Football Cliches

Latest Episodes:

Jack Reacher's Villa 5-a-side team, two Andy Townsends & the most darts-looking PL manager Oct 29, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends.

Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manager looks the most "darts" and enjoy the performance of a football commentator on a mid-1990s tv quiz show.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Styling out fake injuries & "How long ref?!": The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Doc Brown) Oct 23, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeeper, the precise motivation for asking “How long ref?!” in Sunday League and the dubious importance of always knowing who your team's next opponents are.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some unexpected Premier League commentary in a Jamaican dancehall track and some rare well-researched football small talk in a TV drama.

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Salah's Sunday 4.30pm supremacy, Fred Again's biscuits & going down like a game of Jenga Oct 22, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League goalscorer, Darren Cann's flag-waving Premier League legacy, a new tune for the chant mocking teams who've thrown away a 2-0 lead, Inter Miami's slightly-too-humble nickname, and an Andy Gray reference in some Austrian fifth-tier commentary.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy a Twitter debate about the best players for each Premier League kick-off time and discuss how to behave while attending games as a neutral.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The definitive game for every football scoreline Oct 17, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline.

A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can a 1-1 draw ever be "iconic"? A 3-2 win that had a whole book written about it, Forfar 5 East Fife 4, a surprising dearth of truly legendary 6-0s, Puskas vs Le Tissier in the battle for the definitive 6-3 and a very exotic 10-0 at the Maracana.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Armchair admirals, Roberto Carlos darts & "Doing a [Club X]” Oct 14, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable football references in financial TV dramas, daytime TV quiz show couples who sound like footballers, a Premier League-backed project to teach the world the language of English football and Richard Keys’ voice briefly appearing in the most random of places.

Meanwhile, the panel provide a guide to "Doing a [Club X]" and select European stadiums that look more like English ones (and vice versa.)

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Cliches vs The Football Ramble - The Football Cliches Quiz XV Oct 10, 2024

Show notes

The Football Clichés Quiz returns with a visit from a two-man team from the venerable Football Ramble podcast for a battle of niche football trivia.

The questions include: The Eredivisie or Neverdivisie, failed UK petitions, Watford or Notford, Football things dubbed into various European languages, Sven’s CV, football-adjacent Olympic sports that never were, the 1997 Sony MiniDisc Euro Sixes, the agonising audio of mystery missed sitters, surprisingly unmemorable Premier League mascots, Happy Hunting Grounds and a football-trivia fight to the very end.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Liverpool's radar status, lusty bangers & Richard Keys’ 12,476-game TV marathon Oct 08, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether a goalkeeper can qualify for the "who else but...?" treatment, David Beckham on air ambulances, the most colours ever bled by a figuratively cut-open footballer, whether Liverpool really are "going under the radar" and doing the maths on Richard Keys' claim to have watched every Premier League game ever.

Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the most “you could see what he was trying to do there” football scenario and decide the most ideal team a stranger could support for the purposes of train-journey small talk.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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First names on shirts, Footy Scran technicalities & the FPL universe, with Ellis Platten Oct 03, 2024

Show notes

The pod welcomes AwayDays Youtube supremo Ellis Platten for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Ellis's selections are football fans with their first names printed on the back of their shirts, random football shirts popping up in unexpected places, the dubious criteria of the ongoing FootyScran project and, quite simply, everything about fantasy football.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel weigh up if a goalkeeper can be a "passenger", wonder how Alan Shearer became involved in the US presidential race, and enjoy the name of a football competition popping up in a 1970s RnB classic.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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An incredible football birthday card, Dutch league-table madness & Mick McCarthy in the jungle Sep 30, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a baffling Premier League incident depicted on a birthday card, an accidental new nickname for Micky van de Ven, Dutch football's rejection of the concept of top and bottom halves of a league table, a completely unwarranted use of "football club" by Tim Sherwood, rugby union claiming a try was a "screamer" and Mick McCarthy going into the jungle.

Meanwhile, the panel attempt to define what it means to "tee up" a team-mate to shoot and take a deep dive into the classic hand gestures of substitutions.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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Football's shortest spell, the "in charge" threshold & the first half/second half vibe experiment Sep 26, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the shortest “spell” ever documented in football, the textbook body language of a player subbed off in the first half, people whose names sound like plausible Carabao Cup fourth-round ties, the best combined-years stat of all time and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel decide the threshold for a team being "in charge" and ponder a psychological experiment relating to second halves of matches.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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