Date Your Wife

Latest Episodes:

Surrender and Simplify | Date Your Wife | Ep 046 Nov 20, 2018

Show notes

As highly successful producers, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their business growth, their goals for the upcoming year, and how they are going to simplify the game moving forward.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Cleaning House

Danielle spent a portion of the year stepping outside of her business, watching it explode in growth, but at the same time, she realizes she may have stepped out a little too far.
The goal of 2019 inside of Wake Up Warrior is to unify the men, tighten up the game, and simplify it.

QUESTION

What areas of your life can you tighten up as we head into 2019?

Point #2: The Money Game

During the early years of their marriage, Danielle and Garrett were both working; Garrett was paying the bills and Danielle was stockpiling money.
While Danielle's father paid the bills, her mother paid for their lifestyle. Garrett's parents had the agreement that his mom would stay home with the kids, which she wanted to do, and his father would pay the bills.

QUESTION

What role did your parents play in the money game when you were growing up? What role do you play?

Point #3: Mommy Guilt

Many women wonder how they can work because it will take time away from their kids. It's Danielle's belief that working makes women less crazy.
Danielle: If you feel like you want to pursue those passions and talents of yours, do it. It's my belief that it makes you a different and better person.

QUESTION

As a wife and mother, what would be possible for your life if you began pursuing some of your passions and talents outside of the home?

Point #4: Different AND Equal

Back in the day, the economic engine of life was the home where both the man andthe woman were producers. Upon the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, a rift took place within the fabric of the home.
The trend that Garrett sees happening inside of this conversation of money is that women are seeing themselves as a vital piece of the production game, and at the same time, they don't want to do it alone.

QUESTION

How do you view your roles as producers?

Point #5: Power and Stress

A lot of men begin to feel inadequate if their wives are working; it's very frightening for them. They are weak men who get threatened by their wives having any kind of power.
Garrett's goal and target is to always make 10x more than Danielle. Danielle: Garrett deserves to make ten times the amount I do because I'm not willing to take on that stress.

QUESTION

As a man, how are your feelings of inadequacy affecting your relationship with your wife?

Communication Challenge:

Have a discussion about your current roles inside of your marriage. What would you like to change as you move into 2019?

Date Night Topic:

What are your passions and desires as a couple? What would you like to do together in 2019? Get out your calendars and start making plans.

Quote of the Week:

"If a woman controls sex AND money, it leaves a guy in a very interesting place. He has to be very confident and certain as a man."

—Garrett J White

"Maybe I could have been the best damn version of me had I not worked, but In my experience, me working has made our relationship better."

—Danielle K White

Sex On the Back Burner | Date Your Wife | Ep 045 Nov 13, 2018

Show notes

The White's have a conversation about their nine-day sex drought.

After experiencing a miscarriage earlier this year, Danielle wondered if she and Garrett had lost the fun in their sex life, even though they were both enjoying the 'let's-try-for-another-baby' sex
The time change, an increased workload, massive changes within their businesses, and Garrett turning Danielle down for the first time in their 17 year marriage, have all led to their current drought.

QUESTION

What is contributing to the droughts you're experiencing?

Point #2: One For The Team

When it's been a while, Garrett tends to go into this retreat mode where he doesn't even try to initiate sex with Danielle.
Garrett: When we experienced a drought in the past, I would begin thinking I was in the wrong relationship. Now, I just torch the shit out of people in business.

QUESTION

Where do you place your energy when you're in a drought?

Point #3: The Slip and Drift

Garrett: If we're three days into having sex twice a day on vacation, I'm that guy who could use a couple of days of rest.
When they're experiencing a drought, Danielle begins to lose that attraction factor, and both she and Garrett begin to feel that loss of attraction.

QUESTION

What actions do you take to get back that attraction factor?

Point #4: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix

Garrett played a video during the show called The Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix. You have your crazy axis and your hot axis. Hot is measured from 0 to 10, and Crazy is measured from 4 to 10.
You've got your No-Go Zone, your Fun Zone, your Date Zone, your Wife Zone, and your Unicorn Zone. Garrett: Danielle's a Unicorn: 4 Crazy and 14 Hot.

QUESTION

Where is your spouse inside this matrix?

Point #5: Just F***ing Do It!

