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Failing Motherhood — Kids & Family
Failing Motherhood

If you’re riddled with mom guilt, your temper scares you, you’re terrified you’re screwing up your kids and are afraid to admit any of those things out loud….this podcast is for you. Hosted by Danielle Bettmann, parenting coach for families with 1-10-year-old strong-willed kids, Failing Motherhood is where shame-free vulnerability meets breakthroughs.
Every other week is a storytelling interview about one mom’s raw and honest experience of growth that leads to new perspectives and practical strategies and every other week solo episodes focus on actionable insight into parenting your deeply feeling, highly sensitive, *spicy* child.
Here, we normalize the struggle, share openly about our insecurities, and rally around small wins and truths. We hope to convince you you’re not alone and YOU are the parent your kids need. We hope you see yourself, hear your story, and find hope and healing.
Welcome to Failing Motherhood. You belong here!

UPDATE: 08/2026 – Applications are no longer accepted for Wholeheartedly CALM.

Copyright: © 2023 Failing Motherhood

Latest Episodes:

200. My #1 Mantra + Mindset Shift May 20, 2025

Show notes

Happy 5th Anniversary of Failing Motherhood!

Welcome to the LAST episode, #200.

If there's one thing I will be known for, let it be this mindset shift. And in this episode, I don't just explain it, but I share a clip from a coaching call where we apply it in real time to a common frustration.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

How to recognize when you're having "first thoughts"
Creative ways to problem solve struggles with cleaning up their own things
How to take your power back + no longer feel like the victim

DON'T MISS:

What I'm going to be working on in the future!

// YOUR NEXT STEPS //

#1 - Leave a review in Apple podcasts if you have grown as a parent while listening and share it with a friend to help us celebrate!

#2 - Stay connected through email newsletters by registering for any of these FREE downloads-

PDF Guide for MORE Patience: www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/patience
PDF Guide on Managing BIG Emotions: www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/emotions
Masterclass on the Kind + Firm Approach your Strong-willed child needs: www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
GAME CHANGER: Free Live Class on Tuesday, May 29th - register here: https://www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/game-changer
// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

199. Fighting to Stop Fighting + Not Giving Up with Abbey + Jake May 13, 2025

Show notes

Not giving up. Not giving in. Not settling. Being all in.

Today's episode recounts the story of Abbey, Jake, and their 7-year-old son finding purpose rather than despair, leaning in, offering mutual respect, and feeling like a united front.

From feeling desperate and helpless, having "no good days" to parenting authentically, strategically, enjoying time together again.

From their son never doing something he doesn't want to do, to not saying no anymore.

From considering divorce, to the strongest they've ever felt together.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

How Jake took a good hard look at his relationship with his son
What they had to do to get the "Jerry Springer" moments to stop
The heartbreaking question their son asked and how they transformed his self-esteem

DON'T MISS-

The power that comes from asking for help

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi! I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

198. Being True to Yourself inside Tricky Relationships with KC Davis May 06, 2025

Show notes

We have a returning guest today!

KC Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor, author, speaker, the creator of the mental health platform, Struggle Care, AND the author of the brand new book, out today... Who Deserves your Love (How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End any Relationship).

In our conversation, we discuss the problems within the traditional self-help industry and the parallels of mom guilt and our effect on the people and the relationships we love.

The heart of our conversation centered around having clarity in our decision making using her "relationship decision tree" and finding more creative ways to sustain relationships rather than the pendulum swings between being a complete doormat and cutting off contact completely.

So if you need more skill building around healthy boundary setting, self-love and what it looks like to be a "good person" in your relationships, let's be honest, this episode is for all of us.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

Why shame isn't a sustainable motivator
How to create the "Plinko board" our relationships flow within while remaining in integrity
The truth behind "if they wanted to, they would"

DON'T MISS-

A counterintuitive (yet MORE effective) way to spend quality time

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //

Special Time Cards

// CONNECT WITH KC DAVIS //
Who Deserves your Love (How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End any Relationship) Book — KC Davis

Website: www.strugglecare.com
Instagram: @strugglecare
TikTok: @domesticblisters

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi! I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

197. 3 of 3: Therapy, Marriage Counseling, 1:1 Coaching + Virtual Parenting Programs/Memberships Apr 29, 2025

Show notes

Welcome back!

This is the 3rd of 3 episodes breaking down the vast array of parenting resources we have at our fingertips. Today we’re talking: personal therapy, marriage counseling, one-off or 1:1 parenting coaching, and virtual parenting programs / memberships.

