trust
What companioning is and how to do that for our kids

Resources mentioned

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 009a: 11-Year-Old Asher and Debbie on the Importance of Morning Routines Mar 03, 2023

Show notes

In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher about the new morning routine we began doing in January 2016.

The routine is based on author and speaker Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Because I’m always looking for ways to support Asher in developing more self-awareness, we agreed to start off the New Year trying out a new routine.

In this episode, Asher walks listeners through what the new 6-step morning routine—consisting of meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling—looks like, and explains its impact, as well as why Asher thinks other kids would benefit.

Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast.

Things you'll learn from the episode:

How implementing a purposeful morning routine such as the one highlighted in Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning has the potential to positively impact a child’s day
The benefits for children on beginning each day by focusing on presence, positivity, and intention
Asher’s thoughts on whether other kids could benefit from a new morning routine like the one he’s doing
How meaningful a change can be when a child is self-motivated by their own personal discoveries about the benefits of a new habit

Resources mentioned:

The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod
Pat Flynn’s podcast, Smart Passive Income
Kerbal Space Program, Asher’s favorite online game (at the moment)
Asher and Debbie’s visualization soundtrack: Enya’s Caribbean Blue, Charles Atlas’ The Snow Before Us, and Badly Drawn Boy’s I Love NYE

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 320: Dr. Karen Wilson on How (and When) to Talk to Kids About Their Diagnoses Feb 28, 2023

Show notes

I know that there are concerns among many families that their child’s self-esteem can be negatively impacted by a label, or that others, including teachers may treat a child differently if they know they have one or more diagnoses, especially because of the stigma associated with neurodifferences. So this is what Dr. Karen Wilson and I get into — demystifying the process and offering suggestions for approaching these important conversations.

In our conversation, Karen breaks down the kind of language we can use when talking with kids about their diagnosis, as well as how that conversation will likely continue to evolve as our kids get older. We also talked about how to navigate this process with a child or teen who is resistant to labels, why it’s critical that we have all of these conversations from a foundation of prioritizing and recognizing strengths. and how to have this conversation in a household with neurotypical siblings.

Dr. Karen Wilson is a Clinical Neuropsychologist, Director of West LA Neuropsychology, PC, the founder of ChildNEXUS.com, and the host of the Diverse Thinking · Different Learning podcast. She specializes in the assessment of neurodevelopmental disorders in children and adolescents, and she has extensive experience evaluating children and adults who present with neurological, medical and psychiatric disorders.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What a diagnosis actually is and what it can mean to a family
How to balance communication surrounding your child’s areas of strengths and weaknesses so the emphasis is not on challenges
What types of language to use when talking with your kids about their diagnoses, and how to evolve language as kids get older
How to navigate talking with children and teens about their neurodifferences if they’re resistant to labels or being “otherized”
Best practices for talking about diagnoses in households with neurotypical siblings
How to give kids the tools and empowerment they need to ultimately feel confident navigating situations in their lives where they are judged by their diagnosis and related stigma

Resources mentioned

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 319: Dr. Gail Post on the Gifted Parenting Journey and Support for Families of Gifted Children Feb 21, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, we are diving in to the realities of parenting gifted and 2e kids. Gail and I talked about the common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids experience as part of their journey, why it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to celebrate our child’s accomplishments with others and how that impacts our kids and us, and how to handle our own expectations and pressures we may experience because of our child’s unique learning profile. We also explore what many families of gifted kids experience as a complicated relation with the word “potential,” as well as how we as parents can manage our own uncomfortable emotions that may arise in parenting our kids, including anxiety, envy, and guilt.

Gail Post, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist, parenting coach and consultant, workshop leader, and writer. She is also a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine In practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy with a focus on the needs of the intellectually and musically gifted and twice-exceptional, parenting coaching and workshops, and consultation with educators and psychotherapists. Dr. Post is the parent of two gifted young adults and served as co-chair of a gifted parents advocacy group when her children were in school. Her writing includes articles, several book chapters, and a long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges. Her new book, The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children, combines research, theory, and clinical experience, and extends her advocacy efforts to address the needs of parents of gifted children.

Things you'll learn from this episode

The common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids may experience as part of their journey
Why parents of gifted kids feel intense pressure surrounding their child’s educational path and how that can negatively impact families
Why the word “potential” is a loaded one in families with gifted and 2e kids, and how parents can change their relationship with this concept
Why anxiety is common amongst parents raising gifted or 2e kids
The unique challenges BIPOC parents raising gifted kids face
Why self-awareness is the road map to attuned parenting when raising gifted and 2e kids

Resources mentioned

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 004a: Psychologist Kate Berger on What Mindfulness Can Do for Kids Feb 17, 2023

Show notes

For this episode, I sit down with Kate Berger, a child and adolescent psychologist, Mindfulness instructor, and owner of the Netherlands-based therapy practice, Expat Kids’ Club, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness in kids and ideas for how to begin weaving mindfulness into our families’ lives.

Kate is heavily engaged in the movement to bring mindfulness into schools and other children’s communities, and is a big believer in the benefits of mindfulness in kids, especially with regards to emotional and mental well-being, both in school and in their inner lives.

Kate Berger, MSc is a child and adolescent psychologist, consultant, and the founder of The Expat Kids Club which has provided counsel to hundreds of youngsters and, their families, as well as major corporations, from the U.K., Germany, Singapore, and the U.S. Kate is also the Co-Chair & Co-Founder of the Families In Global Transition affiliate in The Netherlands, and is a dedicated mindfulness meditation practitioner and certified instructor who teaches mindfulness to young people through the collaborative Mindfulness International.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

What mindfulness actually is
Why developing a mindfulness practice is a natural fit for children
How mindfulness can specifically benefit differently-wired kids
How mindfulness can support a parent in especially intense or difficult moments
Tips and ideas for introducing, encouraging, and supporting a mindfulness practice in your family

Resources mentioned for Mindfulness for Kids

Kate Berger’s practice The Expat Kids’ Club
Mindfulness in Schools Project
Mindful Schools
MindUP Foundation
Sitting Still Like a Frog (book)
Headspace mindfulness app (iTunes)
“When Mindfulness Meets the Classroom” (The Atlantic Article)
Free mindfulness course through Future Learn

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 318: What Parents Need to Know about the IEP Process, with Therapist Beth Liesenfeld Feb 14, 2023

Show notes

If you are a parent of a neurodivergent kid with a diagnosed learning disability, you likely have had experience with Individualized Education Plans, otherwise known as IEPs. And if this is you, my hunch is you have some feelings about IEPs and the whole process — the stresses, the unknowns, the fact that it might feel like you have to understand a completely different language just to get the services and supports your child needs and deserves in schools.

I invited occupational therapist Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab to answer your questions around how parents can better prepare for an IEP meeting, what actually makes a good IEP, and how we can go about making changes on an IEP if we realize the accommodations aren’t being effective or if a school isn’t following through in a way the IEP outlines.

Beth is an incredibly knowledgeable expert on the subject of IEPs, and as you’ll hear, she’s truly passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff. Through her school experience, Beth saw inequity in parents' ability to advocate for a quality IEP for their child and now teaches parents a 4-step process to effectively advocate for their children within the schools through online workshops and interactive, supportive online courses.

Beth Liesenfeld, MOT, OTR/L is an occupational therapist passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff! Her company, The IEP Lab, provides online workshops and courses as well as produces The Parent IEP Lab Podcast.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What parents actually need to know before they go into an IEP meeting
The criteria for designing an effective and supportive IEP
The intention behind the goals written into any IEP, and how to create goals that lead to hoped for outcomes
What parents can do if their children’s school doesn’t follow through on the accommodations provided in their child’s IEP
How to include accommodations for students who are struggling with school refusal and therefore may not be meeting attendance requirements
What the IDEA says about seeking an IEP for twice-exceptional children who may be performing “adequately” but aren’t reaching their potential

Resources mentioned for the IEP Process

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 001a: Margaret Webb on Parenting the Child You Didn't Expect When You Were Expecting Feb 10, 2023

Show notes

Parent coach Margaret Webb believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits.

Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

How to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive
What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like
How the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challenges
The benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kids
What is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experience
The simple act with huge benefits: deep breaths
How taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kids

Resources mentioned for Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TPP 317: A Conversation About Autistic Burnout with Neurodivergent Support Specialist Kristy Forbes Feb 07, 2023

Show notes

I’m honored to kick off the season with a powerful conversation about autistic burnout with autism and neurodiversity support specialist, Kristy Forbes. Kristy and I talk about what exactly autistic burnout is and how it presents, why “deep rest” is critical for someone experiencing autistic burnout, and how autistic burnout is differentiated from mood disorders or depression. We also talk frankly about the challenges of seeing burnout in autistic children through a neuronormative lens, and how that may lead to therapies and strategies that may be the opposite of what a child in autistic burnout actually needs.

Kristy Forbes is an Australian-based autism & neurodiversity support specialist with experience working with clients both nationally and internationally. This includes neurodivergent people and their families; and professionals who wish to support them, such as educators, psychologists, pediatricians, allied health professionals, support workers and integration aides.

Kristy is formally identified autistic, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) as well as being a parent to four neurodivergent children.
Things you'll learn from this episode

What autistic burnout is and how it's different from other types of burnout
How mental health challenges might be misinterpreted in autistic burnout treatment
How to support young people, adolescents, and children in recognizing the value of taking pause and resting
Clues to help parents have a better understanding of what their child is struggling with
Examples of what deep rest might look like for children and young people
How to recognize when your child is starting to emerge from burnout

Resources mentioned for Autistic Burnout