Fostering Voices Podcast

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Kids & Family
**Fostering Voices Podcast**

A Foster Arizona podcast featuring Authentic Conversations with Real People talking all things Foster Care and beyond. Hosted by Kim and Brian Vehon.

Latest Episodes:

Episode 67: Mindset of a Detective when Fostering Sep 14, 2019

Show notes

This week's episode continues our conversation on how to really connect with your child.

Some food for thought: study your child(ren), and don't take everything they do so personally!!

Good word of the Day:

Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

Isaiah 49:13

God has compassion on us, and we are to have compassion on others.

Esther Wojcicki wrote this great article, talking about the importance of teaching our kids compassion.

She had this great quote: "Kids are growing up feeling like they're the center of the universe. As young adults, they're not only lacking grit and independence; they're wholly unprepared to take on causes that could make the world a better place."

So let's all work at raising compassionate youth!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Episode 66: To Know and Love Your Foster Kids Sep 07, 2019

Show notes

This week's episode features an interview with Kara Lackey, who with her husband, Jason, created the Know and Love Quiz! This quiz is a FREE resource for families to get to know and love their kids better, and to meet each child's unique needs. Although they started off on this journey to help themselves as parents, they instantly saw how great this would be for foster families, who may not know the history of the children who come into their homes - but they can still learn how to best speak to these kids' hearts.

Know and Love

Visit knowandlove.com to do a free assessment of your kids and their unique personalities! This website is full of amazing resources to help you understand the different ways that your children are wired, and how you can talk to them, and interact with them, in a way that they feel known and loved!

This is a resource that is designed to help parents feel like they have some tools in their "emotional first aid kits" to help them understand their kids better. We as parents often, and unknowingly, shame our children - because we simply do not understand their behaviors.

More Resources for Parents

Some other tools we think will be very helpful are The Connected Child, and The Whole Brain Child. Both are amazing books that help you to look at your children in a new light. Especially with having foster children in your home - we don't know everything they have been through, but we can know how to help them to deal with their baggage, and to help carry that burden with them. These are all tools that will help your kids to understand how to express themselves better now - and that will benefit them greatly into adulthood.

The (Good) Word of the Day

"We create a space for creative, constructive interaction in our home, where most of our energy goes towards maintaining awareness of where shame is hiding. Jesus can overcome shame when it is brought to the light.

-Lackey Family Motto

Jason and Kara have been on a journey to punch shame in the face! They have chosen to 'swim towards' the things that have brought them shame - in their finances, in the marriage, in their personal health journeys. They have done HARD things, and continue to do so, with a huge heart to help others on their journeys as well.

Shame wants to tell us that we are alone. But we are not. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." There are so many out there who are suffering with the same things that you are! Bring your shame to the light, and you will find others who are struggling with the same things!

Romans 10:11 says that "anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame" , so let us, as a family of believers live confidently and lovingly with one another.

Thank you Kara, and Jason, for all the great work you guys have done, and continue to do for parents - especially foster parents. We hope that you enjoy this episode!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

You can find Kara at KaraLackey on Instagram, and at Know and Love on Instagram , and on Facebook. J

We missed Chris this week, but you can connect with him on facebook.

Connect with us at Fostering Voices on Instagram

And with Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 65: Connecting With Your Children Pt. 1 Aug 31, 2019

Show notes

This week's episode is dedicated Chapter 1 of 'The Connected Child' by Dr. Karyn Purvis. This is a great book for all parents, but it is dedicated to the needs of kids who have come from hard places - so it is specifically for foster and adoptive parents. Over the course of Season 4, we will be going over different ideas from this amazing book.

This week we talked about Corrective vs Connective Behavior. The goal is to always connect with your children! They often need to connect, before they can understand what you want to correct.

Dr. Purvis also talked about the need to make a lifestyle commitment when choosing to foster and/or adopt. Kids need time to connect, and if your family is so busy running from one thing to another - there is no time to connect! SO, make time to connect with your family!

