Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Latest Episodes:

Making Peace with Living Child Free Jan 04, 2023

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How do you know when enough is enough? What do you do when infertility treatment and adoption don't end up with you having a child. Join us to talk with Rebecca and Sallyann Majoya, co-authors of the memoir Uncertain Fruit, and Carole LieberWilkins, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing individual and couples counseling, as well as psychoeducational consultations, for those moving into alternative paths to parenthood and living child-free.
In this episode, we cover:

Deciding to live child-free is becoming increasingly common in the US. Research has found that 30 percent of women of childbearing age identifying wanting to live child-free. However, that is not reflective of the people we are speaking to who have likely tried infertility treatment or adoption and it hasn’t worked for them.
What is the right name: childfree or childless? Are you childfree by choice or childfree not by choice?
Age is less of a biological cut off point than in the past and that complicates the decision of whether to stop trying to have a child.
How do people know when it is time to stop trying? What are the signs that it is time to stop. How do you know when enough is enough?
Is making the decision to live childfree ‘giving up’?
Are there predictable steps for reaching the decision of when it is time to stop fertility treatment or adoption?
Determining when you should stop.
How to decide to stop?
- ‘Trying on’ the future
- Seeking new goal/vision
- Therapy
How can “giving up the dream” of children impact a couple’s relationship?
How to handle when both partners are not on the same page.
Once you’ve made the decision, should you take steps to not get pregnant? The “not-try-but-not-prevent” approach.
For many, the decision to live child free not by choice causes grief, but this loss is invisible. It’s hard for others to see or understand, so we mourn without the support of our community.
What can people do to help themselves resolve the grief of not having kids?
- Writing a letter to the child you will never know.
- Giving this dream child a “funeral.” Doing something with the letter that is akin to a funeral. Concrete reminders that the person is gone.
- Create a ritual to say goodbye.
- Writing a memoir.
- Create a new life goal. A new vision for your future.

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Parental Leave: What You Need to Know Before You Adopt or Foster Dec 28, 2022

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Are adoptive parents eligible for parental leave? What about foster parents or kinship parents? We talk with Dr. Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell, with the Center for Parental Leave Leadership and co-authors of The Parental Leave Playbook.
In this episode, we cover:

What are the laws and rules surrounding parental leave in the US?
Who is eligible for parental leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)?
Parental leave on the company level
How does parental leave differ from maternity leave paternity leave?
Policies that require employees to pay back their parental leave if they do not stay employed with the company/organization for a certain period of time.
How does this differ from other countries?
Are the laws/rules different for mothers and fathers? Are they gender neutral?
Do you receive your salary when you are on parental leave?
Does parental leave differ for someone adopting a child?
Are adoptive families are protected under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)?
Are birth mothers eligible for parental leave?
Does their have to be a legal relationship between the parent and the child? Does parental leave differ for someone fostering a child? Are you eligible for parental leave with every new foster placement?
Can kinship caregivers receive parental leave?
The Parental Leave Playbooklays out a process for approaching parental leave in three phases: preparing for your leave, during leave, and returning from leave.
What steps should you take to be successful in each phase?

To support the Paid Leave for All Act

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Transracial Adoption: A Mom & Son Talk About What They've Learned Dec 21, 2022

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We talk with Isaac and Julie Etter, a mom and son, about what they have learned about transracial adoption and what they wish they had known at the beginning. Isaac is the founder of Identity, a startup focused on using technology to help adoptive and foster families thrive. Julie Etter is a mom of five and a humanities teacher.
In this episode, we cover:

Isaac, tell us your adoption story from your perspective. Why were you placed for adoption? What were the first two years of your life like? Where you were raised?
Julie, what was your motivation for adopting? Were there other children in the family?
What was the racial demographics of your community?
Julie, what were you taught about transracial adoption before you adopted?
Isaac, how did you identify racially as a young child? When did you start identifying as black?
Did you experience racism growing up?
Julie, did you see racism directed towards Isaac as a child?
Did you tell your parents?
Julie, what do you wish you had known before you adopted a Black child? Would you have done anything differently?
Isaac, what do you want transracial adopted parents to know?
Julie, what advice would you give other parents who have or are considering adopting tranracially?

