Comedy

CumTown

The Cumtown Comedy Podcast (Satire, Irony, and Improvisational)
Before Stavvy’s World, Before The Adam Friedland Show, Before Matt & Shane’s Secret Podcast, and even Before The Tim Dillon Podcast. There Was CumTown! This is the 2nd renaissance of CumTown with all episodes in order and bits in chapters (getting there missing 2020-2022).
Disclaimer:This podcast contains strong, explicit language, adult themes, and unfiltered comedic content that may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is strongly advised. “Lone Pouch”

Latest Episodes:

(04-23-2019) DC Live show - Cumtown Premium May 31, 2025

Show notes

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

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(00:00) INTRO

(00:30) SLUT NIGHT

(01:00) JERRY MAGUIRE

(01:50) NOIR MOVIE ABOUT A IN HOLLYWOOD WHO DOESN'T WANNA GET

(03:30) THINK THEY'RE LIKE GUYS IN SPEAKEASIES, BEING BANNED IS PROHIBITION

(10:30) DOXX WOMEN INSULTING BERNIE ONLINE, SEND THEM .GIFS OF SEAN CONNERY SLAPPING

(12:30) IF AMY KLOBUCHAR WON

(13:30) LABOR CAMP DESCRIPTIONS ARE JUST REGULAR SOCIETY

(23:10) THE GAME BY NEIL STRAUSS

(24:35) HOW ABOUT MISHEARING 'NEGGING'... IT'S MUCH EASIER TO MAKE JOKES WITHOUT A CHEERING CROWD

(25:20) GREEK INDEPENDENCE DAY PARADE - CALLING THE ORIOLE BIRD GY, ADAM WALKING SOLO

(31:20) GETTING FROM JEFFREY IN A LAUNDRY ROOM - "THE GUN CREDENZA RAPIST" FROM CRAIGSLIST

(39:25) BABY CLOTHES STORE WHERE ADAM GETS HIS CLOTHES - BABY CLOTHES: "MY MOM'S IS V"

(44:00) SOMEONE BRINGING THEIR MOM

(45:00) IN A SMALL TOWN - AGAIN

(49:30) ABDUCTED IN PLAIN SIGHT

(51:30) STAV USING PROFESSOR X POWERS TO MAKE WOMEN THINK HIS

(55:30) LETTERING IN SPEECH AND DEBATE, THEN BUYING THE JACKET AND WEARING IT AROUND

(57:30) TRUMP IS THE MOST FUN PERSON IN DC

(59:30) ADAM'S SET: "HE DID OKAY"

(63:45) OLD DOT WAS A

(68:00) THE SOPRANOS PODCAST

(72:45) JUSSIE SMOLLETT

(76:10) VETERANS AND FIRST RESPONDERS GET FREE MERCH

(79:00) TEMP SIGN ON YOUR MICROWAVE

(80:00) HAVING A DOLL ACCUSE YOU OF CHEATING

(04-23-2019) Early Turd Special - Cumtown (152) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

https://searchtafs.net/

(00:00) TO CATCH A PREDATOR IN

(05:00) ZIZEK V PETERSON DEBATE

(11:00) NICK SHINING THE LASER POINTER IN ADAM'S EYES

(15:20) GUY WHO FORCED THE AIRLINE CREW TO WIPE HIS

(24:45) SRI LANKAN BOMBING

(25:45) THE HAKA - INDIAN HEADDRESSES

(34:10) ANNE FRANK WOULD'VE BEEN A

(37:30) KID PRAYING TO BE NORMAL

(38:50) THE SAN ANTONIO CHAPS

(41:15) DENNIS MILLER

(49:55) NICK AND STAV BOTH BEING TOO SCARED TO ROCKCLIMB

(57:00) TIM DILLON AND JAKE FLORES BEEF

(60:00) NICK QUOTING SUGAR RAY AND ADAM NOT GETTING IT

(60:30) JESSIE'S GIRL IS HIS DAUGHTER AND

(66:20) TORONTO CHINATOWN: "TWO PLUS TWO, EH?"

