Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Latest Episodes:

I Really Don't Want an Open Adoption! - Weekend Wisdom Jul 13, 2024

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Question: We have applied to adopt a baby. We’re more or less being told that if we don’t agree to an open adoption, we’ll never get chosen by a birth mom. But, I really don’t want an open adoption. I think kids need just one mom and dad and opening up our family to others will just be confusing for everyone. But, I’m afraid that we’ll never get chosen if I say this.
Resources:

Open Adoption (Resource page)
Listening to Adoptee Voices
Understanding the Birth Parents' Experience

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
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Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Parent's Guide to Working with the Schools on Behavior Jul 10, 2024

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Do you have a child who acts out at school? Do you struggle with how to work with the school to help your child? If so, don't miss today's interview with Sarah Naish, the CEO and Founder of the Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma and the author of many books on foster parenting, including The A-Z of Trauma-Informed Teaching.
In this episode, we cover:

Why do our kids often have behavioral problems?
What are some typical behaviors that are problematic in school?
What is it about school that exacerbates behavior issues?
How much training does the average teacher have on the long-term impact of trauma on a child?
How much training does the average teacher have on the long-term impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs on a child?
Many of our kids will have an IEP or 504 Plan. How to address behavioral issues in these plans?
Let’s say you have a child who is acting out (i.e., being defiant, not following rules, disrupting class, and other externalized behavioral issues); what would be your suggestions for a parent to work with the school on these behaviors?
Let’s say you have a child who is withdrawing or fading into the woodwork (i.e., internalized behavioral issues); what would be your suggestions for a parent to work with the school on these behaviors?
That doesn’t mean that there doesn’t need to be consequences.
Question from our audience: Child is being defiant in school and refuses to finish her assignments. Teacher sends the unfinished assignments home to be completed by the next day, in addition to the child’s homework. Parents are spending the entire evening working with child to finish the work. How would you suggest handling it?
Thoughts on homework?
Blame, embarrassment
Homeschooling
What are some ways parents can start the school year off right to set the stage for working with the school to help their child succeed?
Tips for parenting in working with the schools.
1. Share info
2. Share trauma-informed teaching resources.
3. Be honest and upfront about what you will and won’t do. Ex. Homework.

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Grandparents Disapprove of Our Adoption Plans - Weekend Wisdom Jul 06, 2024

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Question: We are planning to adopt our third child. We have reason to believe that my husband’s parents will oppose this idea. Do you have any advice on how to approach them?
Resources:

Transitioning Your Child to Your Home
Winning Over Reluctant Extended Family to Your Adoption Plans
Sibling Relations (Combing Children by Birth & Adoption)

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Interview with the Author of "Relinquished" Jul 03, 2024

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Join us for this discussion with Dr. Gretchen Sisson, the author of Relinquished, the Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood.
In this episode, we cover:

Book focuses on private adoptions between 2000-2020. Not on parents where parental rights were terminated by the state and not on international adoptions.
Full of first-person stories from birth moms.
How many women are currently placing a child for adoption compared to the number of births?
How does this compare to the number of women who decide on abortion? Only 25 % considered adoption, and only 9% relinquished. Turnaway Study
90% of relinquishing moms considered parenting, but only 40% considered abortion.
What is the demographic of the mom who relinquishes her child for adoption between 2000-2020?
Why do women relinquish or choose adoption?
What does the research show on how many women who decide against abortion or can’t have an abortion because their pregnancy is too advanced opt for adoption?
Why do so few women who are considering an abortion not consider adoption?
Very often, the moms in your book and in your research describe adoption as their only option. Why were the other options not seen as viable? “When women have more options available to them, they are less likely to relinquish.”
Options counseling.
How has openness in adoption changed things?
Some research shows birth moms are mostly happy with their decision to place a child for adoption. NCFA Adoption Profile: Birth Parents Experience (1400 birth parents)
The issues of substance abuse disorder, acute mental illness, or extreme poverty are real. Why is it not in the child’s best interest for the mom to choose adoption?
Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997- “fast-tracked termination of parental rights”—failed to talk about the reality of kids growing up in foster care.

