Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Latest Episodes:

212: Have you had a disappointing love life? (ft. Dr. Thomas Jordan) Jul 08, 2022

Show notes

"I was raised by a mom who was dependent, controlling, and self-centered. Then I looked for women like that."

So begins this episode about what it's like to attract the wrong kind of women repeatedly ... and then do something different to get a different result.

The root of the word "familiar" is family — what we learn in the family is familiar. So what did you learn in your family system, and is it serving you now in your ability to form healthy attachments with romantic partners?

If you didn't have good role models, fear not! You can un-learn what you learned in the past. It is possible to grow, heal, and attract healthy partners. If you've ever felt like giving up on love, or you just don't understand relationships, or dating or sex or any of it -- listen to this.

“Living without love in your life” mentioned in this episode: https://lovelifelearningcenter.com/how-to-live-without-love-in-your-life/

211: One of the deepest modalities I've encountered thus far (ft. Jessica Hagan) Jul 01, 2022

Show notes

Most men I work with want a healthy, happy love relationship. Yet it often feels like there's something in the way -- some kind of block or sense that there's something "wrong." This can even provoke the kind of loneliness that leads to thoughts of suicide.

If this is you, then one thing to include in your awareness is your family lineage. You likely know your parents had a massive impact on who you became. But did you know you can carry legacy burdens from grandparents and even older ancestors?

Family constellations, or family systems constellations, is one of the deepest and most profound modalities I've ever come across. It's a kind of somatic therapy -- a way of healing on a body level, in community. Listen to learn how family constellations can help with chronic and seemingly intractable patterns like attachment issues, feelings of isolation and abandonment, and even the desire to die.

Books mentioned in this episode:

The Constellation Approach: Finding peace through your family lineage

Even If It Costs Me My Life: Systematic Constellations and Serious Illness

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How to overcome anxious attachment; how to overcome avoidant attachment; how to deal with anxious/avoidant attachment; how to become securely attached; how to get to secure attachment.

210: Dating after 40 -- turns out it can be better than ever (ft. Jade Chang Sheppard) Jun 24, 2022

Show notes

When Jade got divorced and entered her 40s, she had some fears and uncertainties ... especially after going to The Internet for advice. But her explorations of sex, dating, and relationships after 40 turned out to be both rewarding and hot. And she's sharing them with the world through her brand, Scarlet Society.

Whether you identify as a woman or man or something else, if you're doing the dating thing after 40, things can feel intimidating. Even if you're not divorced and just getting back out there, things can be hard —especially on the apps! Questions like, "What DO I want?" are appropriate. On this episode we cover things like:

What's it like being single again after years or even decades of being married?
What do you do when you've done everything society says you should do, but you still feel empty, or some sense of, "Is this all there is?"
Can I be a feminist and still be submissive in sex (or dominant)?
What exactly is ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and why is it gaining popularity?

Articles mentioned in this episode:

One Woman’s Guide to Feeld, the Alternative Dating App (https://bit.ly/3tYvaMX)
You should date a younger man -- really (https://bit.ly/3yfvDNj)

209: "I knew I wanted something different, but didn't know how to get there." (Jason Lange) Jun 17, 2022

Show notes

When Jason was in his 20s he felt stuck and kind of numb. He'd never had sex. He'd had a really hard time with dating and relationships. He couldn't put his finger on it, but even outside of dating women it was like there was something missing in his life. Like he knew he wanted something different but didn't know how to get there.

Then he went to an in-person men's workshop. Within twenty minutes of work with a mentor, he got to a place he hadn't gotten to in 3 years of talk therapy. It was a transformative experience that released something that had been stuck in him for decades. In a way, it set him free and set him up for the life he actually wanted to lead.

Why is in-person men's work important? What's different about live personal growth work?

If whatever had the thought, "Whatever I'm doing isn't working," you're not alone. And it doesn't have to stay that way. Give this a listen. It might just change the game.