One great way to connect is by playing games together as a whole family. Our family has recently started playing the Heads Up game. Download it on your iPhone or Android device. It's a great game for all ages!

We also talked about life with 9 people in the house, so tune in to hear more about that!

The (Good) Word of the Day:

As for me, I call to God, and the Lord saves me.

Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.

Psalm 55:16-17

Remember the perspective of kids in need. They are just kids, and they need simple things, and we can all play a role in providing for their needs.

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 64: Will Fostering Damage My Bio Children? Aug 24, 2019

Show notes

We often get this question from concerned parents - "Will fostering be harmful to my bio kids?" And it's a legit question. There are bad situations out there where some foster families have experienced pain and hardship with their bio kids, because of a situation that occurred while fostering. So yes, there is always a possibility of that. But there is a possibility that living a totally safe and sheltered life could still possibly cause pain and hardship for your children.

This week, we invited our precious pre-teen son, Topher, to join us on the podcast! He shares his experiences and input on foster care, which he has been involved with since he was 6 years old. We are incredibly proud of him, as well as all of our kids! You can listen to Episode 49, where our eldest - Lily, shared her views on being a foster sibling.

We welcomed our new foster placements into our home this week, so we are officially a family of 9! For now! But we are so thankful for everyone who has supported us, and who continues to pray for us. Keep em coming, cause we sure need em.

Our girls came to us from a group home - which we have never experienced this before. For those who are wanting foster children who are living in congregate care (which is a great idea!), just know there is a LOT of waiting, and a lot of paperwork that needs to be signed by different people.

Also, if your foster placements are coming from a group home, it's a great idea to try to get a visit in before they come to live with you, so that you guys can meet, and so that you can prepare more for the children before their arrival. We were grateful to learn what size clothes and shoes our kids wear, and even what kinds of toys and snacks and meals they enjoyed, just so we could have those things in advance. And another thing that came up was the fact that the girls did NOT have anything to move all of their belongings in. To avoid any potential of things being moved around in TRASH BAGS, we bought these big storage totes at Walmart for less than $10, and they came in Unicorn and Mermaid styles - which the girls love!

The Good Word of the Day:

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Philippians 4:5-6

This is actually Topher's life verse, and we think it is such a great one for everyone to remember! God loves us, he is near, we need not fear or be anxious about anything.

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 64: Will Fostering Damage My Bio Children? Aug 24, 2019

Show notes

The Good Word of the Day:

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Philippians 4:5-6

This is actually Topher's life verse, and we think it is such a great one for everyone to remember! God loves us, he is near, we need not fear or be anxious about anything.

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 63: Encouragement for Foster Families Aug 17, 2019

Show notes

This week we just want to encourage our fellow foster families out there!

Encouragement 1:

Sometimes your family, and even friends, may not be on board with your journey in foster care. You aren't alone in this! We have run into different people who have not been supportive of our choices. That's ok! We are still very thankful for the people who continue to walk by us! And we are here to walk alongside YOU!

Encouragement 2:

If you are in need of supplies - like clothes, beds, cribs, mattresses, birthday presents - there are resources out there for you! For Free!

Check out your local Facebook Groups for foster and adoptive parents. We get lots of great stuff from various groups we are in. Also, we will throw out requests on our personal Facebook pages and we have gotten great things donated like bunk beds, an amazing trumpet, clothes, etc. Don't be afraid to ask others for help!

We also just discovered Arizona Helping Hands, and they are amazing! Check them out if you are in need of anything!

Encouragement 3:

Change your mindset if you are in a rut feeling like you are stuck in a cycle of dislike, head-butting, with someone in your family (or social circle) - you may need to change your attitude towards them.

We read 'The Connected Child' which has so many great tips to connect with your children. Open hand touch has been a great one for us and our kids.

Good Word of the Day:

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."