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Can You Adopt From Ukraine? - Weekend Wisdom Jun 29, 2024

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Prior to Russia invading Ukraine, it was possible to adopt from Ukraine. In fact, depending on the year, it was one of the top 10 placing countries to the US. However, the government of Ukraine has said that intercountry adoption will not fully resume while martial law is in place. However, the government of Ukraine confirmed they will process intercountry adoptions in limited circumstances.
Resources:

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What the Research on Adult Adoptees Can Teach Us Jun 26, 2024

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Join this interview with Dr. JaeRan Kim, an adoption researcher who also blogs at Harlow's Monkey.
In this episode, we cover:

Research:
- Intercountry adoptees with adoption disruption and displacement histories – Adoptee perspectives
- Korean adoptees as parents
- Adoptees who adopt
- Transracially adopted Korean American adults raising multiracial children
- Adoptive parents of children with disabilities

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5 Tips for Surviving Summer with Kids Impacted by Trauma - Weekend Wisdom Jun 22, 2024

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Summer break is just around the corner for families of school-aged children – whether you are ready or not. You may already be planning your annual vacation, buying pool passes, and buying tickets online for local venues to enjoy together as a family. However, you may also dread your child’s hours of unscheduled time. It’s understandable – transitioning from your predictable, regimented school-year routine to a less structured summer routine can shock your kids’ systems. How do you plan to survive the summer with your kids impacted by trauma?
Resources:

Surviving Summer with Kids Impacted by Trauma (Article)
Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource page)
Raising Foster Children (Resource page)

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Personal Story of Healing from Sexual Abuse Jun 19, 2024

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Join this inspiring discussion with two former foster youths who talk about their time in foster care and how that experience shaped them. Lanitta was a pregnant and parenting teen growing up in the North Carolina foster care system. In May of 2022, she joined the 2% population of former foster youth that graduate from post-secondary education with a bachelor’s degree in business administration and finance. Mayia Warren was in foster care and later adopted by her grandmother. She has multiple invisible disabilities, albinism, and is visually impaired. In the spring of 2021, Mayia graduated with a bachelor's degree in Kinesiology. She is an advocate in multiple fields such as: disability, foster care, children and families, and wellness. She is also an independent recording artist, poet, author and philanthropist.
In this episode, we cover:

Synopsis of your life story.
What were the hardest parts of being in foster care?
What were the better parts, if there were any?
What would you want foster, adoptive, and kinship parents to know about how it feels to be in foster care?
What have been the long-term impacts of sexual abuse?
What helped you heal from the sexual abuse if you consider yourself healed?
What would you want foster, adoptive, and kinship parents to know about how to help a child or youth heal from sexual abuse? What can these safe adults do to help?
You have both “succeeded” despite many obstacles. What do you contribute your success to?

Snippet of Mayia’s new album: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1t9j1coN76ZarHnTDkDClXYuPZm2ya-t3/view?usp=drivesdk

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How to Make and Use an Adoption Lifebook - Weekend Wisdom Jun 15, 2024

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A Lifebook is the story of how your child came to be yours and the story of his life before he came to you. Adoption is only one aspect of your child, and at some point, his life merges into your life. However, he had a life before he came to your family, and his Lifebook tells this part of his story.
Resources

Adoption Lifebooks (Suggested Books)
Welcoming an Older Child to Your Home (Resource Page)
Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)

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Evaluating Risk Factors in International Adoption Jun 12, 2024

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Are you considering adopting internationally. If so, you really should listen to this interview with the great Dr. Dana Johnson, MD, PhD. He is a Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Neonatology at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Dr. Johnson founded the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota.
In this episode, we discuss:

Prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs: How common in international adoption? How much and when in the pregnancy? What does the impact look like in an infant, preschooler, school-aged child, and older?
- Alcohol
- Opioids
- Cocaine
- Methamphetamine
- Marijuana
- Cigarettes
Prenatal stress: Does maternal stress during pregnancy have a long-term impact on the child? Is this something that adoptive parents will know other than by assuming from reading the files?
How heritable are mental illnesses?
- Depression
- Bi-polar
- Schizophrenia
How heritable are the following?
- ADHD
- Intelligence or academic success
Attachment issues: How common with international adoption, and what are the recognizable symptoms of attachment struggles?
- Disinhibited social engagement disorder. What is it, and how common?
- How common is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
Impacts of neglect: How common is neglect in international adoption?
Impact of institutionalization in international adoption.
Impacts of physical abuse: How common in international adoption? How often do referrals report physical abuse?
Impact of sexual abuse: How common in international adoption? How often do referrals report sexual abuse?
Impact of lack of prenatal care.
How common are the following:
- Hepatitis B: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
- Hepatitis C: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
- HIV: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
- Congenital Syphilis: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
- Prematurity: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
- Low Birth Weight: What is the long-term prognosis of a child who was born with low birth weight?
- Cleft lip/palate: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?
- Congenital heart issues
- Missing limbs/digits-amniotic band syndrome
- Albinism
- Dwarfism
Most common special needs you are seeing.
What is the risk to the child if the birth mother has/had tuberculosis?
Other risk factors to be aware of.
Tips for evaluating risk factors in international adoption.
How to find a clinic that specializes in evaluating international adoption referrals?

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