208: GuyTalk: "I used to suck at girls ... and now I don't." Jun 10, 2022

Show notes

Ever felt like you suck at girls? Examples:

You just don't know what you're doing when it comes to dating (or sex, or relationships)
Getting along really well with women in general but when it comes to initiating with a woman you like, you freeze up
Wondering how to approach women without being creepy

Whether you're a late bloomer, you feel like you're lagging behind and other guys know how to do this better, or you're just unsure in this area of your life, you're not alone!

Here, four real men get personal with respect to how much they used to not know what to do when it came to sex, dating, or relationships with women.

Then they go into how far they've come! Several are actively dating or in a relationship now, and they get specific about what changed that had them feel more secure.

It turns out things get a lot easier when you figure out how, as a man, to lead in life and love in a way that's genuinely authentic to who you are (not some pickup artist nonsense).

If you're looking for a little hope and inspiration, this isn't one to miss! Also you don't want to miss one man's description in this episode of "somewhat coed situations." ;)

207: Staying together for the kids? There are things you should know. (ft. Jason Lange) Jun 03, 2022

Show notes

Should you stay together for the kids? It's a critical question. When a relationship/marriage isn't working (say because your sex life is dead) but you're great co-parents, it can be confusing. Should you stay together because that gives the kids "stability"? What does that really mean? Here, we talk about how healthy vs. unhealthy relationship dynamics affect your children, whether "making it work" actually works, and what you role model to your kids daily, without even saying a word. Growing often requires getting uncomfortable, but if you want your family to truly thrive, sometimes facing discomfort is the bravest thing of all.

206: “Our first sex was terrible ... and here's why I married him” (ft. Anna Rova) May 27, 2022

Show notes

Ever wondered whether you can have a passionate marriage even if the beginning was rocky? Ever wanted to know what powerful, sexy women really want from their partners? Here, Anna Rova shares her experience of moving from a less-than-stellar first sexual experience with a man, to saying YES to marrying him a year later. How does that work!? The answer is pretty great ("Oh, he definitely didn't have game when we met."). We also cover what it means for strong, successful women to "do the work," stories about men, the role of dating & relationships in the modern world, and the future of fully awake, alive partnerships.

205: So an introvert and an extrovert walk into a bar… (ft. Jason Lange) May 20, 2022

Show notes

… and get into a relationship. ;) What then!? How does being an introvert or extrovert impact your sex, dating, and relationship life? How do you make sure to get enough alone time while also getting enough connection? Negotiating things like how much time you spend together is critical in maintaining a healthy & loving partnership, and knowing yourself and how to support your partner makes you masterful at relating (which, let’s be honest, makes you sexy). As Jason is a strong introvert and I’m a strong extrovert, this is a fun episode with lots of personal stories and meaningful questions.

204: GirlTalk: Gettin' down and dirty. We're talking blow jobs! [replay] May 13, 2022

Show notes

If you're a man who has sex with women, chance are you'd love to know how women really feel about going down. We got you. In this frank discussion, we talk about how we feel about giving blow jobs in casual dating scenarios vs. committed relationships, what makes a BJ particularly awesome to us, and the differences between engaging in oral sex on someone else vs. receiving oral ourselves. We also touch on power dynamics, porn, sexual satisfaction, and how giving a BJ can be a very hot experience -- for both the giver and receiver. If you've been wanting to improve your marriage or help your sex life, you may also find some valuable tips here. Fellatio-my. ;)

203: Let's Get Real Bro: Is the missing piece in your relationship life bros? (ft. Weston Karnes) May 06, 2022

Show notes

When you think of the success of your relationship, or how to improve your marriage, the first thing you think of might not be how close your male friendships are. But if you're lonely (and you can definitely be lonely while you're dating someone or with your relationship partner -- hell, you can even be lonely during sex itself if it doesn't feel connected), then everything in your life is impacted.

Weston Karnes created the game Let's Get Real Bro to help make it really accessible for guys to connect with each other. Questions like, “If you were dating yourself, what parts would really suck?” -- are not ones you'd normally pose to your guy friends, but they can make conversations deeper, richer, and, well, funnier. If you've been feeling like there's something "off" in your sex, dating, or love life but can't put your finger on it, take a listen. There may be something here.

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