(68:30) TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL, DOCTOR QUINN MEDICINE

(73:00) PETE BUTTIGIEG - WHAT IT'S LIKE BY EVERLAST

(04-21-2019) more like sry lanka - Cumtown Premium (132) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

⁠https://cumtown.store/⁠

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

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(00:00) GENE: NEW YORK WAS GUYS ONLY, BEFORE PIZZA WAS CUT INTO SLICES

(03:00) ADAM'S THERAPIST SAYS HE WAS AT THE BOOKSTORE

(05:25) WINNIE THE POOH

(07:15) DOM SUBRELAISH - "AND THEY'RE PUTTING IN NUMBER ZERO, ADAM FRIEDLAND" BOOOOO

(14:00) STAV BECOMING A GIRL NAMED DOT - SAYING "ZIP" WHILE PULLING DOWN YOUR SWEATPANTS

(15:35) FOR A PONTIAC SUNFIRE OR TO STOP 9/11

(18:50) NICK RECOUNTING A SHORT FILM WHERE A GUY TELLS HIS DAD HE CAN GET $2M FOR

(21:07) AARON GLAZER IS NANETTE'S WARIO

(22:10) TURNING CTOWN INTO THE VIEW

(24:00) GETTING A DISABILITY MTA CARD

(26:30) SEBASTIAN IS A CRAB

(32:40) MUST SUCK TO BE AN

(36:00) GETTING THE NAMES FOR POKER HANDS WRONG

(37:30) NICK'S 90S PLAYLIST

(53:30) ADAM'S STANKY

(62:20) PICARD ASKING WORF TO

(66:00) STAV DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ALIENS IS

(79:00) STAV HAVING AN EATING DISORDER AND HANGING OUT COMPLAINING WITH ANOREXIC GIRLS

(82:20) STAV SETTING UP HIS CPAP MACHINE IN STARBUCKS FOR A NAP

(84:40) JAMES BEARD AWARD FOR SMALLEST

(04-17-2019) P*ssy for lobster - Cumtown (151) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

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(00:00) GOING IN TO BERNIE SANDERS RALLIES/TOWN HALLS

(12:20) TRUMP IN JOHN MCCAIN'S PLANE MASK

(13:20) STAV BEING 4 INCHED FROM THE ARMY

(20:15) TEACHING IMMIGRANTS THE WRONG ALPHABET TO THE SAME TUNE

(23:00) SESA#METOO STREET

(24:40) STAV GETTING CAVEMAN ADS

(25:50) REALIZING BETDSI DOES HAVE AN APP - ADAM GETS WORKED UP

(28:10) NICK WANTS TO SEE THE CHINESE INVADE

(29:40) BETDSI PROMO CODE

(30:45) SEBASTIAN WANTING TO PINCH ARIEL'S NIPPLES AND HER

(40:30) BOB DYLAN ROOF

(46:10) HOW LOBSTERS

(49:00) WEIGHT AFTER BREAK-UPS

(55:15) HAVING BLOODLUST, STALKING AND KILLING A

(58:40) STAV GETTING MAD WHEN ADAM THROWS OUT THE LAST BIT OF BURRITO

(59:45) A MAN, TURNING HIM GREEN, GIVING HIM SHREK EARS AND

(71:20) POKEMON THEME SONG - "TOOK A BUNCH OF YOGA CLASSES, TO ON MY OWN"

(04-14-2019) Still damn sick - Cumtown Premium (131) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

⁠https://cumtown.store/⁠

https://www.stickermule.com/cumtown

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

https://searchtafs.net/

(00:00) INTRO

(00:30) GRIZZLY MAN BUT ABOUT A DIFFERENT KIND OF BEAR - "YOU MUST DESTROY THIS TAPE, HE IS DOING"

(01:15) HOLDING A THROUGH A AND SINGING STAINED - OUTSIDE

(03:15) A GLORYHOLE FOR

(04:20) EYE FOR THE GUY

(05:10) TURNING AWAY FROM COMMERCIALS AS A KID AND CALLING THE OTHER KID A FOR WATCHING - "MAD"

(07:00) ADAM RUINING HIS PARENTS' DINNER PARTIES BY BEING AND PLAYING "PARTY"