At about seven days into a drought, most men begin to unplug from their wife. The best thing a couple could do at this point is to just have sex; just fucking do it.
During the podcast, Garrett and Danielle venture into a little sex talk foreplay with both committing to ending the drought after the show.

QUESTION

Where is your favorite place to end the drought?

Communication Challenge:

What would be possible for your relationship if you were to have a plan in place the next time a drought crops up out of seemingly nowhere?

Date Night Topic:

Have some fun with this: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix

Quote of the Week:

"When I turned you down for the first time in seventeen years and said I'm too tired, I think that hurt you, yet I've heard the same thing from you four thousand times!"

—Garrett J White

"When I feel a drift, that's usually when I bring out the morning sex weapon. Recognize the drift and correct it, otherwise, no relationship will work out."

—Danielle K White

Collide or Retreat? | Date Your Wife | Ep 044 Nov 06, 2018

Show notes

In this week's Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their conflicting parenting strategies – as well as possible solutions – as they reveal real-life challenges.

Danielle: I was raised as a Mormon where I felt like I had to be this perfect mom. If I work, I better figure out how to balance it all. As a result, there has been a lot of mommy guilt as I've tried to create a balance between all of the hats I'm wearing. One day the Voice said to me, "You will impact way more people if you pursue this passion [hair]." I've discovered that by pursuing my passion, I ultimately affect my children.
Garrett: There tends to be a war within women – women who produce and work outside the home, and women who work only inside the home. Both of these sides tend to throw stones at each other. At the end of the day, it's not about whether you produce outside or inside of the home. At some level as a woman, you have to give yourself permission to pursue a passion or purpose beyond your children.

QUESTION

As a couple, how do you feel about your wife pursuing her passions in addition to raising a family?

Point #2: If-Then Scenario

When asked by Garrett if she believes that producing outside the home makes her a better mom, Daniellereplied: I don't know. I know I'm a better me, but sometimes I feel like a shitty mom. There are moments as a kid that mold us. As much as I feel like I'm fucking up, hopefully, I have enough of those moments of me leading and guiding other women or of just being me where they're going to say "I want to be like my mom."
Garrett: She would only be giving a quarter of who she is to her children if she wasn't working. They would never see a woman taking a stand for her life. I know she's a better mother because she's a better producer. But this doesn't mean that every single woman listening to this must launch a business to be a better mom. At the end of the day, the key phrase is, as you are becoming better as a woman, then the relationship you have as a parent ultimately expands by default.

QUESTION

Do you believe you're a better mom because you do or because you do not work outside of the home?

Point #3: Conflicting Parenting Strategies

Garrett: You and I are very different people. As a result, we have very different parenting strategies. When there's a problem with our kids, I collide and conflict with them, while you pretend it's not there. Your parenting strategy is to literally ignore and hold out and wait for the storm to pass. Your game is: The tsunami is coming, get to high ground.
Danielle: When you get mad and yell at our girls, my thought is, "Garrett, they're girls. Don't yell at them like that!" When the girls are crazy emotional, I ignore them. When I'm pissed, my thoughts are: Just get out of my way, just let me be pissed. As girls, we tend to have more of an emotional side. So when I see that the girls have flipped their lid – and I can't get reel them back in no matter what I say – I know I need to give them space.

QUESTION

What are your parenting stratetgies?

Point #4: Assasin Attack vs Retreat to Higher Ground

Garrett: I have a different strategy: I don't ignore it. When the tsunami comes, I run down like Spartan 300 to hell's gate against a million people and I wage war on the ensuing enemy. I can see the same crazy spot where the storm cannot be negotiated with, but the difference is, I come in like an assassin in the night and grab the situation by the horns.
Danielle is uncomfortable with conflict, while Garrett is uncomfortable with sitting and allowing the storm to brew. "Danielle's picture of parenting is us running to high ground. I see that and I pee on it. My parenting plan is my wife's got war paint on her face, she's wielding a sword and a shield, and I'm yelling, "Woman, we're going to the front line!" I start running and when I look back, she's squatting and peeing on my parenting plan."

QUESTION

How are you relating to Danielle's and Garrett's differences in parenting strategies?

