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Dear Dr. Tracy — Health & Fitness
Dear Dr. Tracy

Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.

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Latest Episodes:

Understanding Your Attachment Style to Help Strengthen Your Relationship Oct 27, 2020

Show notes

We all long to know that we matter to the ones we love. We have an innate need for emotional contact and security, and these attachment needs are healthy and adaptive.

But at times, we question if we are important to our partners or if we matter.

When our attachment figures - our partners - are not reliably accessible and supportive, the ability to securely attach is undermined. Insecurity develops when there are repeated experiences of nonattunement and noncontingent communication, and our partners are repeatedly unavailable and rejecting. How we ask for our needs will depend on our attachment style. When we do not feel secure, we must find other ways to cope with this stress.

How can we cope when we struggle with insecurity? This is exactly what I talk about in this episode. I sit with Elizabeth Earnshaw, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist. She owns A Better Life Therapy in Philadelphia, PA where she and her colleagues have supported hundreds of couples. Elizabeth also writes and speaks on relationships. She shares many of her insights on her Instagram account, @lizlistens, and within her membership program Love Lessons 365.

In this episode, we discuss:

4:54 - What is attachment theory
14:37 - How can someone who is more anxiously attached become more secure?
18;40 - What does avoidant attachment look like?
23:12 - What is key for the development of secure attachment?
31:48 - How to train your body in those tough disagreements
37:39 - A conversation around “We marry our unfinished business”
42:07 - Strategies for next steps

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Growing Compassion and Kindness in Your Relationship Sep 08, 2020

Show notes

We all have triggers.

Our partners all have triggers.

And they are not always the same things.

Building a relationship that brings an understanding of each other’s triggers, strengths and differences is complicated.

When we bring compassion, understanding, kindness and accountability into our relationships, our love and connection blossoms.

In this episode, Michaela Thomas, clinical psychologist, couples therapist and founder of the private psychology practice The Thomas Connection, and I discuss build compassion for healthy and strong relationships:

7:23 - The Fire Triangle of Relationships

22:59 - The 3 Parts of Compassion

29:12 - Motherhood & Compassion

33:13 - Defining Compassion & Mindfulness

46:07 - What you can do in your relationship to start using compassion

Links From This Episode:

Michaela Thomas on IG

Pause*Purpose*Play Group on Facebook

The Thomas Connection

The Lasting Connection Book Now Available

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When You Doubt Yourself: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome Aug 11, 2020

Show notes

In June of this year, I was asked to speak at a conference on imposter syndrome for women in business. Being one of my goals for the year, I was super excited and quickly said yes.

Then, a feeling crept in.

This feeling of “who are you to speak in front of all those women?” and “do you really have anything to share that they already don’t know?”

Have you been there before? When you start feeling like an imposter and that you are not qualified or worthy of that opportunity?

That’s what Amanda Tobe, an Industrial Organizational Psychologist from Toronto, Canada, and I are diving into on the podcast today: Imposter Syndrome. Whether this is a new term for you, or an old familiar face, Amanda shares how to move beyond imposter syndrome that may be holding you back:

7:10 - Amanda’s personal experience with Imposter Syndrome
8:58 - What is Imposter Syndrome?
12:21 - How your core beliefs support Imposter Syndrome
21:14 - Imposter Syndrome and Self Sabotaging
22:19 - The 3R’s to help you overcome Imposter Syndrome
37:07 - Growth Mindsets and the Key Factors
41:32 - How you can use fear in a positive way

Links from this episode:

Free E-Book: Leading Through Crisis and Transition: A COVID19 toolkit to help you lead with strength, intention, and grace

Book: Own your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt and Succeed in Life (by authors Lisa Orbé-Austin and Richard Orbé-Austin

Book: Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

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The Self-Sabotaging That Leads You to Bear The Mental Load Jul 21, 2020

Show notes

We know that women and mothers carry a higher mental load than their partners. It isn’t just completing the household and childcare tasks, it is also the mental and emotional work that it takes to remember to do these tasks.

The mental load became even more evident to me after my second child was born. It wasn’t just going to the doctor appointments for check ups, it was remembering to schedule them. It wasn’t just showing up for the birthday parties, it was buying the gifts and remembering to RSVP.

In this episode, Dr. Morgan Cutlip, relationship coach and owner of My Love Thinks, and I discuss the mental load:

5:05 - Our own stories of addressing the mental load in our relationships
8:19 - Taking the invisible and making it visible
16:28 - How women tend to self-sabotage addressing the mental load
29:28 - Dealing with the guilt that shows up when we start to change
39:09 - How to address this with our partners

To find out more about Dr. Cutlip, you can visit her blog here, check out her course for couples on coping with the mental load, and be sure to follow her on Instagram.

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The Mindsets that Lead to Burnout Jul 13, 2020

Show notes

When I returned to work after my second maternity leave, I was doing it all.

Eight clients back to back.

An hour commute home.

Nursing my daughter.

Building a website.

Creating a podcast.

The list goes on. I was feeling exhausted. I was often dizzy and short of breath (despite looking after regular meals, water intake, and sleep). And then my body started screaming at me, telling me that I needed to stop.

This. Was. Burnout.

If you have experienced burnout, or think you might be experiencing it, you are not alone. In this episode, I speak with Mallory Rowan, coach and speaker, and a recovered woman from burnout, about moving towards living your life and business in alignment with what matters most to you:

9:26 - Mallory’s experience with burnout
13:01 - Signs and symptoms of burnout
18:39 - How to start recovering from burnout
26:49 - The mindsets that put us at risk for burnout
30:41 - Mallory’s non-negotiables for managing self-care
44:26 - Strategies to help live a meaningful life

For Mallory’s free guide to help you master your Instagram bio, click here.