(08:10) DAVID BOWIE, MARYLAND

(09:25) BROOKLYN AAA TEAM CHANGING THEIR NAME FROM THE CYCLONES TO THE FIRST RESPONDERS TO PISS OFF STATEN ISLAND

(12:25) "TOMMY LEE JONES/PAM ANDERSON TAPE"

(13:00) JFK REWATCH

(13:45) ADAM WON'T SAY BULLDYKE

(15:55) NICK'S PUNK BAND THE WORST RESPONDERS

(19:15) SHINEFIELD AND IT'S BLACK SEINFELD

(20:10) LONG GOODBYE REWATCH

(20:55) (TIGER) IS A WIN FOR VICTIMS OF ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

(22:15) JOHNNY DEPP AND NICOLAS CAGE ARE ADDICTED TO CASTLES

(25:25) STAV WANTS TO A LADY WHO WORKS A SWITCHBOARD

(26:15) THE INFECTED NY WITH MEASLES - WE SHOULD GIVE THEM ARMBANDS, THEN PUT THEM IN CAMPS

(27:25) ANTI PROPAGANDA AND ANTI PSAS

(30:30) CHARLES DARWIN - GALAPAGOS ISLANDS

(34:35) STAV WANTED A ROLLING BACKPACK

(41:20) MEXICO

(48:15) NICK WANTED TO JOIN THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION

(48:55) SENEGALESE CULTURE AND LOOKING LIKE PIRATES

(53:00) MORRISSEY DENYING BEING

(55:45) GETTING A TOOTHLESS AND CLAWLESS LION TO BEAT THE

(60:40) FRUIT OF THE LOOM/HEM OF HER GARMENT

(61:30) GETTING JOINT FORESKIN REATTACHMENT SURGERY, LIKE A CHINESE FINGER TRAP

(62:30) THE SIMPSONS REWATCH

(66:30) PREACHER SHOWING HIS CONGREGATION WONDER SHOWZEN - WONDER BLOWSMEN

(67:45) THIS PRESS CONFERENCE HAS NOW COMMENCED "SIR THAT MEANS IT'S STARTED"

(69:20) MEN ADOPTING EACH OTHER

(70:10) THE DUNCE CAP

(71:25) X-MEN ANIMATED SERIES AND POWER RANGERS THEMES

(04-11-2019) sick day - Cumtown (150) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

⁠https://cumtown.store/⁠

https://www.stickermule.com/cumtown

https://ko-fi.com/cumtown

Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

https://searchtafs.net/

(00:00) GUY: "EVERY TIME I GET MY HAIR CUT, THEY"

(01:00) BONOBOS AND CHIMPS

(03:40) NICK SPITTING AT GROUND ZERO

(05:00) CAPTAINESS MARVEL

(05:55) MRIs

(07:45) A MEZUZAH MEANS "NO SOLICITING" - WE ALREADY HAVE A PLACE WE LIKE

(11:40) USING WAZE IN THE TRAINS

(13:00) THE BANALITY OF EVIL

(15:30) THE NAVY - IF YOU CAN'T GET IN, YOU CAN SPIT ON AT GROUND ZERO

(16:35) ONG-BAK TRANSPLANT

(18:35) A CONSTRUCTED IS LIKE A BANK THAT USED TO BE A PIZZA HUT

(19:50) JD POWER

(22:50) ICE BREAKER

(24:50) ADAM HAVING A AS A KID AND HIS DAD TELLING HIM OFF

(29:25) GAL GADOTHEAD

(36:20) THE PJS BEING MADE OUT OF

(39:30) DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE, THE THICK BOTTOM

(40:00) NEW JERSEY DAD WHO EXPECTS MOVIES TO BE COOL BUT THEN THEY'RE IE PARTY MONSTER

(48:20) BILLY CYRUS

(50:00) THE RULE-BREAKING

(52:40) THE WHO LIKES PUBLIC INTELLECTUALS

(62:15) BARBERSHOP 5, CEDRIC GETTING TRAFFICKED

(64:45) BILL COSBY - KIDS SAY

(73:50) HIDING CANDY IN YOUR IN PRISON - THE PINATA

(79:30) WRITING A SPEC SCRIPT FOR FRIENDS WHERE RACHEL GETS HER

(04-09-2019) the spy museum - Cumtown (149) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

