Dear Son,

This is a safe space to build upon and reinforce the values of fatherhood. We'll explore the gaps between the current generation of fathers and fathers of generations past, and mature the dialogue that will close those gaps for the generations to come. Whether your passion is to be a great father or peel back the layers of why your father wasn't present in your life (physically and/or emotionally), this is for you. Let's grow through it.

Latest Episodes:

Dear Son, Tell Me Who You Are | DSP Ep 53 w/ James Johnson #fatherhood #identity #peerpressure Feb 03, 2023

Show notes

Enjoy the visual experience: https://youtu.be/Ij2CYiwvCF0

Dear Son, tell me who you are! I see what you are doing, but is that really you? I'm not sure how many households are addressing this, but it is critical for our children to understand the difference between their actions and their character. Adults struggle with this as well. As men, we often lead an introduction with our (job) title. "Hello, I'm Joe, Sr. Manager of blah blah blah."

In this episode, we have a transparent conversation about the dangers of not knowing who you are as a parent and how that can impact your children. We explore the challenges of the internet age and how information outside of the home outpaces the information provided inside the home. Considering that challenge, we had to evaluate whether the children are willingly conforming to behaviors that don't accurately reflect who they are, or if the pressure is so great that they don't see any other way to be.

We highly recommend that you consume the entire episode for the best results. Also, meet us in the comments or tag us with your opinion on social media via the links below. As always, we welcome your perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence

Three tips to help children deal with peer pressure

1. Talk to a trusted adult - Having a supportive and understanding adult to talk to can help children find the strength and courage to stand up to peer pressure.

2. Practice saying no - Role playing with a trusted adult can help children practice responding to peer pressure in a confident and assertive way.

3. Spend time with supportive friends - Spending time with friends who share similar values and beliefs can help children stay away from negative peer pressure. Encourage your child to make friends with peers who can be a positive influence.

Follow James: https://instagram.com/jeyblac

Follow the show: https://instagram.com/thedearsonpodcast

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

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Dear Son, That's MY Wife | DSP Ep 52 w/ James Johnson #fatherhood #jealousy #attention Jan 26, 2023

Show notes

Enjoy the visual experience: https://youtu.be/Ij2CYiwvCF0

Sometimes men get struggle with the dual roles of father and husband. In fact, we can be downright jealous of our children when their needs supersede our physical and emotional needs as a husband. “Hey Son…get off my wife!” Is that unrealistic? Is there a way to balance the roles? What is balance?!

In this episode, we have a transparent conversation about the responsibilities of fatherhood and how they impact the romantic relationships in our homes. We’re both fathers and husbands with relatively large families, but the household dynamics are different. This resulted in a healthy dialogue and several meaningful revelations along the way.

Consider the following recommendations when assessing your current performance as a father and a husband (or significant other).

Three Tips to Balance Being a Father and a Husband

Make time for yourself - As a father and husband, it can be easy to put your own needs last. However, make sure to carve out some time for yourself each day. Whether it’s a few minutes of meditation, reading a book, or going for a walk, having some “me time” can help you stay balanced and energized for your family.
Connect with your spouse - Make sure to keep the lines of communication open with your spouse. Talk about how each of you are feeling, what’s going on in your life, and how you can support each other. It’s important to stay on the same page and stay connected.
Prioritize family time - Create meaningful family time each week. Whether it’s having a family dinner, playing a board game, or going out for ice cream, make sure to carve out time to be together and appreciate each other. This will help create strong bonds and build memories that will last a lifetime.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

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I Almost Died | Ep 51 Featuring James Johnson and Lester Jackson #widowmaker #heartfailure #stemi Jan 17, 2023

Show notes

Visual experience: https://youtu.be/CpbNyHLJfBk

"That time I almost died" is a phrase often thrown around in jest to make light of a scary experience or over-exaggerate an experience that wasn't so serious. This conversation doesn't fit into either category. Les provides a transparent account of the day his life changed for ever. One seemingly regular morning ended in emergency surgery, saving his life from the second heart attack he experienced in the same day. Summarizing it in this description won't do it much justice, so you'll need to consume the entire episode to get the full benefit.

This season of the show will focus on men's health and identity. Consider these prompts as you prepare to join or continue on this journey with us. Join us via social media or via our website (links below).

Why do some men avoid doctor visits?

