Dear Young Married Couple

Latest Episodes:

A Path For Overcoming ANXIETY w/ Yvette Kumar, LMFT Jul 28, 2020

Show notes

In today's episode, we have a conversation with Yvette Kumar, LMFT about how anxiety impacts us as individuals and how it can affect the marriage. Yvette teaches several practical tools for overcoming anxiety and all from a Christian perspective. Yvette recommended: The Whole Brain Child by Daniel Siegel The Assertiveness Guide for Women by Julie de Azevedo Hanks The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson Butterflies on the First Day of School You can reach Yvette via e-mail at: ykumar.lmft@gmail.com Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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I just don't UNDERSTAND my spouse! Jul 21, 2020

Show notes

In last week's episode, we shared some tips for speaking about difficult topics like SEX and MONEY. This week, we're sharing some tips for how to listen and understand when your spouse does bring something up. Here's the link to our upcoming live VIRTUAL MARRIAGE RETREAT: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/1/n6075a7 Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks that we created for you and your spouse: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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Sex and Money: The "When, What, and How" Rules for Having These DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS Jul 14, 2020

Show notes

Sex and Money - two topics of conversation that often get you to shut down or heat up (maybe in more ways than one?). If you're going to bring up a conversation that you think could cause some more-than-normal tension, trigger unpacked emotions, or even some pain, it's important to let your spouse know that you're going to throw the ball. If you don't give them the heads-up, you might hit them in the back of the head, causing further negative emotion, pain, and tension around the topic next time it gets brought up.⁠ Here are some ways to give your spouse a heads-up:⁠ "Babe, I need to unpack a pretty big conversation box with you that has to with our sex life. I want to make sure we're both in a good mental space for it. Would tomorrow during the kids' nap time be a good time for us to discuss a few needs that we both have about our intimacy?"⁠ "I know we both want to win with money and we each have some ideas to put on the table for how to best do that. Do you think we could both do some research between now and Saturday on retirement investment options and then we could work toward a decision together on Saturday after breakfast?"⁠ "Babe, I have an important need to share with you about our spending. Is now a good time to chat?"⁠ "Hey Babe - when in the next week or so would be a good time for us to have a check-in about how often we have sex? I know today's probably not the best day and I'd like for us both to have time to think about it before we check-in."⁠ P.S. If you call your spouse something other than Babe, that works too. 😆 More about these conversation stems in today's episode. Here is the link to our upcoming LIVE virtual marriage retreat: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/1/n6075a7 Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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INTERCULTURAL Marriage w/ Jonathan + Tiffany Bonilla Jul 07, 2020

Show notes

Whether you think you're married to someone from a different culture than your own or not, this podcast is for you! The truth is, we all come from different family cultures, and when we marry someone, we're faced with many challenges of adopting, adapting, or dismissing various family traditions and norms that we bring into the marriage. In today's episode, Jonathan and Tiffany Bonilla, youth pastors in Florida, share their experience marrying into a culture different than their own. They discuss language barriers, familial expectations, spiritual alignment, and more. Jonathan and Tiffany recommended: Andy Stanley Podcast The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman @ianmorgancron (author of "The Road Back to You") Take notes and soak up lots at marriage seminars and church! Read the Word of God You can find Tiffany and Jonathan on IG: @tiffboni + @jonboni_ Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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Changing GENERATIONAL Patterns in your Marriage w/ Montie + Rachael Easter Jun 30, 2020

Show notes

Rachael was born by artificial insemination to two moms and moved every few years while Montie grew up witnessing the outgrowth of "street life" and the conflicts that surround gang culture - their story about changing generational patterns in your marriage is one you don't want to miss. “One of the biggest impacts for both us, even when we were just dating, was going to families’ houses in the church and being blown away at the family interactions and all their love. Neither of us had seen that growing up.⁠ It was like a dream to look at them and think ‘We can create that for own family.’” Montie and Rachael Easter How do you pursue a godly relationship that was originally founded by the world’s standards? How do you create a thriving, two-parent household without having that example growing up? Come join the conversation on today's episode. You can find Montie and Rachael on IG: @rachael.easter + @montie_trc⁠ Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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PHYSICAL Attraction in Your Marriage w/ Pastor Myron Wideman Jr. Jun 23, 2020