⁠https://cumtown.store/⁠

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

https://searchtafs.net/

(00:00) INTRO

(04:15) BUYING A PORSCHE AND LEAVING IT RUNNING WHILE WEARING THE JACKET

(05:10) NEEDING TO PAY A RACE DRIVER TO PUSH A SPORTS CAR'S LIMITS

(08:45) MUSSOLINI'S GRANDDAUGHTER

(11:00) TRABANT THE EAST GERMAN CAR/ GUY

(12:55) ADAM'S SISTER SERVING OJ SIMPSON

(18:45) NERD ON EYE

(25:15) DAVID MAMET'S CAPTAIN MARVEL

(29:30) SOFTWARE THAT BLURS ALL THE IN JAPANESE BUT IT ENDS UP BLURRING THEIR EYES TOO

(33:00) SURVIVOR WHO HAS TO PUT DIAMONDS UP HER AND FIND THEM IN HER

(36:00) AS FAMILY HEIRLOOMS - POSTING FAMILY IN R/AWW

(48:00) THE URINEEPEIN' UNION

(49:55) "ZEBRA LOOKING KINDA GOOD THOUGH"

(55:25) USING ECHOLOCATION TO FIND THE WOMAN WITH THE

(60:50) COLIN/COLON POWELL

(63:45) CLIMBING TREES

(65:00) APE INDEX

(69:30) THE DEVIL'S

(04-06-2019) new teeth - Cumtown Premium (130) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

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(00:00) INTRO

(00:40) ASTRONAUTS REFUSING A DIAPER

(02:25) AN UNFINISHED BASEMENT IS ANARCHY

(04:15) STAV IS ELIZABETH WARREN'S NEW CAMPAIGN MANAGER

(09:15) FANTASISING ABOUT EVERYONE WITH A TANK WHEN YOU'RE A KID

(13:50) ADAM THINKS THE 9/11 PICTURE FROM THE TOP OF THE TOWERS IS REAL

(19:30) KIDS BEING AFRAID OF PEOPLE

(26:45) GETTING YOUR MEDICALLY - THE GIANT BABY WHO MAKES ALL HOUSES IN

(34:10) FASHION? NOT-IST?

(37:50) GYNOSAURUS REX

(42:30) BUILDING SOLID GOLD STATUES AND CHARGING PEOPLE TO LOOK AT IT

(52:20) ONE OF THE "CLEANER"

(58:20) TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR GRIP STRENGTH

(60:40) YELLING "WHAT'S HIS NAME" WHEN CORY BOOKER MENTIONS HIS GIRLFRIEND

(62:00) DISAPPEALING

(65:00) THE GUYS UNDER THE BRIDGE KWAI - BEING ALLOWED TO HAVE IN A POW CAMP

(70:50) WE ALL KNOW WHO WOULD BEFRIEND THE ALIENS AND TEACH THEM ABOUT BANKING

(03-31-2019) gaming adam - Cumtown Premium (129) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

⁠https://cumtown.store/⁠

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Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

https://searchtafs.net/

(00:00) INTRO

(02:20) NICK DRAWING SLIMER - ELMO IN THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

(06:30) BEING IN A WHEELCHAIR AND STEALING VALOUR

(09:20) ERIC THE LIZARD MAN OF AUSTIN

(10:25) OLD GUY TRYING TO BOOK A RESTAURANT AND MAKE IT LIKE WHEN HE FIRST MET HIS WIFE

(13:00) BETO THE FUGAZI CAPITALIST

(14:45) SPORTS WHERE YOU'RE ABLE TO BE A FAT GUY

(23:30) DOWNSALD TRUMP - COLBERT

(28:30) COULD STAV UP ROBERT MUELLER?