Proverbs 29:25

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 62: Interview with Robert Watson Aug 10, 2019

Show notes

This week we are happy to have an interview with Robert Watson, pastor, and newly published author! He wrote 'Upside Down Crown' which is now available on Kindle and at most major bookstores.

The premise of the book is based on the only sermon that Jesus ever preached - which is the Sermon on the Mount (found in Matthew 5-7). There are so many lessons in it, and once applied to our lives, we find that we have peace and joy, instead of anxiety and disappointment.

You may remember that Robert was also on episode 31, where he talked about porn and sex, and this topic is also covered in this book, as Jesus refers to sexual purity in his sermon. This is such an important conversation to have with your pre-teen and older kids, and spouse! We know that you guys already know that, as episode 31 is in the top 3 most-listened to episodes we have!

So, we encourage all of you to look at your heart, and not just your behavior. Do you just cheer Jesus on, but then refuse to get your hands dirty and join in on what he is calling you to? And are you doing great things for him, or for yourself?

Good Word of the Day:

Then I saw "a new heaven and a new earth," for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."5 He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

-Revelation 21:1-5

This is another great reminder that as Christians, we are living for more than we can see here on earth. Sometimes it is too easy to trust Jesus with ALL OF ETERNITY, yet we refuse to trust him with simple things like relationships, finances, struggles, etc. God is Lord of all! And for all time. Salvation is a past, present, and future action. We are invited to receive the Lord's salvation today and every day!

You've Been Served:

- Most of our service actions involved LISTENING, and empathizing! We don't have to have the right words to say, but we do all have the right ears to listen! So let's listen to each other, hear each other, and serve one another in this simple way!

Thanks for joining us for another episode of our podcast. We hope you have an amazing week this week with your families!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 61: How To Rest Between Foster Placements Aug 03, 2019

Show notes

Season 4 is here, and we are so excited to bring you 20 brand new episodes!

This week we talk about what our insane summer looked like, as we took 8 weeks off of the podcast.

It started with a marriage retreat with Don and Renee Worcester, who we have mentioned before. They are an amazing couple who really connect with people, and can encourage them in such a profound way. You can learn more about them on their website. We will share more about what we learned in an episode dedicated to the retreat!

Then we went to Thailand! But before that, we had to get new passports for 2 of our kids, because we lost their old ones (as in the new passports we renewed last year!) After countless phone calls to the national passport office, we went down to Tucson to visit the Western Passport Center, and you can go there too, to find out if you are eligible to get your passports made THAT DAY. You have to make an appointment and have all the correct documents. But these fine folks, who have my heart forever, were able to get us new passports - 12 hours before we left for Thailand!

Chris got upset with me during this episode for calling people 'incompetent', and now I owe him $1 for not speaking 'Words of Life' in our home. That's a new thing we started in our home, to help combat negative self talk, as well as negative talk and thinking about others as well.

After Thailand, Chris and I went to Cabo, Mexico for a work retreat with Showit. Basically, Showit is the BEST website platform for photographers, creative entrepreneurs, small businesses, people who need websites. We are SO thankful to be a part of the Showit team, and so thankful that our team building exercises happened at an all-inclusive resort.

Then I just got back from Minnesota this week (the day we recorded this podcast) after a work trip. We sponsored an event that was put on by Honeybook and the Rising Tide Society, and it was absolutely amazing. If you are a creative entrepreneur, you need to know about these two companies as well!

We are officially back on the list, and we have placement for two sisters! Exactly what we asked for! BUT there was an issue with our license, and so we will probably get to meet them next week. Oh red tape in foster care! It happens though, and you have to make the best of it. So right now, we are resting, and doing whatever we can to prepare for their arrival!

We ended up buying a 15 passenger van (kinda by accident). This is one way that we are preparing for life with 9 people in the house, though I have no intentions of filling it...