Point #5: Walk and Talk

Garrett: If the challenge is my daughter is a lot like me, here's the reality: If I had to get out of bed and then 15 minutes later had to be at school or work or anywhere, I'd be fucking crazy too. Last night, I asked my daughter to go for a walk. We held hands, we talked about how dad is crazy in the morning, and how I noticed she's also experiencing a lot of crazy in the morning.
We've implemented The Walk and Talk with our daughter, and I've also brought it to the Warrior brotherhood: You go for a 30-minute walk with your child, you hold hands, and just let them talk. The whole focus is to let them get their feelings out, to validate those feelings, and to throw yourself under the bus, thus giving your child the chance to be ok with being human.

QUESTION

Do you have a child where investing in a daily Walk and Talk would make a world of difference for them?

Communication Challenge:

What are your parenting strategies? If they are causing collision and confusion in your relationship and in your family, how you can unite them?

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation centered around your wife pursuing her passions beyond that of a being a wife and a mother.

Quote of the Week:

"For the guys out there, if I am a leader in my home, then this means I must also take the lead as a man on the parenting side, which means I've also got to take a stand for their greatness and in their weakness."

—Garrett J White

"I'm kind of an introvert, yet I believe if you find something you're passionate about, you can outgrow the person you think you are. For me, getting outside of my comfort zone is a new high that fuels me."

Momentum Is Money | Date Your Wife | Ep 043 Oct 30, 2018

Show notes

Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about momentum in this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. It has taken many years for the White's to get to a place where they are experiencing momentum in all areas of their life and share with their listening audience through stories and experiences what has brought them to the place where, only a few short years ago, they wondered if they would even make it.

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Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Tipping Point

Danielle feels like her business has hit a tipping point, leading her to the conclusion that it's the small things in life that push people forward.
She questions why so many people are not consistent with those small things that create momentum, knowing they would ultimately lead them to the outcomes they desire.

QUESTION

Where in your world have you experienced the momentum of the tipping point?

Point #2: Marriage Is a Lifestyle

Anything great takes a fucking long time to build. When people see the White's and their success, they begin wanting that in their marriage and become frustrated when it doesn't happen on their timetable.
Garrett: The number of years that you were a dumb-ass and caused a lack of momentum or momentum in the wrong or weak direction, is not going to be turned around in two days. The fundamental disciplined habits must be changed and maintained over time.

QUESTION

How can you demonstrate more patience in your marriage?

Point #3: Merry-Go-Round

Marriage is like a Merry-Go-Round: It takes great effort to get it moving at first as you grab on with both hands and push hard. Pretty soon you can give it a little push and it keeps going because momentum has kicked in.
Inside of marriage, many people kill the momentum by quitting before they hit the tipping point. Others experience momentum but take their eyes off the prize, losing the edge and the momentum they have gained.

QUESTION

Where is your relationship within this conversation of the Merry-Go-Round?

Point #4: Gaining Momentum

The fastest way to gain momentum is to start going on dates every single week. Start taking your wife on Date Nights and each day send her notes of love, honor, and appreciation. She's got to know that these are not going to stop.
Momentum is built inside of your marriage and business when you build up momentum inside of yourself. Garrett and Danielle are at a point where, when they collide, there is so much momentum, certainty, and power within each of them that neither one of them can stop the other.

QUESTION

What can you do to start gaining or increasing momentum in your relationship?

Point #5: Character and Contrast

During sticky phases, you're doing the work yet are becoming more bitter and angry towards one another. These are the times you must shift your energy. Once you have that momentum, do the little things to maintain that momentum.
Garrett loves the different characters and looks of Danielle from her formal look in Louis Vuitton's to her ponytail and Lulu pants. Danielle loves Garrett in a suit but finds him especially sexy when he wears a t-shirt and jeans.

QUESTION

What are the different looks of your partner that take your breath away?

Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation about the Flywheel Effect.

Date Night Topic:

What are some things you can do for each other to gain or maintain momentum within your relationship?

Quote of the Week:

"Business and marriage fall apart for the same reason: people let go of momentum OR they don't have the courage to keep pushing to even get to the point where momentum can begin."

–Garrett J White

"Sometimes we want to look at our business and marriage separately, but taking some of those business tactics and applying them to marriage isn't that far off."

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man. To begin your journey in living the Warrior's Way, click on these sites: warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

The Diabolical AND The Divine: Two Sides of One | Date Your Wife | Ep 042 Oct 23, 2018

Show notes

In this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett explore their Dark side, and share how embracing both the Dark and the Light has given them the freedom to find harmony inside of their relationship, within themselves, and with humanity.

