Show notes
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and this week I'm sharing an episode that is very close to my heart.
There are some experiences that divide your life into a before and an after.
For my husband and me, losing our first baby—our infant son, Noah—was one of those experiences.
It has been many years since we held him and said goodbye, and one of the things grief has taught me is this: healing isn't about leaving someone behind. It's about learning how to carry them differently as you move forward.
In this episode, I'm sharing some of the things I wish I could sit down and tell anyone walking through the loss of a baby—and some of the things I wish more of us understood about grief.
We'll talk about why two people can experience the exact same loss and grieve very differently, why that can be especially difficult inside a marriage, and why different doesn't mean wrong.
I'll also share what I've learned from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's work on grief and David Kessler's idea of a sixth stage of grief: making meaning.
Not finding a reason for what happened.
Not putting a pretty bow around something heartbreaking.
But asking:
How has this changed me?
Who am I becoming because I loved this person?
And how can I carry their life and their love forward with me?
I also talk about the small grief rituals I still practice all these years later, what I've learned about supporting someone after the loss of a child, and why sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop trying to find the right words and simply be willing to sit beside someone in their sorrow.
And finally, I share how losing Noah changed my understanding of Jesus Christ, eternal families, and the beautiful promise that death does not get the final word.
At the end of the episode, I'm sharing something especially personal—a song I wrote for Noah years after we lost him called Baby Blue Fleece.
If you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, I hope this episode feels like someone sitting beside you saying, I remember. Your baby mattered. Your grief matters. And there is no timeline for love.
And if you love someone who has experienced this kind of loss, I hope this episode helps you understand a little better how to walk beside them.
Sometimes a life can be incredibly brief and still change us forever.
Thanks for listening, thanks for being here, and remember to take good care of each other out there.
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