Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Latest Episodes:

Will the Pain of Infertility Go Away If I Adopt? - Weekend Wisdom Jun 08, 2024

Show notes

Question: We’re 5 years in trying to conceive and I’m TIRED. I have an opportunity to adopt an unborn baby girl. My question is, does it get any easier dealing with the infertility, the failure, the empty feeling? Does your heart stop breaking every month when you know you’re not pregnant? I’m so afraid that I’m gonna get this little baby but still need more…. hope I didn’t offend anyone!
Resources:

Coming to Terms with Infertility Grief Before You Adopt (Suggested Books)
Parenting After Infertility
Breastfeeding the Adopted Child

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

An Adoptee's Journey Jun 05, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us to talk with Cam Lee Small about his new book, The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment.
In this episode, we talk about:

You wrote this book for Christian adoptees. Why that specific audience?
Adoptees have been objectified, scrutinized, and infantized. Can you give examples of where you see this?
The narrative surrounding adoption, especially international adoption: you were saved, you are better off, God called us, etc.
Loss and grief that is inherent in adoption. Ambiguous loss and disenfranchised grief.
Is trauma a part of all adoptions?
What are the stages of recovery from trauma and how can adoptive, foster, and kinship parents help with this recovery?
“The cost of gratitude-driven silence is high.”
I am adopting (kin) a two-year-old girl and planning to keep her basic birth story as part of open conversation. She has details in her story that may be difficult to hear and I would like to keep those from her until she is much much older. Do you agree or disagree with this idea and why? How old were you when you learned your full adoption story?
Your parents gave you full access to your records, which you could look at with them or alone. Was this helpful, and do you recommend this approach?
3-5-7 model for preparing children for permanency
The reunion experience. Dr. Susan Branco’s seven themes of emotions that participant report from their reunion experience.

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Can I Adopt If My Husband Is Disabled? - Weekend Wisdom Jun 02, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: Hello! I’ve been listening to the podcast for a little while now as I consider my desire to adopt. I’ve had many models around me who adopted their children, and although the process is difficult, I have a desire to provide a home to children in need. It seems like now adoptions are declining for various reasons, and I’m trying to consider my motivations and whether it is right for me and my husband. One of our considerations is that my husband has a physical disability, and I wonder if there is anyone or data about how likely/quickly it’s possible for someone with a significant physical disability to adopt (domestic infant or international). My husband is very physically independent and is the breadwinner in our family. We have not started seriously contacting agencies as we hope to wait a few years before considering starting our family.
Resources:

Types of Adoption (Domestic, International, Foster Care)
Choosing an Adoption Agency
Affording Adoption

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7 Core Issues in Adoption & Foster Care May 29, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you want to help your adopted or foster child work through the big issues they may face in life? Join our discussion of the seven core issues with Allison Davis Maxon, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the co-author of Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency, The Seven Core Issues Workbook for Parents of Traumatized Children and Teens, and The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency Workbook for Children and Teens.
In this episode, we cover:

The 7 core issues in adoption and foster care: Loss, Rejection, Guilt/Shame, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, Mastery/Control
These 7 core issues impact all adoptees and foster kids to some degree and are crucial for adoptive and foster parents to understand.
They also impact all members of the adoption or foster care triad: adoptee or foster child or adult, birth parent, and adoptive/foster parent. Today, we will focus primarily on how these 7 core issues impact adoptees and those who spent time in foster care and what role parents can play in helping their children process these issues.
These core issues can manifest themself differently in children at different ages and stages.
Parents can provide guidance and support, allowing the child to feel every emotion deeply. They can also use education, understanding, awareness, and acceptance tools to encourage the child to move forward.
Loss.
- What have adopted and foster kids lost?
- What can parents do to help?
Rejection.
- How have adopted and foster kids been rejected?
- What can parents do to help?
Guilt/Shame.
- What causes adopted and foster children or adults to feel guilt or shame?
- What can parents do to help?
Grief.
- What can adopted and foster children or adults grieve?
- What can parents do to help?
Identity.
- What are the universal identity issues faced by adopted and foster children or adults?
- Additional issues for transracial adoptees.
- Having the label “foster” to your identity is shaming.
- Does openness in adoption “cure” this issue?
- What can parents do to help?
Intimacy.
- What issues with intimacy are common with adopted and foster children or adults?
- What can parents do to help?
Mastery and Control.
- What mastery and control issues are common with adopted and foster children or adults?
- What can parents do to help?