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Danielle: Everyone is raised to put themselves in a box. As you get comfortable with yourself, you own EVERY side of yourself, including the crazy, but you learn how to manifest the crazy in a productive way.
Garrett: Most people cannot accept that there are literally two sides to them. I spent most of my life putting who I was, away: my desires, the anger, the rage, the fire, the questions, the sexual desire.

QUESTION

What is it about you that you are you hiding in a box?

Point #2: Super Power

Danielle: I can't operate as Susan all of the time, so it's literally learning how to cohesively live together with your multiple personalities. It's learning how to be cool with yourself and tapping into this dark, crazy side of you, looking at it as your Superpower. Ex: I gotta handle some shit in business, so Dark Susan's coming out. I gotta be a wife and a lover, so Danielle's coming out.
Garrett: Relationship is the ability for a person to be able to be ALL of themselves in a relationship. My mission for myself and for Danielle was to be able to figure out how to be ALL of ourselves. There's Dark Susan sex, and there's Danielle sex – totally different sex, both are amazing. As we become more adaptable to ourselves, I think our relationship blows up in a big, beautiful way.

QUESTION

How do you handle ALL of you? How do you use the different parts of you to your advantage?

Point #3: Critical Bitch

Garrett: Danielle has an aspect to her that I deeply love now but that I hated and loathed for most of our marriage, until the last four to five years. This side is what I considered to be Critical Bitch. Whatever was going on, there was always this chipping away, and for most of our relationship I thought, "Fucking crazy woman."
Anything to do with Danielle's dark side was viewed as wrong, broken, over-thinking. What I had viewed as critical, all of a sudden become powerful. She had the ability to see things clearly amidst the chaos, and not be sucked in by emotion.

QUESTION

What have you previously viewed as wrong or broken in your spouse, but now view as powerful?

Point #4: Embrace the Dark AND the Light

Garrett: When you start accepting that this is true inside of you – the Diabolical AND the Divine – when you accept that this is true about you, when you come to terms with and embrace and love both sides of you, you start to love and appreciate humanity and people around you at a level you never could before because you're not fucking hiding anymore.
Inside Wake Up Warrior, Warrior Woman, and Big Money Stylist, we lead individuals on this path that accepts the true power of who you are on both extremes: in the Dark AND in the Light, in the Night AND in the Light, so they can ultimately gain the purest sight of being able to see truth.

QUESTION

What part of you are you suppressing and not embracing?

Point #5: Submission vs Sedation

Danielle: How do I get to the end result I'm looking for in a particular situation? What are the steps required? It always requires submission at some level. Ultimately, I'm happier and get what I want. That overall feeling is better than retreating and closing down. Sedation can be a sneaky little bastard, and it can come in many forms.
Garrett: Most couples don't want to submit, so they sedate. They go to whatever they need to in order to avoid having to collide: they eat, drink, pop pills, ignore, delve into fitness. People go to religion to justify the shitty relationship they're in; that somehow it will be magical when they die.

QUESTION

Where inside of your relationship are you sedating to avoid collision?

Communication Challenge:

How has your upbringing affected your ability to embrace both the Darkness and the Light within you?

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about your particular Crazy. What is the name of your Dark side?

Quote of the Week:

"Individually, if you do not come to terms with the fact that you have a brilliant side that is filled with light, AND you have a brilliant side that is filled with Night, that your Crazy offsets your Creator, and that your Creator cannot exist without your Crazy; until you can come to terms with yourself on this, you will never find harmony long-term in a relationship with any other person, specifically with your wife."

–Garrett J White

"I think people sedate their blessing. They think their blessing is their curse, so they sedate the thing that can actually give them power. What if you looked at these things as a blessing and not a curse? What if you used these to learn how to navigate through life instead of sedating what God gave you as 'different?' What if you learned how to use it to your benefit?"

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man. To begin your journey in living the Warrior's Way, click on these sites: warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

Magic in the Moments | Date Your Wife | Ep 041 Oct 16, 2018

Show notes

This week's episode is from the recent Warrior Wealth for Women event in Dana Point, California, where Garrett and Danielle trained over 300 women in the art of making, keeping, and growing money.