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Learning to Pause: Letting Go of Being the Perfect Mother Jul 06, 2020

Show notes

Overwhelmed.

Can you relate to this feeling?

Overwhelmed with the number of things you need to get done. From cleaning the house, homeschooling your kids, organizing meals, working, maintaining friendships, and connecting with your partner - the list goes on.

But what would happen if you took a pause? Took a deliberate moment to rest through the day.

In this episode, I connect with Allison Keating, founder of bWell Clinic in Ireland, about how we can move out of the mindset of being a perfect woman and giving ourselves the space to not always please, perform or be perfect. Here are a few of the highlights:

5:32 - What does the ‘striving mode’ look like?
9:53 - The Pause
12:03 - Reflecting to determine where we learned our norms from
19:43 - What’s the impact on our relationships with our partners and children?
21:43 - Strategies to help you let go of the overwhelm
37:53 - Ways to start to nourish and replenish yourself

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When Friendships Change: How to Deal with Friendship Breakups Jun 29, 2020

Show notes

Friendships are hard, particularly as adults. Many of us believe that the quality of our life is based on the number of people we can count on as friends. The more friends we have, the better off we are.

So when we go through a friendship breakup, it's hard to understand that it’s not necessarily about the type of person we are, or the kind of life we live, but rather a part of any relationship and personal growth.

To dive deeper into the world of friendships, I had the honour to speak with my good friend, Dr. Miriam Kirmayer. We spoke about:

How we relate friendships to success
How can friendships change?
What are changes appearing in our friendships through COVID
How can we support our friendships through change
How to give you friend feedback
How to decide when you need to let go of a friendship
Ways you can choose to end a friendship
How do you mourn the loss of a friend and why do they hurt so badly?

Want to learn more with us?

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer and I have a special bonus. We were asked what it’s like to build friendships as therapists. So, we had a candid and unscripted conversation around what it’s like to make friends as a professional.

If you are a professional, a therapist, or curious about friendships, head over to drtracyd.com/friends to download this bonus episode.

To learn more about Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, visit her website or follow her on Instagram.

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Coping Strategies During Times of Difficulties Jun 22, 2020

Show notes

There is so much happening in the world today. The events taking place are outside of our control, from COVID19 to the Black Lives Matter Movement.

So that is why today’s podcast brings my favourite colleagues from across North America to share their top way of coping with the challenges so many of us are facing in the world today.

Here is the list of experts sharing on this episode:

Dr. Rachel Goldman, Clinical Psychologist in New York City, New York, on the importance of daily check-ins. www.DrRachelNYC.com

Dr. Morgan Francis, Clinical Psychologist in Scottsdale, Arizona, on how to cope through the pressure of a whole body transformation after this pandemic. www.scottsdalepremiercounseling.com

Dr. Ann Louise Lockhart, Pediatric Psychologist, parent coach and business owner in San Antonio, Texas on the importance of connection over correction. w ww.anewdaysa.com

Dr. Betsy Chang, Clinical Psychologist in Newport Beach, California, shares about the power of teamwork in your relationship. www.DrBetsyChung.com

Hatty J Lee, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles California, dives into our own trauma responses and what happens when they are triggered. www.oakandstonetherapy.com

Dr. Shawn Horn, Clinical Psychologist, TEDx Speaker and host of the Inspired Living Podcast, shares what toxic shame is and how to work through it. www.drshawnhorn.com

Dr. Morgan Anderson, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Coach shares one mindset that you, as single women, could find helpful right now. https://www.drmorgancoaching.com/

Dr. Morgan Cutlip, Relationship Expert, Coach and Course Creator on how to shift the guilt of motherhood during this time. http://www.lovethinks.com/

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Living in a Pandemic: One Question to Ask Yourself Jun 22, 2020

Show notes

We are in a time of crisis. Moving into the summer, what is one question that you should be asking yourself.

Picture your life as a garden. Everything you can pour your energy into, everything that is important to you is a different plant.

You have a plant for each relationship (your children, your partner, your extended family), for career, friendships, self-care, etc. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine your garden.

When you can see your garden, now picture a watering can filled with water.

That watering can - that’s you.

You get to choose, each day, where you pour your water into. You only have 1 watering can; what will you choose today?

Launching Season 2 of I’m Not Your Shrink Podcast, I share the number one question we all need to be asking ourselves, which I have personally learned in the past year.

Looking for more with me?

Check out my weekly Q&A. Each Friday I answer your questions: https://drtracyd.com/blog

Join my 5-day challenge to help cope with crisis in your relationship: https://sendfox.com/lp/1x7ey3

Come join me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.tracyd/

Check out my new membership space for women who are looking to strengthen their relationship: https://beconnected.drtracyd.com

Looking to master stress and find balance? Check out my e-course to help you Cultivate Self-Compassion and Awareness: https://cultivating-awareness.teachable.com/p/from-stressed-to-balanced

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My 3 R's for Optimizing your Wellness this Summer May 27, 2019

Show notes

It's episode 12 and the season finale! In this episode I'm talking about my THREE R's for maximizing your wellness over the summer months. Be sure to get out a piece of paper because I challenge you to set an intention for this season, and I want you to write down one idea under each R! We know that when we write out our goals and intentions we are more likely to achieve them!

I look forward to touching base with all of you in Season Two! Want to get the latest updates and keep in touch? Sign up for my email list here.

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