Our children can heal!
*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases, but we only recommend books that we value. Thanks for your support!

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

You Know You're Ready to Start Thinking About Adoption When . . . - Weekend Wisdom May 26, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you in infertility treatment but possibly considering adoption? Dawn outlines what couples may be considering, which indicates they are ready to consider adoption.
Resources:

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

The Fetishization of Female Asian Adoptees May 22, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us to talk with Dr. Kimberly McKee about her book, Adoption Fantasies: The Fetishization of Asian Adoptees from Girlhood to Womanhood.
In this episode, we cover:
This book explores how Asian women and girls, specifically Asian adoptees in the US, negotiate the sensationalism and fictional portrayal of adoption in US popular culture.

“Modern Family” and “Sex and the City” (and “And Just Like That…”)
“Sideways”
Soon-Yi Previn and Woody Allen
The limits of multiculturalism
How does adoption play into the fetishization of female Asian adoptees?

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

My Top Two Parenting Tips - Weekend Wisdom May 19, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

As a mom of four children through birth and adoption, I’ve been there and done that in terms of parenting. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes and have had my share of successes as well. I’ve also had the privilege of interviewing the top parenting experts over the last almost 17 years we’ve been doing the Creating a Family podcast. It can be hard in the heat of the moment (and there are plenty of hot moments in parenting) to remember too many “rules”. Listen for my top two tips for parenting.
Resources:

Parenting Kids with Challenging Behavior (Resource page)
Raising Kids with Neurodiversity - ADHD, Autism, & Learning Differences (Resource page)
Managing Technology & Screens (Resource page)

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Raising and Healing Abused and Neglected Kids with Dr. Karyn Purvis May 15, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Children adopted from foster care or from abroad have often experienced abuse, neglect, or trauma. These children require a different form of parenting. In 2015, we interviewed Dr. Karyn Purvis, author of The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family, and the founder and Director of the TCU Institute of Child Development.
In this episode, we cover:

Why is parenting kids who have been abused or neglected different from traditional parenting?
What are the 3 most important things I should do during the first 6 months home with a newly adopted child?
How can we discipline our children while still remaining connected and creating attachment?
How can we help a child who has tantrums whenever he hears the word “no” or is told he can’t do something?
How long should parents stay home (if possible) when you adopt?
An adult adoptee asks: I’ve seen before where you say that “Adoptive parents become the biological parents through connection. We change their Biology.” I’ve seen adoptive parents now call themselves biological parents because of this statement. I wonder if it isn’t important for adoptive parents to accept they aren’t their child’s biological parents? Does their lack of acceptance affect how the child adjusts and reacts?
You talk a lot about being proactive with children who have experienced abuse and neglect in order to help them and to improve their behavior. Can you explain what you mean?
Parenting kids adopted from foster care and internationally can be hard on the marriage, especially when one of the parents is the one getting educated on the type of parenting these kids need and the other one has not “bought into” it yet. How to help that parent get with the program.
Suggestions for maintaining a strong marriage when adopting older kids?
How to handle criticism (implied or direct) about your parenting style when you are trying to follow the empower-to-connect style?
Practical tools for encouraging attachment.

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

My Foster Child Only Eats Junk Food - Weekend Wisdom May 12, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: My foster child only likes junk food and will not eat anything that doesn’t come out of a box. We aren’t fanatics, but we try to eat pretty healthily. I don’t want to feed the rest of my family the boxed junk, and I don’t want to feed him separate stuff. Help!
Resources:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Understanding the Child Welfare Experience from the Birth Parent's Perspective May 08, 2024

Show notes

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

We talk a lot about the child's experience in foster care, but what is this experience like for the child's birth parents? You may be surprised! Join our conversation with Dr. Darcey Merritt, a professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Work who researches this topic.
In this episode, we cover:

What is a typical scenario, if there is such a thing, of how a parent finds themselves connecting with the child welfare system?
What rights do parents/birth parents have within the system?
What are some of the challenges birth parents face before the child is taken into custody?
What are some of the challenges that they face once the child is in foster care?
How can you become an ally to the child’s parents?
How does poverty factor in?
Who most commonly reports a family to child welfare?
How does race factor in?
Research in the area of working memory on parental decision-making.