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My sex therapist is talking about solo sex but I only want partnered sex Oct 09, 2018

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This week we answer a question from a listener. "My sex therapist is talking about solo sex as part of our work - but I only want to do things with my partner." Here our response and whether we should be having solo sex. You can see our summary blog about this at our website https://megjohnandjustin.com/sex/sex-therapist-talking-solo-sex-i-want-partnered-sex/

Writing Our Own Scripts Sep 27, 2018

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More about this episode at our blog https://megjohnandjustin.com/writing-our-own-scripts

Do We Have a Responsibility to Do Self-Care in Relationships? Sep 12, 2018

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This week on the podcast we discussed whether self-care was a relationship responsibility and - if so - how we go about doing it. We started with the fact that self-care is very challenging in our current world. It’s either put forward as quite a banal form of pampering which doesn’t require any self-reflection, or it’s put forward as ‘self-improvement’ which suggests that you need to perfect yourself and give yourself a hard time unless you’re doing all the different forms of self-care on top of everything else. We think of self-care more as Audre Lorde spoke of it - as a political act that’s essential, both for surviving these tough times, and for ensuring that we’re part of the solution not part of the problem. In relation to our close intimate relationships, practising self-care is often seen as selfish. Like it would be better to give all of ourselves to our close people and not need to look after ourselves. We talk about how this approach can lead to burn-out, resentment, and having nothing left to offer. Not self-caring is a bit like keeping going when you have a cold - you risk staying ill for longer and passing on the cold to others. We also talked about the phrase ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ (or is it jug?) Self-care can help us to be more aware of our relationship patterns and to address them, rather than sliding back into them in ways that can hurt you and other people. However, we can use the ideal of self-care in relationships in more negative ways. For example, we may use it to avoid dealing with issues with other people - just withdrawing into ourselves to cope with difficult things that crop up. When the issue is a relational one it’s important to deal with it with the other person rather than avoiding that in order to avoid being around their difficult feelings or our own vulnerability. You can read more about how to do self-care on Justin’s website, and in Meg-John’s zine on the topic, and their recent blog post about identifying relationship patterns.

Avoiding Painful Sex Aug 30, 2018

Show notes

Content note. We chat about different kinds of pain and also talk a little bit about injury and trauma. This podcast is all about pain and sex, with a focus on how to ensure that sex isn’t painful in ways that you don’t want it to be. We’ll do a future episode about how to bring pain or strong sensations into sex if that is something you want to do.

Enjoy Penis In Vagina Sex Aug 15, 2018

Show notes

Here we chat about how we might go about enjoying penis in vagina sex more. Which is a bit of a radical departure for us, so we hope you find it useful. Listen to this in tandem with the Enjoy Non-Genital Sex https://soundcloud.com/megjohnjustin/enjoy-non-genital-sex and you'll be on to a winner. Also our Being Present For Sex video which we mention is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oYaDYX8LCo

Trans and the GRA Jul 26, 2018

Show notes

Trans and the GRA This week we spent the podcast talking about trans and the Gender Recognition Act (GRA) given that this is in the news so much at the moment. More details (and links) at https://www.megjohnandjustin.com

How Can You Deal With Jealousy? Jul 05, 2018

Show notes

This week on the podcast we tackled the issue of jealousy in answer to the following question… Is jealousy healthy in a relationship? Or else, is the absence of jealousy unhealthy or even possible? If it is, how do we get there? If it's not, what do we do to manage it? And how do we know whether it comes more from us or the behaviour of other person? Head over to megjohnandjustin.com to read our blog to accompany this episode. MJ&J x

Gender And Sexual Diversity Discussion Panel For Pride Jul 04, 2018

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Cosmopolitan x Instagram created #AskMeThisNotThis campaign, which was created in collaboration with influential LGBTQ+ figures and explores the outdated and often offensive questions they’re sick of being asked. We were asked to record one of our podcasts at their final event. We thought it might be a nice thing to do for Pride Month so we did (we didn’t get paid, though we did have a couple of very tasty bento boxes). On the panel were Sade Giliberti - Gilberti is a South African TV presenter and works to raise awareness of LGBTQ issues: https://www.instagram.com/onesadie/ Hannah Winterbourne - In 2013, Hannah came out as a transgender woman and became the highest ranking transgender soldier within the British Army. As part of the Army LGBT Forum, she became the Army's Transgender Representative where she has responsibility to advise Senior Army commanders on transgender policy: https://www.instagram.com/hannahw253/ Jessica Kellgren Fozard - Jessica Kellgren-Fozard is a disabled, gay YouTuber who writes about life with wife Claudia: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaoutofthecloset/ We had a nice chat about labels, assumptions, identity, and social media. Hopefully there’ll be a transcript of the discussion coming soon, which you’ll be able to find at megjohnandjustin.com

Gender Stories X Meg-John & Justin Collab Jun 19, 2018

Show notes

Here we chat with Alex Iantaffi our mate, who now hosts the wonderful podcast Gender Stories. You can search for this through the usual podcast platforms. He can also be found at http://genderstories.buzzsprout.com/ and on the twitters https://twitter.com/GenderStories and also on the instagrams as GenderStories. It's a long one, but we didn't want to break it up because of plugging references (you'll hear).

Should You Get Back With Your Ex May 29, 2018

Show notes

In the podcast this week we talked around a topic that a listener had emailed in about: the wisdom of getting back together with somebody you’ve broken up with. They rightly pointed out that a lot of relationship advice says this is never a good idea, but that there are plenty of circumstances where it could work pretty well, for example if your needs and desires have become more compatible or if you’ve done some work on yourself in the meantime to bring you to a different place.

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