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Many people sacrifice everything for their business and end up broken and run down. A lot of people think that money doesn't matter, or the if they do say it matters, they're looked upon as a greedy bitch.
You can only sacrifice so much before there's nothing left. Heart and sacrifice don't pay the bills, and no one is coming to save you.

QUESTION

Where in your world are you sacrificing and have nothing left?

Point #2: Doormat Dora

When you surround yourself with people and clients who don't value you, who don't value your service, and who don't value your time, you end up feeling like a doormat.
When you begin finding value in yourself, things begin to shift, and you start making new choices that align with the new level of value you see in yourself.

QUESTION

As you take a look inside your life, who are you surrounding yourself with?

Point #3: Magic in the Moments

There is a voice inside of you that will guide you through the war with yourself. God happens to be the closest spectator to spar with, to make you strong enough to go to war with you.
Look into the moments that occur, the moments that shift things forever, where the voice says, "Consider this." Listen for the moments where truth is laid out for you exactly how you need to hear it.

QUESTION

What magic moments are you hearing right now?

Point #4: Value the Shit Out of Yourself

When your calling, vision, and purpose are clear, you can become rest-less as you have this relentless yearning to run towards your goals.
As we prune and purge our lives, and begin valuing the shit out of ourselves, the clients and friendships we lose are the shit we are cleaning out of our systems and lives.

QUESTION

Where in your world do you need to do some house cleaning in order to create some space?

Point #5: Who Must I Become?

If you're raising the bar for yourself, can you honestly say you're giving the best possible experience that you know how to give?
Every day, you must kill yourself and become the next new version you, one step at a time. A new purpose must burn inside your heart; you hunt the money to find the next version of yourself.

QUESTION

What is the vision you have for yourself?

Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation around this idea of Magic in the Moments.

Date Night Topic:

What vision do you have for you as a couple inside this topic of Money?

Quote of the Week:

"Consider the purpose of your life is expansion; that money, marriage, and children are the trifecta of expansion."

–Garrett J White

"You have to be able to produce in order to find the next version of yourself."

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

Primal Connection |Date Your Wife | Ep 040 Oct 09, 2018

Show notes

On the heels of a fabulous weekend getaway to New York City, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about the importance of taking time away from their children and their day-to-day responsibilities, and reconnecting with each other as a couple on a deeper level.

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At least four times a year, Garrett and Danielle take long weekend trips to reset their relationship.
Before Garrett began committing to these getaways, he was unable to see the ROI in them. For ten years, he had a difficult time reconciling spending money on any types of vacations.

QUESTION

When was the last time you and your spouse went on a weekend getaway?

Point #2: Refresh and Unplug

In the Strategic Coach program, Dan Sullivan created the Entrepreneur Time System. Inside of that, you have Focus Days, Buffer Days, and Free Days.
When you go on weekend getaways, there are a couple of things that have to happen: 1- you must be able to refresh, and 2- you must be able to unplug.

QUESTION

What do you and your spouse do in order to come away refreshed from these getaways?

Point #3: Can't vs Can

You'll always find something that can get in the way of taking time away from the kids in order to be with each other; you don't have time, the conditions aren't right, it's either all or nothing.
A lot of times, we focus on what we can't do instead of what we can do. If your marriage is in a rough place, it's even easier to justify why you can't do something.

QUESTION

What excuses can you clear away in order to make room for weekend vacations with your spouse?

Point #4: Sexual Distance

When Danielle feels like they're in a weird place, she thinks back to the time when they were dating. "What were the behaviors I was doing that I don't do anymore?"
Garrett: If you have some distance sexually, it's very easy to get stuck in a routine where you start going through these phases: anticipation, desperation, fuck you, and apathy.

QUESTION

What are some things you did when you were dating that you're no longer doing?

Point #5: Primal Connection

If you don't get space away from your current environment, you can't return to the primal nature that actually connected you in the beginning. If
you're not connecting regularly, you end up inside of a stale relationship where you're simply partners in the game, sans the lust and the primal connection.

QUESTION

What are you doing to retain and ignite the primal connection you felt when you first met and dated your spouse?

Communication Challenge:

Take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about the things you loved doing together when you first met and while you were dating.

Date Night Topic:

Get your calendars out and plan your weekend getaways for the next 12 months.

Quote of the Week:

"I'm constantly creating opportunities inside of our relationship to have space away with Danielle."