(32:45) GENDERLESS ROBOTS

(35:00) BEING A PIMP AND HIRING HOME DEPOT DAY LABORERS

(37:30) ADAM JONES SOME GUY'S NEW WIFE

(39:10) SIMON WIESENTHAL CENTER FOR DRINKING

(41:30) THE MOVIE MUNICH - GUY AT A MOSQUE BLAMING ATTACK

(45:30) ADAM'S TORAH PORTION

(50:15) HOW LATE NIGHT HOSTS - STAV BLOCKS THE DOOR LIKE LOUIS CK - ADAM HAS A PIT BOSS IN HIS

(52:15) NICK'S CHILI RECIPE

(57:00) WORDS THAT ARE THE SAME IN ENGLISH AND SPANISH

(58:45) WHAT'S THE OLDEST YOU'VE?

(60:00) ANDREW YANG MECH SONG

(65:10) THE VENTURE BROTHERS

(69:10) THE VENTURE BROTHERS

(71:00) NICK GETTING A VAN

(76:00) TOM SELL-COCK

(03-28-2019) Jussie Mueller Extravaganza - Cumtown (148) May 31, 2025

Show notes

Support the Channel (QR Stickers in Demo Mode):

⁠https://cumtown.store/⁠

https://www.stickermule.com/cumtown

https://ko-fi.com/cumtown

Bit Finder (Thanks Mike)

https://searchtafs.net/

(00:00) ARUGULA BOOGULA

(01:40) BEATER MAIDS - ANDREW YANG WANTS UGLY COPS
(04:30) CABRON AND MARICON

(06:30) WOMEN HAVE TO SIGN A PIECE OF PAPER GUARANTEEING THEY'LL GO TO

(07:55) JAKE FLORES ON JOE ROGAN

(08:30) LOSING THE COUPON BOOK FOR HUGS AND

(12:30) BUGS BUNNY - "WHAT'S UP?" - ELMER FUDD MARRIED TO FOGHORN LEGHORN

(15:30) GUY ON THE STREET TELLING ANOTHER "GO BACK TO HIM, HE'S JUST GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE A!"

(18:00) MAINTENANCE GUY IN NICK'S BUILDING TALKING ABOUT HOLDING POCKETS

(19:00) "PRISON WOULD NOT WORK WITHOUT THE THREAT OF" - "THE VAST MAJORITY OF IS CONSENSUAL"

(23:20) PLACING ADS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORD

(25:20) THE BACHELOR BUT IF THE DOOR IS LEFT OPEN A GUY SNEAKS IN AND HIM OFF

(28:20) GUYS ASKING FOR A SELFIE WITH ADAM AND HAVING THE LEGION OF SKANKS LOGO ON THEIR LOCK SCREEN

(29:20) WHY ARE THEY VICTIMS? YOU DID IT TO YOURSELF MOTHER

(30:00) PRERP NOT WORKING - GETTING POZED UP FROM GETTING IN PAPERCUTS AND YOUR EYES

(32:30) GETTING RID OF BY BUILDING A SCHOOL IN AFRICA

(34:05) FOR PAY

(37:20) MANIC PIXIE GUY

(38:30) GAME OF PHONES - GUYS WHO LOVE PHONE ACCESSORIES

(39:10) GUY CATCALLING HIS MAIL WOMAN

(40:45) CROSSDRESSING JUST PUTTING THE DOT ON

(47:45) NICK'S BALLS HAVE SHRUNK

(49:30) BALL SIZE COMPARED TO FRUIT

(54:40) ADAM LEAVING YELP REVIEWS OF OWNED BUSINESSES

(55:00) US THE MOVIE - DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE

(58:50) WHICH ISLAND IS WORSE: STATEN OR RIKERS?

(60:00) MUELLER REPORT

(61:00) GOOD WILL HUNTING IS JANITOR PROPAGANDA

(64:30) BEEBEE WITH A HEALING CRYSTAL IN HIS

(66:30) GIRLS WITH SMALL BEING THE FIRST BOSS IN MARIO 64

(70:00) PRISON PLANET FITNESS

(73:10) THE SAILOR BACK FROM WORLD WAR II BUT INSTEAD OF KISSING A NURSE

(75:35) COUPLE IN BED HEARS A NOISE, HUSBAND IMMEDIATELY YELLS OUT "TAKE HER, HER, LEAVE ME ALONE!"

(80:30) ONE DOESN'T MAKE YOU

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