Show notes

"Looks actually do matter," says Pastor Myron Wideman Jr., in reference to looking for a potential spouse. Myron is Karissa's former student in the Bachelor of Science in Human Development Program at Wilson University and he earned a concentration in Counseling. He's also the Associate Pastor at Dekalb UPC in Stone Moutain, GA (Metro Atlanta Area). In this episode, we discuss: Biblical Perspective of Physical Attraction Keeping up with Your Physical Appearance while Married Ways to Support Your Spouse's Eating/Exercise Goals Sex vs. Intimacy Scheduling Sex Coming to Bed Intentionally Myron Wideman Jr. recommended: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman Before You Say "I Do" by H. Norman Wright After You Say "I Do" by H. Norman Wright Dr. R.A. Vernon's 10 Rules of Dating by R.A. Vernon You can find Myron Wideman on IG: @myronwidemanjr Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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"Teach Me": Black Lives Matter Panel Interview for Juneteenth Jun 19, 2020

Show notes

Wow... We just finished learning from three amazing friends and colleagues about their experiences, perspectives, insight, and lessons. As we type this description (today, Juneteenth), our hearts are heavy and our motivation is high to listen, learn, and continue this conversation -- or as one of our panelists suggested, "Don't stop the conversation when it gets uncomfortable." Our prayer for you is that you can take down your walls as you listen to these stories and try to learn from the lessons that they teach us -- all of us. Our guests on the panel are: —Cynthia Eldridge: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and School Counselor at a Community Day School in Sacramento —Dr. Daniel Blash: Licensed Psychologist, Pastor, and Vice Dean of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at St. Louis University School of Medicine —Kevin Goward: Owner of a Signing Agent Service Company (Banking/Finance Industry for 16 years) and Licensed Minister Some of the topics that our panelists covered (based on your and our questions) are: Significance of Juneteenth Black Lives Matter as a statement vs. organization Identity as People of Color (Black, African-American) and Identity as a Child of God Experiences with racism as a child and adult (both decades ago and months ago) Statements like "All Lives Matter" Interracial Marriage Racism in the Church We had so many takeaways from this conversation, but we'd like to hear from you... What's something you learned today?

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LONG-DISTANCE Dating w/ Nic and McKenzie Norris Jun 16, 2020

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Nic and McKenzie Norris dated long-distance (from two different countries, actually), and they shared several tips from their experience in this interview. Listen in as we discuss: Benefits of Long-Distance Dating Challenges of Long-Distance Dating Immigration Communication Trust/Transparency Boundaries when Dating This was a special episode for us since McKenzie is actually Adam's sister. So it was fun reminiscing and laughing about old dating memories. Whether you're a dating couple (long-distance or not) or a married couple who dated long-distance, you'll really enjoy the reflections and nuggets of wisdom in this episode. Nic and McKenzie Recommended: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman You can find Nic and McKenzie on IG: @norris_clan_2.0 + @nicholasbertram Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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What's your ATTACHMENT style? How we LOVE w/ Linda Carlos, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Jun 09, 2020

Show notes

This was a special interview for us because Linda Carlos, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, was Karissa's supervisor before she became licensed several years ago. Linda was trained at Fuller Theological Seminary and has a deep understanding of how to integrate faith and practice. She has been a therapist for 30+ years, has two private practices in California and is an expert on attachment. In this podcast episode, Linda helps us understand attachment styles and how they impact our relationships as adults. Linda recommended: The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life (YouTube) How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles (You Tube) What Your Love Style Says About Your Childhood (YouTube) The Four Attachment Styles of Love (YouTube) How We Love (Quiz) Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do by Clinton and Sibcy Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson Created for Connection by Johnson and Sanderfer How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich You can contact Linda Carlos: lindacarlos@creeksidetherapists.com Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh

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Struggles, Setbacks, FAITH, and FACTS -- The Story of Dr. Daniel and Annemarie Blash Jun 02, 2020

Show notes

When faced with a cancer diagnosis, the way you respond (both as an individual and as a couple) speaks volumes of your maturity, character, and depth. We had the privilege of interviewing Dr. Daniel Blash and his lovely wife Annemarie Blash about various struggles and setbacks they've experienced in their lifetime together. Their response was unique and reflected the depth of trust they have in God -- a faith that doesn't deny the facts, but defies the facts. Together, Daniel and Annemarie pastor in St. Louis, Missouri and Dr. Blash also practices as a Psychologist in St. Louis, Missouri. Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com

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