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Courage & Resilience: A Foster Child's Story of Success Dec 14, 2022

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How do some kids survive a life of poverty, homelessness, abuse, and foster and eventually thrive? We talk with David Ambroz is a national poverty and child welfare expert and advocate and the author of the memoir, A Place Called Home. He was recognized by President Obama as an American Champion of Change. Currently serving as the Head of Community Engagement (West) for Amazon, Ambroz previously led Corporate Social Responsibility for Walt Disney Television, and has served as president of the Los Angeles City Planning Commission as well as a California Child Welfare Council member. After growing up homeless and then in foster care, he graduated from Vassar College and later earned his J.D. from UCLA School of Law. He is a foster dad and lives in Los Angeles, CA.
In this episode, we cover:

Poverty and Homelessness:
- His story.
- School
- What made a difference?
- What should adults who encounter or work with homeless children/youth know?
Foster Care:
- His story.
- Youth who identify as LGBTQ+ are overrepresented in foster care (Human Rights Campaign, 2015). While approximately 5 percent of the general population is estimated to be LGBTQ+, studies estimate that about 30 percent of youth in foster care identify as LGBTQ+. Why are these young people over represented in child welfare? LGBTQ+ youth are 1.5 -2 times more likely to have a foster placement failure.
- What would you want foster parents to know?
What made the difference in your eventually succeeding? (Going to Vassar and UCLA Law School.)
The lack of available treatments for mental illness.
Why did you become a foster parent?
Why did you title the book “A Place Called Home?”

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An Introduction to Female Fertility Dec 07, 2022

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How much do you really know about your fertility, menstrual cycles, and conception? Join us to learn more with Dr. Joyce Harper, a Professor of Reproductive Science at the Institute for Women’s Health, University College London, and the head of the Reproductive Science and Society Group. She is the author of Your Fertile Years.
In this episode, we cover:

Understanding the menstrual cycle
Understanding the basic of conception
Predicting ovulation
Basics of Infertility
What percentage of infertility is caused by the female partner, the male partner, or both?
What causes a woman to not ovulate?
Initial workup for women who meet the definition of infertility
Workup for Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Treatment Options for Infertility
How does the infertility workup differ for the LGBTQ+ community (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Non-binary, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and Gender Nonconforming Individuals)?

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Understanding Psychotropic Medications Nov 30, 2022

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Are you a foster or adoptive parent whose child is taking mood altering medications or medications to help them sleep? You will learn a lot about these medications and what you can do to make them as effective as possible. We talk with Dr. Adam Langenfeld, a Developmental Pediatrician at Children's Minnesota hospital. He also has a Ph.D. in chemistry.
In this episode, we cover:

What are psychotropic medications?
What are the classes of psychotropic medications?
What are some commonly prescribed medications in each class?
What mental health issues are these medications addressing?
Symptoms of anxiety and depression in children.
Situational anxiety or depression.
- SCARED checklist anxiety
- Childhood Depression Inventory
How do psychotropic medications work? A basic overview of Psych Pharmacology.
- Simulation of a brain synapsis
How are medications in each of these classes administered?
Does timing of the day matter?
How effective is melatonin?
Does proximity to meals matter when administering these medications?
What are some of the side effects of the most commonly used psychotropic medications?
- Psychedelics?
- Supplements (such as CBD)?
Why are children in foster care more likely to be on psychotropic medications?
Does use of psychotropic medications in childhood increase the likelihood of substance abuse in adolescence or adulthood?
What can parents do to help these medications be as effective as possible?
How to know when a child should taper down or get off of psychotropic medications?
If parents believe that the child is on too many psychotropic medications, what should they do?

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Prenatal Exposure: Diagnosing and Treatment Nov 23, 2022

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Do you wonder if your child was prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs? There may be nothing in the files, but something feels not right? We talk about diagnosing and treating these kids with Dr. Larry Burd, a professor of pediatrics at the University of North Dakota School of Medicine and the Director of the North Dakota Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Center.
In this episode, we cover:

Most of our audience is foster, adoptive, and kinship parents and professionals. Often they don’t know for sure if a child has been exposed. The US government estimates that about 10% of all children in the US have been prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs. Do you have a feel for the percentage of children in foster care or who have been involved with the child welfare system? International adoption? Domestic infant adoption?
Does prenatal exposure increase the likelihood of a disruption to a foster or adoptive placement?
How is prenatal exposure to alcohol detected or diagnosed?
What type of training do pediatricians receive during their education or residency on prenatal exposure and on how to diagnose?
Can you tell at birth or in infancy if a baby has been exposed to alcohol in utero?
How is prenatal exposure to drugs detected or diagnosed?
How does birth order change the likelihood that a child who is at risk has been exposed during pregnancy?
What are the long-term impacts of alcohol exposure? What are the symptoms that are most noticeable to parents, teachers, and other professionals working with these children?
Alcohol exposure affects multiple systems in the body.
Does it matter what type of alcohol was consumed?
Who can diagnose a child with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder?
What are the long-term impacts of the following drugs?
- Opioids
- Heroin and Fentanyl
- Depressants (benzodiazepines, such as Valium, Xanax)-Prescribed and unprescribed
- Stimulants-Prescribed and unprescribed
- Methamphetamines
- Marijuana
- Tobacco/Nicotine
Do pediatricians have a body of resources to offer parents regarding raising a child with prenatal exposure?
Tips for parents

