Fostering Voices Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 75: Fostering Love in North Carolina Nov 09, 2019

Show notes

This week's episode is brought to you straight from the Showit United conference, on our very short lunch break! I met Devin and Kathryn Robinson last year at this conference for photographers, and have had the pleasure of watching their journey from afar via Instagram.

The Robinsons have been married for 7 years, full-time professional photographers for 4 years, and run an amazingly beautiful business called Anchor & Veil. They have been fostering for 7 months now, and have an 8 year old, 2 year old, and a 1 year old. They share very candidly, the highs and lows of their foster care journey.

Big thanks to:

- ProLink Fence in North Carolina for providing the Robinsons with an INCREDIBLE new fence for their house.

- Children's Home Society is the agency that the Robinsons are licensed through, and they are so thankful for them.

- Big shout out to Hickory Grove Baptist Church for their kindness and care for the Robinsons!

Everyone can play a role in foster care, and we are thankful for the role all of these people have played in the Robinson's journey!

Good Word of the Day

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,a]">[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

-James 1:2-4

What a beautiful mindset that we need all of our trials to prepare us and make us complete!

If you want to connect:

Kathryn on Instagram

Anchor and Veil on Instagram

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Episode 75: Fostering Love in North Carolina Nov 09, 2019

Show notes

Big thanks to:

- ProLink Fence in North Carolina for providing the Robinsons with an INCREDIBLE new fence for their house.

- Children's Home Society is the agency that the Robinsons are licensed through, and they are so thankful for them.

- Big shout out to Hickory Grove Baptist Church for their kindness and care for the Robinsons!

Everyone can play a role in foster care, and we are thankful for the role all of these people have played in the Robinson's journey!

Good Word of the Day

-James 1:2-4

What a beautiful mindset that we need all of our trials to prepare us and make us complete!

If you want to connect:

Kathryn on Instagram

Anchor and Veil on Instagram

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 74: Readers Are Leaders Nov 02, 2019

Show notes

This week's episode is dedicated to the books we've read this year. We made goals to read more books this year, and we did! Jihae has a goal of 19 for 2019, and Chris has already surpassed that, and Jihae just has 1 more to go.

We apologize in advance for the audio issues. Not sure what happened, but it doesn't sound great, and we are sorry about that! 74 episodes in and we still aren't audio/technical wizards. We are actually replacing the original audio file, so if you listened to it before Friday the 8th of November, then you got the super crummy version of this episode. We are working on all these things!

So, here is Chris' list of books that he read. The asterisk denotes that Jihae also read that book:

Chris' books from 2019:

1- For Men Only- Jeff Feldhaun *

2 Team of Teams- General Stan McChrystal

3- Millionaire Next Door- Thomas J Stanley

4- Everyday millionaire - Chris Hogan

(We mentioned "Thou Shalt Prosper" by Daniel Lapin, a great book we both read last year.)

5- You Can't Make This Up- by Kevin Hart * And one of our FAVORITE books from this year! Worth the listen, as Kevin narrates it on Audible.

6- Tech Wise Family by Andy Crouch * Very good read!

7- 12 rules for life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B Peterson *

8- Mindset by Carol Dweck * Both read this, and it is a MUST-READ in our opinion!

9, 10, 11- 3 Mitch Rapp books by Vince Flynn about an assassin.

"No thank you on any of those books" - Jihae

12- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fu&$ - by Mark Manson * Really good read!

13- The Great Courses, Art of war by Andrew Wilson

14- Great Courses- CBT

15- Leadership: Gain Confidence to Influence as a Leader Through Communication Skills and Coaching by Nathan Smart

16- The Connected Child by Karen Purvis * Both read this, and it's in the top 5, and is a Must Read for foster and adoptive families (and parents in general).

17- Garbage Bag Suitcase by Shenandoah Chefalo * Great book.

18- Talk like TED by Carmine Gallo * Great book if you want to improve your public speaking.

19- The Advantage by Patrick Lencioni

20- Good Leaders ask Great questions by John Maxwell

21- Upside Down Crown by Robert Watson * BEST BOOK EVER! :) You can hear from the author on Episode 62. Also the only book he has read with his eyes this year!

22- Essentialism by Greg Mc Keown * Read this book and it's a great one!

23- The 3 Day Effect by Florence Williams.

Jihae's books from 2019

(without the ones that overlap with Chris)

1. Epic Content Marketing by Joe Pulizzi

2. Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple

Such a fun read! And read it in paperback! Yay for reading with your eyes!

3. Permission Marketing by Seth Godin

4. Chop Wood Carry Water by Joshua Medcalf

Not a great book. It's fine, but not great.

5. None Like Him: 10 Ways God is Different From Us by Jen Wilkin

Another fine book, but not my favorite

6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

FINALLY read this, and in paperback! Definitely now know why it's a classic. First 3/4s of the book was very hard to get through! But worth pushing through.

7. Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling

Also a paperback book that I read, and it was Amazing! So fun! And she does narrate the audio version, so I bet that is amazing. I will buy this next book on Audible!

8. The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker

This is one of my top 5! Definitely worth the read!

9. To The End of June: The Intimate Life of American Foster Care by Cris Beam.

Very difficult in parts, but worth the read. And it's pretty long, and mostly looks at foster care in New York.

So, that's it! We truly believe that readers are leaders! But not all leaders are readers, but the best ones are.

If you would like to connect with us:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 73: 1 Year Anniversary of Our Full House Oct 26, 2019

Show notes

This week's episode features our girl, Cate, who has been living with us for over a year! You can hear Cate's story on Episode 23, where she shares with the rough start that she had in life. Basic synopsis: Cate's parents dropped her and her 3 siblings off at her uncle's house, and never came back.

But Cate is a fighter, a hard worker, a grace-receiver and grace-giver, and she is not a victim of her circumstances, and she also happens to love mopping and sweeping, so she is basically the best person alive.

Tune in to hear more about this gem of a human.

The Good Word of the Day

12 Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

-1 Thessalonians 5:12-17

SUCH A GREAT WORD! Perfect for our household, but also for all of us to remember as we try to live peaceably among each other!

We also heard an amazing sermon by Robert Watson and Sam Collie, and they spoke on Racism. It is absolutely worth a listen!

If you would like to connect:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 72: Just Take The Next Step Oct 19, 2019

Show notes

We start off this episode with an apology and clarification! In episode 70, we talked about court, FCRBs, and TDMs. We completely forgot about CFTs! We have only been to one CFT and one TDM, and they were both for our 4th placement, and we just lumped them together. SO our apologies for our mistake, and thanks to Grace Sharp and Kristen Friend for lovingly pointing that out.

A CFT is a Child Family Team meeting. It usually happens near the beginning of a case, and it's purpose is to have all the team members discuss the family's strengths, needs, and problems. There is supposed to be discussion about how everyone will play a role in the lives of the children. We didn't get a lot out of our meeting, except that we were able to see some of the other team members (case workers, social workers), and also hear from other members on the phone (parents).

A TDM is a Team Decision-Making Meeting, and they are held for all decisions involving a child's removal, change of placement and permanency plan. The one we went to, was very intense and stressful. Maybe ones you go to will not be so.

As we mentioned earlier - we have only been to ONE of EACH of these meetings. So as much as there should be a CFT and a TDM for each of the cases you have - that's not what always happens. So, as always - just go with the flow! And it's going to be different every time!

We also discussed how Jihae got an endometrial ablation the day we recorded this podcast. If you want to read more about those (ladies...) then feel free to check this article out.

The meat of this episode talked about how Chris and Lily went on a week long mission trip to Nicaragua. Lily is 12, and Chris was scared. But it was a huge step of faith for everyone, and the thing CHris took away from the trip is to TAKE THE NEXT STEP.

So What does that look like for you?

For those looking to get involved in foster care, you can always offer to babysit for a foster family (for free!). There is a HUGE need for people who would be willing and able to help out with medically fragile children. These parents really need a break sometimes! And another amazing way you can get involved is to donate your old car to a bio family who is getting reunified with their children! Our friends, the Piepers and the Tinters (episodes 5 and 55 respectively), both did that this year, and what a massive blessing!

The Good Word of the Day

6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.

Joshua 1:6.

So be bold! If there is something you feel led to do - just go ahead and try it out! Especially if it's for the benefit of others, not yourself.

We hope you enjoyed this episode!

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 71: Grief, Reunification, and Walking Alongside Bio Families Oct 12, 2019

Show notes

You may remember Maggie from Episode 33. She is the crazy lady who likes to just be surrounded by cute baby boys! Well, here we are, a year and a half later - and Maggie is still surrounded by cute baby boys!

And in this year and a half, Maggie has grown a baby in her uterus, then a month before having this baby, she reunified her foster baby, Baby A, with his biological family, and had her final bio baby, and has gone to grief counseling to work through the hard parts of fostering!

She shares 3 great tools she has learned in her grief journey:

1. Document document document. Have official statements in emails, CC your significant other on those emails, choose wise times to discuss together - but don't let that dominate your marriage and world.

2. Journal! Whether it's a document on your computer, or even in an email to yourself, or on paper with pen or pencil! Writing your thoughts and feelings can be very healing!

3. Boundaries. They are so simple yet so important. We had a podcast episode (40) talking about the book Boundaries, which is a terrific read.

The Good Word of the Day

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." —Maya Angelou.

Man! That's a good word! Knowledge is power, but also useless unless you do something with the knowledge you have acquired. We all know so much, so let's do better with all that we know!

Thanks so much to Maggie for sharing so much of her heart, struggles, and journey with us. Foster care is not easy, and may have no happy endings. BUT, can we provide the best version of a child's new normal? Hopefully yes!

You can learn more about Maggie on her website. And find her on Instagram and Facebook.

If you want to connect with us on Social Media:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 71: Grief, Reunification, and Walking Alongside Bio Families Oct 12, 2019

Show notes

She shares 3 great tools she has learned in her grief journey:

2. Journal! Whether it's a document on your computer, or even in an email to yourself, or on paper with pen or pencil! Writing your thoughts and feelings can be very healing!