Men often feel embarrassed to discuss their health concerns with a doctor, or they may fear that they will be given bad news. They may also be intimidated by the medical environment and feel uncomfortable asking questions. Additionally, there is social stigma that men should be strong and independent and not need medical help, which can lead to a reluctance to go to the doctor. It's important for men to recognize that regular check ups and preventive care are essential for maintaining their health, and that seeking medical help is a sign of strength.

Five tips to become a more confident father.

1. Spend quality time with your children. Doing activities together and having meaningful conversations can help build a strong connection and help boost your confidence.

2. Learn something new. Whether it's a new hobby, language, or skill, taking on something new and challenging can help you feel more capable and confident.

3. Take time for self-care. Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential to feeling confident and being a good father. Make sure you are taking time to do activities you enjoy and get enough rest.

4. Celebrate your successes. Acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small. Doing so can help you feel proud and boost your confidence.

5. Reach out for support. Having a supportive network of family and friends can help you stay confident and motivated as a father. Don't be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.

Three tips to help men improve communications with their family.

1. Make time to talk: Make it a priority to set aside time to talk to your family members regularly. Even if it’s just a few minutes each day, it’s important to stay connected and to be present in your conversations.

2. Listen and be patient: Communication isn’t just about talking. To be an effective communicator, it’s important to listen to what your family members have to say and be patient as they speak. It also helps to be aware of nonverbal cues and body language so that you can be sure to understand what is being said.

3. Be respectful and open-minded: Respect is key in any relationship, and family is no exception. Always strive to be respectful of your family’s opinions and be open to different points of view. This will help to foster an environment of understanding and growth.

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #grandfather #son

Follow Les: https://instagram.com/inspirvations

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help others through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

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What I Wish My Father Told Me | Ep 50 Featuring Eli, Donovan, and Leonard Johns Dec 29, 2022

Show notes

Enjoy the visual experience: https://youtu.be/aZX-HGscTek

This is the episode that I have been waiting for. I finally sat down with my father and my sons to discuss the history of fatherhood in my family. “What I wish my father told me” is not an indictment on my father, or on me for that matter. The fatherhood journey is nuanced and more dynamic than static at any stage. For every meaningful lesson that I learned late, I want my sons to learn earlier (from my experience when possible).

We talked through the positive and negative tendencies that have been consistent in my family for generations. While some ideologies continued out of tradition, we found others to be very intentionally passed down for good reason. Everyone had a voice. For context, my youngest son was seven at the time of this recording, and, my father, 74…everyone had a voice. I spent parts of the conversation intrigued, proud, envious, and ultimately grateful. We need more of this.

My father counseled us on the value of painful experiences. Sometimes these are necessary to develop a man’s character, his sense of worth, and his moral compass. I understand the principle very well, yet I struggle with allowing my sons (or any of my children) to experience hurt when I can prevent it. This is a disservice to them in some regards…I’m working on it.

There’s so much more to say, and that’s what the episode provides. Listen all the way through to get the greatest value. Have you had a conversation like this with your family? If not, what is the roadblock preventing it? As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #grandfather #son

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

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2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

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Dear Son, The Streets Don't Love You | Ep 49 | Featuring: Martez Gurley-El Dec 07, 2022

Show notes

Enjoy the visual experience: https://youtu.be/0UTlcdZ6MnI

Dear Son, the streets don’t love you. This message may not be an awakening for you, but so many young men learn this lesson through jail or death (of others). Though the story typically includes at least one of those outcomes, the backstories of these young men are nuanced. For many, their parents (or caregivers) were not aware of their street activity. In other cases, the parents (or caregivers) turned a blind eye because they enjoyed the financial benefit of the street life.

In this episode, Martez Gurley-El gives us a look into his journey to and through the streets and provides a perspective on what that life cost him personally, financially, and professionally. He is a thriving positively contributing member of his community, a loving husband, and father of four young men. We discussed the parallels of street life and business, and how he has parlayed the objective success principles into a thriving business.

Marty, as he is most affectionately known, has a passion for people. You can find him sharing his wisdom and experiences with anyone who will listen or working in partnership with multiple non-profit organizations such as People Helping People and The Friendship Lottery. Even when his time and energy are for profit, he approaches business with a strong desire to help his clients identify the best solution and form lasting business partnerships whenever possible.