Additional Resources Mentioned in Interview:

Still Face Experiment
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

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Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Transracial Adoption and Fostering: Understanding Race & Racial Identity Nov 16, 2022

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Are you a transracial adoptive or foster parent? Have you wondered how you can help your child form a healthy racial identity. Does racial identity formation change depending on the race of the child? Today we talk about all this and more with Dr. Gina Miranda Samuels, a professor at the University of Chicago and Director of the Center for the Study of Race, Politics and Culture. She is a transracial adoptee and co-author of the book Multiracial Cultural Attunement.
In this episode, we cover:

How do children in the US come to understand race at different ages and developmental stages?
How early do children develop a racial bias? How early do children associate certain characteristics to race and show a preference towards a person of a certain race?
How does transracial adoption or fostering or kinship care impact a child’s understanding of race?
How does transracial or transcultural adoption or fostering or kinship care impact children?
- Racial identity formation: How does being adopted transracially impact the adoptee’s racial identity formation?
- Coping with racism
In your research and in your experience, do you see a difference in the experience of race is perceived by both transracial adoptees or adoptive or foster parents depending on the race of the child? Asian, Latinx, Black, Bi-racial?
Why is taking the colorblind approach to parenting not helpful?
“It’s About More Than Hair”
Transracial parenting requires the family to be fluent in “race talk” – socialization is not a conversation, it is a daily, incremental, and developmental family process.
As our kids age, what is it like for our tweens, teens, and young adults to have parents of a different race?
How does transracial adoption or fostering impact siblings in the family who are the same race as the parents?
How does transracial adoption or fostering affect extended family members, such as grandparents and aunts and uncles?
Practical tips for parents raising a child of a different race or ethnicity.

Additional Resources:

Diverse Book Finder
The Brown Bookshelf – highlights Black voices writing for young readers.
The Conscious Kid
Multiracial Cultural Attunement by Gina Miranda Samuels and Kelly Faye Jackson, 2019
Tips for parenting your transracially adopted child by Dr. Gina Samuels
EmbraceRace was founded to create the community and gather the resources they needed (need!) to meet the challenges faced by those raising children in a world where race matters.
Dr. Erin Winkler, Children Are Not Colorblind: How Young Children Learn Race
Hamilton ER, Samek DR, Keyes M, McGue MK, Iacono WG. Identity Development in a Transracial Environment: Racial/Ethnic Minority Adoptees in Minnesota. Adopt Q. 2015;18(3):217-233. doi: 10.1080/10926755.2015.1013593. PMID: 26300622; PMCID: PMC4540225.

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Physical and Emotional Health Issues Common with Foster Kids Nov 09, 2022

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What are the common health issues foster parents and those adopting from foster care should expect? We talk with Christy Street, Program Director of Fostering Health NC, which is a program of North Carolina Pediatric Society.
In this episode, we cover:

Term “health” broadly to encompass physical, emotional, mental, behavioral, developmental, educational, and oral health.
Impact of trauma on kids physical and mental health.
Those areas of the brain most affected by trauma, especially early trauma, are those involved in stress response, emotional regulation, attention, cognition, executive function, and memory.
An issue with foster care parenting is limited access to health care before entering foster care and lack of knowledge about previous health care. How does this impact care and what can foster or adoptive parents do?
The role of transience and uncertainty for kids in foster care provides challenges for foster parents and doctors in providing health care to kids in foster care.
Immunizations
Medicaid Care management
Foster kids often come to us with a bag full of medications that have been prescribed somewhere along the line and a host of diagnoses. What role can foster or soon to be adoptive parents play?
What are psychotropic drugs and why are so many foster children on them?
What can foster parents do if they question the amount or type of medication their foster child is taking or even the underlying diagnosis?
What role does a foster parent have in seeking a change in medication for their foster child?
What doctor do you take your foster child to? Your pediatrician? Their previous doctor, if they had one? The doctor that has prescribed the medication?
Pre-natal exposure to alcohol and drugs: impact, diagnosis.
One of the most confusing aspects of caring for a child in foster care is identifying who has the authority to consent for health care on behalf of the child or adolescent. Varies by state (caseworker can tell you).
Sleep issues with foster children. What causes sleep issues? What can foster parents or parents adopting from foster care do to help children in foster care sleep better?
How common are weight issues in foster children? Why is obesity and being overweight an issue? What can foster parents or parents adopting from foster care do?
Dental care for foster children. How much and how soon?
Coping with feelings of “why bother” when a foster child will return to the same chaotic household they came from.

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Current Trends in 3rd Party Reproduction Nov 02, 2022

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Are you thinking about using donor sperm, egg, or embryo or using a surrogate? We talk about the current trends in third party reproduction with Corey Burke, an embryologist and Tissue Bank Director at Cryos International Sperm & Egg Bank.
In this episode, we cover: