Freedom from Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#528 Journey Of Attachment: Design a Real Fairy Tale Nov 24, 2020

Show notes

Have you ever tried to manufacture a fairy tale? In it, you dream of being rescued by your prince or princess. It’s a fantasy love story that you play out in real life, except he/she is more like a villain in a thriller novel or the antagonist of a dark comedy. But no matter… you’ll endure the pain you’re in while telling yourself you’re living in a fairy tale. Playing the victim feels safe and comforting, but of course you don’t really see your character as a victim because your need to cling to a fantasy is stronger than your willingness to see reality. Fantasies are created when you can’t handle your own feelings of disappointment, shame, rejection, etc. It’s a way of avoiding reality, but it comes at a price: pain. And it is a pain you are choosing. You may not even notice, however, because you have grown accustomed to it. In this week’s episode you’ll learn how to be your own rescuer so you can rewrite your story into something that matches reality. And guess what? You can still have your happy ending! A REAL happy ending, not a manufactured one. Wisdom Nugget (#wisdomnugget) You are better than where you are. Listen for the voice inside who knows you are the hero or heroine… and write that story! Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#527 I Feel Lost Without My Partner... It's Like I Don't Even Know Myself Nov 20, 2020

Show notes

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of feeling like an outcast, feeling lost without your partner, and self-responsibility. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#526 Journey of Attachment: If I’m Perfect, You Won’t Leave Nov 17, 2020

Show notes

How often do your edit yourself in a relationship so you won’t be kicked to the curb? You’re afraid of asking for what you need, or expressing how you feel because you’re afraid it will be too much to handle. You imagine your mate looking at you like a crazy person, then turning around and leaving. Or, if they stay, you think they will totally shut down and you will feel alone. If you have found yourself in this situation, why are you so focused on the other person’s reaction, trying to anticipate what they might do, rather than looking inside at your own feelings? Why does he/she matter more than you do? When you walk on eggshells and accept breadcrumbs for fear of being abandoned, you are disowning parts of yourself. Anger and resentment often build up because your “perfect” behavior isn’t being recognized and appreciated. It’s like looking for water in a desert; you will never find a healthy relationship this way. In this episode, we’ll look at these self-defeating actions and why you choose them instead of honoring and valuing yourself. It comes from a place of fear, so the first step is understanding what is going on and why you are allowing it to happen—without judgment. This is about acceptance and stopping the struggle so you can do the deeper work of valuing yourself and speaking your truth… no matter what the other person does. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#525 I’m Putting in a Lot of Work Into My Relationship but My Partner Isn’t Nov 13, 2020

Show notes

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of detaching from a long-distance relationship, onesided relationships, and oversharing. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#524 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Monica Berg Nov 11, 2020

Show notes

Monica Berg was a precocious kid, having tea parties with God at the age of three. As she grew up, she lost that spiritual connection, until she found the kabbalah at age 17 and reconnected with that part of herself. She saw people around her chasing happiness and not finding it, so she looked to the kabbalah for guidance down a different path. On her journey, Monica discovered the importance of emotions, and how they are here to tell us something about ourselves. Emotions are also a form of energy that can be transformed into strength, which she drew upon during the most challenging events in her life: an uncle being diagnosed with schizophrenia, an eating disorder, and a son with Down’s Syndrome. The day she looked in the mirror and saw the skeleton she had become, realizing what she had done to herself, Monica started journaling about her shame and disappointment. Being kind to herself followed. When her son was born, she decided to lean all the way into embracing the unknown. She chose a proactive life instead of a reactive one, believing she alone was responsible for the quality of her life. Today, this self-proclaimed “change junkie” is an international speaker, spiritual thought leader and author of two books. She draws from the kabbalah and her personal experiences to remind us of our extraordinary potential… and pushes us onward. “Appreciate the opposition. It’s a gift.” --Monica Berg You can learn more about Monica at: Website: https://rethinklife.today/ Instagram: @monicaberg74 Facebook: @monicaberg74 Twitter: @monicaberg74 Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#523 Journey of Attachment: Never Beg to be Loved (REBROADCAST) Nov 10, 2020

Show notes

This podcast title came from a meme that really resonated with me, “Never beg to be loved.” While it may not sound like something you would do, I see it quite often in insecurely attached relationships (it never happens in healthy relationships). Begging to be loved results from feeling misunderstood or not properly seen, and being so invested in the relationship that you need your partner to be in the same place you are. Your world revolves around him/her, and you’re terrified of not finding that again with someone else. The feeling is desperate and painful; like you might die if your partner leaves. And on top of your fear of loss is a big ol’ layer of shame. If anyone knew how you were acting in order to keep your partner, you would die all over again. This also happens a lot with break-ups. Your partner says it’s over, which sends you into a tail spin. You beg him/her to stay because when you look at the future, all you see is pain. The only thing you believe will ease that pain is to convince your partner it’s a mistake, and you’ll do whatever it takes to demonstrate how awesome and amazing you are. If you’ve ever been on the other side of this, you know it doesn’t matter what your partner says or does. When you’re done, you’re done. When you beg to be loved, it comes from an attached place of being chosen rather than choosing—a powerless position. Let me tell you something: there is NOTHING so flawed about you that you need to beg someone to love you. Nothing. Zilch. Believing that on an emotional level, however, can be challenging because your negative beliefs show up telling you you’re not good enough, not worthy of love, etc. So instead of fighting it, ride that emotional wave and accept where you are. Accept the shame and really FEEL it. Then, look deeper at what you’re afraid of losing. What do you think you can only get from this one person? Whatever that is, give it to yourself. When you’re filled up emotionally, you will never have to beg to be loved; that love will already exist inside. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#522 My New Relationship Is Awesome... But I'm Feeling So Anxious! Nov 06, 2020

Show notes

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of judging family for their actions, having anxiety in a new relationship, and feeling insecure when your partner meets friends. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#521 Journey Of Attachment: But I’m Too Much! Nov 03, 2020

Show notes

I used to dim my light in relationships, believing I was too much: too strong, too masculine, too overbearing, too intimidating. It all went back to childhood, as these negative beliefs usually do. Instead of being myself, I tried to exude who I thought I needed to be. Not too much, not too little… jussssst right. Like Goldilocks. What an exhausting dance, not to mention inauthentic. Even with all that effort, I never did feel like I could get it right. But the point isn’t to get it “right.” The point is to connect with someone who thinks you are awesome exactly as you are. Your perceived flaws or “too muchness” is what someone else will be drawn to. Overcompensating for what you fear is too much (or even too little) stems from a fear of rejection. And it’s old. If your mom or dad used to say, “No one will like you if you do X,” or “You’re too much—who will ever be able to handle that?” it sticks with you. It can erode your sense of value so you start to believe that who you are is unlovable. But walking on eggshells does not equal true love. It is a barrier to intimacy and connection. So how do you live into your true self? That’s the topic of this week’s episode where I’ll challenge you to look at what you hold back from doing or saying. Once you identify where you aren’t being your authentic self, you can work on accepting those parts of yourself. Then, instead of contorting yourself into a not-too-much/not-too-little mold, you’ll let your light shine brightly and attract someone who falls in love with THAT! Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#520 Why Do You Keep Choosing Against Yourself? Oct 30, 2020

Show notes

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of fear of loss, the drama triangle, and choosing against yourself. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#519 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Melanie Tonia Evans Oct 28, 2020

Show notes

Melanie Tonia Evans had done a lot of personal development work, believing she had things figured out. It wasn’t until she married a narcissist, and had a subsequent psychotic break, that she was confronted with everything she hadn’t healed within herself. She thought he was the love of her life when they met—his delightful qualities making up for the lies, violence and other red flags she dismissed as outliers. Eventually, this smart, self-aware woman was hooked. He was her heroin addiction, and after about five years of marriage, she hit bottom. Suicidal and weighing less than 80 lbs., Melanie suffered a psychotic adrenal breakdown that she was told she would never fully recover from. Doctors said she would need three anti-psychotic drugs just to function. “You can’t think your way out of extreme trauma.” –Melanie Tonia Evans In this episode of “Moving On,” you’ll learn about the blinding clarity Melanie experienced shortly after her breakdown, where she saw her husband as a mirror for everything she hadn’t healed. She finally acknowledged her inner self and realized none of it was about him. She could heal herself, but she had to do it from the inside. Melanie never took those anti-psychotic drugs, and her revolutionary recovery process led to the creation of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which she runs today. Melanie’s work has touched the lives of over 15 million people from more than 100 countries, and her abuse recovery system is recommended by doctors, psychologists, therapists and renowned relationship experts from all over the world. You can find Melanie at: melanietoniaevans.com Instagram - @MelanieToniaEvans Facebook - @MelToniaEvans YouTube - youtube.com/user/MelanieToniaEvans Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

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