For each, I break down the family that resource is BEST for, the benefits it provides, the unique Pros and Cons of utilizing that support vs. another, and ultimately, for some, the way they fall short.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

What a therapist will never tell you
Why 1:1 coaching actually takes LONGER to see results
The nuance missing from programs developed 50+ years ago

DON'T MISS:

The program that has it *all* if you are still looking for a breakthrough

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //

Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.)
Nonviolent Communication (N.V.C.)
Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (S.T.E.P.)
Active Parenting
Triple P (Positive Parenting Program)
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk
Positive Discipline
Love and Logic
Dare to Discipline

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

196. 2 of 3: OT, PCIT, Play Therapy + Seeing a Psychologist Apr 22, 2025

Show notes

Welcome back!

This is the 2nd of 3 episodes breaking down the vast array of parenting resources we have at our fingertips. Today we’re talking: Occupational Therapy, Parent Child Interaction Therapy, Child Therapy (play therapy) and seeing a Psychologist.

For each, I break down the family that resource is BEST for, the benefits it provides, the unique Pros and Cons of utilizing that support vs. another, and ultimately for some, the way they fall short.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

When play therapy would most benefit your child
Why PCIT is less likely to work with strong-willed kids
The criteria often necessary in order to get a referral to a psychologist

DON'T MISS:

A study on childhood anxiety and what treatment style was most effective - the answer may surprise you!

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //

2019 Yale Study on Combating Childhood Anxiety

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

195. 1 of 3: Parenting Content, Books, Courses + Classes Apr 15, 2025

Show notes

Welcome to my VERSUS series!

This is the 1st of 3 episodes breaking down the vast array of parenting resources we have at our fingertips. Today we’re talking: parenting content, parenting courses & books, and in-person parenting classes.

For each, I break down the family that resource is BEST for, the benefits it provides, the unique Pros and Cons of utilizing that support vs. another, and ultimately for some, the way they fall short.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

Why it’s extra hard to implement strategies from a book
The topics I recommend buying courses for
Who benefits most from parenting classes

DON'T MISS:

The Industry standard completion rate for online courses vs. mine

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

194. Setting Boundaries without Pressure + Panic Apr 08, 2025

Show notes

What does it even look like to set + hold good boundaries?

Boundaries can feel like an illusive mystery. Our preconceived notions of what we should be doing can create really rigid metrics for succeeding or failing, when in all actuality, there’s often no right or wrong!

Today’s discussion includes validating the intention to “find the line”, why boundaries isn’t a binary but rather a spectrum, and the mindset reframes needed to be more effective and successful while still allowing for exceptions to the rule.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

How the lack of boundaries leads to entitlement
What your true responsibility is
How much time you actually have to address the behavior

DON'T MISS:

An important distinction to realize when parenting strong-willed kids

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

193. Accidentally Inviting the Outcomes You're Trying to Avoid Apr 01, 2025

Show notes

Well that backfired!

When we parent out of fear, our short-sighted reactions can add fuel to the fire. This can create unintended consequences, like MORE helplessness, MORE sibling resentment, and MORE attention-seeking.

In this episode, I cover where this starts, two extremely common examples, and what to do instead.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

The Boomerang Effect: What you push away, comes back full force
A parallel to the movie- Monsters, Inc.
The "Veruca Salt" mentality we're all afraid of

DON'T MISS:

How the best of intentions can actually create MORE entitlement or sibling rivalry

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
Dr. Shefali Tsabary books
// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

192. Working WITH Demand Avoidance (PDA) to Make the Impossible, POSSIBLE with Lisa Mar 25, 2025

Show notes

Cooking during daytime hours, running in & out of a store, joining a homeschool group... these may seem like everyday occurrences to some families, but at Lisa's house, they felt impossible.

She was tasked with getting her neurodivergent son up to state curriculum standards last year while homeschooling, but his pathological demand avoidance made cooperation so hard to attain.

NOW - she shares what IS possible now, how her confidence has grown, and what seemed to help when nothing else did.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

The multi-faceted feelings of failure Lisa struggled with
The breakthroughs she experienced while we worked together
The remarkable progress they've been able to make

DON'T MISS-

The unorthodox solution that helped her son wash his hair

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi! I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

191. Silly over Serious Mar 18, 2025

Show notes

Does it ever feel like your strong-willed child SNAPS and turns into someone else entirely? Like an alter ego took over?

You’re now walking on eggshells trying to diffuse a bomb before it explodes. There are two wires, which one do you cut?

Choose SILLY over SERIOUS.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

A situation in college you’d have handled in a similar way
The ramifications of doubling down on seriousness
Ways to inform your mindset that boost your patience and compassion

DON'T MISS:

Several examples of ways to effectively choose the sillier option without letting them “get away with it”

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

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