You won’t regret the time you invest into this episode. Listen to the full conversation to get the maximum benefit. As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence

Follow Marty:

https://instagram.com/iesports.llc

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2. Heal from trauma

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“Better Man. Better Father.”

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Queens Raising Kings | Ep 48 w Queens of Kings Podcast #singlemom #boymom Nov 11, 2022

Show notes

Get the visual experience https://youtu.be/GI_fcc6c1Dk

Parenting is a team sport, even when it isn’t. There’s an infinite number of circumstances that determine why or how a child lands in a single-parent home. While single parenthood is not an indictment on the child’s future, it can present challenges that weigh heavily on the primary custodial parent. How do single mothers navigate that process without losing it? The work is nuanced for every situation, yet the show must go on.

In this episode, Gelina and Jondrea, hosts of the Queens of Kings Podcast, share their journey to and through single parenthood. Both are raising young black kings. They provide a transparent view of the challenges and heartbreak they experienced in prior relationships, which also yielded their greatest blessings, their sons. We walked through the range of emotions each of them experienced during their healing journeys, and how those lessons inform and empower them today.

We also discussed the importance a positive male influence, be it the biological father or a #FatherFigure, they know their boys need to see certain behaviors and characteristics that a mother just cannot model. How else does a boy learn how to become a man? There are many narratives and agendas that attempt to devalue the importance of two-parent homes or positive co-parenting relationships that are endangering current and future generations. In some instances, boys are unfairly levied with grown man expectations in the absence of a responsible man in the house.

Let’s be clear, Gelina and Jondrea are great mothers. This episode broadened my perspective on how my actions as a father impact how my daughters see and understand men. What has been your parenthood experience? If you could choose one lesson to learn without the pain you experienced while learning it, what would that be?

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #parenthood #singlemom #blackfathers #fatherandson #divorce #lifeafterdivorce #blackexcellence #breakups

Follow Gelina:

https://instagram.com/trulygelina

Follow Jondrea:

https://instagram.com/drea_rozay

Follow the Queens of Kings Podcast

https://instagram.com/queensofkings_podcast

Also, if you've made it this far, don't forget to:

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

1. Reveal trauma

2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

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Reprogramming How We Parent | Default Dad | Ep 47 | Reggie George, Shawn Serfass, James Johnson Nov 04, 2022

Show notes

Watch the video version: https://youtu.be/-wwAu0DM5-A

Fatherhood is a learned behavior. Many of us mimic the behaviors that we saw or experienced growing up...sometimes to a fault. Children are like algorithms that are constantly being updated by some supernatural software. What worked on us as children isn't guaranteed to work on our children, and, inevitably, there will be a need to reprogram the way we parent.

In addition to the child evolving, the parent is also evolving. That evolution may have positive and negative phases, which might be processed differently by the child and the parent. These nuances make parenting difficult to navigate, and sometimes we must abandon the default parenting behaviors and reprogram the way we operate.

This episode explores the journey of four fathers from varying backgrounds and highlights several vulnerable moments that changed the way they dad.

Shawn Serfass is struggled with drug addiction at a young age, which ultimately landed him in prison. He spent the time behind bars working on himself to become a better man and father to the son he left behind. His experiences have fueled his purpose, and today he is a reputable member of society, advocate for at-risk youth, loving husband, and a great father. He's also a successful owner of the "2nd Chance Fitness" brand with two fitness facilities located in Texas (Mansfield and Midlothian).

Follow Shawn:

https://instagram.com/Shawn2ndChance

Reggie George, the owner of the "Father Figure" brand, shares a riveting testimony of faith. His family experienced unimaginable trauma when his teenage twin daughter was stabbed in the head at school by another male student. The details are too dark to share here...just know that God restores. Through this journey of faith, Reggie identified his purpose of building an international community of father figures to ensure every child has a positive male influence to help them navigate life. This is an ambitious mission; indeed, however, the Father Figure brand is growing at warp speed. All of which, he credits to the Father above.

Follow Reggie:

https://instagram.com/FatherFigureApparel

James Johnson (co-host) provides a very transparent view of his experience as a father during his first marriage and what he experiences today in his current family dynamic. Divorce hurts all parties involved in some manner. His relationship with the children from the first marriage are strained, and you can see the pain in his demeanor as he talks about it. The lessons learned facilitated his growth as a man, but it is bittersweet at best. "Pay attention," he says. The message is to be mindful of your behavior and how it impacts those around you, especially the children. Don't learn the lesson at the expense of your relationship.