–Garrett J White

"Let's hit the reset button before it gets too far into the fuck you mode."

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

Direct Communication | Date Your Wife | Ep 039 Oct 02, 2018

Show notes

Married co-hosts of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle K and Garrett J White, share their experiences with you each week as they do their best to navigate their way through this life. This week, the topic of conversation is Communication.

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Danielle attributes her direct communication to the fact that she's a Taurus. "They're actually sweet people, but if you set them off, you better get out of the fucking way."
In marriage, she believes you have to use tact when you communicate with your partner. She usually runs questionable things through the 'dating filter' before she sends them to Garrett: "If we were dating, would I say this?"

QUESTION

How often do you find yourself running your communication through filters?

Point #2: Don't Poke the Bear

Garret: Once Danielle is face down in the pillow, and the dog is curled up at her feet, I am now encroaching into the evil lair of insanity. I go about my evening routine knowing that Danielle is in comatose mode.
Danielle: Do you want to make love to your whiteboards, or do you want to make love to me? Just give me a little squeeze. If I respond, you're in luck; if I say nothing, you're shit out of luck.

QUESTION

What non-verbal signals and signs do you give to each other?

Point #3: Feeling Wanted

Garrett: There was a time I was unable to acknowledge to myself nor have a conversation with Danielle about the fact that sex was important to me. I was always indirect and hoping things would work out instead of directionally speaking to them. It was the same with my businesses.
Danielle: I started to understand that in order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted. Girls like and want sex, but I think it's more of being wanted, and having that attention and validation that my man is into me.

QUESTION

How do you make sure your partner feels wanted by you?

Point #4: Direct Communication

Garrett: Part of the conversation in our home is that we talk directly with each other, as well as in front of our children. Our kids have very strong opinions about things, and they use very powerful language.
I used to steer clear of direct communication in our marriage, particularly on the topic of sex, because I just did not know how to get over my story of feeling rejected and my pain of feeling so.

QUESTION

In what areas of your life do you have a challenge with direct communication?

Point #5: Running Man

Garrett: I had given myself permission for a very long time to allow our relationship to be on eggshells, mostly because I literally couldn't commit to much and I was always in a place where I was ready to bail.
About two years ago, a shift took place inside of Garrett causing the back door to completely disappear. Danielle noticed huge results after Garrett finally gave himself permission to commit and go all in.

QUESTION

What level of commitment do you have inside your marriage?

Communication Challenge:

Inside your relationship, where are you avoiding direct conversations? How is this impacting .your marriage?

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about this topic: "In order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted."

Quote of the Week:

"Commitment itself is the bridge or gateway to actual direct communication. If you're not committed to your marriage, or to the person you're married to, direct communication cannot happen."

–Garrett J White

"As we set our relationship up for success, it impacts so many other areas of our life, including the example we set for our children."

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

Go In With Love |Date Your Wife | Ep 038 Sep 25, 2018

Show notes

The conversation of Parenting is the theme of this week's episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, where the Whites discuss accountability, checklists, belief systems, unsolicited advice, and loving your kids no matter what.

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Garrett describes their eleven-year-old daughter as a morning psychopath. She sets her alarm to go off up to nine times every morning just so she can wake up and get out of bed.
Their seven-year-old daughter is very much into routines. It's almost as if she goes into auto-pilot in the morning and is good to go as long as everything is set up perfectly for her in advance.

QUESTION

How are your children similar? How are they different?

Point #2: Unsolicited Advice

Garrett is very committed as a parent to teaching the 'right' thing to his children. He's had people reach out to him offering unsolicited advice about their parenting styles.
Danielle: Everybody is super judgy about parenting styles, and at some level, every parent feels like they have fucked up their kids.

QUESTION

How do you handle unsolicited advice when it comes your way?

Point #3: I Love You No Matter What

If Danielle had to choose only one thing to teach their children, it would be accountability coupled with love. "If you could embed accountability and love into a kid, I think that would solve the world's problems."
Years ago, Garrett began telling his daughters, "I love you, no matter what." No matter what they do or say, he told them he will always love them.

QUESTION

If, as a parent, you could only teach your children one thing, what would that be?

