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Failing Motherhood — Kids & Family
Failing Motherhood

If you’re riddled with mom guilt, your temper scares you, you’re terrified you’re screwing up your kids and are afraid to admit any of those things out loud….this podcast is for you. Hosted by Danielle Bettmann, parenting coach for families with 1-10-year-old strong-willed kids, Failing Motherhood is where shame-free vulnerability meets breakthroughs.
Every other week is a storytelling interview about one mom’s raw and honest experience of growth that leads to new perspectives and practical strategies and every other week solo episodes focus on actionable insight into parenting your deeply feeling, highly sensitive, *spicy* child.
Here, we normalize the struggle, share openly about our insecurities, and rally around small wins and truths. We hope to convince you you’re not alone and YOU are the parent your kids need. We hope you see yourself, hear your story, and find hope and healing.
Welcome to Failing Motherhood. You belong here!

UPDATE: 08/2026 – Applications are no longer accepted for Wholeheartedly CALM.

Copyright: © 2023 Failing Motherhood

Latest Episodes:

180. It's OK to Walk Away + What to Do When You Can't Dec 17, 2024

Show notes

We all dread it - the inevitable meltdown of EPIC proportions. It’s survival mode, and no one is immune.

In this episode, I share why I disagree with typical advice (and even Dr. Becky) on how to manage these meltdowns/outbursts, why it’s OK to walk away, and what to do when you can’t.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

An analogy to help illustrate your responsibility
Why staying WITH your child might actually backfire
How to “leave” the room without physically leaving

DON'T MISS:

Mantras to adopt that speak to your nervous system

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

179. 7 Steps to a Successful Holiday with a Strong-Willed Child Dec 10, 2024

Show notes

The holiday season is upon us filled with changes, anticipation, late nights, unfamiliar meals, sweets, high emotions, extra tasks and stress.

Your strong-willed child will understandably have an even harder time navigating all of this unpredictability, triggers, and lack of routine.

Tune in to hear my 7 steps to a more successful holiday season for the whole family!

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

What to say NO to and why
Critical mindset shifts that allow you to prevent rather than react
How to manage the inevitable jealousy and lack of etiquette/appreciation

DON'T MISS:

Why there’s no right answer on whether you stick to routine or not

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
Managing Candy + Holiday Sweets with Nicole Cruz, RD

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

178. Cultivating Resilience + Managing Stress through Times of Uncertainty with Dr. Tovah Klein, PhD Dec 03, 2024

Show notes

… seems timely, right?

My guest today, Dr. Tovah P. Klein, Ph.D. is the author of Raising Resilience: How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty. In her role as a researcher and professor and in direct care with parents and children for over thirty years, Klein has helped to define what every child needs to thrive, regardless of their life situations.

In our episode today, Dr. Tovah breaks down the 5 critical pillars that are the roots of resilience our kids need to be okay when things are not okay. She shares strategic ways to change how we react to our kids’ negative emotions and how to feel much more equipped to know what to focus on.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

What Resilience is NOT and how our good intentions backfire
The 5 Critical “Roots of Resilience” we can instill
The recipe for our kids to love themselves for who they are

DON'T MISS-

A pep talk if your child is rigid and/or loses it when things don’t go their way and you fear they’re on track to be entitled, spoiled or selfish!

// CONNECT WITH DR. TOVAH KLEIN //
Website: TovahKlein.com
USA Today Bestselling Book, RAISING RESILIENCE
Instagram- @tovahklein

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi! I'm @‌parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

177. How to Tag In/Out with your Partner with Dignity + Compassion Nov 26, 2024

Show notes

No couple goes into parenting as a perfectly united front. Every parent runs out of steam, hits a wall, and loses it from time to time. Good parents ask good questions like “How can I help my partner when things are going off the rails without stepping on their toes?”

Before you hop in the car and start parenting extra challenging behaviors in front of extended family this holiday season, have this important conversation with your partner to set you both up for much more success.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

The ONE question to ask your partner
Why you’re actually not failing, and what failing really looks like
Practical strategies to inspire you to put a new plan in place

DON'T MISS:

A better story to tell yourself that gives you permission to tag in/out in the first place

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
Other recommended Failing Motherhood episodes:

Ep. 53 from 11/23/21 - Parenting Around Family

Ep. 61 from 3/8/22 - How to Get on the Same Page

Ep. 123 from 9/26/23 - Good Cop/ Bad Cop: The Broken Record Relationship

Ep. 129 from 11/7/23 - Best BOOKS for Strong-Willed Kids

Ep. 131 from 11/21/23 - Best GIFTS for Strong-Willed Kids (unconventional, practical and long-lasting ideas that are still fun to open!)

Ep. 133 from 12/5/23 - Boundaries with Parents with Jamie Cooper

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

176. The Antidote for Shame + Guilt Nov 19, 2024

Show notes

There is something ALL parenting books are missing. You cannot fake it. There is no substitute. It is transformational.

…and it’s the critical antidote to guilt + shame.

If you’ve tried EVERYTHING under the sun- this might be the reason why you’ve stayed stuck. And it’s more needed than ever before.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

What my daughter’s violin teacher did that changed the game for me as a parent
The real reason why my coaching wasn’t helping families
Why a healthy sense of skepticism is warranted

DON'T MISS:

What my clients appreciate most

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
The Suzuki Method

Al-Anon Family Groups

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

175. NO REGRETS Nov 12, 2024

Show notes

One of my kids just received a diagnosis. It was 10 years in the making because school was not seeing any of the symptoms we saw at home until now.