Follow Shawn:

https://instagram.com/JeyBlac

Me...well, I get pretty vulnerable as well (per usual). Enough about that though, this is a very meaningful discussion, and I pray that it blesses you. As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #survivor #overcomeaddiction #fatherfigure

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

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2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

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Finding Profit In Your Purpose | Ep 46 w Phillip Washington, Jr. Oct 27, 2022

Show notes

Finding profit in your purpose is a life hack, but many of us think that these are conflicting principles. For those that are courageous enough to jump into the deep end of the purpose pool with both feet, that leap of faith is also paired with financial frustrations as the money may not flow steadily if at all. Now the reward isn't due simply because the individual went 'all-in,' but there is a reasonable path to finding fulfillment...and funding.

Entrepreneurship is a roller-coaster kind of journey. To be successful you must grow individually, make tough decisions and sacrifices, and (where applicable) keep your personal relationships together. Sometimes the challenge is that the people around you aren't growing, stretching, and changing at the rate that you are. This is especially critical in marriages; more so if entrepreneurship wasn't in the cards when you got married.

Phillip provides some very practical perspectives about his journey to become a successful small business owner. We also discussed the importance of podcasting to the future of business. The industry is still relatively new, and opportunities abound. As a father transitioning into full-time entrepreneurship, this was an important conversation for me. I want my sons to know that you can be a responsible provider while doing something that you love.

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #entrepreneurship #smallbusinessowner #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence

Follow Phillip:

https://instagram.com/askphillip

Checkout his podcasting course:

http://phillipwashingtonjr.com

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Let’s connect socially:

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The Three Foundational Pillars of the DSP Community

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2. Heal from trauma

3. Help through telling stories of it all

“Better Man. Better Father.”

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But Now I See | Life in The Blind | Ep 45 w Poetré Oct 18, 2022

Show notes

Many of us take our senses for granted until one of them is compromised. Furthermore, once compromised, how would you respond? Personally, I cannot imagine living life without physical sight (or any sense for that matter), especially as a father with young children. This conversation gives us a bit of perspective on what life is like for the father and the child.

Poetré is a rare breed. He’s an artist’s artist. His soul is seasoned, and it shines vividly through his music. This conversation reveals his joyful outlook on life, which can be credited to the example set by his hero, his father. He paints the picture of a loving father, who was always hustling to ensure his family never lacked. A musician as well, his father is a chip off the Stevie Wonder block. His mastery of the keys is the primary qualification for that comparison; however, losing his sight made the parallel more convincing.

Poetré is a gifted writer with roots founded in the spoken word genre. He admired his father from the toddler stage and could be found somewhere nearby playing the drums as his father played the keys. His music has soul…meaning…life! Some songs are heavier than others, but they all seem to just feel good. There just might be a snippet from his next single somewhere in the episode. There’s so much more to say, but that’s what the episode is for. Grab a snack. This is a good one!

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #Gastroparesis #diabetes #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence

Follow Poetré: https://instagram.com/iam_poetre

Consider supporting the By Faith Not Sight non-profit organization: https://byfaithnotsight.org

“We aim to support, bring hope, and encourage families and individuals who experience various types of illnesses such as Gastroparesis, Diabetes, and other stress related illnesses.” (Excerpt from website)

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Fatherhood Advice from 1918 | Business. Responsibility. Fatherhood | Ep 44 w Kevin Stallings Oct 11, 2022

Show notes

This episode is the epitome of the platform's mission. In order to bridge the generational gaps, we need to understand perspectives of those that blazed the trail before us. How was fatherhood shaped in the early 1900s? Did the dads of old face similar challenges that are prevalent today?

In this episode, Kevin Stalling shares a rich family history of entrepreneurship, business ownership, world-traveling, and, unfortunately, loss. He credits his father for molding him into the successful father and business-owner that he is today, and his big sister for teaching him the ways of the world.

Kevin's fatherhood journey wasn't without hardships. He shared how the initial news that he would be a father was "the worst thing" at the time. Let's be clear, he wasn't on a path to be a deadbeat dad. He just wasn't prepared. That phase didn't last long, and Kevin adapted to his greatest calling in life, fatherhood. I don't consider his story to be the typical experience, but there were many themes that resonated with me.

As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence

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