Point #4: Boxes and Checklists

Just like in education, there's a box that people try to put their kids into of 'this is what it looks like to be successful." And anything that doesn't fit inside that box, they consider inaccurate or not right.
For most parents, they're always trying to get it "right" with their children, so they always feel guilty. And because they never get it 'right' based on a checklist that never ends, they don't focus on the actual belief systems they want to instill in their children.

QUESTION

How are you keeping your children inside a box?

Point #5: Core Beliefs

Garrett: You can teach your kids all kinds of tactics, but what are the important mindsets and skillsets that you 'should' teach your children? There are plenty of people who know how to do the dishes, yet are unable to produce in life.
I'm convinced that what people actually learn as children and what they take into their adult life is driven by the values and beliefs their parents instill in them, both by what they say and by what they watch their parents do.

QUESTION

What are the core beliefs that you are brainwashing your kids to believe that are empowering them as people?

Communication Challenge:

What are the actual belief systems that matter to you, and that you are instilling in your children? What are the beliefs about themselves and the world that you are consciously depositing into them?

Date Night Topic:

On your next Date Night, have a conversation about how you want your children to remember your interaction and love connection as a couple.

Quote of the Week:

"I was blown away when I got married at how horrifically unprepared I was to be a married man."

–Garrett J White

"She's not mine to manipulate and control; I'm there to guide her, lead her, show up, and do the best I can as a parent."

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

It's Easier To Be The King in Business Than It Is To Be King In Your Home | Date Your Wife | Ep 037 | Date Your Wife | Ep 037 Sep 18, 2018

Show notes

The topic of money is this week's conversation inside of the Date Your Wife podcast. The unique dynamics inside of a married relationship create a very difficult game for many couples when it comes to the sticky topic of money.

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Back in the day, Danielle hated Garrett because he was working so much. But she didn't hate the business because that's what was paying the bills. "I got to this place where I felt Garrett loved the business more than he loved me."
Garrett: Men can control what happens in business more than they can control what happens at home. It's easier to be the King in business than it is to be the King at home.

QUESTION

Gentlemen, have you lost your crown? What are you going to do to get it back?

Point #2: Split in Two

Many women who out-produce their husbands are in this space of: How do I deal with my husband who is not being the man? I'm dominating him in business and trying to decide if I should get a divorce.
Garrett: When a man allows his wife to split the bills, it splits his power and creates a bit of submission in a weird way. Men, at the primal level, must be okay with the stewardship and responsibility of "I must pay the bills independent of my wife."

QUESTION

How do you as a couple feel about this?

Point #3: Wake-Up Call

At one point in their marriage, Danielle hid how much money she was making. She split up her bank accounts to create a safety net for herself because she wasn't sure if their marriage was going to work out.
When she got triggered about something, she revealed to Garrett that she had made $30k the previous month which served as a wake-up call in the form of a big two by four straight into his balls.

QUESTION

Ladies, why do you hide your money from your husband?

Point #4: Show Me the Money, Honey

There's an artist inside Danielle's Big Money Stylist network who is outproducing her husband in a massive way. "I love my husband and I want to be more sexual, but I'm just not attracted to him."
Garrett: This is a sticky situation, and there's not a simple one-cut solution. When Danielle was making more money, her tolerance of behavior by me went down, and her desire to connect with me sexually also went down.

QUESTION

How is this dynamic affecting your marriage?

Point #5: Friday Night Fights

A recent fight between Danielle and Garrett would have been the end of their marriage a few years ago. But this time it compelled them and opened them up.
Danielle: When your foundation is rocky and an explosion happens, it's hard to build that back up. Now, we can have a fight and come back and talk about it because our foundation is more solid.

QUESTION

What condition is the foundation of your marriage in?

Communication Challenge:

Gentlemen, I want you to have a conversation with your wife about the dynamics of money. What is the connection to the attraction for you and the money you're making or the lack of money you're making?

If you're a man and not paying the bills, have that conversation with your wife and just see where it takes you. If you can get her to be honest with you, it may be the prompting that you need to ultimately rise.

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about what you can do to create a stronger foundation inside of your relationship. What does that look like for both of you?

Quote of the Week:

"There are very few men on this planet who are actually ok with their wives out-fucking producing them. The girl owns the money card AND the vagina card. She owns the victory, the gina, and the money."

–Garrett J White

"When you weren't my money, you weren't my honey. When I hold all the control, there's no chemistry."

–Danielle K White

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Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

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