In light of this milestone for our family, I’m sharing a personal reflection of my own parenting. As parenting is often filled with confusion, overwhelm, guilt and regret… here are things I do NOT regret.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

A vulnerable audit of my own parenting
What to do if your child is too young to be diagnosed with ADHD but you think they have it
Your path to better days with or without a diagnosis

DON'T MISS:

How to download a PDF guide helping you parent on the same page

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

174. Kids are Not Content with Sarah Adams (@Mom.Uncharted) Nov 05, 2024

Show notes

What’s wrong with sharing pictures on Facebook so grandparents can see the kids?

As parents in 2024, we’re in uncharted waters trying to navigate our own internet use, let alone our kids’.

My guest today, Sarah Adams, is an online safety advocate and expert, exploring the state of parental public oversharing, child exploitation and minor security on social media.

While diving into the harsh realities of the Internet in 2024, she defines some key terms we should know, the impact of the pandemic, and whether private accounts are really private.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

Beyond the digital footprint - 5 risks to consider when sharing online
Content she considers to be exploitative and what to do about it
Alternatives ways to stay in touch
How to talk to your kids about YouTube channels you can’t support

DON'T MISS-

Questions to ask yourself before hitting POST

// CONNECT WITH SARAH ADAMS//
Website: www.kidsarenotcontent.com
Instagram: @‌mom.uncharted
TikTok: @‌mom.uncharted

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi! I'm @‌parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

173. Managing Halloween Candy + Holiday Sweets with Nicole Cruz, RD Oct 29, 2024

Show notes

T minus 2 days until a candy avalanche is at our doorsteps!

Thankfully, my guest today, Nicole Cruz, RD is here to take some weight off our shoulders.

Nicole is the founder of Nourish Together, a shame-free approach to family nutrition. As a Registered Dietitian and mom of three, Nicole supports parents in raising confident eaters who can eat a variety, listen to their body cues, and not obsess over sweets or other ‘treats’.

We start off our conversation naming many of the understandable fears around sugar, and how sometimes our fears end up exacerbating the fascination! Nicole shares two really important factors that help take sugar off it’s pedestal and teach an intuitive eating approach. She then gave a lot of practical advice for managing all the holiday sweets to come, Halloween and beyond.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

What to do if your child is OBSESSED with sweets
The enemies of intuitive eating - scarcity and restriction
What one word matters most in our language around food

DON'T MISS-

Whether or not she recommends using the “Switch Witch” or other trades for Halloween candy

// CONNECT WITH NICOLE CRUZ, RD //
Website: nicolecruzrd.com
Instagram: @‌nicolecruzrd

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi! I'm @‌parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

172. Raising Gifted & Twice-Exceptional (2e) Kids with Erin Vanek Oct 22, 2024

Show notes

Are you in the midst of the chaotic beautiful hard journey that is raising a gifted child at your house? Can you know "for sure" if your child is gifted?

My guest today, Erin Vanek has spent well over a decade supporting gifted students with a Master's in Education and an endorsement in gifted education. She's also the founder of The Gifted Perspective, offering workshops, printable resources, and activities, and fostering a strong social media community. At home, she navigates the challenge of raising two twice-exceptional (2e) learners of her own.

In today’s episode, Erin shared how she beat herself up for struggling to support her oldest in ways she could with her students, and sharing what led to answers that allowed him to thrive, setting off a cascade of realizations within her family.

She defined twice-exceptional kids and giftedness as a whole, including the common traits, complexities, assets, and struggles as well as the most fascinating concept- asynchronous development - insight sure to set off lightbulbs and peace of mind in many listening parents.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

Why gifted kids make seemingly simple + “careless” mistakes
The "waiting for the other shoe to drop” feeling parents like Erin so commonly feel when getting updates from school staff knowing there are behaviors to discuss
A key life skill to model with your gifted child while they’re still young

DON'T MISS-

The parenting changes you can make now to prevent your child from burning out down the road

// CONNECT WITH ERIN VANEK //
Website: www.thegiftedperspective.com
Instagram: @the.gifted.perspective

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

170. Stepmom Support: From Proving Yourself to Living a Kick-Ass Life with Jamie Scrimgeour Oct 08, 2024

Show notes

One could say with motherhood, you know what you’re signing up for - but you certainly have no idea how it will feel.

As a Child of Divorce and Child Protection Worker with a background in Psychology and Social Service Work, Jamie Scrimgeour thought she knew what she was signing up for as a childless bachelorette when she decided to marry a man with three kids and an ex.
But as I am sure you can guess, she felt like she had no freaking idea, and quickly found herself in-over-her head. Finding a lack of resources for step moms, she created her own and now supports thousands of step moms in doing the work to show up as their best selves.

In this episode, we spoke to assumptions her clients make of her and each other and unique challenges stepmoms face. She spoke to the guilt stepmoms feel in typical motherhood spaces - the things they would be shamed to say and the cycle they get into trying to prove themselves. She also shared advice for ex's and offered grace for dads.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

The dichotomy of "loving like they're your own" yet needing to "know your place"
Things stepmoms are ashamed to say
Why learning how to disengage without disconnecting is a critical, relationship-saving skill

DON'T MISS-

Questions every parent can ask themselves to gain clarity + intentionality moving forward as a family

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
Book: The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love by Vienna Pharaon

// CONNECT WITH JAMIE SCRIMGEOUR //
Website: jamiescrimgeour.com
Instagram: @jamiescrimgeour
Program: https://www.kickassstepmom.com/

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi! I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

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