3. Boundaries. They are so simple yet so important. We had a podcast episode (40) talking about the book Boundaries, which is a terrific read.

The Good Word of the Day

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." —Maya Angelou.

Man! That's a good word! Knowledge is power, but also useless unless you do something with the knowledge you have acquired. We all know so much, so let's do better with all that we know!

You can learn more about Maggie on her website. And find her on Instagram and Facebook.

If you want to connect with us on Social Media:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 70: Court and Foster Care Oct 05, 2019

Show notes

Court in foster care can seem like a scary, gigantic ordeal. But it isn't, especially when you realize how little say that foster parents have in their foster child's court case.

This episode goes through our 5 years of court cases - which pretty much means nothing to you - since court is so different for everyone! But what you basically need to know is this- if you can go, THEN GO! Even if you don't have a chance to speak, you usually learn more about the case, and about the children you are caring for. This is also a great opportunity to meet the bio family, and possibly forge a relationship with them.

FCRBs, aka Foster Care Review Boards, are an opportunity for foster parents to make a statement in front of a board of volunteers who work hard to get official statements in front of a judge. There is some debate whether these are given much weight or not, but that may depend on the judge. When given an opportunity to advocate for your foster child, we say to take it.

We thought FCRBs were just for foster parents, but it is also for bio parents. That's actually the first time we met Wesley's parents - at an FCRB. And it was interesting.

Which leads to another point we made, which is to be aware of how you are dressing for court, and other official meetings like an FCRB. You don't have to be dressed to the nines. Even nice jeans will do. But be aware that you may see bio families, and other people who may be judging you on first appearances.

TDMs are Team Decision Meetings, and are supposed to include all parties on a child's team - case managers, bio and foster parents, lawyers, etc. These are usually supposed to be pretty low key. But we did go to one, after parents' rights were severed, and it was INTENSE. So, again - anything can happen!

If you want to hear more about court, and especially about GALs (Guardian Ad Litems), you can check out episode 53 where we interview Kim Turner, an awesome lawyer for foster kids.

The Good Word of the Day:

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

-Psalm 9:9-10

God is a refuge for the oppressed - and sometimes that feels like us - the foster families. But no one is more oppressed than our foster kids. Sometimes all this court stuff, and meetings, and appointments feels like a major hassle, and a little inconvenient, but when we can remember the inconvenience and hassle of our foster babes' lives - I think we as the responsible adults can continue to endure, and advocate, and provide for these kids!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 69: Edge Effect in Marriage and Foster Care Sep 28, 2019

Show notes

This week we talk about a marriage conference we went to earlier this year.

We talk about punching our sharks in the face, whether our sharks are shame, as Kara talked about in episode 66. Or maybe your shark is negativity, or hopelessness. Whatever it is - identify it, and beat it!

We also learned about 'the edge effect' which happens in ecosystems where two edges meet each other: like water and land (aka beaches), or forest and desert. Or in marriage when one person joins another, or in foster care, where one family is joined by kids they don't know. The result can be messy, and chaotic, but also brimming with life and adventure!

The Good Word of the Day:

"so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

Ephesians 3:17, 19-20

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

Episode 68: Grace, Friendship, Infertility, and Foster Care Sep 21, 2019

Show notes

This week's episode hits on a ton of different topics, as we interview Kristen Friend, a foster mom of a little over a year.

In the intro though, we did get to hear from Chris, and he and Jihae shared their Highs and Lows. Having 9 people in the house is definitely starting to wear on everyone - but as we continue to have open conversations, and tweak what is working - and what is not, we are continuing to do well!

We did mention this great meme about 'Fairnesss':

A great visual to remember what we are trying to provide for every human in our house! WE just definitely do not have it figured out.

But on to the interview!

Kristen, and her husband Houston, are the Friends! That is their actual last name. They have been married for 7 years, and have been fostering a little over a year. They are currently with their 3rd placement.

We did hit on a vulnerable topic - and that is Infertility and Foster Care and what that has looked like for Kristen. Many people make assumptions that they are fostering so they can adopt children - but that's not the case. They have been able to reunify one of their foster children, and that has been a huge blessing for everyone.

A major issue that Kristen has dealt with, that we have heard from other foster families who don't have bio children, is the fear that they are not doing a good job parenting 'because they haven't had their own kids' - and we are going to claim and proclaim that THAT IS GARBAGE! No parents know what they are doing! Everyone experiences parenting 'for the first time' all the time (we are dealing with jr high for the first time, etc) - so that doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. As long as everyone is actually doing what is best for the children in their care - that's being a great parent. Let's support each other and not tear each other down. #graceforallpeople. Especially grace for yourself!

The Good Word of the Day

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

-Matthew 6:34

Major shout out to everyone who walks along all of us on our foster care journeys. Today does have enough trouble of its own - but it helps to spread the burden! Major props to Hope Bible Church for setting up meals for the Friends when they get new placements!!

Thanks for coming on the podcast and sharing your experience and heart with us all, Kristen!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Kristen aka @FollowtheFriends on Instagram

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com