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." - Hebrews 13:16

This season, we are doing something new: we will talk about how we served or were served Because God loves to see sacrifice and service. Hopefully this will encourage all of us to find different ways to serve others around us, because that is the best form of self care out there! Serving others!

We hope you enjoy this episode, and we are so very thankful for all of you listeners! Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions, or if you need people in your village to support you through prayer and encouragement! We are here for YOU!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 60: Garbage bag suitcases Jun 01, 2019

Show notes

This is the last episode of Season 3!

We do a brief book review on 'Garbage Bag Suitcase' by Shenandoah Chefalo. It's a memoir of Shenandoah's life - filled with difficult years with her mother and a man she thought was her father, and difficult years in foster care, and aging out of the system. This book is Heavy, and made Jihae feel a bit depressed for a day or two. BUT, it's not all depressing.

Shenandoah shares her thoughts on how to improve the lives of kids in care, and they include boarding schools (like the Milton Hershey School and The Crossnore School), and fostering the whole family - mostly moms who are losing their kids to the system.

Another highlight of reading this memoir was seeing a successful woman who overcame the odds. The children in care are not doomed to be like their parents. Mental illness is not a definitive life sentence for the next generation, neither is drug addiction, or abuse, or any of the things that we are afraid that kids are 'definitely' going to be like.

Chris mentioned this teen, Hunter Beaton, from Texas who has started this company that provides great bags for children in foster care.

There are so many companies that you can support if you google 'garbage bags for foster kids' or look on social media.

The (Good) Word of the Day

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

- Proverbs 16:24

Shenandoah had SO FEW people who spoke any words of hope or love to her in her first 20 years of life. We all need to speak words of kindness and hope to those around us - whether they are adults or children, whether they are foster kids, or kids you have borne.

Lightbulb moments:

Yay for the Toronto Raptors making it to the NBA Finals for the first time in history!

Foster care and adoption are HARD! Waiting, not knowing, caring, saying bye - IT'S ALL HARD! But it's all worth it! So, keep on keeping on fellow foster and adoptive friends.

Thanks SO MUCH for your support this season, friends! We will be back at the end of July with season 4!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Episode 59: Recruiting, Developing, and Sustaining Foster Families May 25, 2019

Show notes

This week we have a great interview with the lovely Lindsey Stamm, the Operations manager at Arizona127.

What is Arizona127?

This is an AMAZING organization that exists to recruit, develop, and sustain foster family through training and events. They want to help foster children, and support the families who foster them.

Follow them on Instagram to stay up to date on their trainings and events! (Lindsey manages this account and she does an amazing job!)

For those who choose not to be a foster family, they recommend checking out these important ways of getting involved:

- becoming a CASA (court appointed special advocate) which requires you to take a polygraph test and training. But well worth the time as you get to spend time with children in care, and be a voice for them in their case!

- becoming a Mentor through Arizonans for Children, which requires 2 hours a week of your time. They also have tutoring and craft volunteer options available!

The (Good) Word of the Day

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

- Psalm 73: 25-26

What a great and encouraging word! We talked about how broken this world is, and the foster care system especially. But, when God is our hope and our portion - we can take heart and have peace.

Lightbulb Moments:

- At a TBRI training, Lindsey learned, and then reminded us that Hydration and Glucose levels are of the utmost importance and can greatly affect your child's (and your) attitude and disposition. Check your child's urine color to see if they are hydrated enough!

- Sesame Street introduced a new muppet who is in Foster Care! And just in time for Foster Care Awareness month! It is so important for people to see others who represent them well in media. Last year, when Crazy Rich Asians came out, the Asian community was elated to see a full cast of people who looked just like them. There is a slew of movies and tv shows out there that have foster children in them, and we are so thankful that Instant Family is one of them, and now Sesame Street is too!

- Make sure to check if you are at an Urgent Care or an Emergency Room. The difference is significant in terms of co-pay, and someone who hosts this podcast may have accidentally gone to an emergency room this week, only to be told he was constipated.

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of our podcast!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

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