Finding the Throughline with Kate Hanley

Latest Episodes:

[Stay Cozy] The Surprisingly Deep Reason Why Feeling Cozy Matters, EP: 617 Jan 10, 2022

Show notes

This week on the podcast is all about finding comfort and coziness. It’s just the time of year–and that time in the world at large as we round the corner on 2 years of a pandemic with a spike in cases. Let’s use this s-h-i-t show as an opportunity to embrace feeling cozy, whaddya say?

Today’s big idea is that seeking coziness is more than just a comfort measure–it’s a survival mechanism that boosts all aspects of health.

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3 Steps to Post-Holiday Relationship Recovery. EP: 616 Jan 07, 2022

Show notes

One area of life that is in need of recovery for a lot of people right now, in this first week after the holidays, is your primary relationships. I wrote a blog post called How I Stopped Hating My Husband and You Can Too in 2013, about how I learned how to stop keeping score regarding who did what around the house and how to communicate about how I was feeling about the division of labor. That blog post has consistently been the biggest source of traffic to my blog, but let me tell you, while that traffic remains steady through the year, it spikes around the holidays. Why? Because there’s typically one partner

who is taking on the bulk of the work that the holidays require, and in heterosexual relationships, that partner is typically the woman.

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Recovery Isn't a Straight Line. It's a Doodle. EP: 615 Jan 06, 2022

Show notes

The problem with recovery is that we tend to think it’s only for certain situations–an addict who has hit rock bottom, for example, or someone who has experienced a major illness or surgery. And then, even in those situations, we expect recovery to happen on a certain schedule and to progress linearly, like an arrow that’s pointing upward and forward.

Today’s big idea is that not only is recovery appropriate in a whole range of situations, including after times of widespread uncertainty, like the one you and I and everyone else on Earth is living through now, but also that it doesn’t happen on a timetable, and it doesn’t follow a straight line.

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Recovery Doesn't Have to Suck. EP: 614 Jan 05, 2022

Show notes

Today’s big idea is that we have a cultural bias against recovery–because if you’re recovering from something, then something must have been kicking your butt. And we’re not great at tolerating quote-unquote weakness. When the truth is, there are so many good things about being in recovery.

To share some of those good things with us, I’m talking today with Billy Manas, a recovering addict, and author of the book Kickass Recovery. Billy is also a top contributor on Elephant Journal where he writes a lot about addiction, relationships, and mindset. He's also a singer-songwriter who's got a treat for you at the end of the episode.

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The Secret Ingredients to a Successful Recovery. EP: 613 Jan 04, 2022

Show notes

Today’s big idea is that, once you recognize that you are in a recovery phase–and honestly, who among us hasn’t experienced loss and challenge in these last few years–you will naturally want to do something about that awareness. This episode lays out what that something is--and it's probably not what you'd expect, or that some part of you is going to hear. It's still true!

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I Don’t Know About You, But I’m Ready for Some Recovery. EP: 612 Jan 03, 2022

Show notes

This week on the podcast I’m talking about recovery. Because after the two years we’ve just had, plus the holidays–which are typically enough on their own to make you feel like you’ve lost touch with the things that make you feel your best–I think a lot of people are ready for some of that action. What I love about the idea of recovery is the re- part–it’s not creating something new that you’re never had before. It’s getting back into the groove, not digging a new trench. And it’s acknowledging that you’re not at 100 percent, so it requires you to cut yourself–and everyone else who’s in recovery–some slack.

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[Un-Do 2022]: Un-Fix Yourself. EP:611 Dec 31, 2021

Show notes

Today’s anti-resolution is probably the most important of them all. I should have maybe run it on Monday, but for whatever reason, my episodes that drop on Fridays tend to get the most downloads, so here it is: Un-Fix Yourself.

That might seem like a mixed message, coming from a podcast called How to Be a Better Person. Just to be clear, I don’t want you to be a different person. Just to help you be that version of yourself that you know is in there, and that can get overlooked when we’re busy, or stressed, or distracted. It’s not fixing we’re after here. It’s remembering. And growing. And neither of those things are possible when you're focusing on the flaws you want to make go away.

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[Un-Do 2022]: Save Space for Being Bored. EP: 610 Dec 30, 2021

Show notes

I used to be obsessed with productivity hacks. How could I make better lists so that I got more done in a day? What could I do to promote my focus so that I could produce more? I wasn't seeking ways to find my own flow and do my best work--I was just trying to wring more and more stuff out of my brain and cram more and more things into my schedule. Today's surprising strategy for a better new year is the opposite of all that--AND it can help you do your best thinking and find your groove.

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[Un-Do 2022]: Stop Being Nice. EP: 609 Dec 29, 2021

Show notes

Today’s anti-resolution is to Stop Being Nice.

Wut?!

Despite the fact that women have been socialized to be nice above all else, it's not actually a very noble goal, as my co-host this week, Terri Trespicio, breaks down today. Does that mean you should go out and let your a-hole flag fly? Or become outright mean? Goodness, no. It just means you set your sights on something different--something that takes a lot less energy than being nice AND that gives you more energy, because it's gratifying.

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[Un-Do 2022]: Unplan Your Life. EP: 608 Dec 28, 2021

Show notes

Today’s surprising strategy for a better new year is to Un-plan Your Life. Which, depending on how much of a planner you are, may sound like just a completely ludicrous idea. BUT, as this week's co-host, Terri Trespicio, will talk us through--plans change all the time. Multiple times. Especially in our new pandemic reality. (I can’t tell you how many trips I have booked and canceled in the last six months.) And sometimes, even when your plans work out, you've put so much stock in them that you can feel lost now that they're no longer on the horizon. So what do you do instead?

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